From 4afc57b344003796489fa0cdd980b7f9af7d1e0a Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Stef Dunlap Date: Fri, 6 Jan 2023 11:21:57 -0500 Subject: [PATCH] Add depressive episode readme --- .envrc | 1 + .../2023-01-06-README-depressive-episode.md | 106 ++++++++++++++++++ shell.nix | 9 ++ 3 files changed, 116 insertions(+) create mode 100644 .envrc create mode 100644 content/post/2023-01-06-README-depressive-episode.md create mode 100644 shell.nix diff --git a/.envrc b/.envrc new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1d953f4 --- /dev/null +++ b/.envrc @@ -0,0 +1 @@ +use nix diff --git a/content/post/2023-01-06-README-depressive-episode.md b/content/post/2023-01-06-README-depressive-episode.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..540b0e4 --- /dev/null +++ b/content/post/2023-01-06-README-depressive-episode.md @@ -0,0 +1,106 @@ +--- + +layout: post +title: "README: depressive episode" +slug: "readme-depressive-episode" +date: 2023-01-06 10:15:09 +categories: [personal] + + +--- + +Hello, and welcome. If you've been handed this README, then you're likely +interacting with me while I'm experiencing a depressive episode. I've written +this README on some ways you can help (if you're so inclined) and some best +practices for interacting with me. + +## About (my) depression + +I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder (MAD) with a generalized +anxiety disorder (GAD) component. I'm under the care of doctors and counsellors +who are aware of the diagnosis and prescript appropriate medicines and +therapies. Despite this, I still have regular depressive episodes. These +episodes can have obvious triggers, but often they don't. They generally occur +about once every three months and last one to four weeks. + +During an episode, I experience: + +- lack of energy +- difficulty concentrating +- difficulty talking and articulating points +- cognitive blunting (also called brain fog) +- anxiety symptoms +- an impending sense of doom + +When I was younger and untreated these symptoms were worse and were sometimes +coupled with suicidal ideation. Thanks to treatment, this is extremely rare +today, and when I'm feeling this way, I will tell someone. + +## How you can help + +Of course, my mental health is not your responsibility. This guide assumes +you're a friend, co-worker, manager, or family member who is likely to interact +with me during this episode. These are suggestions and requests, not +requirements. The most important thing I can ask, is **be kind, gentle, and +understanding**. + +### if you're a coworker or manager + +I'm generally going to be less productive when I'm depressed. I may call of +work (sometimes explicitly for mental health, other times as a general "not +feeling well.") I'll likely be less engaged in meetings and may have my camera +off in video meetings. I may request to reschedule 1:1s. I'll be less likely to +volunteer to facilitate a meeting. I may appear less engaged or more +distracted. I'll likely be slower to respond in chat or email. + +The best things you can do are: + +- check in and ask me how I'm doing +- ask about how my current project is going (often this helps dispel some of + the fear and doubts that build up during an episode) +- provide encouragement or positive feedback where appropriate +- postpone non-urgent constructive feedback until the episode has passed +- share this manual with other people who have noticed something is "off" about + me + +#### on absenteeism + +In _very rare_ circumstances, I will be AWOL (away without leave) from work. If +that's the case, especially if you're my manager: first, I sincerely apologize, +second, you're welcome to call me and confirm what's going on. Calling is +better than e-mail in this case, as I'm likely not checking my e-mail. When I +return to work, I will talk to my manager and confirm what happened, back date +any requests for sick/personal days, and accept any disciplinary action. + +### if you're a friend or family member + +When I'm depressed, I'm more likely to temporarily "ghost" people (i.e. not +respond to their texts/e-mails). Please try not to take this personally, this +is a fear response. I often _will_ respond eventually, and regardless _do_ want +to hear from you. You're welcome to resend your message. I won't take this as +being pushy or clingy, but rather as an act of compassion to try to reach out +while I'm not feeling well. + +I may missed scheduled appointments/dates/etc. I'll do my best to cancel as far +in advance as possible, and I likely _do_ want to reschedule when I'm feeling +better. + +Some things I find helpful from friends during an episode: + +- casual phone calls. I'm less likely to check my texts/e-mail during an + episode; you're welcome to call spontaneously +- invitations to low-stakes outings (e.g. walks, casual lunch, mani-pedi) +- words of affirmation + +## Conclusion + +Thank you for taking the time to read this README. If you have any questions, +you're welcome to ask. Mental health disorders, their causes and symptoms, are +an ongoing field of study. Items I've listed in this manual as helpful to me, +may be harmful to other people with depression. If you have friends or family +members who are struggling with depression, talk to them about how you can be +most helpful. + +**If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide, there is hope, and you do not +have to go through this alone. You can find a hotline to call in your country +at https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/.** diff --git a/shell.nix b/shell.nix new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0b7aaed --- /dev/null +++ b/shell.nix @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +{ pkgs ? import {} }: + +with pkgs; + +mkShell { + buildInputs = [ + hugo + ]; +}