861 lines
34 KiB
HTML
861 lines
34 KiB
HTML
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<!DOCTYPE html>
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<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="" xml:lang="">
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<head>
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<meta charset="utf-8" />
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<meta name="generator" content="pandoc" />
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<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0, user-scalable=yes" />
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<meta name="description" content="A silly little role-playing game" />
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<title>Townies & Taverns</title>
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<style>
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html {
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color: #1a1a1a;
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background-color: #fdfdfd;
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}
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body {
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margin: 0 auto;
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max-width: 36em;
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padding-left: 50px;
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padding-right: 50px;
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padding-top: 50px;
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padding-bottom: 50px;
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hyphens: auto;
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overflow-wrap: break-word;
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text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;
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font-kerning: normal;
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}
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@media (max-width: 600px) {
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body {
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font-size: 0.9em;
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padding: 12px;
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}
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h1 {
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font-size: 1.8em;
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}
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}
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@media print {
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html {
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background-color: white;
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}
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body {
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background-color: transparent;
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color: black;
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font-size: 12pt;
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}
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p, h2, h3 {
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orphans: 3;
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widows: 3;
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}
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h2, h3, h4 {
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page-break-after: avoid;
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}
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}
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p {
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margin: 1em 0;
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}
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a {
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color: #1a1a1a;
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}
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a:visited {
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color: #1a1a1a;
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}
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img {
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max-width: 100%;
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}
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svg {
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height; auto;
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max-width: 100%;
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}
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h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6 {
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margin-top: 1.4em;
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}
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h5, h6 {
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font-size: 1em;
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font-style: italic;
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}
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h6 {
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font-weight: normal;
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}
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ol, ul {
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padding-left: 1.7em;
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margin-top: 1em;
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}
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li > ol, li > ul {
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margin-top: 0;
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}
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blockquote {
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margin: 1em 0 1em 1.7em;
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padding-left: 1em;
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border-left: 2px solid #e6e6e6;
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color: #606060;
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}
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code {
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font-family: Menlo, Monaco, Consolas, 'Lucida Console', monospace;
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font-size: 85%;
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margin: 0;
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hyphens: manual;
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}
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pre {
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margin: 1em 0;
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overflow: auto;
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}
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pre code {
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padding: 0;
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overflow: visible;
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overflow-wrap: normal;
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}
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.sourceCode {
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background-color: transparent;
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overflow: visible;
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}
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hr {
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background-color: #1a1a1a;
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border: none;
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height: 1px;
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margin: 1em 0;
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}
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table {
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margin: 1em 0;
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border-collapse: collapse;
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width: 100%;
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overflow-x: auto;
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display: block;
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font-variant-numeric: lining-nums tabular-nums;
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}
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table caption {
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margin-bottom: 0.75em;
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}
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tbody {
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margin-top: 0.5em;
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border-top: 1px solid #1a1a1a;
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border-bottom: 1px solid #1a1a1a;
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}
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th {
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border-top: 1px solid #1a1a1a;
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padding: 0.25em 0.5em 0.25em 0.5em;
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}
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td {
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padding: 0.125em 0.5em 0.25em 0.5em;
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}
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header {
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margin-bottom: 4em;
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text-align: center;
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}
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#TOC li {
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list-style: none;
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}
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#TOC ul {
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padding-left: 1.3em;
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}
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#TOC > ul {
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padding-left: 0;
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}
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#TOC a:not(:hover) {
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text-decoration: none;
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}
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code{white-space: pre-wrap;}
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span.smallcaps{font-variant: small-caps;}
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div.columns{display: flex; gap: min(4vw, 1.5em);}
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div.column{flex: auto; overflow-x: auto;}
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div.hanging-indent{margin-left: 1.5em; text-indent: -1.5em;}
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/* The extra [class] is a hack that increases specificity enough to
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override a similar rule in reveal.js */
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ul.task-list[class]{list-style: none;}
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ul.task-list li input[type="checkbox"] {
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font-size: inherit;
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width: 0.8em;
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margin: 0 0.8em 0.2em -1.6em;
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vertical-align: middle;
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}
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.display.math{display: block; text-align: center; margin: 0.5rem auto;}
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</style>
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<style>
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:root {
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box-sizing: border-box;
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}
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body {
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max-width: min(60ch, 100%);
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margin: 0 auto;
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font-size: 20pt;
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line-height: 1.2;
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padding: 3rem 0;
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font-family: 'Iowan Old Style', 'Palatino Linotype', 'URW Palladio L', P052, serif;
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}
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h1, h2 {
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font-family: system-ui, sans-serif;
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}
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header h1 {
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text-align: center;
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margin-bottom: 3em;
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}
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h2 {
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margin-top: 3em;
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}
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.date {
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text-align: center;
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margin: 8rem 0;
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font-size: small;
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color: initial;
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}
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.pc, .dm {
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width: 69%;
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border: solid 1px wheat;
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border-radius: 13px;
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padding: 1rem 2rem;
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margin-left: 4rem;
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position: relative;
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background: wheat;
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color: black;
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margin-top: 5rem;
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}
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.pc::after {
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content: '🤣';
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position: absolute;
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bottom: 0;
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left: -3rem;
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/*background: wheat;*/
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border-radius: 50%;
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width: 2rem;
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height: 2rem;
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display: flex;
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align-items: center;
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justify-content: center;
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}
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.pc::before, .dm::before {
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content: 'player character';
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font-size: smaller;
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position: absolute;
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top: -2rem;
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left: 1rem;
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color: gray;
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}
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.dm {
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background: lightgreen;
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margin-left: auto;
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}
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.mhj::before {
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content: 'mhj';
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}
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.stux::before {
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content: 'Stux';
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}
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.stux {
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background: pink;
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}
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.stux::after {
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content: '🎉';
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}
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.dm::before {
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content: 'The World';
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right: 0;
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text-align: right;
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}
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.krunn::before {
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content: 'Krunn';
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}
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.krunn {
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background: lightblue;
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}
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.krunn::after {
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content: '🍖';
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}
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.glarg::before {
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content: 'Glarg';
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}
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.glarg {
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background: whitesmoke;
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}
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.glarg::after {
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content: '🪨';
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}
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.cremini::before {
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content: 'Cremini';
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}
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.cremini {
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background: #FF9;
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}
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.cremini::after {
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content: '🍄';
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}
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</style>
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<!--[if lt IE 9]>
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<script src="//cdnjs.cloudflare.com/ajax/libs/html5shiv/3.7.3/html5shiv-printshiv.min.js"></script>
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<![endif]-->
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</head>
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<body>
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<header id="title-block-header">
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<h1 class="title">Townies & Taverns</h1>
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</header>
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<p>Townies & Taverns is an experimental freeform role-playing game
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taking place on the <code>list+town@tilde.town</code> mailing list
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(internal only).</p>
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<p>It started when ~mhj asked the following question:</p>
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<div class="pc mhj">
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<p>What are some good play by email games? It would also be cool to do a
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play by email dungeons and dragons campaign maybe? I dunno how that
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would work, but yeah…</p>
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</div>
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<div class="dm dozens">
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<p>oh snap guess what, it’s already happening</p>
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<p>~</p>
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<p>Defeating the demon hordes and sealing the Bloodmoon Gate was King
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Ardan’s greatest accomplishment. Afterward, he shattered the Staff of
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the Archmage into five pieces and flung them to the farthest regions of
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the Silver Yonder to ensure that the foul gate would remain closed
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forever.</p>
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<p>Each of the five pieces of the staff were entrusted to one of Ardan’s
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most faithful warriors. They developed over the years into five
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powerful, secretive sects. Together, they are known as the Hand.</p>
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<p>The years that followed the closing of the gate were ones of peace
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and prosperity. Generations were born and grew old during Ardan’s reign.
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Such was the fey-touched king’s lifespan elongated. The terrors of the
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Demon Plague soon faded into legend.</p>
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<p>Now, fools and villains have meddled where they ought not. And the
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Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again. Imps, gremlins, and other
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minor demons—harbingers of the demon horde—have been spotted causing
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mischief throughout the Yonder.</p>
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<p>The king, now wizened and enfeebled, has assembled his greatest and
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mightiest adventurers to recover the lost pieces of the Staff of the
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Archmage. For only its power can save the Silver Yonder from the demon
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hordes.</p>
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<p>Unfortunately they never came back.</p>
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<p>So now the king’s quest has fallen to you! The kingdom’s second
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greatest and mightiest adventurers! You must not fail!</p>
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<p>~</p>
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<p>You are at The Famous Shrub, one of the busiest taverns in Woodhome.
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And tonight is your last night in town before heading into the Flooded
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Lands to confront the clan of barbarians known as the Pinky and recover
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the first artifact.</p>
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<ol type="1">
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<li><p>Who are you?</p></li>
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<li><p>Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?</p></li>
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<li><p>What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands?</p></li>
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<li><p>What evidence have you seen of demonic presence?</p></li>
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<li><p>How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?</p></li>
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</ol>
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</div>
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<div class="pc stux">
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<p>Oh, sounds like fun!</p>
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<ol type="1">
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<li><p>I am Stux RowHammer, nearly renowned worlock</p></li>
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<li><p>The Pinky are rumored to have a weapon able to destroy entire
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villages. No one’s ever seen it or seen proof of it, but it’s so scary
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that no one’s every questions it</p></li>
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<li><p>None have ever returned to tell what dark beasts stalk that
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land</p></li>
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<li><p>I spend it enjoying food and games with my family</p></li>
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</ol>
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<p>Did I do that right?</p>
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</div>
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<div class="pc">
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<blockquote>
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<ol type="1">
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<li>Who are you?</li>
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</ol>
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</blockquote>
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<p>oh! oh dear, i figured we’d met already, but i understand if you
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didn’t se–hey! down here! please watch where you step! gnomes don’t have
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very strong bones you know. my name is tato, the illusion! i enjoy card
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tricks, and making people disappear</p>
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<p>…</p>
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<p>ME I MEAN. PAY NO HEED TO THE RUMORS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD</p>
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<blockquote>
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<ol start="2" type="1">
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<li>Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?</li>
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</ol>
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</blockquote>
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<p>like my good friend stux mentioned, it is rumo–huh, what do you mean
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you don’t know me either? i’ve followed you for weeks now</p>
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<p>no matter</p>
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<p>the destruction of entire villages is actually only the second
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scariest trick this weapon this is proof enough for me, it’s just
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science! but to be fully rigorous, i sought to investigate further</p>
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<p>upon discovering the author and asking where these visions came from,
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the author replied “hell awaits you for breaking into my house at this
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hour!”, which i believe refers to the coming demonic invasion</p>
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<blockquote>
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<ol start="5" type="1">
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<li>How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?</li>
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</ol>
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</blockquote>
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<p>woodhome means a lot to me, so i will check in with all of my
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friends!</p>
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<p>none of them are much the speaking type, i do not believe any of them
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have ever spoken a word to me! but their company comforts me
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nonetheless</p>
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</div>
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<div class="dm">
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<p>When the world was young, the bountiful earth and the hungry sea fell
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in love with each other from a distance. The earth would make eyes at
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the sea, and the sea would bashfully wave. They agreed to meet face to
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face to consummate their love, and the waters rose up and flooded the
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land. When the great flood receded, the devastation was total. Great
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cities were erased. Entire civilizations were wiped out. When they saw
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what they had done in their carelessness, earth and sea agreed that,
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though their love may continue to burn, they must never see each other
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again.</p>
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<p>But see each other they did. Quietly and discreetly, their passions
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held in check by the fear of losing control once more.</p>
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<p>The Flooded Lands are the last place where earth and sea mingle.
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Endless bogs, wetlands, swamps, and marshes. Neither the children of the
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earth nor the children of the sea are entirely at home here. Rather,
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this is home to those born of the flood. Things made of mud and clay.
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Slimy, scaley things with and fur and gills.</p>
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<p>Your goal here is to find the Pinky, Ardan’s champion, and recover
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the first artifact of the archmage.</p>
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|||
|
<p>Two paths lie ahead of you.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>One is through the Swamp of Sorrows. It is the most direct route and
|
|||
|
will get you to the Pinky’s monastery the quickest. But it is also the
|
|||
|
most dangerous. For the swamp is full of Dreadlights, Bog Rot, and
|
|||
|
Oneirophants.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>The more circuitous route is also the safer option. It will take you
|
|||
|
around the swamp, through the Trollfen, and over Turtle Mound. A longer
|
|||
|
journey, but one less fraught with danger.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc stux">
|
|||
|
<p>I look at the rest of the party</p>
|
|||
|
<p>“What do you all think? I’m no ranger, I don’t know much about the
|
|||
|
wilderness. I’m not afraid to take the quick route, but I also see the
|
|||
|
wisdom in the more cautious approach”.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc krunn">
|
|||
|
<ol type="1">
|
|||
|
<li><p>Who are you?</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Me Krunn with club who go BONK!</p></li>
|
|||
|
<li><p>Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?</p>
|
|||
|
<p>They too have club go BONK!</p></li>
|
|||
|
<li><p>What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands?</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Big thing with big bite that ouch.</p></li>
|
|||
|
<li><p>What evidence have you seen of demonic presence?</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Big foot that wide as arms.</p></li>
|
|||
|
<li><p>How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Eat drink sleep</p></li>
|
|||
|
</ol>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc krunn">
|
|||
|
<p>Krunn say go swamp more to thing to BONK.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="dm">
|
|||
|
<p>The story thus far: you are on a mission to re-assemble the Staff of
|
|||
|
the Archmage and seal the Bloodmoon Gate to prevent the Demon Horde from
|
|||
|
sweeping across the Silver Yonder. The first piece of the staff is in
|
|||
|
the possession of the Pinky somewhere in the Flooded Lands.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>~</p>
|
|||
|
<p>There is a long footbridge of rotten, moldy, wooden planks that leads
|
|||
|
out across the fetid water. You follow it into the Swamp of Sorrows.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>The swamp is putrid. Almost nauseatingly smelly. A thick carpet of
|
|||
|
orange algae undulates with the rippling of the water beneath it.
|
|||
|
Pockets of swamp gas escape the mud far below and belch noisily when
|
|||
|
they reach the surface. Clouds of insects float above the water, and nip
|
|||
|
at you as you pass by. Large swamp trees grow here, with gnarled,
|
|||
|
twisted roots. Moss and thick vines hang from the branches and block
|
|||
|
your view. Between the trees, in the distance, you can see sulphurous
|
|||
|
yellow dreadlights bobbing up and down, just waiting to lure an
|
|||
|
unwitting traveler out into the waters.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Just up ahead, a large portion of the bridge has collapsed. About as
|
|||
|
far across as a wide road. You look down and see five or eight
|
|||
|
emaciated, milky white bodies floating suspended in the water below you.
|
|||
|
Their eyes are closed and their skin is pulled taught across their
|
|||
|
bones. Their hair spreads out like a halo around their heads. These are
|
|||
|
Oneirophants, slumbering prisoners of the swamp. If you’re lucky, they
|
|||
|
won’t bother you. If you disturb their slumber though, they may try to
|
|||
|
pull you down into the swamp to join them.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO?</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc glarg">
|
|||
|
<p>A few paces left of the entrance to the collapsed bridge is what
|
|||
|
appears to be a boulder with an arm sticking out the side of it. It
|
|||
|
seems to give off a very faint hum.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc krunn">
|
|||
|
<p>Tell Stux and little gnome to stand back. Krunn will roll boulder
|
|||
|
cause Krunn strong.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc glarg">
|
|||
|
<p>As you study the boulder you notice the arm protruding from it is
|
|||
|
made of the same burnt umber stone as the rest of the boulder… peculiar
|
|||
|
because the ground around it is… well, swamp coloured.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>The boulder begins to visibly vibrate. At first faint, but then as if
|
|||
|
a stampeed of horses was going on around it.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc krunn">
|
|||
|
<p>Stux what we do ? It might be woo woo magic. Krunn slowly backs away
|
|||
|
waiting for Stux or the gnomes reply.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc stux">
|
|||
|
<p>Hmmmm… Something strange is going on here. I’m going to put on my
|
|||
|
sunglasses of true sight and see if anything becomes obvious.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc glarg">
|
|||
|
<p>Through the sunglasses you can see the outline of a large bulky
|
|||
|
humanoid curled up into a tight ball with its arm sticking out.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>All of a sudden, with a loud, deep crack, the leg dislodges itself
|
|||
|
from the ball and starts kicking the ground. Now the boulder is rocking
|
|||
|
back-and-forth in place with the leg kicking the ground when it gets
|
|||
|
close.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc stux">
|
|||
|
<p>“Hey Krunn, its BONKING TIME! Somtimes you gotta BONK first and ask
|
|||
|
questions when they regain conscienceness”</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc krunn">
|
|||
|
<p>With a solemn nod to Stux, Krunn raises his club over his head with
|
|||
|
both hands and runs at the rock. BONK!</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="dm">
|
|||
|
<p>While Stux and Krunn were fussing around with the leggy one-armed
|
|||
|
boulder, you inadvertently attracted the attention of the swamp’s least
|
|||
|
desirable denizens.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Three oneirophants—the lanky, clammy, pale drowned creatures who
|
|||
|
sleep at the bottom of the swamp—have crawled up onto the pier. They
|
|||
|
slither around on their bellies grinning and grabbing at your
|
|||
|
ankles.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>“Come swim with us!” says the one with no teeth.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>“Yes, come sleep under water!” agrees the one with far too many
|
|||
|
teeth.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>“Such sights you will see!”</p>
|
|||
|
<p>“Yes, such wonders!”</p>
|
|||
|
<p>The third oneirophant’s mouth is sewn shut so you have no idea
|
|||
|
whether or not it has an appropriate number of teeth. It is awkwardly
|
|||
|
fumbling around with the ankle of the humanoid boulder but seems
|
|||
|
incapable of getting a hold of it with its cold slippery hand. It looks
|
|||
|
frustrated and uncomfortable.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>One of the bobbing dreadlights—alerted to your presence by the
|
|||
|
commotion—weaves its way over to the pier and shines brightly in your
|
|||
|
eyes so that you have to squint.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>“hEy dO YoU YoU WaNt tO SeE A WeIrD TuRtLe?” says the dreadlight.
|
|||
|
“iT’S RiGhT OvEr hErE, fOlLoW Me. It’s rEaLlY WeIrD. yOu gOtTa sEe
|
|||
|
iT.”</p>
|
|||
|
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO?</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc krunn">
|
|||
|
<p>Krunn BONKS! one of the oneirophants that talks to much.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc glarg">
|
|||
|
<p>After Krunn BONKS the boulder, its shaking slows to a rumble and then
|
|||
|
stops. Then <strong>CRACK</strong>; a squat hemisphere pops out of the
|
|||
|
top of the boulder. The hemisphere rotates 180 degrees. As the… head?…
|
|||
|
completes its rotation, what appears to be crude facial feature become
|
|||
|
visible, like a sculpter was making the rough draft of a head in
|
|||
|
clay.</p>
|
|||
|
<p><strong>CRACK</strong> another arm pops out of the side of the
|
|||
|
boulder. Now the fingers on the hand of the first arm are starting to
|
|||
|
move. The boulder rocks back and forth, pivoting around where it’s
|
|||
|
fourth leg should be.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>The mass suddenly stops wiggling as the oneirophants start talking.
|
|||
|
It then looks at one clawing at its leg. It bends over at the middle
|
|||
|
forming a waist until its head is about a foot from the dreadlights. It
|
|||
|
opens its mouth indentation and makes a noise clearly not coming from
|
|||
|
its throat, but somewhere deep within it, a noise that sounds deep,
|
|||
|
gutteral, cosmic, and earthy.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>“ggglllaaaAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!”</p>
|
|||
|
<p>It moves its arm down towards the oneirophant in an attempt to grab
|
|||
|
it and throw it back into the lake.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="dm">
|
|||
|
<p>The oneirophant slithers around on its belly, grinning up at you with
|
|||
|
its sharp little pointy teeth and its large wet eyes.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>“Come sleep and swim with us!” it hisses at you. “You can be like a
|
|||
|
shark! Sleeping and swimming with one eye open and—ACK!”</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Krunn BONKS the talkative oneirophant right on its noggin. Its skull
|
|||
|
makes a squishy sound and flattens—ejecting a surprising amount of
|
|||
|
water—and slowly, slowly returns to its normal shape like a sponge. It
|
|||
|
looks up at Krunn, insulted and cross-eyed and kind of lopsided, and
|
|||
|
slinks away off the side of the pier and back into the swamp with a
|
|||
|
plop.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Meanwhile Glarg is glarging out super hard. As the oneirophant tries
|
|||
|
in vain to grab your ankle, you in turn wrap your giant rocky fist
|
|||
|
around its entire torso and lift it up. It hisses and slither wriggles
|
|||
|
in your grasp. You squeeze a little too tightly, and it pops out of your
|
|||
|
grasp like a slippery fish. You comically juggle it a few times,
|
|||
|
squeezing and shooting it from your fist. Until finally it flops onto
|
|||
|
the pier, and back into the water.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>The remaining oneirophants make rude faces and wag their fingers at
|
|||
|
you, disgusted at your inhospitable behavior. And they too slither off
|
|||
|
the side of the pier.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Only the dreadlight remains, bobbing up and down in the air. It is a
|
|||
|
small orb of light about the size of your fist. It glows a sulphurous
|
|||
|
yellow a couple arm lengths away from the pier, hovering over the
|
|||
|
water.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>It buzzes as it speaks in a slightly muffled, undulating voice,
|
|||
|
“tHeRe’s a tUrTlE OuT HeRe tHaT Is tOtAlLy wEiRd. It’s lIkE, yOu
|
|||
|
wOuLdN’T EvEn bElIeVe iT. yOu’vE GoT To cOmE SeE ThIs wEiRd tUrTlE,
|
|||
|
c’mOn.”</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Meanwhile, your way forward is still blocked by the washed out
|
|||
|
bridge.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc glarg">
|
|||
|
<p>Glarg squints its eye indents at the the dreadlight. Mistaking it for
|
|||
|
a shiny rock, it walks on to the pier in attempt to grab it.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc krunn">
|
|||
|
<p>Krunn like blinky light too. Krunn also like turtle. YUM! Krunn
|
|||
|
follows Glarg.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="dm">
|
|||
|
<p>Glarg grabs at the dreadlight.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>“WHoA ThErE BuDdY!” cries the dreadlight as it dances away,
|
|||
|
tantalizingly just out of your grasp, luring you closer and closer to
|
|||
|
the edge of the pier. “lEt’s nOt bE So gRaBbY OkAy bIg gUy? I CaN’T ShOw
|
|||
|
yOu tHiS WeIrD TuRtLe iF I’M AlL CaPtUrEd aNd sTuFf! aNd tHaT WoUlD Be
|
|||
|
sAd wOuLdN’T It? FoR ThErE To bE ThIs tOtAlLy wEiRd tUrTlE, aNd nObOdY
|
|||
|
GeTs tO SeE It?”</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Krunn sees Glarg grasp repeatedly at the annoying, bobbing light.
|
|||
|
Finally, inevitably, they overextend themself and start to lose their
|
|||
|
balance, teetering on the edge of the pier.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>And then–KerSPLASH!!–down they go.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Glarg floats like a stone in the water. Which is to say, not at all.
|
|||
|
A gleeful oneirophant burbles with delight as you sink past, “Yes! Haha,
|
|||
|
yessssss!”, and finally you come to rest in the mud at the bottom of the
|
|||
|
swamp.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>The surface of the water is only five or six feet out of your
|
|||
|
reach.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>You notice that you came to rest near a large, smooth, oblong,
|
|||
|
patterned stone. And as you watch, the stone opens along its seam and a
|
|||
|
large, striped turtle head pokes out and looks at you curiously. Then a
|
|||
|
second striped head emerges from the shell! The second head continues to
|
|||
|
regard you while the first one extends its neck and experimentally
|
|||
|
nibbles on your arm with a gentle bite.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc stux">
|
|||
|
<p>Suddenly you see a rope peirce the surface of the water and make it’s
|
|||
|
way to you. You grab on to it, and someone starts pulling you out. You
|
|||
|
notice it feels too soft to be a rope, and it’s full of knots.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>As you come out of the water you see the warlock Stux pulling you to
|
|||
|
shore. That’s when you finally see that the “rope” is actually a series
|
|||
|
of brightly colored hankerchiefs tied together.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Stux says: “Guys, I have a confession to make. I didn’t exactly tell
|
|||
|
you the whole truth about myself. You see, I am a warlock, but I’m a
|
|||
|
party warlock. Like kids parties. My deity is Bozo The Clown. I really
|
|||
|
do have magic, but it’s not the cool or useful kind.”</p>
|
|||
|
<p>He looks down at his feet. “I just wanted to feel cool, like a real
|
|||
|
adventurer and not a 38 year old party entertainer that live’s in his
|
|||
|
grandmother’s basement”</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc cremini">
|
|||
|
<p>“Did someone say magic and parties?” says a giggling voice from
|
|||
|
somewhere under the pier. A small round head wearing a flat hat with
|
|||
|
pops out from among the algae and rocks to peer curiously at Stux with
|
|||
|
beady black eyes. It smiles softly at the party warlock. “Entertainers
|
|||
|
are cool! Are you holding a party? That’s useful for having fun!”</p>
|
|||
|
<p>The round head clambers up to the surface, it becomes clear that the
|
|||
|
brown flat hat is in fact the top of the stubby creature’s head. It is
|
|||
|
also apparent that they have no arms and legs (or at least no visible
|
|||
|
appendages), but it manages to wobble closer until it is standing about
|
|||
|
a warlock’s arm’s length away.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>“This one is Cremini!” It beams. “What a wonderful day for a poolside
|
|||
|
party!”</p>
|
|||
|
<p>It turns to the water and begins to blow bubbles along the surface of
|
|||
|
the swamp from the top of its head.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc glarg">
|
|||
|
<p>Glarg looks at, what it perceives to be, a talking rock. Glarg picks
|
|||
|
up Cremini and holds it close to its bosom turn to look down at the lake
|
|||
|
and rumbles:</p>
|
|||
|
<p>“Twaarrrrr-taaaal”</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc cremini">
|
|||
|
<p>The talking mushroom rock — or is it a rock mushroom? — giggles when
|
|||
|
Glarg picks it up. “You’re very strong!” It exclaims. They look
|
|||
|
downwards at the lake as well. “Turtles all the way down!”</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="dm">
|
|||
|
<p>recap:</p>
|
|||
|
<p>the Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again and harbingers of
|
|||
|
the Demon Horde have been seen in the Silver Yonder. Your mission is to
|
|||
|
recover the Five Artifacts and reassemble the Staff of the Archmage, the
|
|||
|
legendary weapon that can seal the demon gate forever. You are currently
|
|||
|
in the Swamp of Sorrows seeking the Pinky, guardian of the first
|
|||
|
artifact.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>And now:</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Stux the party warlock fishes Glarg out of the swamp.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Glarg picks up Cremini, the small agreeable mushroom creature whose
|
|||
|
rock content is currently unknown.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Krunn assesses the landscape for potential things to bonk.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>The swamp water bubbles, froths, and churns. As though summoned by
|
|||
|
the Glarg’s words, a two-headed turtle of enormous girth breaches the
|
|||
|
surface.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Its shell is black and covered in spiraling geodesic patterns. Its
|
|||
|
heads are also black, and have colorful stripes that run from behind
|
|||
|
their eyes along the back of their heads and necks.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>You think that if you play this right and pacify the turtle somehow
|
|||
|
with your unique skills and talents, that it might ferry you across the
|
|||
|
washed out bridge to the other side.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>The dreadlight bobs up and down excitedly, “oH HeCk yEaH LoOk aT ThAt
|
|||
|
tUrTlE! oH MaN It iS So wEiRd hAhA! hAhA, wHeEeEe!”</p>
|
|||
|
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO?</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc krunn">
|
|||
|
<p>Stux even though you party lock I still your friend and won’t bonk
|
|||
|
you. Krunn like to party. Krunn sees turtle and licks lips. He decides
|
|||
|
not to BONK! turtle but to use ancient barbarian turtle charming
|
|||
|
technique. He starts to play drums on his club.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc cremini">
|
|||
|
<p>From its cozy nook in Glarg’s arms, Cremini bobs its small rock-y
|
|||
|
head to the beat of Krunn’s club drums. They send tiny bubbles floating
|
|||
|
in the air towards the turtle with light popping sounds in sync with the
|
|||
|
rhythm.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc glarg">
|
|||
|
<p>Glarg is vibin~~</p>
|
|||
|
<p>It feels moved to “sing”. A sound emminated from it that is
|
|||
|
reminiscent of an inactive volcano trying to sing the A-B-Cs to the beat
|
|||
|
of the Krunn’s drum.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="dm">
|
|||
|
<p>The party starts ROCKING OUT.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>It is a total raver!</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Krunn is drumming, Glarg is singing, Cremini is blowing bubbles. And
|
|||
|
Stux the Party Warlock is doing all kinds of cool party tricks. Making
|
|||
|
balloon animals. They even managed to produce a small xylophone from
|
|||
|
somewhere and are banging out a jaunty melody with a tiny mallet.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>The giant, two-headed turtle freezes in place. Both heads regard you,
|
|||
|
wide-eyed and silent. And then they both start bobbing up and down in
|
|||
|
time to the music.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>After the performance, the giant, obsidian turtle drifts over to the
|
|||
|
edge of the pier. You climb aboard, and continue to party hard and rock
|
|||
|
out as the creature happily ferries you safely across the swamp.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>The dreadlight, still bobbing up and down in place, cries out, “oMg
|
|||
|
tHaT Is sO SiCk! HaHa wHaT A WeIrD TuRtLe! YoU GuYs aRe tOtAlLy
|
|||
|
cRaZy!”</p>
|
|||
|
<p>You land on the other side and de-turtle, climbing out onto the slick
|
|||
|
grass and mud of the far shore. The turtle sinks back into the swamp
|
|||
|
with a small smile on each of its faces and settles down into the mud
|
|||
|
for a long nap.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>You follow the path through the swamp and eventually come to a
|
|||
|
large-ish clearing. It is a small glade full of silvery blades of grass.
|
|||
|
It is full of eviscerated gilpins—small swamp gnomes that kind of
|
|||
|
resemble fish-like bunny rabbits; it is kind of unfair how cute they
|
|||
|
are—strewn about in piles and pieces. The center of the glade is
|
|||
|
completely clean and clear of the gore that fills the rest of the space.
|
|||
|
It is empty except for a circle of small toadstools, in the center of
|
|||
|
which sits a tiny black cat which looks up at you with huge round yellow
|
|||
|
eyes. It mewls pathetically and rolls on its back.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc krunn">
|
|||
|
<p>Krunn looks sternly at the cat. “Why you kill all gnome thing? You
|
|||
|
going to get a BONK for that. Bad Kitty!” Krunn walks toward the black
|
|||
|
cat with his club raised. Ready to BONK it.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc glarg">
|
|||
|
<p>Glarg, is new to being around fleshy lifeforms. It is left assuming
|
|||
|
that the gilpins must’ve gotten carried away while playing and fallen
|
|||
|
apart. It clumsily tries to put one back together and wait for it to
|
|||
|
turn back on.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc cremini">
|
|||
|
<p>Spotting the toadstools, Cremini sends out tiny pink bubbles that
|
|||
|
land on each toadstool’s head in some convoluted pattern that may as
|
|||
|
well be random were it not for the <em>blip bloop</em> sounds. Like a
|
|||
|
chipmunk’s tune, with only 8 bits.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="dm">
|
|||
|
<p>Cremini blows some tiny pink bubbles and plays some dope toadstool
|
|||
|
chiptune. The toadstools light up in a neon pastel pattern of bright
|
|||
|
pinks and yellows and blues and purples. You can’t help but think that
|
|||
|
the dreadlight would think this is tOtAlLy aWeSoMe.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Glarg puzzles over a few gilpin pieces and clumsily tries to assemble
|
|||
|
them. They end up with a cluster of two or three torsos and a few too
|
|||
|
many limbs jutting out at odd angles. Almost as an afterthought they
|
|||
|
thrust a head into its center. It is a furry, scaly, rabbity, fishy
|
|||
|
abomination. They set it down on the ground and make some coaxing,
|
|||
|
pleading sounds at it. It sounds like smooth river rocks rubbing against
|
|||
|
each other.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Krunn severely scolds and chastises the very bad kitty! In reply, it
|
|||
|
rolls onto its side and does a big streeeeeeetch, clawing at the ground
|
|||
|
and doing a cute meow-purr.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Krunn crosses into the toadstool circle and the small cat leaps to
|
|||
|
its feet, arches its back and hisses and spits at the sudden intrusion.
|
|||
|
It backs away but doesn’t leave the circle, and soon it is cornered, and
|
|||
|
Krunn gives it a solid BONK right on the head, leaving a small gash
|
|||
|
across the top of its head. It falls to the ground in a heap and doesn’t
|
|||
|
move.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>The toadstools audibly exhale, and a pinkish cloud of spores engulf
|
|||
|
the cat. It yowls and jumps up and puffs up to an enormous size. Its
|
|||
|
eyes bulge. And its warping, twisting bones outgrow their fleshy
|
|||
|
enclosure, starting at the skull where Krunn split it. When its
|
|||
|
transformation is complete, a huge skeletal beast with a mane of black
|
|||
|
fur across its shoulders stands inside the mushroom circle. It roars,
|
|||
|
baring its long fangs, and swipes at Krunn with its sharp boney
|
|||
|
claws!</p>
|
|||
|
<p>The spores waft throughout the glade. A few of them drift over and
|
|||
|
land on the flesh golem Glarg made of gilpin pieces. They seep into its
|
|||
|
skin and its eyes shoot open. It looks around in apparent confusion,
|
|||
|
gasps for air, and moans. It cautiously reaches out to Glarg with its
|
|||
|
tangle of limbs. “Ma… Ma?”</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Crimini notices that—although they have stopped making music at this
|
|||
|
point—the toadstools continue to pulse weakly but rhythmically in a
|
|||
|
repeating pattern of colors.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO?</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc glarg">
|
|||
|
<p>Glarg is delighted that the flesh elemental has reanimated! It looks
|
|||
|
over its shoulder and is alarmed by the new calcium/keratin elemental
|
|||
|
that appeared out of nowhere. It picks up Jr, the flesh elemental, and
|
|||
|
puts it in the crook of its left arm while shifting Crimini to the
|
|||
|
right, and slowly backs backs away towards the entrance to the
|
|||
|
grove.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc cremini">
|
|||
|
<p>“Oops. Should’ve started with a demo cut. Hee hee.” says Cremini from
|
|||
|
the crook of Glarg’s arm. It emits a few more teeny green bubbles
|
|||
|
towards the toadstools, just for a few opening notes of an adagio to
|
|||
|
float out. A midi playing on air.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc krunn">
|
|||
|
<p>Wide eyed, Krunn takes a few steps back. “Krunn sorry for BONK. Maybe
|
|||
|
we can be friends” Kronn says. He reaches into his belt pouch and pulls
|
|||
|
out a piece of yarn. “Look kitty I have to for you.” he says as he
|
|||
|
dangles it in front of the monster cat.</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="dm">
|
|||
|
<p>Krunn entices the skelebeast with a piece of yarn. It stops and cocks
|
|||
|
its head to the side. It flops onto its side, and bats at the end of
|
|||
|
string with one big skeletal paw. Its long tail swishes back and forth
|
|||
|
in a wide arc.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Glarg backs up with Jr in one arm and Cremini in the other. They
|
|||
|
notice a cylindrical item rattling around inside the beast’s rib cage.
|
|||
|
It is the size of a small torch, or some kind of baton, or maybe a large
|
|||
|
rolled up scroll. It seems to be made of some kind of a dull silvery
|
|||
|
metal.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Cremini blows a few tiny green bubbles. The toadstools bop out a
|
|||
|
little melody.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Jr, the gilpin flesh elemental, smiles happily and groans, and waves
|
|||
|
their arms around in time with the toadstool song.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="date">
|
|||
|
<p>Wed, Apr 12 at 8:13 PM</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc cremini">
|
|||
|
<p>Following Glarg’s line of sight, Cremini squints at the skelekat’s
|
|||
|
ribs, “Hey, party people! What’s that inside the skele? Could it be a
|
|||
|
treasure map? Should we ask it for a looksie?”</p>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
<div class="pc glarg">
|
|||
|
<p>“DRaaagaaaarMArrrrrb?”</p>
|
|||
|
<p>Glarg squints its eye sockets at the mineral/protein elemental. It
|
|||
|
puts Cremini down gently and then carefully balances Jr on top of his
|
|||
|
“hat.”</p>
|
|||
|
<p>He then starts a sprint/gallop on all fours, faster than you might
|
|||
|
expect a sentient boulder to move. Its goal is to climb the elemental
|
|||
|
and grab the curly rock trapped inside.</p>
|
|||
|
<p>It tries to communicate in one of the common elemental language that
|
|||
|
its here to help disloge the foreign body from the chest cavity, which
|
|||
|
sounds a little like:</p>
|
|||
|
<pre><code>++++++++++[>+>+++>+++++++>++++++++++<<<<-]>>>+++.<++.>>---.++++++++++++.<<.>>-----.---.+++++++++++++.-------------.<<.>>+++++++++++++++.-----.<<.>>-------.---.+++++++.++++.<<.>>+++++++++.----------.++++++.<<.>>----------------.+++++++.-------.++++++++.--------.+++++++++.++++++.-------------------.+++++++++++.<<.>>------.++++++++++++.---------.----.+++++++++.----------.<<++++++++++++++.</code></pre>
|
|||
|
</div>
|
|||
|
</body>
|
|||
|
</html>
|