commit 5fd4bc697e4c2fd624bf26b42068d2264d00e88a Author: Christopher P. Brown Date: Wed Sep 27 06:06:00 2023 -0600 git init diff --git a/LICENSE b/LICENSE new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f80b113 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ + WICCAN REDE PUBLIC LICENSE + Version 1, August 2022 + +Copyright (C) 2023 dozens@tilde.team + +Everyone is permitted to copy and distribute verbatim or modified +copies of this license document, and changing it is allowed as long +as the name is changed. + +TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR COPYING, DISTRIBUTION, AND MODIFICATION + +0. Harm no one +1. Do what you want diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d93f5fd --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,14 @@ +# bloodmoongate + +this is a short incomplete roleplaying game +that me and some townies played +on the internal mailing list + +it is also a markdown file +and some custom css +that is fed to pandoc +to create some fancy html + +it is also a groff file +that targets plain text +and pdf diff --git a/groff/justfile b/groff/justfile new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2b71f71 --- /dev/null +++ b/groff/justfile @@ -0,0 +1,26 @@ +src := 'src/story.ms' +builddir := 'out' + +# show all commands +default: + just --list --unsorted + +# groff to text +text: + groff -Tutf8 -ms {{src}} \ + | sed "s,\x1B\[[0-9;]*[a-zA-Z],,g" \ + > {{builddir}}/story.txt + +# groff to pdf +pdf: + groff -Tpdf -ms {{src}} \ + > {{builddir}}/story.pdf + +# watch for changed, build pdf +watchpdf: + ls {{src}} \ + | entr -c -r just pdf + +# remove build files +clean: + rm {{builddir}}/* diff --git a/groff/out/story.pdf b/groff/out/story.pdf new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6f899cd Binary files /dev/null and b/groff/out/story.pdf differ diff --git a/groff/out/story.txt b/groff/out/story.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e1dd4eb --- /dev/null +++ b/groff/out/story.txt @@ -0,0 +1,792 @@ + + + + + + + + + + TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE + + + dozens and the tilde.town players + dozens@tilde.team + + + + Townies & Taverns is an unfinished experimental + freeform role‐playing game that took place in the + spring of 2023 on the internal list+town@tilde.town + mailing list. + + It all started when ˜mhj asked the following question: + + What are some good play by email games? It + would also be cool to do a play by email dun‐ + geons and dragons campaign maybe? I dunno + how that would work, but yeah... —mhj + + + What follows is the answer to that question. + + + +27 September 2023 + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE + + + + + DOZENS So now the king’s quest + has fallen to you! The king‐ +Defeating the demon hordes and dom’s second greatest and +sealing the Bloodmoon Gate was mightiest adventurers! You must +King Ardan’s greatest accom‐ not fail! +plishment. Afterward, he shat‐ +tered the Staff of the Archmage You are at The Famous +into five pieces and flung them Shrub, one of the busiest tav‐ +to the farthest regions of the erns in Woodhome. And tonight +Silver Yonder to ensure that is your last night in town be‐ +the foul gate would remain fore heading into the Flooded +closed forever. Lands to confront the clan of + barbarians known as the Pinky + Each of the five pieces of and recover the first artifact. +the staff were entrusted to one +of Ardan’s most faithful war‐ 1. Who are you? +riors. They developed over the +years into five powerful, se‐ 2. Why do the Woodhomians fear +cretive sects. Together, they the Pinky? +are known as the Hand. + 3. What terrible creature lurks + The years that followed in the Flooded Lands? +the closing of the gate were +ones of peace and prosperity. 4. What evidence have you seen +Generations were born and grew of demonic presence? +old during Ardan’s reign. Such +was the fey‐touched king’s 5. How are you spending your +lifespan elongated. The terrors last night in Woodhome? +of the Demon Plague soon faded +into legend. STUX + + Now, fools and villains Oh, sounds like fun! +have meddled where they ought +not. And the Bloodmoon Gate has +started to open once again. 1. I am Stux RowHammer, nearly +Imps, gremlins, and other minor renowned worlock +demons—harbingers of the demon +horde—have been spotted causing 2. The Pinky are rumored to +mischief throughout the Yonder. have a weapon able to de‐ + stroy entire villages. No + The king, now wizened and one’s ever seen it or seen +enfeebled, has assembled his proof of it, but it’s so +greatest and mightiest adven‐ scary that no one’s every +turers to recover the lost questions it +pieces of the Staff of the +Archmage. For only its power 3. None have ever returned to +can save the Silver Yonder from tell what dark beasts stalk +the demon hordes. that land + + Unfortunately they never 4. I spend it enjoying food and +came back. games with my family + + + + + 1 + + + + + + TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE + + +Did I do that right? any of them have ever spoken a + word to me! but their company + MHJ comforts me nonetheless + +1. Who are you? DOZENS + + oh! oh dear, i figured When the world was young, the +we’d met already, but i under‐ bountiful earth and the hungry +stand if you didn’t se—hey! sea fell in love with each +down here! please watch where other from a distance. The +you step! gnomes don’t have earth would make eyes at the +very strong bones you know. my sea, and the sea would bash‐ +name is tato, the illusion! i fully wave. They agreed to meet +enjoy card tricks, and making face to face to consummate +people disappear their love, and the waters rose + up and flooded the land. When + ME I MEAN. PAY NO HEED TO the great flood receded, the +THE RUMORS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD devastation was total. Great + cities were erased. Entire +2. Why do the Woodhomians fear civilizations were wiped out. + the Pinky? When they saw what they had + done in their carelessness, + like my good friend stux earth and sea agreed that, +mentioned, it is rumo—huh, what though their love may continue +do you mean you don’t know me to burn, they must never see +either? i’ve followed you for each other again. +weeks now + But see each other they + no matter did. Quietly and discreetly, + their passions held in check by + the destruction of entire the fear of losing control once +villages is actually only the more. +second scariest trick this +weapon this is proof enough for The Flooded Lands are the +me, it’s just science! but to last place where earth and sea +be fully rigorous, i sought to mingle. Endless bogs, wet‐ +investigate further lands, swamps, and marshes. + Neither the children of the + upon discovering the au‐ earth nor the children of the +thor and asking where these vi‐ sea are entirely at home here. +sions came from, the author Rather, this is home to those +replied "hell awaits you for born of the flood. Things made +breaking into my house at this of mud and clay. Slimy, scaley +hour!", which i believe refers things with and fur and gills. +to the coming demonic invasion +How are you spending your last Your goal here is to find +night in Woodhome? the Pinky, Ardan’s champion, + and recover the first artifact + woodhome means a lot to of the archmage. +me, so i will check in with all +of my friends! Two paths lie ahead of + you. + none of them are much the +speaking type, i do not believe + + + + 2 + + + + + + TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE + + + One is through the Swamp Big foot that wide as +of Sorrows. It is the most di‐ arms. +rect route and will get you to +the Pinky’s monastery the 5. How are you spending your +quickest. But it is also the last night in Woodhome? +most dangerous. For the swamp +is full of Dreadlights, Bog Eat drink sleep +Rot, and Oneirophants. + KRUNN + The more circuitous route +is also the safer option. It Krunn say go swamp more to +will take you around the swamp, thing to BONK. +through the Trollfen, and over +Turtle Mound. A longer journey, DOZENS +but one less fraught with dan‐ +ger. The story thus far: you are on + a mission to re‐assemble the + WHAT DO YOU DO Staff of the Archmage and seal + the Bloodmoon Gate to prevent + STUX the Demon Horde from sweeping + across the Silver Yonder. The +I look at the rest of the party first piece of the staff is in + the possession of the Pinky + "What do you all think? somewhere in the Flooded Lands. +I’m no ranger, I don’t know +much about the wilderness. I’m There is a long footbridge +not afraid to take the quick of rotten, moldy, wooden planks +route, but I also see the wis‐ that leads out across the fetid +dom in the more cautious ap‐ water. You follow it into the +proach". Swamp of Sorrows. + + KRUNN The swamp is putrid. Al‐ + most nauseatingly smelly. A +1. Who are you? thick carpet of orange algae + undulates with the rippling of + Me Krunn with club who go the water beneath it. Pockets +BONK! of swamp gas escape the mud far + below and belch noisily when +2. Why do the Woodhomians fear they reach the surface. Clouds + the Pinky? of insects float above the wa‐ + ter, and nip at you as you pass + They too have club go by. Large swamp trees grow +BONK! here, with gnarled, twisted + roots. Moss and thick vines +3. What terrible creature lurks hang from the branches and + in the Flooded Lands? block your view. Between the + trees, in the distance, you can + Big thing with big bite see sulphurous yellow dread‐ +that ouch. lights bobbing up and down, + just waiting to lure an unwit‐ +4. What evidence have you seen ting traveler out into the wa‐ + of demonic presence? ters. + + + + + + 3 + + + + + + TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE + + + Just up ahead, a large Stux what we do ? It might be +portion of the bridge has col‐ woo woo magic. Krunn slowly +lapsed. About as far across as backs away waiting for Stux or +a wide road. You look down and the gnomes reply. +see five or eight emaciated, +milky white bodies floating STUX +suspended in the water below +you. Their eyes are closed and Hmmmm... Something strange is +their skin is pulled taught going on here. I’m going to put +across their bones. Their hair on my sunglasses of true sight +spreads out like a halo around and see if anything becomes ob‐ +their heads. These are Oneiro‐ vious. +phants, slumbering prisoners of +the swamp. If you’re lucky, GLARG +they won’t bother you. If you +disturb their slumber though, Through the sunglasses you can +they may try to pull you down see the outline of a large +into the swamp to join them. bulky humanoid curled up into a + tight ball with its arm stick‐ + WHAT DO YOU DO? ing out. + + GLARG All of a sudden, with a + loud, deep crack, the leg dis‐ +A few paces left of the en‐ lodges itself from the ball and +trance to the collapsed bridge starts kicking the ground. Now +is what appears to be a boulder the boulder is rocking back‐ +with an arm sticking out the and‐forth in place with the leg +side of it. It seems to give kicking the ground when it gets +off a very faint hum. close. + + KRUNN STUX + +Tell Stux and little gnome to "Hey Krunn, its BONKING TIME! +stand back. Krunn will roll Somtimes you gotta BONK first +boulder cause Krunn strong. and ask questions when they re‐ + gain conscienceness" + GLARG + KRUNN +As you study the boulder you +notice the arm protruding from With a solemn nod to Stux, +it is made of the same burnt Krunn raises his club over his +umber stone as the rest of the head with both hands and runs +boulder... peculiar because the at the rock. BONK! +ground around it is... well, +swamp coloured. DOZENS + + The boulder begins to vis‐ While Stux and Krunn were fuss‐ +ibly vibrate. At first faint, ing around with the leggy one‐ +but then as if a stampeed of armed boulder, you inadver‐ +horses was going on around it. tently attracted the attention + of the swamp’s least desirable + KRUNN denizens. + + + + + + 4 + + + + + + TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE + + + Three oneirophants—the **CRACK** another arm pops +lanky, clammy, pale drowned out of the side of the boulder. +creatures who sleep at the bot‐ Now the fingers on the hand of +tom of the swamp—have crawled the first arm are starting to +up onto the pier. They slither move. The boulder rocks back +around on their bellies grin‐ and forth, pivoting around +ning and grabbing at your an‐ where it’s fourth leg should +kles. be. + + "Come swim with us!" says The mass suddenly stops +the one with no teeth. wiggling as the oneirophants + start talking. It then looks at + "Yes, come sleep under wa‐ one clawing at its leg. It +ter!" agrees the one with far bends over at the middle form‐ +too many teeth. ing a waist until its head is + about a foot from the dread‐ + "Such sights you will lights. It opens its mouth in‐ +see!" dentation and makes a noise + clearly not coming from its + "Yes, such wonders!" throat, but somewhere deep + within it, a noise that sounds + The third oneirophant’s deep, gutteral, cosmic, and +mouth is sewn shut so you have earthy. +no idea whether or not it has +an appropriate number of teeth. "ggglllaaaAAAAAR‐ +It is awkwardly fumbling around RRRRRGGGGGGG!!" +with the ankle of the humanoid +boulder but seems incapable of It moves its arm down to‐ +getting a hold of it with its wards the oneirophant in an at‐ +cold slippery hand. It looks tempt to grab it and throw it +frustrated and uncomfortable. back into the lake. + + One of the bobbing dread‐ DOZENS +lights—alerted to your presence +by the commotion—weaves its way The oneirophant slithers around +over to the pier and shines on its belly, grinning up at +brightly in your eyes so that you with its sharp little +you have to squint. pointy teeth and its large wet + eyes. + "hEy dO YoU YoU WaNt tO +SeE A WeIrD TuRtLe?" says the "Come sleep and swim with +dreadlight. "iT’S RiGhT OvEr us!" it hisses at you. "You +hErE, fOlLoW Me. It’s rEaLlY can be like a shark! Sleeping +WeIrD. yOu gOtTa sEe iT." and swimming with one eye open + and—ACK!" + WHAT DO YOU DO? + + KRUNN Meanwhile Glarg is glarg‐ + ing out super hard. As the +Krunn BONKS! one of the oneiro‐ oneirophant tries in vain to +phants that talks to much. grab your ankle, you in turn + wrap your giant rocky fist + GLARG around its entire torso and + lift it up. It hisses and + + + + 5 + + + + + + TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE + + +slither wriggles in your grasp. DOZENS +You squeeze a little too +tightly, and it pops out of Glarg grabs at the dreadlight. +your grasp like a slippery +fish. You comically juggle it "WHoA ThErE BuDdY!" cries +a few times, squeezing and the dreadlight as it dances +shooting it from your fist. away, tantalizingly just out of +Until finally it flops onto the your grasp, luring you closer +pier, and back into the water. and closer to the edge of the + pier. "lEt’s nOt bE So gRaBbY + The remaining oneirophants OkAy bIg gUy? I CaN’T ShOw yOu +make rude faces and wag their tHiS WeIrD TuRtLe iF I’M AlL +fingers at you, disgusted at CaPtUrEd aNd sTuFf! aNd tHaT +your inhospitable behavior. WoUlD Be sAd wOuLdN’T It? FoR +And they too slither off the ThErE To bE ThIs tOtAlLy wEiRd +side of the pier. tUrTlE, aNd nObOdY GeTs tO SeE + It?" + Only the dreadlight re‐ +mains, bobbing up and down in Krunn sees Glarg grasp re‐ +the air. It is a small orb of peatedly at the annoying, bob‐ +light about the size of your bing light. Finally, in‐ +fist. It glows a sulphurous evitably, they overextend them‐ +yellow a couple arm lengths self and start to lose their +away from the pier, hovering balance, teetering on the edge +over the water. of the pier. + + It buzzes as it speaks in And then—KerSPLASH!!—down +a slightly muffled, undulating they go. +voice, "tHeRe’s a tUrTlE OuT +HeRe tHaT Is tOtAlLy wEiRd. Glarg floats like a stone +It’s lIkE, yOu wOuLdN’T EvEn in the water. Which is to say, +bElIeVe iT. yOu’vE GoT To cOmE not at all. A gleeful oneiro‐ +SeE ThIs wEiRd tUrTlE, c’mOn." phant burbles with delight as + you sink past, "Yes! Haha, + Meanwhile, your way for‐ yessssss!", and finally you +ward is still blocked by the come to rest in the mud at the +washed out bridge. bottom of the swamp. + + WHAT DO YOU DO The surface of the water + is only five or six feet out of + GLARG your reach. + +Glarg squints its eye indents You notice that you came +at the the dreadlight. Mistak‐ to rest near a large, smooth, +ing it for a shiny rock, it oblong, patterned stone. And +walks on to the pier in attempt as you watch, the stone opens +to grab it. along its seam and a large, + striped turtle head pokes out + KRUNN and looks at you curiously. + Then a second striped head +Krunn like blinky light too. emerges from the shell! The +Krunn also like turtle. YUM! second head continues to regard +Krunn follows Glarg. you while the first one extends + its neck and experimentally + + + + 6 + + + + + + TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE + + +nibbles on your arm with a gen‐ The round head clambers up +tle bite. to the surface, it becomes + clear that the brown flat hat + WHAT DO YOU DO is in fact the top of the + stubby creature’s head. It is + STUX also apparent that they have no + arms and legs (or at least no +Suddenly you see a rope peirce visible appendages), but it +the surface of the water and manages to wobble closer until +make it’s way to you. You grab it is standing about a war‐ +on to it, and someone starts lock’s arm’s length away. +pulling you out. You notice it +feels too soft to be a rope, "This one is Cremini!" It +and it’s full of knots. beams. "What a wonderful day + for a poolside party!" + As you come out of the wa‐ +ter you see the warlock Stux It turns to the water and +pulling you to shore. That’s begins to blow bubbles along +when you finally see that the the surface of the swamp from +"rope" is actually a series of the top of its head. +brightly colored hankerchiefs +tied together. GLARG + + Stux says: "Guys, I have a Glarg looks at, what it per‐ +confession to make. I didn’t ceives to be, a talking rock. +exactly tell you the whole Glarg picks up Cremini and +truth about myself. You see, I holds it close to its bosom +am a warlock, but I’m a party turn to look down at the lake +warlock. Like kids parties. My and rumbles: +deity is Bozo The Clown. I re‐ +ally do have magic, but it’s "Twaarrrrr‐taaaal" +not the cool or useful kind." + CREMINI + He looks down at his feet. +"I just wanted to feel cool, The talking mushroom rock—or is +like a real adventurer and not it a rock mushroom?—giggles +a 38 year old party entertainer when Glarg picks it up. "You’re +that live’s in his grand‐ very strong!" It exclaims. They +mother’s basement" look downwards at the lake as + well. "Turtles all the way + CREMINI down!" + +"Did someone say magic and par‐ DOZENS +ties?" says a giggling voice +from somewhere under the pier. recap: +A small round head wearing a +flat hat with pops out from the Bloodmoon Gate has +among the algae and rocks to started to open once again and +peer curiously at Stux with harbingers of the Demon Horde +beady black eyes. It smiles have been seen in the Silver +softly at the party warlock. Yonder. Your mission is to re‐ +"Entertainers are cool! Are you cover the Five Artifacts and +holding a party? That’s useful reassemble the Staff of the +for having fun!" Archmage, the legendary weapon + + + + 7 + + + + + + TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE + + +that can seal the demon gate bonk you. Krunn like to party. +forever. You are currently in Krunn sees turtle and licks +the Swamp of Sorrows seeking lips. He decides not to BONK! +the Pinky, guardian of the turtle but to use ancient bar‐ +first artifact. barian turtle charming tech‐ + nique. He starts to play drums + And now: on his club. + + Stux the party warlock CREMINI +fishes Glarg out of the swamp. + From its cozy nook in Glarg’s + Glarg picks up Cremini, arms, Cremini bobs its small +the small agreeable mushroom rock‐y head to the beat of +creature whose rock content is Krunn’s club drums. They send +currently unknown. tiny bubbles floating in the + air towards the turtle with + Krunn assesses the land‐ light popping sounds in sync +scape for potential things to with the rhythm. +bonk. + GLARG + The swamp water bubbles, +froths, and churns. As though Glarg is vibin˜˜ +summoned by the Glarg’s words, +a two‐headed turtle of enormous It feels moved to "sing". +girth breaches the surface. A sound emminated from it that + is reminiscent of an inactive + Its shell is black and volcano trying to sing the A‐B‐ +covered in spiraling geodesic Cs to the beat of the Krunn’s +patterns. Its heads are also drum. +black, and have colorful +stripes that run from behind DOZENS +their eyes along the back of +their heads and necks. The party starts ROCKING OUT. + + You think that if you play It is a total raver! +this right and pacify the tur‐ +tle somehow with your unique Krunn is drumming, Glarg +skills and talents, that it is singing, Cremini is blowing +might ferry you across the bubbles. And Stux the Party +washed out bridge to the other Warlock is doing all kinds of +side. cool party tricks. Making bal‐ + loon animals. They even man‐ + The dreadlight bobs up and aged to produce a small xylo‐ +down excitedly, "oH HeCk yEaH phone from somewhere and are +LoOk aT ThAt tUrTlE! oH MaN It banging out a jaunty melody +iS So wEiRd hAhA! hAhA, with a tiny mallet. +wHeEeEe!" + The giant, two‐headed tur‐ + WHAT DO YOU DO? tle freezes in place. Both + heads regard you, wide‐eyed and + KRUNN silent. And then they both + start bobbing up and down in +Stux even though you party lock time to the music. +I still your friend and won’t + + + + 8 + + + + + + TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE + + + After the performance, the club raised. Ready to BONK it. +giant, obsidian turtle drifts +over to the edge of the pier. GLARG +You climb aboard, and continue +to party hard and rock out as Glarg, is new to being around +the creature happily ferries fleshy lifeforms. It is left +you safely across the swamp. assuming that the gilpins + must’ve gotten carried away + The dreadlight, still bob‐ while playing and fallen apart. +bing up and down in place, It clumsily tries to put one +cries out, "oMg tHaT Is sO back together and wait for it +SiCk! HaHa wHaT A WeIrD TuRtLe! to turn back on. +YoU GuYs aRe tOtAlLy cRaZy!" + CREMINI + You land on the other side +and de‐turtle, climbing out Spotting the toadstools, Crem‐ +onto the slick grass and mud of ini sends out tiny pink bubbles +the far shore. The turtle that land on each toadstool’s +sinks back into the swamp with head in some convoluted pattern +a small smile on each of its that may as well be random were +faces and settles down into the it not for the *blip bloop* +mud for a long nap. sounds. Like a chipmunk’s tune, + with only 8 bits. + You follow the path +through the swamp and eventu‐ DOZENS +ally come to a large‐ish clear‐ +ing. It is a small glade full Cremini blows some tiny pink +of silvery blades of grass. It bubbles and plays some dope +is full of eviscerated gilpins— toadstool chiptune. The toad‐ +small swamp gnomes that kind of stools light up in a neon pas‐ +resemble fish‐like bunny rab‐ tel pattern of bright pinks and +bits; it is kind of unfair how yellows and blues and purples. +cute they are—strewn about in You can’t help but think that +piles and pieces. The center the dreadlight would think this +of the glade is completely is tOtAlLy aWeSoMe. +clean and clear of the gore +that fills the rest of the Glarg puzzles over a few +space. It is empty except for gilpin pieces and clumsily +a circle of small toadstools, tries to assemble them. They +in the center of which sits a end up with a cluster of two or +tiny black cat which looks up three torsos and a few too many +at you with huge round yellow limbs jutting out at odd an‐ +eyes. It mewls pathetically gles. Almost as an after‐ +and rolls on its back. thought they thrust a head into + its center. It is a furry, + WHAT DO YOU DO scaly, rabbity, fishy abomina‐ + tion. They set it down on the + KRUNN ground and make some coaxing, + pleading sounds at it. It +Krunn looks sternly at the cat. sounds like smooth river rocks +"Why you kill all gnome thing? rubbing against each other. +You going to get a BONK for +that. Bad Kitty!" Krunn walks Krunn severely scolds and +toward the black cat with his chastises the very bad kitty! + + + + 9 + + + + + + TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE + + +In reply, it rolls onto its but rhythmically in a repeating +side and does a big pattern of colors. +streeeeeeetch, clawing at the +ground and doing a cute meow‐ WHAT DO YOU DO? +purr. + GLARG + Krunn crosses into the +toadstool circle and the small Glarg is delighted that the +cat leaps to its feet, arches flesh elemental has reanimated! +its back and hisses and spits It looks over its shoulder and +at the sudden intrusion. It is alarmed by the new cal‐ +backs away but doesn’t leave cium/keratin elemental that ap‐ +the circle, and soon it is cor‐ peared out of nowhere. It picks +nered, and Krunn gives it a up Jr, the flesh elemental, and +solid BONK right on the head, puts it in the crook of its +leaving a small gash across the left arm while shifting Crimini +top of its head. It falls to to the right, and slowly backs +the ground in a heap and backs away towards the entrance +doesn’t move. to the grove. + + The toadstools audibly ex‐ CREMINI +hale, and a pinkish cloud of +spores engulf the cat. It "Oops. Should’ve started with a +yowls and jumps up and puffs up demo cut. Hee hee." says Crem‐ +to an enormous size. Its eyes ini from the crook of Glarg’s +bulge. And its warping, twist‐ arm. It emits a few more teeny +ing bones outgrow their fleshy green bubbles towards the toad‐ +enclosure, starting at the stools, just for a few opening +skull where Krunn split it. notes of an adagio to float +When its transformation is com‐ out. A midi playing on air. +plete, a huge skeletal beast +with a mane of black fur across KRUNN +its shoulders stands inside the +mushroom circle. It roars, Wide eyed, Krunn takes a few +baring its long fangs, and steps back. "Krunn sorry for +swipes at Krunn with its sharp BONK. Maybe we can be friends" +boney claws! Kronn says. He reaches into + his belt pouch and pulls out a + The spores waft throughout piece of yarn. "Look kitty I +the glade. A few of them drift have to for you." he says as he +over and land on the flesh dangles it in front of the mon‐ +golem Glarg made of gilpin ster cat. +pieces. They seep into its +skin and its eyes shoot open. DOZENS +It looks around in apparent +confusion, gasps for air, and Krunn entices the skelebeast +moans. It cautiously reaches with a piece of yarn. It stops +out to Glarg with its tangle of and cocks its head to the side. +limbs. "Ma... Ma?" It flops onto its side, and + bats at the end of string with + Crimini notices that—al‐ one big skeletal paw. Its long +though they have stopped making tail swishes back and forth in +music at this point—the toad‐ a wide arc. +stools continue to pulse weakly + + + + 10 + + + + + + TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE + + + Glarg backs up with Jr in disloge the foreign body from +one arm and Cremini in the the chest cavity, which sounds +other. They notice a cylindri‐ a little like: +cal item rattling around inside +the beast’s rib cage. It is ++++++++++[>+>+++>+++ +the size of a small torch, or ++++>++++++++++<<<<‐] +some kind of baton, or maybe a >>>+++.<++.>>‐‐‐.++++ +large rolled up scroll. It ++++++++.<<.>>‐‐‐‐‐.‐ +seems to be made of some kind ‐‐.+++++++++++++.‐‐‐‐ +of a dull silvery metal. ‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐.<<.>>++++++ + +++++++++.‐‐‐‐‐.<<.>> + Cremini blows a few tiny ‐‐‐‐‐‐‐.‐‐‐.+++++++.+ +green bubbles. The toadstools +++.<<.>>+++++++++.‐‐ +bop out a little melody. ‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐.++++++.<<.>> + ‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐.++++ + Jr, the gilpin flesh ele‐ +++.‐‐‐‐‐‐‐.++++++++. +mental, smiles happily and ‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐.+++++++++.++ +groans, and waves their arms ++++.‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐ +around in time with the toad‐ ‐‐‐.+++++++++++.<<.>> +stool song. ‐‐‐‐‐‐.++++++++++++.‐ + ‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐.‐‐‐‐.+++++++ + WHAT DO YOU DO ++.‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐.<<+++++ + +++++++++. + CREMINI + +Following Glarg’s line of +sight, Cremini squints at the +skelekat’s ribs, "Hey, party +people! What’s that inside the +skele? Could it be a treasure +map? Should we ask it for a +looksie?" + + GLARG + + "DRaaagaaaarMArrrrrb?" + + Glarg squints its eye +sockets at the mineral/protein +elemental. It puts Cremini down +gently and then carefully bal‐ +ances Jr on top of his "hat." + + He then starts a +sprint/gallop on all fours, +faster than you might expect a +sentient boulder to move. Its +goal is to climb the elemental +and grab the curly rock trapped +inside. + + It tries to communicate in +one of the common elemental +language that its here to help + + + + 11 + + diff --git a/groff/src/emails.txt b/groff/src/emails.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cee07fa --- /dev/null +++ b/groff/src/emails.txt @@ -0,0 +1,633 @@ +--- +title: "Townies & Taverns" +description: "A silly little role-playing game" +created: 2023-02-13 +updated: 2023-03-25 +--- + +Townies & Taverns is an experimental freeform role-playing game taking place on the `list+town@tilde.town` mailing list (internal only). + +It started when ~mhj asked the following question: + +::: { .pc .mhj } +What are some good play by email games? It would also be cool to do a play by email dungeons and dragons campaign maybe? I dunno how that would work, but yeah... +::: + + +::: { .dm .dozens } +oh snap guess what, it's already happening + +~ + +Defeating the demon hordes and sealing the Bloodmoon Gate was King Ardan's greatest accomplishment. Afterward, he shattered the Staff of the Archmage into five pieces and flung them to the farthest regions of the Silver Yonder to ensure that the foul gate would remain closed forever. + +Each of the five pieces of the staff were entrusted to one of Ardan's most faithful warriors. They developed over the years into five powerful, secretive sects. Together, they are known as the Hand. + +The years that followed the closing of the gate were ones of peace and prosperity. Generations were born and grew old during Ardan's reign. Such was the fey-touched king's lifespan elongated. The terrors of the Demon Plague soon faded into legend. + +Now, fools and villains have meddled where they ought not. And the Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again. Imps, gremlins, and other minor demons---harbingers of the demon horde---have been spotted causing mischief throughout the Yonder. + +The king, now wizened and enfeebled, has assembled his greatest and mightiest adventurers to recover the lost pieces of the Staff of the Archmage. For only its power can save the Silver Yonder from the demon hordes. + +Unfortunately they never came back. + +So now the king's quest has fallen to you! The kingdom's second +greatest and mightiest adventurers! You must not fail! + +~ + +You are at The Famous Shrub, one of the busiest taverns in Woodhome. And tonight is your last night in town before heading into the Flooded Lands to confront the clan of barbarians known as the Pinky and recover the first artifact. + +1. Who are you? + +2. Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky? + +3. What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands? + +4. What evidence have you seen of demonic presence? + +5. How are you spending your last night in Woodhome? +::: + + +::: { .pc .stux } +Oh, sounds like fun! + +1. I am Stux RowHammer, nearly renowned worlock + +2. The Pinky are rumored to have a weapon able to destroy entire +villages. No one's ever seen it or seen proof of it, but it's so +scary that no one's every questions it + +3. None have ever returned to tell what dark beasts stalk that land + +4. I spend it enjoying food and games with my family + + +Did I do that right? +::: + + +::: pc +> 1. Who are you? + +oh! oh dear, i figured we'd met already, but i understand if you didn't se--hey! down here! please watch where you step! gnomes don't have very strong bones you know. my name is tato, the illusion! i enjoy card tricks, and making people disappear + +... + +ME I MEAN. PAY NO HEED TO THE RUMORS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD + +> 2. Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky? + +like my good friend stux mentioned, it is rumo--huh, what do you mean you don't know me either? i've followed you for weeks now + +no matter + +the destruction of entire villages is actually only the second scariest trick this weapon this is proof enough for me, it's just science! but to be fully rigorous, i sought to investigate further + +upon discovering the author and asking where these visions came from, the author replied "hell awaits you for breaking into my house at this hour!", which i believe refers to the coming demonic invasion + +> 5. How are you spending your last night in Woodhome? + +woodhome means a lot to me, so i will check in with all of my friends! + +none of them are much the speaking type, i do not believe any of them have ever spoken a word to me! but their company comforts me nonetheless +::: + + +::: dm +When the world was young, the bountiful earth and the hungry sea fell in love with each other from a distance. The earth would make eyes at the sea, and the sea would bashfully wave. They agreed to meet face to face to consummate their love, and the waters rose up and flooded the land. When the great flood receded, the devastation was total. Great cities were erased. Entire civilizations were wiped out. When they saw what they had done in their carelessness, earth and sea agreed that, though their love may continue to burn, they must never see each other again. + +But see each other they did. Quietly and discreetly, their passions held in check by the fear of losing control once more. + +The Flooded Lands are the last place where earth and sea mingle. Endless bogs, wetlands, swamps, and marshes. Neither the children of the earth nor the children of the sea are entirely at home here. Rather, this is home to those born of the flood. Things made of mud and clay. Slimy, scaley things with and fur and gills. + +Your goal here is to find the Pinky, Ardan's champion, and recover +the first artifact of the archmage. + +Two paths lie ahead of you. + +One is through the Swamp of Sorrows. It is the most direct route and will get you to the Pinky's monastery the quickest. But it is also the most dangerous. For the swamp is full of Dreadlights, Bog Rot, and Oneirophants. + +The more circuitous route is also the safer option. It will take you around the swamp, through the Trollfen, and over Turtle Mound. A longer journey, but one less fraught with danger. + +WHAT DO YOU DO +::: + + +::: { .pc .stux } +I look at the rest of the party + +"What do you all think? I'm no ranger, I don't know much about the wilderness. I'm not afraid to take the quick route, but I also see the wisdom in the more cautious approach". +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +1. Who are you? + + Me Krunn with club who go BONK! + +2. Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky? + + They too have club go BONK! + +3. What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands? + + Big thing with big bite that ouch. + +4. What evidence have you seen of demonic presence? + + Big foot that wide as arms. + +5. How are you spending your last night in Woodhome? + + Eat drink sleep +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +Krunn say go swamp more to thing to BONK. +::: + + +::: dm +The story thus far: you are on a mission to re-assemble the Staff of the Archmage and seal the Bloodmoon Gate to prevent the Demon Horde from sweeping across the Silver Yonder. The first piece of the staff is in the possession of the Pinky somewhere in the Flooded Lands. + +~ + +There is a long footbridge of rotten, moldy, wooden planks that leads out across the fetid water. You follow it into the Swamp of Sorrows. + +The swamp is putrid. Almost nauseatingly smelly. A thick carpet of orange algae undulates with the rippling of the water beneath it. Pockets of swamp gas escape the mud far below and belch noisily when they reach the surface. Clouds of insects float above the water, and nip at you as you pass by. Large swamp trees grow here, with gnarled, twisted roots. Moss and thick vines hang from the branches and block your view. Between the trees, in the distance, you can see sulphurous yellow dreadlights bobbing up and down, just waiting to lure an unwitting traveler out into the waters. + +Just up ahead, a large portion of the bridge has collapsed. About as far across as a wide road. You look down and see five or eight emaciated, milky white bodies floating suspended in the water below you. Their eyes are closed and their skin is pulled taught across their bones. Their hair spreads out like a halo around their heads. These are Oneirophants, slumbering prisoners of the swamp. If you're lucky, they won't bother you. If you disturb their slumber though, +they may try to pull you down into the swamp to join them. + +WHAT DO YOU DO? +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +A few paces left of the entrance to the collapsed bridge is what appears to be a boulder with an arm sticking out the side of it. It seems to give off a very faint hum. +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +Tell Stux and little gnome to stand back. Krunn will roll boulder cause Krunn strong. +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +As you study the boulder you notice the arm protruding from it is made of the same burnt umber stone as the rest of the boulder... peculiar because the ground around it is... well, swamp coloured. + +The boulder begins to visibly vibrate. At first faint, but then as if a stampeed of horses was going on around it. +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +Stux what we do ? It might be woo woo magic. Krunn slowly backs away waiting for Stux or the gnomes reply. +::: + + +::: { .pc .stux } +Hmmmm... Something strange is going on here. I'm going to put on my sunglasses of true sight and see if anything becomes obvious. +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +Through the sunglasses you can see the outline of a large bulky humanoid curled up into a tight ball with its arm sticking out. + +All of a sudden, with a loud, deep crack, the leg dislodges itself from the ball and starts kicking the ground. Now the boulder is rocking back-and-forth in place with the leg kicking the ground when it gets close. +::: + + +::: { .pc .stux } +"Hey Krunn, its BONKING TIME! Somtimes you gotta BONK first and ask questions when they regain conscienceness" +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +With a solemn nod to Stux, Krunn raises his club over his head with both hands and runs at the rock. BONK! +::: + + +::: dm +While Stux and Krunn were fussing around with the leggy one-armed +boulder, you inadvertently attracted the attention of the swamp's +least desirable denizens. + +Three oneirophants---the lanky, clammy, pale drowned creatures who +sleep at the bottom of the swamp---have crawled up onto the pier. +They slither around on their bellies grinning and grabbing at your +ankles. + +"Come swim with us!" says the one with no teeth. + +"Yes, come sleep under water!" agrees the one with far too many +teeth. + +"Such sights you will see!" + +"Yes, such wonders!" + +The third oneirophant's mouth is sewn shut so you have no idea whether or not it has an appropriate number of teeth. It is awkwardly fumbling around with the ankle of the humanoid boulder but seems incapable of getting a hold of it with its cold slippery hand. It looks frustrated and uncomfortable. + +One of the bobbing dreadlights---alerted to your presence by the commotion---weaves its way over to the pier and shines brightly in your eyes so that you have to squint. + +"hEy dO YoU YoU WaNt tO SeE A WeIrD TuRtLe?" says the dreadlight. "iT'S RiGhT OvEr hErE, fOlLoW Me. It's rEaLlY WeIrD. yOu gOtTa sEe iT." + +WHAT DO YOU DO? +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +Krunn BONKS! one of the oneirophants that talks to much. +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +After Krunn BONKS the boulder, its shaking slows to a rumble and then stops. Then **CRACK**; a squat hemisphere pops out of the top of the boulder. The hemisphere rotates 180 degrees. As the... head?... completes its rotation, what appears to be crude facial feature become visible, like a sculpter was making the rough draft of a head in clay. + +**CRACK** another arm pops out of the side of the boulder. Now the fingers on the hand of the first arm are starting to move. The boulder rocks back and forth, pivoting around where it's fourth leg should be. + +The mass suddenly stops wiggling as the oneirophants start talking. It then looks at one clawing at its leg. It bends over at the middle forming a waist until its head is about a foot from the dreadlights. It opens its mouth indentation and makes a noise clearly not coming from its throat, but somewhere deep within it, a noise that sounds deep, gutteral, cosmic, and earthy. + +"ggglllaaaAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!" + +It moves its arm down towards the oneirophant in an attempt to grab it and throw it back into the lake. +::: + + +::: dm +The oneirophant slithers around on its belly, grinning up at you with its sharp little pointy teeth and its large wet eyes. + +"Come sleep and swim with us!" it hisses at you. "You can be like a shark! Sleeping and swimming with one eye open and---ACK!" + +Krunn BONKS the talkative oneirophant right on its noggin. Its skull makes a squishy sound and flattens---ejecting a surprising amount of water---and slowly, slowly returns to its normal shape like a sponge. It looks up at Krunn, insulted and cross-eyed and kind of lopsided, and slinks away off the side of the pier and back into the swamp with a plop. + +Meanwhile Glarg is glarging out super hard. As the oneirophant tries in vain to grab your ankle, you in turn wrap your giant rocky fist around its entire torso and lift it up. It hisses and slither wriggles in your grasp. You squeeze a little too tightly, and it pops out of your grasp like a slippery fish. You comically juggle it a few times, squeezing and shooting it from your fist. Until finally it flops onto the pier, and back into the water. + +The remaining oneirophants make rude faces and wag their fingers at you, disgusted at your inhospitable behavior. And they too slither off the side of the pier. + +Only the dreadlight remains, bobbing up and down in the air. It is a small orb of light about the size of your fist. It glows a sulphurous yellow a couple arm lengths away from the pier, hovering over the water. + +It buzzes as it speaks in a slightly muffled, undulating voice, "tHeRe's a tUrTlE OuT HeRe tHaT Is tOtAlLy wEiRd. It's lIkE, yOu wOuLdN'T EvEn bElIeVe iT. yOu'vE GoT To cOmE SeE ThIs wEiRd tUrTlE, c'mOn." + +Meanwhile, your way forward is still blocked by the washed out bridge. + +WHAT DO YOU DO +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +Glarg squints its eye indents at the the dreadlight. Mistaking it for a shiny rock, it walks on to the pier in attempt to grab it. +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +Krunn like blinky light too. Krunn also like turtle. YUM! Krunn follows +Glarg. +::: + + +::: dm +Glarg grabs at the dreadlight. + +"WHoA ThErE BuDdY!" cries the dreadlight as it dances away, +tantalizingly just out of your grasp, luring you closer and closer to +the edge of the pier. "lEt's nOt bE So gRaBbY OkAy bIg gUy? I CaN'T +ShOw yOu tHiS WeIrD TuRtLe iF I'M AlL CaPtUrEd aNd sTuFf! aNd tHaT +WoUlD Be sAd wOuLdN'T It? FoR ThErE To bE ThIs tOtAlLy wEiRd tUrTlE, +aNd nObOdY GeTs tO SeE It?" + +Krunn sees Glarg grasp repeatedly at the annoying, bobbing light. +Finally, inevitably, they overextend themself and start to lose their +balance, teetering on the edge of the pier. + +And then--KerSPLASH!!--down they go. + +Glarg floats like a stone in the water. Which is to say, not at all. +A gleeful oneirophant burbles with delight as you sink past, +"Yes! Haha, yessssss!", and finally you come to rest in the mud at +the bottom of the swamp. + +The surface of the water is only five or six feet out of your reach. + +You notice that you came to rest near a large, smooth, oblong, +patterned stone. And as you watch, the stone opens along its seam +and a large, striped turtle head pokes out and looks at you +curiously. Then a second striped head emerges from the shell! The +second head continues to regard you while the first one extends its +neck and experimentally nibbles on your arm with a gentle bite. + +WHAT DO YOU DO +::: + + + +::: { .pc .stux } +Suddenly you see a rope peirce the surface of the water and make it's way to +you. You grab on to it, and someone starts pulling you out. You notice it +feels too soft to be a rope, and it's full of knots. + +As you come out of the water you see the warlock Stux pulling you to shore. +That's when you finally see that the "rope" is actually a series of brightly +colored hankerchiefs tied together. + +Stux says: +"Guys, I have a confession to make. I didn't exactly tell you the whole truth +about myself. You see, I am a warlock, but I'm a party warlock. Like kids +parties. My deity is Bozo The Clown. I really do have magic, but it's not the +cool or useful kind." + +He looks down at his feet. +"I just wanted to feel cool, like a real adventurer and not a 38 year old +party entertainer that live's in his grandmother's basement" +::: + + + +::: { .pc .cremini } +"Did someone say magic and parties?" says a giggling voice from somewhere under +the pier. A small round head wearing a flat hat with pops out from among the +algae and rocks to peer curiously at Stux with beady black eyes. It smiles +softly at the party warlock. "Entertainers are cool! Are you holding a party? +That's useful for having fun!" + +The round head clambers up to the surface, it becomes clear that the brown flat +hat is in fact the top of the stubby creature's head. It is also apparent that +they have no arms and legs (or at least no visible appendages), but it manages +to wobble closer until it is standing about a warlock's arm's length away. + +"This one is Cremini!" It beams. "What a wonderful day for a poolside party!" + +It turns to the water and begins to blow bubbles along the surface of the +swamp from the top of its head. +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +Glarg looks at, what it perceives to be, a talking rock. Glarg picks up +Cremini and holds it close to its bosom turn to look down at the lake +and rumbles: + +"Twaarrrrr-taaaal" +::: + + +::: { .pc .cremini } +The talking mushroom rock — or is it a rock mushroom? — giggles when Glarg +picks it up. "You're very strong!" It exclaims. They look downwards at the +lake as well. "Turtles all the way down!" +::: + + +::: dm +recap: + +the Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again and harbingers of +the Demon Horde have been seen in the Silver Yonder. Your mission is +to recover the Five Artifacts and reassemble the Staff of the +Archmage, the legendary weapon that can seal the demon gate forever. +You are currently in the Swamp of Sorrows seeking the Pinky, guardian +of the first artifact. + +And now: + +Stux the party warlock fishes Glarg out of the swamp. + +Glarg picks up Cremini, the small agreeable mushroom creature whose +rock content is currently unknown. + +Krunn assesses the landscape for potential things to bonk. + +The swamp water bubbles, froths, and churns. As though summoned by +the Glarg's words, a two-headed turtle of enormous girth breaches the +surface. + +Its shell is black and covered in spiraling geodesic patterns. Its +heads are also black, and have colorful stripes that run from behind +their eyes along the back of their heads and necks. + +You think that if you play this right and pacify the turtle somehow +with your unique skills and talents, that it might ferry you across +the washed out bridge to the other side. + +The dreadlight bobs up and down excitedly, "oH HeCk yEaH LoOk aT +ThAt tUrTlE! oH MaN It iS So wEiRd hAhA! hAhA, wHeEeEe!" + +WHAT DO YOU DO? +::: + + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +Stux even though you party lock I still your friend and won't bonk you. Krunn +like to party. Krunn sees turtle and licks lips. He decides not to BONK! +turtle but to use ancient barbarian turtle charming technique. He starts to +play drums on his club. +::: + + +::: { .pc .cremini } +From its cozy nook in Glarg's arms, Cremini bobs its small rock-y head to the +beat of Krunn's club drums. They send tiny bubbles floating in the air towards +the turtle with light popping sounds in sync with the rhythm. +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +Glarg is vibin~~ + +It feels moved to "sing". A sound emminated from it that is reminiscent +of an inactive volcano trying to sing the A-B-Cs to the beat of the +Krunn's drum. +::: + + +::: dm +The party starts ROCKING OUT. + +It is a total raver! + +Krunn is drumming, Glarg is singing, Cremini is blowing bubbles. And +Stux the Party Warlock is doing all kinds of cool party tricks. +Making balloon animals. They even managed to produce a small +xylophone from somewhere and are banging out a jaunty melody with a +tiny mallet. + +The giant, two-headed turtle freezes in place. Both heads regard +you, wide-eyed and silent. And then they both start bobbing up and +down in time to the music. + +After the performance, the giant, obsidian turtle drifts over to the +edge of the pier. You climb aboard, and continue to party hard and +rock out as the creature happily ferries you safely across the swamp. + +The dreadlight, still bobbing up and down in place, cries out, "oMg +tHaT Is sO SiCk! HaHa wHaT A WeIrD TuRtLe! YoU GuYs aRe tOtAlLy +cRaZy!" + +You land on the other side and de-turtle, climbing out onto the slick +grass and mud of the far shore. The turtle sinks back into the swamp +with a small smile on each of its faces and settles down into the mud +for a long nap. + +You follow the path through the swamp and eventually come to a +large-ish clearing. It is a small glade full of silvery blades of +grass. It is full of eviscerated gilpins---small swamp gnomes that +kind of resemble fish-like bunny rabbits; it is kind of unfair how +cute they are---strewn about in piles and pieces. The center of the +glade is completely clean and clear of the gore that fills the rest +of the space. It is empty except for a circle of small toadstools, +in the center of which sits a tiny black cat which looks up at you +with huge round yellow eyes. It mewls pathetically and rolls on its +back. + +WHAT DO YOU DO +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +Krunn looks sternly at the cat. "Why you kill all gnome thing? You going to +get a BONK for that. Bad Kitty!" Krunn walks toward the black cat with his +club raised. Ready to BONK it. +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +Glarg, is new to being around fleshy lifeforms. It is left assuming that +the gilpins must've gotten carried away while playing and fallen apart. +It clumsily tries to put one back together and wait for it to turn back +on. +::: + + +::: { .pc .cremini } +Spotting the toadstools, Cremini sends out tiny pink bubbles that land on each +toadstool's head in some convoluted pattern that may as well be random were it +not for the *blip bloop* sounds. Like a chipmunk's tune, with only 8 bits. +::: + + +::: dm +Cremini blows some tiny pink bubbles and plays some dope toadstool +chiptune. The toadstools light up in a neon pastel pattern of bright +pinks and yellows and blues and purples. You can't help but think +that the dreadlight would think this is tOtAlLy aWeSoMe. + +Glarg puzzles over a few gilpin pieces and clumsily tries to assemble +them. They end up with a cluster of two or three torsos and a few +too many limbs jutting out at odd angles. Almost as an afterthought +they thrust a head into its center. It is a furry, scaly, rabbity, +fishy abomination. They set it down on the ground and make some +coaxing, pleading sounds at it. It sounds like smooth river rocks +rubbing against each other. + +Krunn severely scolds and chastises the very bad kitty! In reply, it +rolls onto its side and does a big streeeeeeetch, clawing at the +ground and doing a cute meow-purr. + +Krunn crosses into the toadstool circle and the small cat leaps to +its feet, arches its back and hisses and spits at the sudden +intrusion. It backs away but doesn't leave the circle, and soon it +is cornered, and Krunn gives it a solid BONK right on the head, +leaving a small gash across the top of its head. It falls to the +ground in a heap and doesn't move. + +The toadstools audibly exhale, and a pinkish cloud of spores engulf +the cat. It yowls and jumps up and puffs up to an enormous size. +Its eyes bulge. And its warping, twisting bones outgrow their fleshy +enclosure, starting at the skull where Krunn split it. When its +transformation is complete, a huge skeletal beast with a mane of +black fur across its shoulders stands inside the mushroom circle. It +roars, baring its long fangs, and swipes at Krunn with its sharp +boney claws! + +The spores waft throughout the glade. A few of them drift over and +land on the flesh golem Glarg made of gilpin pieces. They seep into +its skin and its eyes shoot open. It looks around in apparent +confusion, gasps for air, and moans. It cautiously reaches out to +Glarg with its tangle of limbs. "Ma... Ma?" + +Crimini notices that---although they have stopped making music at +this point---the toadstools continue to pulse weakly but rhythmically +in a repeating pattern of colors. + +WHAT DO YOU DO? +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +Glarg is delighted that the flesh elemental has reanimated! It looks +over its shoulder and is alarmed by the new calcium/keratin elemental that +appeared out of nowhere. It picks up Jr, the flesh elemental, and puts +it in the crook of its left arm while shifting Crimini to the right, and +slowly backs backs away towards the entrance to the grove. +::: + + +::: { .pc .cremini } +"Oops. Should've started with a demo cut. Hee hee." says Cremini from the crook +of Glarg's arm. It emits a few more teeny green bubbles towards the toadstools, +just for a few opening notes of an adagio to float out. A midi playing on air. +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +Wide eyed, Krunn takes a few steps back. "Krunn sorry for BONK. Maybe we +can be friends" Kronn says. He reaches into his belt pouch and pulls out a +piece of yarn. "Look kitty I have to for you." he says as he dangles it in +front of the monster cat. +::: + + +::: dm +Krunn entices the skelebeast with a piece of yarn. It stops and +cocks its head to the side. It flops onto its side, and bats at the +end of string with one big skeletal paw. Its long tail swishes back +and forth in a wide arc. + +Glarg backs up with Jr in one arm and Cremini in the other. They +notice a cylindrical item rattling around inside the beast's rib +cage. It is the size of a small torch, or some kind of baton, or +maybe a large rolled up scroll. It seems to be made of some kind of +a dull silvery metal. + +Cremini blows a few tiny green bubbles. The toadstools bop out a +little melody. + +Jr, the gilpin flesh elemental, smiles happily and groans, and waves +their arms around in time with the toadstool song. + +WHAT DO YOU DO +::: + +::: date +Wed, Apr 12 at 8:13 PM +::: + +::: { .pc .cremini } +Following Glarg's line of sight, Cremini squints at the skelekat's ribs, "Hey, +party people! What's that inside the skele? Could it be a treasure map? Should +we ask it for a looksie?" +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } + "DRaaagaaaarMArrrrrb?" + +Glarg squints its eye sockets at the mineral/protein elemental. It puts +Cremini down gently and then carefully balances Jr on top of his "hat." + +He then starts a sprint/gallop on all fours, faster than you might +expect a sentient boulder to move. Its goal is to climb the elemental +and grab the curly rock trapped inside. + +It tries to communicate in one of the common elemental language that its +here to help disloge the foreign body from the chest cavity, which +sounds a little like: + +``` +++++++++++[>+>+++>+++++++>++++++++++<<<<-]>>>+++.<++.>>---.++++++++++++.<<.>>-----.---.+++++++++++++.-------------.<<.>>+++++++++++++++.-----.<<.>>-------.---.+++++++.++++.<<.>>+++++++++.----------.++++++.<<.>>----------------.+++++++.-------.++++++++.--------.+++++++++.++++++.-------------------.+++++++++++.<<.>>------.++++++++++++.---------.----.+++++++++.----------.<<++++++++++++++. +``` +::: diff --git a/groff/src/story.ms b/groff/src/story.ms new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9c11525 --- /dev/null +++ b/groff/src/story.ms @@ -0,0 +1,717 @@ +.ds TITLE TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE +.ds AUTHOR dozens and the tilde.town players +.ds DESC A silly little role-playing game +.ds CREATED 2023-02-13 +.ds UPDATED 2023-03-25 +. +. +. +.P1 1 +.PI 0v +.OH ''\*[TITLE] +.EH ''\*[TITLE] +.OF ''% +.EF ''% +. +. +. +.de Heading +.sp +.ce 1 +.B \\$* +.XS +\\$* +.XE +.. +. +. +.RP no +.TL +\*[TITLE] +.AU +\*[AUTHOR] +.AI +dozens@tilde.team +.AB no +.LP +.I "Townies & Taverns" +is an +unfinished experimental freeform role-playing game +that took place in the spring of 2023 +on the internal +.CW +list+town@tilde.town +.R +mailing list. +.LP +It all started when ~mhj asked the following question: +.QS +.I +What are some good play by email games? +It would also be cool to do a play by email dungeons and dragons campaign maybe? +I dunno how that would work, but yeah... +.R +\*[-]mhj +.QE +.LP +What follows is the answer to that question. +.AE +.ND 2023-09-26 +. +. +. +.2C +. +. +. +.Heading DOZENS +.LP +Defeating the demon hordes and sealing the Bloodmoon Gate was King +Ardan's greatest accomplishment. Afterward, he shattered the Staff of +the Archmage into five pieces and flung them to the farthest regions +of the Silver Yonder to ensure that the foul gate would remain closed +forever. +.PP +Each of the five pieces of the staff were entrusted to one of Ardan's +most faithful warriors. They developed over the years into five +powerful, secretive sects. Together, they are known as the Hand. +.PP +The years that followed the closing of the gate were ones of peace +and prosperity. Generations were born and grew old during Ardan's +reign. Such was the fey-touched king's lifespan elongated. The +terrors of the Demon Plague soon faded into legend. +.PP +Now, fools and villains have meddled where they ought not. And the Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again. Imps, gremlins, and other minor demons\*[-]harbingers of the demon horde\*[-]have been spotted causing mischief throughout the Yonder. +.PP +The king, now wizened and enfeebled, has assembled his greatest and mightiest adventurers to recover the lost pieces of the Staff of the Archmage. For only its power can save the Silver Yonder from the demon hordes. +.PP +Unfortunately they never came back. +.PP +So now the king's quest has fallen to you! The kingdom's second +greatest and mightiest adventurers! You must not fail! +.PP +You are at The Famous Shrub, one of the busiest taverns in Woodhome. And tonight is your last night in town before heading into the Flooded Lands to confront the clan of barbarians known as the Pinky and recover the first artifact. +.IP 1. 3n +Who are you? +.IP 2. +Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky? +.IP 3. +What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands? +.IP 4. +What evidence have you seen of demonic presence? +.IP 5. +How are you spending your last night in Woodhome? +.PI +. +. +. +.Heading STUX +.LP +Oh, sounds like fun! +.PP +.IP 1. 3n +I am Stux RowHammer, nearly renowned worlock +.IP 2. +The Pinky are rumored to have a weapon able to destroy entire +villages. No one's ever seen it or seen proof of it, but it's so +scary that no one's every questions it +.IP 3. +None have ever returned to tell what dark beasts stalk that land +.IP 4. +I spend it enjoying food and games with my family +.LP +Did I do that right? +. +. +. +.Heading MHJ +.IP 1. 3n +Who are you? +.PP +oh! oh dear, i figured we'd met already, but i understand if you didn't se\*[-]hey! down here! please watch where you step! gnomes don't have very strong bones you know. my name is tato, the illusion! i enjoy card tricks, and making people disappear +.PP +ME I MEAN. PAY NO HEED TO THE RUMORS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD +.IP 2. 3n +Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky? +.PP +like my good friend stux mentioned, it is rumo\*[-]huh, what do you mean you don't know me either? i've followed you for weeks now +.PP +no matter +.PP +the destruction of entire villages is actually only the second scariest trick this weapon this is proof enough for me, it's just science! but to be fully rigorous, i sought to investigate further +.PP +upon discovering the author and asking where these visions came from, the author replied "hell awaits you for breaking into my house at this hour!", which i believe refers to the coming demonic invasion +.PI 5. 3n +How are you spending your last night in Woodhome? +.PP +woodhome means a lot to me, so i will check in with all of my friends! +.PP +none of them are much the speaking type, i do not believe any of them have ever spoken a word to me! but their company comforts me nonetheless +. +. +. +.Heading DOZENS +.LP +When the world was young, the bountiful earth and the hungry sea fell in love with each other from a distance. The earth would make eyes at the sea, and the sea would bashfully wave. They agreed to meet face to face to consummate their love, and the waters rose up and flooded the land. When the great flood receded, the devastation was total. Great cities were erased. Entire civilizations were wiped out. When they saw what they had done in their carelessness, earth and sea agreed that, though their love may continue to burn, they must never see each other again. +.PP +But see each other they did. Quietly and discreetly, their passions held in check by the fear of losing control once more. +.PP +The Flooded Lands are the last place where earth and sea mingle. Endless bogs, wetlands, swamps, and marshes. Neither the children of the earth nor the children of the sea are entirely at home here. Rather, this is home to those born of the flood. Things made of mud and clay. Slimy, scaley things with and fur and gills. +.PP +Your goal here is to find the Pinky, Ardan's champion, and recover +the first artifact of the archmage. +.PP +Two paths lie ahead of you. +.PP +One is through the Swamp of Sorrows. It is the most direct route and will get you to the Pinky's monastery the quickest. But it is also the most dangerous. For the swamp is full of Dreadlights, Bog Rot, and Oneirophants. +.PP +The more circuitous route is also the safer option. It will take you around the swamp, through the Trollfen, and over Turtle Mound. A longer journey, but one less fraught with danger. +.PP +WHAT DO YOU DO +. +. +. +.Heading STUX +.LP +I look at the rest of the party +.PP +"What do you all think? I'm no ranger, I don't know much about the wilderness. I'm not afraid to take the quick route, but I also see the wisdom in the more cautious approach". +. +. +. +.Heading KRUNN +.IP 1. 3n +Who are you? +.PP +Me Krunn with club who go BONK! +.IP 2. 3n +Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky? +.PP +They too have club go BONK! +.IP 3. 3n +What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands? +.PP +Big thing with big bite that ouch. +.IP 4. 3n +What evidence have you seen of demonic presence? +.PP +Big foot that wide as arms. +.IP 5. 3n +How are you spending your last night in Woodhome? +.PP +Eat drink sleep +. +. +. +.Heading KRUNN +.LP +Krunn say go swamp more to thing to BONK. +. +. +. +.Heading DOZENS +.LP +The story thus far: you are on a mission to re-assemble the Staff of +the Archmage and seal the Bloodmoon Gate to prevent the Demon Horde +from sweeping across the Silver Yonder. The first piece of the staff +is in the possession of the Pinky somewhere in the Flooded Lands. +.PP +There is a long footbridge of rotten, moldy, wooden planks that leads +out across the fetid water. You follow it into the Swamp of Sorrows. +.PP +The swamp is putrid. Almost nauseatingly smelly. A thick carpet of orange algae undulates with the rippling of the water beneath it. Pockets of swamp gas escape the mud far below and belch noisily when they reach the surface. Clouds of insects float above the water, and nip at you as you pass by. Large swamp trees grow here, with gnarled, twisted roots. Moss and thick vines hang from the branches and block your view. Between the trees, in the distance, you can see sulphurous yellow dreadlights bobbing up and down, just waiting to lure an unwitting traveler out into the waters. +.PP +Just up ahead, a large portion of the bridge has collapsed. About as far across as a wide road. You look down and see five or eight emaciated, milky white bodies floating suspended in the water below you. Their eyes are closed and their skin is pulled taught across their bones. Their hair spreads out like a halo around their heads. These are Oneirophants, slumbering prisoners of the swamp. If you're lucky, they won't bother you. If you disturb their slumber though, +they may try to pull you down into the swamp to join them. +.PP +WHAT DO YOU DO? +. +. +. +.Heading GLARG +.LP +A few paces left of the entrance to the collapsed bridge is what appears to be a boulder with an arm sticking out the side of it. It seems to give off a very faint hum. +. +. +. +.Heading KRUNN +.LP +Tell Stux and little gnome to stand back. Krunn will roll boulder cause Krunn strong. +. +. +. +.Heading GLARG +.LP +As you study the boulder you notice the arm protruding from it is made of the same burnt umber stone as the rest of the boulder... peculiar because the ground around it is... well, swamp coloured. +.PP +The boulder begins to visibly vibrate. At first faint, but then as if a stampeed of horses was going on around it. +. +. +. +.Heading KRUNN +.LP +Stux what we do ? It might be woo woo magic. Krunn slowly backs away waiting for Stux or the gnomes reply. +. +. +. +.KS +.Heading STUX +.LP +Hmmmm... Something strange is going on here. I'm going to put on my sunglasses of true sight and see if anything becomes obvious. +.KE +. +. +. +.Heading GLARG +.LP +Through the sunglasses you can see the outline of a large bulky humanoid curled up into a tight ball with its arm sticking out. +.PP +All of a sudden, with a loud, deep crack, the leg dislodges itself from the ball and starts kicking the ground. Now the boulder is rocking back-and-forth in place with the leg kicking the ground when it gets close. +. +. +. +.Heading STUX +.LP +"Hey Krunn, its BONKING TIME! Somtimes you gotta BONK first and ask questions when they regain conscienceness" +. +. +. +.Heading KRUNN +.LP +With a solemn nod to Stux, Krunn raises his club over his head with both hands and runs at the rock. BONK! +. +. +. +.Heading DOZENS +.LP +While Stux and Krunn were fussing around with the leggy one-armed +boulder, you inadvertently attracted the attention of the swamp's +least desirable denizens. +.PP +Three oneirophants\*[-]the lanky, clammy, pale drowned creatures who +sleep at the bottom of the swamp\*[-]have crawled up onto the pier. +They slither around on their bellies grinning and grabbing at your +ankles. +.PP +"Come swim with us!" says the one with no teeth. +.PP +"Yes, come sleep under water!" agrees the one with far too many +teeth. +.PP +"Such sights you will see!" +.PP +"Yes, such wonders!" +.PP +The third oneirophant's mouth is sewn shut so you have no idea whether or not it has an appropriate number of teeth. It is awkwardly fumbling around with the ankle of the humanoid boulder but seems incapable of getting a hold of it with its cold slippery hand. It looks frustrated and uncomfortable. +.PP +One of the bobbing dreadlights\*[-]alerted to your presence by the commotion\*[-]weaves its way over to the pier and shines brightly in your eyes so that you have to squint. +.PP +"hEy dO YoU YoU WaNt tO SeE A WeIrD TuRtLe?" says the dreadlight. "iT'S RiGhT OvEr hErE, fOlLoW Me. It's rEaLlY WeIrD. yOu gOtTa sEe iT." +.PP +WHAT DO YOU DO? +. +. +. +.Heading KRUNN +.LP +Krunn BONKS! one of the oneirophants that talks to much. +. +. +. +.Heading GLARG +.LP +.PP +**CRACK** another arm pops out of the side of the boulder. Now the fingers on the hand of the first arm are starting to move. The boulder rocks back and forth, pivoting around where it's fourth leg should be. +.PP +The mass suddenly stops wiggling as the oneirophants start talking. It then looks at one clawing at its leg. It bends over at the middle forming a waist until its head is about a foot from the dreadlights. It opens its mouth indentation and makes a noise clearly not coming from its throat, but somewhere deep within it, a noise that sounds deep, gutteral, cosmic, and earthy. +.PP +"ggglllaaaAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!" +.PP +It moves its arm down towards the oneirophant in an attempt to grab it and throw it back into the lake. +. +. +. +.Heading DOZENS +.LP +The oneirophant slithers around on its belly, grinning up at you with its sharp little pointy teeth and its large wet eyes. +.PP +"Come sleep and swim with us!" it hisses at you. "You can be like a shark! Sleeping and swimming with one eye open and\*[-]ACK!" +.PP +.PP +Meanwhile Glarg is glarging out super hard. As the oneirophant tries in vain to grab your ankle, you in turn wrap your giant rocky fist around its entire torso and lift it up. It hisses and slither wriggles in your grasp. You squeeze a little too tightly, and it pops out of your grasp like a slippery fish. You comically juggle it a few times, squeezing and shooting it from your fist. Until finally it flops onto the pier, and back into the water. +.PP +The remaining oneirophants make rude faces and wag their fingers at you, disgusted at your inhospitable behavior. And they too slither off the side of the pier. +.PP +Only the dreadlight remains, bobbing up and down in the air. It is a small orb of light about the size of your fist. It glows a sulphurous yellow a couple arm lengths away from the pier, hovering over the water. +.PP +It buzzes as it speaks in a slightly muffled, undulating voice, "tHeRe's a tUrTlE OuT HeRe tHaT Is tOtAlLy wEiRd. It's lIkE, yOu wOuLdN'T EvEn bElIeVe iT. yOu'vE GoT To cOmE SeE ThIs wEiRd tUrTlE, c'mOn." +.PP +Meanwhile, your way forward is still blocked by the washed out bridge. +.PP +WHAT DO YOU DO +. +. +. +.Heading GLARG +.LP +Glarg squints its eye indents at the the dreadlight. Mistaking it for a shiny rock, it walks on to the pier in attempt to grab it. +. +. +. +.Heading KRUNN +.LP +Krunn like blinky light too. Krunn also like turtle. YUM! Krunn follows +Glarg. +. +. +. +.Heading DOZENS +.LP +Glarg grabs at the dreadlight. +.PP +"WHoA ThErE BuDdY!" cries the dreadlight as it dances away, +tantalizingly just out of your grasp, luring you closer and closer to +the edge of the pier. "lEt's nOt bE So gRaBbY OkAy bIg gUy? I CaN'T +ShOw yOu tHiS WeIrD TuRtLe iF I'M AlL CaPtUrEd aNd sTuFf! aNd tHaT +WoUlD Be sAd wOuLdN'T It? FoR ThErE To bE ThIs tOtAlLy wEiRd tUrTlE, +aNd nObOdY GeTs tO SeE It?" +.PP +Krunn sees Glarg grasp repeatedly at the annoying, bobbing light. +Finally, inevitably, they overextend themself and start to lose their +balance, teetering on the edge of the pier. +.PP +And then\*[-]KerSPLASH!!\*[-]down they go. +.PP +Glarg floats like a stone in the water. Which is to say, not at all. +A gleeful oneirophant burbles with delight as you sink past, +"Yes! Haha, yessssss!", and finally you come to rest in the mud at +the bottom of the swamp. +.PP +The surface of the water is only five or six feet out of your reach. +.PP +You notice that you came to rest near a large, smooth, oblong, +patterned stone. And as you watch, the stone opens along its seam +and a large, striped turtle head pokes out and looks at you +curiously. Then a second striped head emerges from the shell! The +second head continues to regard you while the first one extends its +neck and experimentally nibbles on your arm with a gentle bite. +.PP +WHAT DO YOU DO +. +. +. +.Heading STUX +.LP +Suddenly you see a rope peirce the surface of the water and make it's way to +you. You grab on to it, and someone starts pulling you out. You notice it +feels too soft to be a rope, and it's full of knots. +.PP +As you come out of the water you see the warlock Stux pulling you to shore. +That's when you finally see that the "rope" is actually a series of brightly +colored hankerchiefs tied together. +.PP +Stux says: +"Guys, I have a confession to make. I didn't exactly tell you the whole truth +about myself. You see, I am a warlock, but I'm a party warlock. Like kids +parties. My deity is Bozo The Clown. I really do have magic, but it's not the +cool or useful kind." +.PP +He looks down at his feet. +"I just wanted to feel cool, like a real adventurer and not a 38 year old +party entertainer that live's in his grandmother's basement" +. +. +. +.Heading CREMINI +.LP +"Did someone say magic and parties?" says a giggling voice from somewhere under +the pier. A small round head wearing a flat hat with pops out from among the +algae and rocks to peer curiously at Stux with beady black eyes. It smiles +softly at the party warlock. "Entertainers are cool! Are you holding a party? +That's useful for having fun!" +.PP +The round head clambers up to the surface, it becomes clear that the brown flat +hat is in fact the top of the stubby creature's head. It is also apparent that +they have no arms and legs (or at least no visible appendages), but it manages +to wobble closer until it is standing about a warlock's arm's length away. +.PP +"This one is Cremini!" It beams. "What a wonderful day for a poolside party!" +.PP +It turns to the water and begins to blow bubbles along the surface of the +swamp from the top of its head. +. +. +. +.Heading GLARG +.LP +Glarg looks at, what it perceives to be, a talking rock. Glarg picks up +Cremini and holds it close to its bosom turn to look down at the lake +and rumbles: +.PP +"Twaarrrrr-taaaal" +. +. +. +.Heading CREMINI +.LP +The talking mushroom rock\*[-]or is it a rock mushroom?\*[-]giggles when Glarg +picks it up. "You're very strong!" It exclaims. They look downwards at the +lake as well. "Turtles all the way down!" +. +. +. +.Heading DOZENS +.LP +recap: +.PP +the Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again and harbingers of +the Demon Horde have been seen in the Silver Yonder. Your mission is +to recover the Five Artifacts and reassemble the Staff of the +Archmage, the legendary weapon that can seal the demon gate forever. +You are currently in the Swamp of Sorrows seeking the Pinky, guardian +of the first artifact. +.PP +And now: +.PP +Stux the party warlock fishes Glarg out of the swamp. +.PP +Glarg picks up Cremini, the small agreeable mushroom creature whose +rock content is currently unknown. +.PP +Krunn assesses the landscape for potential things to bonk. +.PP +The swamp water bubbles, froths, and churns. As though summoned by +the Glarg's words, a two-headed turtle of enormous girth breaches the +surface. +.PP +Its shell is black and covered in spiraling geodesic patterns. Its +heads are also black, and have colorful stripes that run from behind +their eyes along the back of their heads and necks. +.PP +You think that if you play this right and pacify the turtle somehow +with your unique skills and talents, that it might ferry you across +the washed out bridge to the other side. +.PP +The dreadlight bobs up and down excitedly, "oH HeCk yEaH LoOk aT +ThAt tUrTlE! oH MaN It iS So wEiRd hAhA! hAhA, wHeEeEe!" +.PP +WHAT DO YOU DO? +. +. +. +.Heading KRUNN +.LP +Stux even though you party lock I still your friend and won't bonk you. Krunn +like to party. Krunn sees turtle and licks lips. He decides not to BONK! +turtle but to use ancient barbarian turtle charming technique. He starts to +play drums on his club. +. +. +. +.Heading CREMINI +.LP +From its cozy nook in Glarg's arms, Cremini bobs its small rock-y head to the +beat of Krunn's club drums. They send tiny bubbles floating in the air towards +the turtle with light popping sounds in sync with the rhythm. +. +. +. +.Heading GLARG +.LP +Glarg is vibin~~ +.PP +It feels moved to "sing". A sound emminated from it that is reminiscent +of an inactive volcano trying to sing the A-B-Cs to the beat of the +Krunn's drum. +. +. +. +.Heading DOZENS +.LP +The party starts ROCKING OUT. +.PP +It is a total raver! +.PP +Krunn is drumming, Glarg is singing, Cremini is blowing bubbles. And +Stux the Party Warlock is doing all kinds of cool party tricks. +Making balloon animals. They even managed to produce a small +xylophone from somewhere and are banging out a jaunty melody with a +tiny mallet. +.PP +The giant, two-headed turtle freezes in place. Both heads regard +you, wide-eyed and silent. And then they both start bobbing up and +down in time to the music. +.PP +After the performance, the giant, obsidian turtle drifts over to the +edge of the pier. You climb aboard, and continue to party hard and +rock out as the creature happily ferries you safely across the swamp. +.PP +The dreadlight, still bobbing up and down in place, cries out, "oMg +tHaT Is sO SiCk! HaHa wHaT A WeIrD TuRtLe! YoU GuYs aRe tOtAlLy +cRaZy!" +.PP +You land on the other side and de-turtle, climbing out onto the slick +grass and mud of the far shore. The turtle sinks back into the swamp +with a small smile on each of its faces and settles down into the mud +for a long nap. +.PP +You follow the path through the swamp and eventually come to a +large-ish clearing. It is a small glade full of silvery blades of +grass. It is full of eviscerated gilpins\*[-]small swamp gnomes that +kind of resemble fish-like bunny rabbits; it is kind of unfair how +cute they are\*[-]strewn about in piles and pieces. The center of the +glade is completely clean and clear of the gore that fills the rest +of the space. It is empty except for a circle of small toadstools, +in the center of which sits a tiny black cat which looks up at you +with huge round yellow eyes. It mewls pathetically and rolls on its +back. +.PP +WHAT DO YOU DO +. +. +. +.Heading KRUNN +.LP +Krunn looks sternly at the cat. "Why you kill all gnome thing? You going to +get a BONK for that. Bad Kitty!" Krunn walks toward the black cat with his +club raised. Ready to BONK it. +. +. +. +.Heading GLARG +.LP +Glarg, is new to being around fleshy lifeforms. It is left assuming that +the gilpins must've gotten carried away while playing and fallen apart. +It clumsily tries to put one back together and wait for it to turn back +on. +. +. +. +.Heading CREMINI +.LP +Spotting the toadstools, Cremini sends out tiny pink bubbles that land on each +toadstool's head in some convoluted pattern that may as well be random were it +not for the *blip bloop* sounds. Like a chipmunk's tune, with only 8 bits. +. +. +. +.Heading DOZENS +.LP +Cremini blows some tiny pink bubbles and plays some dope toadstool +chiptune. The toadstools light up in a neon pastel pattern of bright +pinks and yellows and blues and purples. You can't help but think +that the dreadlight would think this is tOtAlLy aWeSoMe. +.PP +Glarg puzzles over a few gilpin pieces and clumsily tries to assemble +them. They end up with a cluster of two or three torsos and a few +too many limbs jutting out at odd angles. Almost as an afterthought +they thrust a head into its center. It is a furry, scaly, rabbity, +fishy abomination. They set it down on the ground and make some +coaxing, pleading sounds at it. It sounds like smooth river rocks +rubbing against each other. +.PP +Krunn severely scolds and chastises the very bad kitty! In reply, it +rolls onto its side and does a big streeeeeeetch, clawing at the +ground and doing a cute meow-purr. +.PP +Krunn crosses into the toadstool circle and the small cat leaps to +its feet, arches its back and hisses and spits at the sudden +intrusion. It backs away but doesn't leave the circle, and soon it +is cornered, and Krunn gives it a solid BONK right on the head, +leaving a small gash across the top of its head. It falls to the +ground in a heap and doesn't move. +.PP +The toadstools audibly exhale, and a pinkish cloud of spores engulf +the cat. It yowls and jumps up and puffs up to an enormous size. +Its eyes bulge. And its warping, twisting bones outgrow their fleshy +enclosure, starting at the skull where Krunn split it. When its +transformation is complete, a huge skeletal beast with a mane of +black fur across its shoulders stands inside the mushroom circle. It +roars, baring its long fangs, and swipes at Krunn with its sharp +boney claws! +.PP +The spores waft throughout the glade. A few of them drift over and +land on the flesh golem Glarg made of gilpin pieces. They seep into +its skin and its eyes shoot open. It looks around in apparent +confusion, gasps for air, and moans. It cautiously reaches out to +Glarg with its tangle of limbs. "Ma... Ma?" +.PP +Crimini notices that\*[-]although they have stopped making music at +this point\*[-]the toadstools continue to pulse weakly but rhythmically +in a repeating pattern of colors. +.PP +WHAT DO YOU DO? +. +. +. +.Heading GLARG +.LP +Glarg is delighted that the flesh elemental has reanimated! It looks +over its shoulder and is alarmed by the new calcium/keratin elemental that +appeared out of nowhere. It picks up Jr, the flesh elemental, and puts +it in the crook of its left arm while shifting Crimini to the right, and +slowly backs backs away towards the entrance to the grove. +. +. +. +.Heading CREMINI +.LP +"Oops. Should've started with a demo cut. Hee hee." says Cremini from the crook +of Glarg's arm. It emits a few more teeny green bubbles towards the toadstools, +just for a few opening notes of an adagio to float out. A midi playing on air. +. +. +. +.Heading KRUNN +.LP +Wide eyed, Krunn takes a few steps back. "Krunn sorry for BONK. Maybe we +can be friends" Kronn says. He reaches into his belt pouch and pulls out a +piece of yarn. "Look kitty I have to for you." he says as he dangles it in +front of the monster cat. +. +. +. +.Heading DOZENS +.LP +Krunn entices the skelebeast with a piece of yarn. It stops and +cocks its head to the side. It flops onto its side, and bats at the +end of string with one big skeletal paw. Its long tail swishes back +and forth in a wide arc. +.PP +Glarg backs up with Jr in one arm and Cremini in the other. They +notice a cylindrical item rattling around inside the beast's rib +cage. It is the size of a small torch, or some kind of baton, or +maybe a large rolled up scroll. It seems to be made of some kind of +a dull silvery metal. +.PP +Cremini blows a few tiny green bubbles. The toadstools bop out a +little melody. +.PP +Jr, the gilpin flesh elemental, smiles happily and groans, and waves +their arms around in time with the toadstool song. +.PP +WHAT DO YOU DO +. +. +. +.Heading CREMINI +.LP +Following Glarg's line of sight, Cremini squints at the skelekat's ribs, "Hey, +party people! What's that inside the skele? Could it be a treasure map? Should +we ask it for a looksie?" +.Heading GLARG +.LP + "DRaaagaaaarMArrrrrb?" +.PP +Glarg squints its eye sockets at the mineral/protein elemental. It puts +Cremini down gently and then carefully balances Jr on top of his "hat." +.PP +He then starts a sprint/gallop on all fours, faster than you might +expect a sentient boulder to move. Its goal is to climb the elemental +and grab the curly rock trapped inside. +.PP +It tries to communicate in one of the common elemental language that its +here to help disloge the foreign body from the chest cavity, which +sounds a little like: +.QP ++\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:[\:>\:+\:>\:+\:+\:+\:>\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:>\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:<\:<\:<\:<\:-\:]\:>\:>\:>\:+\:+\:+\:.\:<\:+\:+\:.\:>\:>\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:<\:<\:.\:>\:>\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:<\:<\:.\:>\:>\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:<\:<\:.\:>\:>\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:<\:<\:.\:>\:>\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:<\:<\:.\:>\:>\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:<\:<\:.\:>\:>\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:<\:<\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\: diff --git a/pandoc/README.md b/pandoc/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..12561cd --- /dev/null +++ b/pandoc/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,8 @@ +# BLOODMOON GATE + +https://tilde.town/~dozens/townies-and-taverns.html + +--- + +this is a roleplaying game that we are playing on the town mailing list + diff --git a/pandoc/emails.txt b/pandoc/emails.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cee07fa --- /dev/null +++ b/pandoc/emails.txt @@ -0,0 +1,633 @@ +--- +title: "Townies & Taverns" +description: "A silly little role-playing game" +created: 2023-02-13 +updated: 2023-03-25 +--- + +Townies & Taverns is an experimental freeform role-playing game taking place on the `list+town@tilde.town` mailing list (internal only). + +It started when ~mhj asked the following question: + +::: { .pc .mhj } +What are some good play by email games? It would also be cool to do a play by email dungeons and dragons campaign maybe? I dunno how that would work, but yeah... +::: + + +::: { .dm .dozens } +oh snap guess what, it's already happening + +~ + +Defeating the demon hordes and sealing the Bloodmoon Gate was King Ardan's greatest accomplishment. Afterward, he shattered the Staff of the Archmage into five pieces and flung them to the farthest regions of the Silver Yonder to ensure that the foul gate would remain closed forever. + +Each of the five pieces of the staff were entrusted to one of Ardan's most faithful warriors. They developed over the years into five powerful, secretive sects. Together, they are known as the Hand. + +The years that followed the closing of the gate were ones of peace and prosperity. Generations were born and grew old during Ardan's reign. Such was the fey-touched king's lifespan elongated. The terrors of the Demon Plague soon faded into legend. + +Now, fools and villains have meddled where they ought not. And the Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again. Imps, gremlins, and other minor demons---harbingers of the demon horde---have been spotted causing mischief throughout the Yonder. + +The king, now wizened and enfeebled, has assembled his greatest and mightiest adventurers to recover the lost pieces of the Staff of the Archmage. For only its power can save the Silver Yonder from the demon hordes. + +Unfortunately they never came back. + +So now the king's quest has fallen to you! The kingdom's second +greatest and mightiest adventurers! You must not fail! + +~ + +You are at The Famous Shrub, one of the busiest taverns in Woodhome. And tonight is your last night in town before heading into the Flooded Lands to confront the clan of barbarians known as the Pinky and recover the first artifact. + +1. Who are you? + +2. Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky? + +3. What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands? + +4. What evidence have you seen of demonic presence? + +5. How are you spending your last night in Woodhome? +::: + + +::: { .pc .stux } +Oh, sounds like fun! + +1. I am Stux RowHammer, nearly renowned worlock + +2. The Pinky are rumored to have a weapon able to destroy entire +villages. No one's ever seen it or seen proof of it, but it's so +scary that no one's every questions it + +3. None have ever returned to tell what dark beasts stalk that land + +4. I spend it enjoying food and games with my family + + +Did I do that right? +::: + + +::: pc +> 1. Who are you? + +oh! oh dear, i figured we'd met already, but i understand if you didn't se--hey! down here! please watch where you step! gnomes don't have very strong bones you know. my name is tato, the illusion! i enjoy card tricks, and making people disappear + +... + +ME I MEAN. PAY NO HEED TO THE RUMORS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD + +> 2. Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky? + +like my good friend stux mentioned, it is rumo--huh, what do you mean you don't know me either? i've followed you for weeks now + +no matter + +the destruction of entire villages is actually only the second scariest trick this weapon this is proof enough for me, it's just science! but to be fully rigorous, i sought to investigate further + +upon discovering the author and asking where these visions came from, the author replied "hell awaits you for breaking into my house at this hour!", which i believe refers to the coming demonic invasion + +> 5. How are you spending your last night in Woodhome? + +woodhome means a lot to me, so i will check in with all of my friends! + +none of them are much the speaking type, i do not believe any of them have ever spoken a word to me! but their company comforts me nonetheless +::: + + +::: dm +When the world was young, the bountiful earth and the hungry sea fell in love with each other from a distance. The earth would make eyes at the sea, and the sea would bashfully wave. They agreed to meet face to face to consummate their love, and the waters rose up and flooded the land. When the great flood receded, the devastation was total. Great cities were erased. Entire civilizations were wiped out. When they saw what they had done in their carelessness, earth and sea agreed that, though their love may continue to burn, they must never see each other again. + +But see each other they did. Quietly and discreetly, their passions held in check by the fear of losing control once more. + +The Flooded Lands are the last place where earth and sea mingle. Endless bogs, wetlands, swamps, and marshes. Neither the children of the earth nor the children of the sea are entirely at home here. Rather, this is home to those born of the flood. Things made of mud and clay. Slimy, scaley things with and fur and gills. + +Your goal here is to find the Pinky, Ardan's champion, and recover +the first artifact of the archmage. + +Two paths lie ahead of you. + +One is through the Swamp of Sorrows. It is the most direct route and will get you to the Pinky's monastery the quickest. But it is also the most dangerous. For the swamp is full of Dreadlights, Bog Rot, and Oneirophants. + +The more circuitous route is also the safer option. It will take you around the swamp, through the Trollfen, and over Turtle Mound. A longer journey, but one less fraught with danger. + +WHAT DO YOU DO +::: + + +::: { .pc .stux } +I look at the rest of the party + +"What do you all think? I'm no ranger, I don't know much about the wilderness. I'm not afraid to take the quick route, but I also see the wisdom in the more cautious approach". +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +1. Who are you? + + Me Krunn with club who go BONK! + +2. Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky? + + They too have club go BONK! + +3. What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands? + + Big thing with big bite that ouch. + +4. What evidence have you seen of demonic presence? + + Big foot that wide as arms. + +5. How are you spending your last night in Woodhome? + + Eat drink sleep +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +Krunn say go swamp more to thing to BONK. +::: + + +::: dm +The story thus far: you are on a mission to re-assemble the Staff of the Archmage and seal the Bloodmoon Gate to prevent the Demon Horde from sweeping across the Silver Yonder. The first piece of the staff is in the possession of the Pinky somewhere in the Flooded Lands. + +~ + +There is a long footbridge of rotten, moldy, wooden planks that leads out across the fetid water. You follow it into the Swamp of Sorrows. + +The swamp is putrid. Almost nauseatingly smelly. A thick carpet of orange algae undulates with the rippling of the water beneath it. Pockets of swamp gas escape the mud far below and belch noisily when they reach the surface. Clouds of insects float above the water, and nip at you as you pass by. Large swamp trees grow here, with gnarled, twisted roots. Moss and thick vines hang from the branches and block your view. Between the trees, in the distance, you can see sulphurous yellow dreadlights bobbing up and down, just waiting to lure an unwitting traveler out into the waters. + +Just up ahead, a large portion of the bridge has collapsed. About as far across as a wide road. You look down and see five or eight emaciated, milky white bodies floating suspended in the water below you. Their eyes are closed and their skin is pulled taught across their bones. Their hair spreads out like a halo around their heads. These are Oneirophants, slumbering prisoners of the swamp. If you're lucky, they won't bother you. If you disturb their slumber though, +they may try to pull you down into the swamp to join them. + +WHAT DO YOU DO? +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +A few paces left of the entrance to the collapsed bridge is what appears to be a boulder with an arm sticking out the side of it. It seems to give off a very faint hum. +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +Tell Stux and little gnome to stand back. Krunn will roll boulder cause Krunn strong. +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +As you study the boulder you notice the arm protruding from it is made of the same burnt umber stone as the rest of the boulder... peculiar because the ground around it is... well, swamp coloured. + +The boulder begins to visibly vibrate. At first faint, but then as if a stampeed of horses was going on around it. +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +Stux what we do ? It might be woo woo magic. Krunn slowly backs away waiting for Stux or the gnomes reply. +::: + + +::: { .pc .stux } +Hmmmm... Something strange is going on here. I'm going to put on my sunglasses of true sight and see if anything becomes obvious. +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +Through the sunglasses you can see the outline of a large bulky humanoid curled up into a tight ball with its arm sticking out. + +All of a sudden, with a loud, deep crack, the leg dislodges itself from the ball and starts kicking the ground. Now the boulder is rocking back-and-forth in place with the leg kicking the ground when it gets close. +::: + + +::: { .pc .stux } +"Hey Krunn, its BONKING TIME! Somtimes you gotta BONK first and ask questions when they regain conscienceness" +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +With a solemn nod to Stux, Krunn raises his club over his head with both hands and runs at the rock. BONK! +::: + + +::: dm +While Stux and Krunn were fussing around with the leggy one-armed +boulder, you inadvertently attracted the attention of the swamp's +least desirable denizens. + +Three oneirophants---the lanky, clammy, pale drowned creatures who +sleep at the bottom of the swamp---have crawled up onto the pier. +They slither around on their bellies grinning and grabbing at your +ankles. + +"Come swim with us!" says the one with no teeth. + +"Yes, come sleep under water!" agrees the one with far too many +teeth. + +"Such sights you will see!" + +"Yes, such wonders!" + +The third oneirophant's mouth is sewn shut so you have no idea whether or not it has an appropriate number of teeth. It is awkwardly fumbling around with the ankle of the humanoid boulder but seems incapable of getting a hold of it with its cold slippery hand. It looks frustrated and uncomfortable. + +One of the bobbing dreadlights---alerted to your presence by the commotion---weaves its way over to the pier and shines brightly in your eyes so that you have to squint. + +"hEy dO YoU YoU WaNt tO SeE A WeIrD TuRtLe?" says the dreadlight. "iT'S RiGhT OvEr hErE, fOlLoW Me. It's rEaLlY WeIrD. yOu gOtTa sEe iT." + +WHAT DO YOU DO? +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +Krunn BONKS! one of the oneirophants that talks to much. +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +After Krunn BONKS the boulder, its shaking slows to a rumble and then stops. Then **CRACK**; a squat hemisphere pops out of the top of the boulder. The hemisphere rotates 180 degrees. As the... head?... completes its rotation, what appears to be crude facial feature become visible, like a sculpter was making the rough draft of a head in clay. + +**CRACK** another arm pops out of the side of the boulder. Now the fingers on the hand of the first arm are starting to move. The boulder rocks back and forth, pivoting around where it's fourth leg should be. + +The mass suddenly stops wiggling as the oneirophants start talking. It then looks at one clawing at its leg. It bends over at the middle forming a waist until its head is about a foot from the dreadlights. It opens its mouth indentation and makes a noise clearly not coming from its throat, but somewhere deep within it, a noise that sounds deep, gutteral, cosmic, and earthy. + +"ggglllaaaAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!" + +It moves its arm down towards the oneirophant in an attempt to grab it and throw it back into the lake. +::: + + +::: dm +The oneirophant slithers around on its belly, grinning up at you with its sharp little pointy teeth and its large wet eyes. + +"Come sleep and swim with us!" it hisses at you. "You can be like a shark! Sleeping and swimming with one eye open and---ACK!" + +Krunn BONKS the talkative oneirophant right on its noggin. Its skull makes a squishy sound and flattens---ejecting a surprising amount of water---and slowly, slowly returns to its normal shape like a sponge. It looks up at Krunn, insulted and cross-eyed and kind of lopsided, and slinks away off the side of the pier and back into the swamp with a plop. + +Meanwhile Glarg is glarging out super hard. As the oneirophant tries in vain to grab your ankle, you in turn wrap your giant rocky fist around its entire torso and lift it up. It hisses and slither wriggles in your grasp. You squeeze a little too tightly, and it pops out of your grasp like a slippery fish. You comically juggle it a few times, squeezing and shooting it from your fist. Until finally it flops onto the pier, and back into the water. + +The remaining oneirophants make rude faces and wag their fingers at you, disgusted at your inhospitable behavior. And they too slither off the side of the pier. + +Only the dreadlight remains, bobbing up and down in the air. It is a small orb of light about the size of your fist. It glows a sulphurous yellow a couple arm lengths away from the pier, hovering over the water. + +It buzzes as it speaks in a slightly muffled, undulating voice, "tHeRe's a tUrTlE OuT HeRe tHaT Is tOtAlLy wEiRd. It's lIkE, yOu wOuLdN'T EvEn bElIeVe iT. yOu'vE GoT To cOmE SeE ThIs wEiRd tUrTlE, c'mOn." + +Meanwhile, your way forward is still blocked by the washed out bridge. + +WHAT DO YOU DO +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +Glarg squints its eye indents at the the dreadlight. Mistaking it for a shiny rock, it walks on to the pier in attempt to grab it. +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +Krunn like blinky light too. Krunn also like turtle. YUM! Krunn follows +Glarg. +::: + + +::: dm +Glarg grabs at the dreadlight. + +"WHoA ThErE BuDdY!" cries the dreadlight as it dances away, +tantalizingly just out of your grasp, luring you closer and closer to +the edge of the pier. "lEt's nOt bE So gRaBbY OkAy bIg gUy? I CaN'T +ShOw yOu tHiS WeIrD TuRtLe iF I'M AlL CaPtUrEd aNd sTuFf! aNd tHaT +WoUlD Be sAd wOuLdN'T It? FoR ThErE To bE ThIs tOtAlLy wEiRd tUrTlE, +aNd nObOdY GeTs tO SeE It?" + +Krunn sees Glarg grasp repeatedly at the annoying, bobbing light. +Finally, inevitably, they overextend themself and start to lose their +balance, teetering on the edge of the pier. + +And then--KerSPLASH!!--down they go. + +Glarg floats like a stone in the water. Which is to say, not at all. +A gleeful oneirophant burbles with delight as you sink past, +"Yes! Haha, yessssss!", and finally you come to rest in the mud at +the bottom of the swamp. + +The surface of the water is only five or six feet out of your reach. + +You notice that you came to rest near a large, smooth, oblong, +patterned stone. And as you watch, the stone opens along its seam +and a large, striped turtle head pokes out and looks at you +curiously. Then a second striped head emerges from the shell! The +second head continues to regard you while the first one extends its +neck and experimentally nibbles on your arm with a gentle bite. + +WHAT DO YOU DO +::: + + + +::: { .pc .stux } +Suddenly you see a rope peirce the surface of the water and make it's way to +you. You grab on to it, and someone starts pulling you out. You notice it +feels too soft to be a rope, and it's full of knots. + +As you come out of the water you see the warlock Stux pulling you to shore. +That's when you finally see that the "rope" is actually a series of brightly +colored hankerchiefs tied together. + +Stux says: +"Guys, I have a confession to make. I didn't exactly tell you the whole truth +about myself. You see, I am a warlock, but I'm a party warlock. Like kids +parties. My deity is Bozo The Clown. I really do have magic, but it's not the +cool or useful kind." + +He looks down at his feet. +"I just wanted to feel cool, like a real adventurer and not a 38 year old +party entertainer that live's in his grandmother's basement" +::: + + + +::: { .pc .cremini } +"Did someone say magic and parties?" says a giggling voice from somewhere under +the pier. A small round head wearing a flat hat with pops out from among the +algae and rocks to peer curiously at Stux with beady black eyes. It smiles +softly at the party warlock. "Entertainers are cool! Are you holding a party? +That's useful for having fun!" + +The round head clambers up to the surface, it becomes clear that the brown flat +hat is in fact the top of the stubby creature's head. It is also apparent that +they have no arms and legs (or at least no visible appendages), but it manages +to wobble closer until it is standing about a warlock's arm's length away. + +"This one is Cremini!" It beams. "What a wonderful day for a poolside party!" + +It turns to the water and begins to blow bubbles along the surface of the +swamp from the top of its head. +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +Glarg looks at, what it perceives to be, a talking rock. Glarg picks up +Cremini and holds it close to its bosom turn to look down at the lake +and rumbles: + +"Twaarrrrr-taaaal" +::: + + +::: { .pc .cremini } +The talking mushroom rock — or is it a rock mushroom? — giggles when Glarg +picks it up. "You're very strong!" It exclaims. They look downwards at the +lake as well. "Turtles all the way down!" +::: + + +::: dm +recap: + +the Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again and harbingers of +the Demon Horde have been seen in the Silver Yonder. Your mission is +to recover the Five Artifacts and reassemble the Staff of the +Archmage, the legendary weapon that can seal the demon gate forever. +You are currently in the Swamp of Sorrows seeking the Pinky, guardian +of the first artifact. + +And now: + +Stux the party warlock fishes Glarg out of the swamp. + +Glarg picks up Cremini, the small agreeable mushroom creature whose +rock content is currently unknown. + +Krunn assesses the landscape for potential things to bonk. + +The swamp water bubbles, froths, and churns. As though summoned by +the Glarg's words, a two-headed turtle of enormous girth breaches the +surface. + +Its shell is black and covered in spiraling geodesic patterns. Its +heads are also black, and have colorful stripes that run from behind +their eyes along the back of their heads and necks. + +You think that if you play this right and pacify the turtle somehow +with your unique skills and talents, that it might ferry you across +the washed out bridge to the other side. + +The dreadlight bobs up and down excitedly, "oH HeCk yEaH LoOk aT +ThAt tUrTlE! oH MaN It iS So wEiRd hAhA! hAhA, wHeEeEe!" + +WHAT DO YOU DO? +::: + + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +Stux even though you party lock I still your friend and won't bonk you. Krunn +like to party. Krunn sees turtle and licks lips. He decides not to BONK! +turtle but to use ancient barbarian turtle charming technique. He starts to +play drums on his club. +::: + + +::: { .pc .cremini } +From its cozy nook in Glarg's arms, Cremini bobs its small rock-y head to the +beat of Krunn's club drums. They send tiny bubbles floating in the air towards +the turtle with light popping sounds in sync with the rhythm. +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +Glarg is vibin~~ + +It feels moved to "sing". A sound emminated from it that is reminiscent +of an inactive volcano trying to sing the A-B-Cs to the beat of the +Krunn's drum. +::: + + +::: dm +The party starts ROCKING OUT. + +It is a total raver! + +Krunn is drumming, Glarg is singing, Cremini is blowing bubbles. And +Stux the Party Warlock is doing all kinds of cool party tricks. +Making balloon animals. They even managed to produce a small +xylophone from somewhere and are banging out a jaunty melody with a +tiny mallet. + +The giant, two-headed turtle freezes in place. Both heads regard +you, wide-eyed and silent. And then they both start bobbing up and +down in time to the music. + +After the performance, the giant, obsidian turtle drifts over to the +edge of the pier. You climb aboard, and continue to party hard and +rock out as the creature happily ferries you safely across the swamp. + +The dreadlight, still bobbing up and down in place, cries out, "oMg +tHaT Is sO SiCk! HaHa wHaT A WeIrD TuRtLe! YoU GuYs aRe tOtAlLy +cRaZy!" + +You land on the other side and de-turtle, climbing out onto the slick +grass and mud of the far shore. The turtle sinks back into the swamp +with a small smile on each of its faces and settles down into the mud +for a long nap. + +You follow the path through the swamp and eventually come to a +large-ish clearing. It is a small glade full of silvery blades of +grass. It is full of eviscerated gilpins---small swamp gnomes that +kind of resemble fish-like bunny rabbits; it is kind of unfair how +cute they are---strewn about in piles and pieces. The center of the +glade is completely clean and clear of the gore that fills the rest +of the space. It is empty except for a circle of small toadstools, +in the center of which sits a tiny black cat which looks up at you +with huge round yellow eyes. It mewls pathetically and rolls on its +back. + +WHAT DO YOU DO +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +Krunn looks sternly at the cat. "Why you kill all gnome thing? You going to +get a BONK for that. Bad Kitty!" Krunn walks toward the black cat with his +club raised. Ready to BONK it. +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +Glarg, is new to being around fleshy lifeforms. It is left assuming that +the gilpins must've gotten carried away while playing and fallen apart. +It clumsily tries to put one back together and wait for it to turn back +on. +::: + + +::: { .pc .cremini } +Spotting the toadstools, Cremini sends out tiny pink bubbles that land on each +toadstool's head in some convoluted pattern that may as well be random were it +not for the *blip bloop* sounds. Like a chipmunk's tune, with only 8 bits. +::: + + +::: dm +Cremini blows some tiny pink bubbles and plays some dope toadstool +chiptune. The toadstools light up in a neon pastel pattern of bright +pinks and yellows and blues and purples. You can't help but think +that the dreadlight would think this is tOtAlLy aWeSoMe. + +Glarg puzzles over a few gilpin pieces and clumsily tries to assemble +them. They end up with a cluster of two or three torsos and a few +too many limbs jutting out at odd angles. Almost as an afterthought +they thrust a head into its center. It is a furry, scaly, rabbity, +fishy abomination. They set it down on the ground and make some +coaxing, pleading sounds at it. It sounds like smooth river rocks +rubbing against each other. + +Krunn severely scolds and chastises the very bad kitty! In reply, it +rolls onto its side and does a big streeeeeeetch, clawing at the +ground and doing a cute meow-purr. + +Krunn crosses into the toadstool circle and the small cat leaps to +its feet, arches its back and hisses and spits at the sudden +intrusion. It backs away but doesn't leave the circle, and soon it +is cornered, and Krunn gives it a solid BONK right on the head, +leaving a small gash across the top of its head. It falls to the +ground in a heap and doesn't move. + +The toadstools audibly exhale, and a pinkish cloud of spores engulf +the cat. It yowls and jumps up and puffs up to an enormous size. +Its eyes bulge. And its warping, twisting bones outgrow their fleshy +enclosure, starting at the skull where Krunn split it. When its +transformation is complete, a huge skeletal beast with a mane of +black fur across its shoulders stands inside the mushroom circle. It +roars, baring its long fangs, and swipes at Krunn with its sharp +boney claws! + +The spores waft throughout the glade. A few of them drift over and +land on the flesh golem Glarg made of gilpin pieces. They seep into +its skin and its eyes shoot open. It looks around in apparent +confusion, gasps for air, and moans. It cautiously reaches out to +Glarg with its tangle of limbs. "Ma... Ma?" + +Crimini notices that---although they have stopped making music at +this point---the toadstools continue to pulse weakly but rhythmically +in a repeating pattern of colors. + +WHAT DO YOU DO? +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } +Glarg is delighted that the flesh elemental has reanimated! It looks +over its shoulder and is alarmed by the new calcium/keratin elemental that +appeared out of nowhere. It picks up Jr, the flesh elemental, and puts +it in the crook of its left arm while shifting Crimini to the right, and +slowly backs backs away towards the entrance to the grove. +::: + + +::: { .pc .cremini } +"Oops. Should've started with a demo cut. Hee hee." says Cremini from the crook +of Glarg's arm. It emits a few more teeny green bubbles towards the toadstools, +just for a few opening notes of an adagio to float out. A midi playing on air. +::: + + +::: { .pc .krunn } +Wide eyed, Krunn takes a few steps back. "Krunn sorry for BONK. Maybe we +can be friends" Kronn says. He reaches into his belt pouch and pulls out a +piece of yarn. "Look kitty I have to for you." he says as he dangles it in +front of the monster cat. +::: + + +::: dm +Krunn entices the skelebeast with a piece of yarn. It stops and +cocks its head to the side. It flops onto its side, and bats at the +end of string with one big skeletal paw. Its long tail swishes back +and forth in a wide arc. + +Glarg backs up with Jr in one arm and Cremini in the other. They +notice a cylindrical item rattling around inside the beast's rib +cage. It is the size of a small torch, or some kind of baton, or +maybe a large rolled up scroll. It seems to be made of some kind of +a dull silvery metal. + +Cremini blows a few tiny green bubbles. The toadstools bop out a +little melody. + +Jr, the gilpin flesh elemental, smiles happily and groans, and waves +their arms around in time with the toadstool song. + +WHAT DO YOU DO +::: + +::: date +Wed, Apr 12 at 8:13 PM +::: + +::: { .pc .cremini } +Following Glarg's line of sight, Cremini squints at the skelekat's ribs, "Hey, +party people! What's that inside the skele? Could it be a treasure map? Should +we ask it for a looksie?" +::: + + +::: { .pc .glarg } + "DRaaagaaaarMArrrrrb?" + +Glarg squints its eye sockets at the mineral/protein elemental. It puts +Cremini down gently and then carefully balances Jr on top of his "hat." + +He then starts a sprint/gallop on all fours, faster than you might +expect a sentient boulder to move. Its goal is to climb the elemental +and grab the curly rock trapped inside. + +It tries to communicate in one of the common elemental language that its +here to help disloge the foreign body from the chest cavity, which +sounds a little like: + +``` +++++++++++[>+>+++>+++++++>++++++++++<<<<-]>>>+++.<++.>>---.++++++++++++.<<.>>-----.---.+++++++++++++.-------------.<<.>>+++++++++++++++.-----.<<.>>-------.---.+++++++.++++.<<.>>+++++++++.----------.++++++.<<.>>----------------.+++++++.-------.++++++++.--------.+++++++++.++++++.-------------------.+++++++++++.<<.>>------.++++++++++++.---------.----.+++++++++.----------.<<++++++++++++++. +``` +::: diff --git a/pandoc/justfile b/pandoc/justfile new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bc4eb34 --- /dev/null +++ b/pandoc/justfile @@ -0,0 +1,7 @@ +# list commands +default: + just --list --unsorted + +# build html +html: + pandoc -f markdown -t html5 -s -H style.html -o townies-and-taverns.html emails.txt diff --git a/pandoc/spoilers b/pandoc/spoilers new file mode 100644 index 0000000..81b9f6d --- /dev/null +++ b/pandoc/spoilers @@ -0,0 +1,72 @@ +%rec: staff +%doc: when the artifacts are assembled to form the Staff of the Archmage, then you may attempt to seal the Bloodmoon Gate + +Champion: Pinky +Artifact: Cold Iron Band +Aspect: Moon, Light, Sleep, Dreams +Region: Flooded Lands + +Champion: Ringer +Artifact: Rod of Ways +Aspect: Portals, Passages, Doors, Hallways +Region: Rolling Hills + +Champion: Tallman +Artifact: Black Iron Band +Aspect: Prison, Banishment, Holding, Obstacles +Region: Iron Mountains + +Champion: Pointer +Artifact: Rod of Tricks +Aspect: Disguise, Trickery, Duplicity, Lies +Region: Fell Vale + +Champion: Thumb +Artifact: Bloodstone +Aspect: Birth, Life, Change, Beginnings +Region: Maw of Omission + +%rec: fronts +%doc: what are the threats in your area + +Front: Demon Plague +Description: Hastur the Demon Prince aims to send his armies to ravage the waking world. +Impulse: to spread, to wipe out humanity +Leader: Hastur, the Yellow Prince +Lieutenant: Wilde +Goons: +Opposition: The Hand +Portents: ++ [x] minor demons appear in the silver yonder ++ [ ] the yellow sign is seen throughout the yonder ++ [ ] the Hand is eradicated ++ [ ] the staff of the archmage is assembled ++ [ ] the bloodmoon gate is fully opened ++ [ ] the demon horde is unleashed +Doom: chaos, destruction, apocalypse + +Front: Masquerade +Description: Qaanaaq collects party guests as her hoard, and protects them fiercely. She will never let them go. They will dance and dance and dance and dance and dance. +Impulse: to hoard and protect +Leader: Qaanaaq the Faerie Dragon +Lieutenant: Thistledown, Dandelion Knight +Goons: Ayer, Hoy, and Manana +Opposition: ?? +Portents: ++ [ ] the door to Fey is opened ++ [ ] widespread dreams of endless dancing ++ [ ] persistant sound of music ++ [ ] fatigue ++ [ ] people start disappearing ++ [ ] the door to Fey is closed +Doom: enslavement + +Front: Clavigers +Description: The clavigers are the Key Masters of the universe. They study and catalog every door, portal, and gate in existance. +Impulse: to acquire knowledge, open doors +Leader: Ignatius "Nacho" Polycarp +Lieutenant: Amanda Savage +Goons: Door Wizard, and Key Wizard +Opposition: +Portents: +Doom: diff --git a/pandoc/style.html b/pandoc/style.html new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ed3d254 --- /dev/null +++ b/pandoc/style.html @@ -0,0 +1,116 @@ + + diff --git a/pandoc/townies-and-taverns.html b/pandoc/townies-and-taverns.html new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4677207 --- /dev/null +++ b/pandoc/townies-and-taverns.html @@ -0,0 +1,860 @@ + + + + + + + + Townies & Taverns + + + + + + +
+

Townies & Taverns

+
+

Townies & Taverns is an experimental freeform role-playing game +taking place on the list+town@tilde.town mailing list +(internal only).

+

It started when ~mhj asked the following question:

+
+

What are some good play by email games? It would also be cool to do a +play by email dungeons and dragons campaign maybe? I dunno how that +would work, but yeah…

+
+
+

oh snap guess what, it’s already happening

+

~

+

Defeating the demon hordes and sealing the Bloodmoon Gate was King +Ardan’s greatest accomplishment. Afterward, he shattered the Staff of +the Archmage into five pieces and flung them to the farthest regions of +the Silver Yonder to ensure that the foul gate would remain closed +forever.

+

Each of the five pieces of the staff were entrusted to one of Ardan’s +most faithful warriors. They developed over the years into five +powerful, secretive sects. Together, they are known as the Hand.

+

The years that followed the closing of the gate were ones of peace +and prosperity. Generations were born and grew old during Ardan’s reign. +Such was the fey-touched king’s lifespan elongated. The terrors of the +Demon Plague soon faded into legend.

+

Now, fools and villains have meddled where they ought not. And the +Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again. Imps, gremlins, and other +minor demons—harbingers of the demon horde—have been spotted causing +mischief throughout the Yonder.

+

The king, now wizened and enfeebled, has assembled his greatest and +mightiest adventurers to recover the lost pieces of the Staff of the +Archmage. For only its power can save the Silver Yonder from the demon +hordes.

+

Unfortunately they never came back.

+

So now the king’s quest has fallen to you! The kingdom’s second +greatest and mightiest adventurers! You must not fail!

+

~

+

You are at The Famous Shrub, one of the busiest taverns in Woodhome. +And tonight is your last night in town before heading into the Flooded +Lands to confront the clan of barbarians known as the Pinky and recover +the first artifact.

+
    +

  1. Who are you?

    2. +

  2. Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?

    3. +

  3. What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands?

    4. +

  4. What evidence have you seen of demonic presence?

    5. +

  5. How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?

    6. +
+
+
+

Oh, sounds like fun!

+
    +

  1. I am Stux RowHammer, nearly renowned worlock

    2. +

  2. The Pinky are rumored to have a weapon able to destroy entire +villages. No one’s ever seen it or seen proof of it, but it’s so scary +that no one’s every questions it

    3. +

  3. None have ever returned to tell what dark beasts stalk that +land

    4. +

  4. I spend it enjoying food and games with my family

    5. +
+

Did I do that right?

+
+
+
+
    +
  1. Who are you?
    2. +
+
+

oh! oh dear, i figured we’d met already, but i understand if you +didn’t se–hey! down here! please watch where you step! gnomes don’t have +very strong bones you know. my name is tato, the illusion! i enjoy card +tricks, and making people disappear

+

…

+

ME I MEAN. PAY NO HEED TO THE RUMORS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD

+
+
    +
  1. Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?
    2. +
+
+

like my good friend stux mentioned, it is rumo–huh, what do you mean +you don’t know me either? i’ve followed you for weeks now

+

no matter

+

the destruction of entire villages is actually only the second +scariest trick this weapon this is proof enough for me, it’s just +science! but to be fully rigorous, i sought to investigate further

+

upon discovering the author and asking where these visions came from, +the author replied “hell awaits you for breaking into my house at this +hour!”, which i believe refers to the coming demonic invasion

+
+
    +
  1. How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?
    2. +
+
+

woodhome means a lot to me, so i will check in with all of my +friends!

+

none of them are much the speaking type, i do not believe any of them +have ever spoken a word to me! but their company comforts me +nonetheless

+
+
+

When the world was young, the bountiful earth and the hungry sea fell +in love with each other from a distance. The earth would make eyes at +the sea, and the sea would bashfully wave. They agreed to meet face to +face to consummate their love, and the waters rose up and flooded the +land. When the great flood receded, the devastation was total. Great +cities were erased. Entire civilizations were wiped out. When they saw +what they had done in their carelessness, earth and sea agreed that, +though their love may continue to burn, they must never see each other +again.

+

But see each other they did. Quietly and discreetly, their passions +held in check by the fear of losing control once more.

+

The Flooded Lands are the last place where earth and sea mingle. +Endless bogs, wetlands, swamps, and marshes. Neither the children of the +earth nor the children of the sea are entirely at home here. Rather, +this is home to those born of the flood. Things made of mud and clay. +Slimy, scaley things with and fur and gills.

+

Your goal here is to find the Pinky, Ardan’s champion, and recover +the first artifact of the archmage.

+

Two paths lie ahead of you.

+

One is through the Swamp of Sorrows. It is the most direct route and +will get you to the Pinky’s monastery the quickest. But it is also the +most dangerous. For the swamp is full of Dreadlights, Bog Rot, and +Oneirophants.

+

The more circuitous route is also the safer option. It will take you +around the swamp, through the Trollfen, and over Turtle Mound. A longer +journey, but one less fraught with danger.

+

WHAT DO YOU DO

+
+
+

I look at the rest of the party

+

“What do you all think? I’m no ranger, I don’t know much about the +wilderness. I’m not afraid to take the quick route, but I also see the +wisdom in the more cautious approach”.

+
+
+
    +

  1. Who are you?

    +

    Me Krunn with club who go BONK!

    2. +

  2. Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?

    +

    They too have club go BONK!

    3. +

  3. What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands?

    +

    Big thing with big bite that ouch.

    4. +

  4. What evidence have you seen of demonic presence?

    +

    Big foot that wide as arms.

    5. +

  5. How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?

    +

    Eat drink sleep

    6. +
+
+
+

Krunn say go swamp more to thing to BONK.

+
+
+

The story thus far: you are on a mission to re-assemble the Staff of +the Archmage and seal the Bloodmoon Gate to prevent the Demon Horde from +sweeping across the Silver Yonder. The first piece of the staff is in +the possession of the Pinky somewhere in the Flooded Lands.

+

~

+

There is a long footbridge of rotten, moldy, wooden planks that leads +out across the fetid water. You follow it into the Swamp of Sorrows.

+

The swamp is putrid. Almost nauseatingly smelly. A thick carpet of +orange algae undulates with the rippling of the water beneath it. +Pockets of swamp gas escape the mud far below and belch noisily when +they reach the surface. Clouds of insects float above the water, and nip +at you as you pass by. Large swamp trees grow here, with gnarled, +twisted roots. Moss and thick vines hang from the branches and block +your view. Between the trees, in the distance, you can see sulphurous +yellow dreadlights bobbing up and down, just waiting to lure an +unwitting traveler out into the waters.

+

Just up ahead, a large portion of the bridge has collapsed. About as +far across as a wide road. You look down and see five or eight +emaciated, milky white bodies floating suspended in the water below you. +Their eyes are closed and their skin is pulled taught across their +bones. Their hair spreads out like a halo around their heads. These are +Oneirophants, slumbering prisoners of the swamp. If you’re lucky, they +won’t bother you. If you disturb their slumber though, they may try to +pull you down into the swamp to join them.

+

WHAT DO YOU DO?

+
+
+

A few paces left of the entrance to the collapsed bridge is what +appears to be a boulder with an arm sticking out the side of it. It +seems to give off a very faint hum.

+
+
+

Tell Stux and little gnome to stand back. Krunn will roll boulder +cause Krunn strong.

+
+
+

As you study the boulder you notice the arm protruding from it is +made of the same burnt umber stone as the rest of the boulder… peculiar +because the ground around it is… well, swamp coloured.

+

The boulder begins to visibly vibrate. At first faint, but then as if +a stampeed of horses was going on around it.

+
+
+

Stux what we do ? It might be woo woo magic. Krunn slowly backs away +waiting for Stux or the gnomes reply.

+
+
+

Hmmmm… Something strange is going on here. I’m going to put on my +sunglasses of true sight and see if anything becomes obvious.

+
+
+

Through the sunglasses you can see the outline of a large bulky +humanoid curled up into a tight ball with its arm sticking out.

+

All of a sudden, with a loud, deep crack, the leg dislodges itself +from the ball and starts kicking the ground. Now the boulder is rocking +back-and-forth in place with the leg kicking the ground when it gets +close.

+
+
+

“Hey Krunn, its BONKING TIME! Somtimes you gotta BONK first and ask +questions when they regain conscienceness”

+
+
+

With a solemn nod to Stux, Krunn raises his club over his head with +both hands and runs at the rock. BONK!

+
+
+

While Stux and Krunn were fussing around with the leggy one-armed +boulder, you inadvertently attracted the attention of the swamp’s least +desirable denizens.

+

Three oneirophants—the lanky, clammy, pale drowned creatures who +sleep at the bottom of the swamp—have crawled up onto the pier. They +slither around on their bellies grinning and grabbing at your +ankles.

+

“Come swim with us!” says the one with no teeth.

+

“Yes, come sleep under water!” agrees the one with far too many +teeth.

+

“Such sights you will see!”

+

“Yes, such wonders!”

+

The third oneirophant’s mouth is sewn shut so you have no idea +whether or not it has an appropriate number of teeth. It is awkwardly +fumbling around with the ankle of the humanoid boulder but seems +incapable of getting a hold of it with its cold slippery hand. It looks +frustrated and uncomfortable.

+

One of the bobbing dreadlights—alerted to your presence by the +commotion—weaves its way over to the pier and shines brightly in your +eyes so that you have to squint.

+

“hEy dO YoU YoU WaNt tO SeE A WeIrD TuRtLe?” says the dreadlight. +“iT’S RiGhT OvEr hErE, fOlLoW Me. It’s rEaLlY WeIrD. yOu gOtTa sEe +iT.”

+

WHAT DO YOU DO?

+
+
+

Krunn BONKS! one of the oneirophants that talks to much.

+
+
+

After Krunn BONKS the boulder, its shaking slows to a rumble and then +stops. Then CRACK; a squat hemisphere pops out of the +top of the boulder. The hemisphere rotates 180 degrees. As the… head?… +completes its rotation, what appears to be crude facial feature become +visible, like a sculpter was making the rough draft of a head in +clay.

+

CRACK another arm pops out of the side of the +boulder. Now the fingers on the hand of the first arm are starting to +move. The boulder rocks back and forth, pivoting around where it’s +fourth leg should be.

+

The mass suddenly stops wiggling as the oneirophants start talking. +It then looks at one clawing at its leg. It bends over at the middle +forming a waist until its head is about a foot from the dreadlights. It +opens its mouth indentation and makes a noise clearly not coming from +its throat, but somewhere deep within it, a noise that sounds deep, +gutteral, cosmic, and earthy.

+

“ggglllaaaAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!”

+

It moves its arm down towards the oneirophant in an attempt to grab +it and throw it back into the lake.

+
+
+

The oneirophant slithers around on its belly, grinning up at you with +its sharp little pointy teeth and its large wet eyes.

+

“Come sleep and swim with us!” it hisses at you. “You can be like a +shark! Sleeping and swimming with one eye open and—ACK!”

+

Krunn BONKS the talkative oneirophant right on its noggin. Its skull +makes a squishy sound and flattens—ejecting a surprising amount of +water—and slowly, slowly returns to its normal shape like a sponge. It +looks up at Krunn, insulted and cross-eyed and kind of lopsided, and +slinks away off the side of the pier and back into the swamp with a +plop.

+

Meanwhile Glarg is glarging out super hard. As the oneirophant tries +in vain to grab your ankle, you in turn wrap your giant rocky fist +around its entire torso and lift it up. It hisses and slither wriggles +in your grasp. You squeeze a little too tightly, and it pops out of your +grasp like a slippery fish. You comically juggle it a few times, +squeezing and shooting it from your fist. Until finally it flops onto +the pier, and back into the water.

+

The remaining oneirophants make rude faces and wag their fingers at +you, disgusted at your inhospitable behavior. And they too slither off +the side of the pier.

+

Only the dreadlight remains, bobbing up and down in the air. It is a +small orb of light about the size of your fist. It glows a sulphurous +yellow a couple arm lengths away from the pier, hovering over the +water.

+

It buzzes as it speaks in a slightly muffled, undulating voice, +“tHeRe’s a tUrTlE OuT HeRe tHaT Is tOtAlLy wEiRd. It’s lIkE, yOu +wOuLdN’T EvEn bElIeVe iT. yOu’vE GoT To cOmE SeE ThIs wEiRd tUrTlE, +c’mOn.”

+

Meanwhile, your way forward is still blocked by the washed out +bridge.

+

WHAT DO YOU DO

+
+
+

Glarg squints its eye indents at the the dreadlight. Mistaking it for +a shiny rock, it walks on to the pier in attempt to grab it.

+
+
+

Krunn like blinky light too. Krunn also like turtle. YUM! Krunn +follows Glarg.

+
+
+

Glarg grabs at the dreadlight.

+

“WHoA ThErE BuDdY!” cries the dreadlight as it dances away, +tantalizingly just out of your grasp, luring you closer and closer to +the edge of the pier. “lEt’s nOt bE So gRaBbY OkAy bIg gUy? I CaN’T ShOw +yOu tHiS WeIrD TuRtLe iF I’M AlL CaPtUrEd aNd sTuFf! aNd tHaT WoUlD Be +sAd wOuLdN’T It? FoR ThErE To bE ThIs tOtAlLy wEiRd tUrTlE, aNd nObOdY +GeTs tO SeE It?”

+

Krunn sees Glarg grasp repeatedly at the annoying, bobbing light. +Finally, inevitably, they overextend themself and start to lose their +balance, teetering on the edge of the pier.

+

And then–KerSPLASH!!–down they go.

+

Glarg floats like a stone in the water. Which is to say, not at all. +A gleeful oneirophant burbles with delight as you sink past, “Yes! Haha, +yessssss!”, and finally you come to rest in the mud at the bottom of the +swamp.

+

The surface of the water is only five or six feet out of your +reach.

+

You notice that you came to rest near a large, smooth, oblong, +patterned stone. And as you watch, the stone opens along its seam and a +large, striped turtle head pokes out and looks at you curiously. Then a +second striped head emerges from the shell! The second head continues to +regard you while the first one extends its neck and experimentally +nibbles on your arm with a gentle bite.

+

WHAT DO YOU DO

+
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Suddenly you see a rope peirce the surface of the water and make it’s +way to you. You grab on to it, and someone starts pulling you out. You +notice it feels too soft to be a rope, and it’s full of knots.

+

As you come out of the water you see the warlock Stux pulling you to +shore. That’s when you finally see that the “rope” is actually a series +of brightly colored hankerchiefs tied together.

+

Stux says: “Guys, I have a confession to make. I didn’t exactly tell +you the whole truth about myself. You see, I am a warlock, but I’m a +party warlock. Like kids parties. My deity is Bozo The Clown. I really +do have magic, but it’s not the cool or useful kind.”

+

He looks down at his feet. “I just wanted to feel cool, like a real +adventurer and not a 38 year old party entertainer that live’s in his +grandmother’s basement”

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“Did someone say magic and parties?” says a giggling voice from +somewhere under the pier. A small round head wearing a flat hat with +pops out from among the algae and rocks to peer curiously at Stux with +beady black eyes. It smiles softly at the party warlock. “Entertainers +are cool! Are you holding a party? That’s useful for having fun!”

+

The round head clambers up to the surface, it becomes clear that the +brown flat hat is in fact the top of the stubby creature’s head. It is +also apparent that they have no arms and legs (or at least no visible +appendages), but it manages to wobble closer until it is standing about +a warlock’s arm’s length away.

+

“This one is Cremini!” It beams. “What a wonderful day for a poolside +party!”

+

It turns to the water and begins to blow bubbles along the surface of +the swamp from the top of its head.

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+

Glarg looks at, what it perceives to be, a talking rock. Glarg picks +up Cremini and holds it close to its bosom turn to look down at the lake +and rumbles:

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“Twaarrrrr-taaaal”

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The talking mushroom rock — or is it a rock mushroom? — giggles when +Glarg picks it up. “You’re very strong!” It exclaims. They look +downwards at the lake as well. “Turtles all the way down!”

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recap:

+

the Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again and harbingers of +the Demon Horde have been seen in the Silver Yonder. Your mission is to +recover the Five Artifacts and reassemble the Staff of the Archmage, the +legendary weapon that can seal the demon gate forever. You are currently +in the Swamp of Sorrows seeking the Pinky, guardian of the first +artifact.

+

And now:

+

Stux the party warlock fishes Glarg out of the swamp.

+

Glarg picks up Cremini, the small agreeable mushroom creature whose +rock content is currently unknown.

+

Krunn assesses the landscape for potential things to bonk.

+

The swamp water bubbles, froths, and churns. As though summoned by +the Glarg’s words, a two-headed turtle of enormous girth breaches the +surface.

+

Its shell is black and covered in spiraling geodesic patterns. Its +heads are also black, and have colorful stripes that run from behind +their eyes along the back of their heads and necks.

+

You think that if you play this right and pacify the turtle somehow +with your unique skills and talents, that it might ferry you across the +washed out bridge to the other side.

+

The dreadlight bobs up and down excitedly, “oH HeCk yEaH LoOk aT ThAt +tUrTlE! oH MaN It iS So wEiRd hAhA! hAhA, wHeEeEe!”

+

WHAT DO YOU DO?

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+
+

Stux even though you party lock I still your friend and won’t bonk +you. Krunn like to party. Krunn sees turtle and licks lips. He decides +not to BONK! turtle but to use ancient barbarian turtle charming +technique. He starts to play drums on his club.

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From its cozy nook in Glarg’s arms, Cremini bobs its small rock-y +head to the beat of Krunn’s club drums. They send tiny bubbles floating +in the air towards the turtle with light popping sounds in sync with the +rhythm.

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Glarg is vibin~~

+

It feels moved to “sing”. A sound emminated from it that is +reminiscent of an inactive volcano trying to sing the A-B-Cs to the beat +of the Krunn’s drum.

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The party starts ROCKING OUT.

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It is a total raver!

+

Krunn is drumming, Glarg is singing, Cremini is blowing bubbles. And +Stux the Party Warlock is doing all kinds of cool party tricks. Making +balloon animals. They even managed to produce a small xylophone from +somewhere and are banging out a jaunty melody with a tiny mallet.

+

The giant, two-headed turtle freezes in place. Both heads regard you, +wide-eyed and silent. And then they both start bobbing up and down in +time to the music.

+

After the performance, the giant, obsidian turtle drifts over to the +edge of the pier. You climb aboard, and continue to party hard and rock +out as the creature happily ferries you safely across the swamp.

+

The dreadlight, still bobbing up and down in place, cries out, “oMg +tHaT Is sO SiCk! HaHa wHaT A WeIrD TuRtLe! YoU GuYs aRe tOtAlLy +cRaZy!”

+

You land on the other side and de-turtle, climbing out onto the slick +grass and mud of the far shore. The turtle sinks back into the swamp +with a small smile on each of its faces and settles down into the mud +for a long nap.

+

You follow the path through the swamp and eventually come to a +large-ish clearing. It is a small glade full of silvery blades of grass. +It is full of eviscerated gilpins—small swamp gnomes that kind of +resemble fish-like bunny rabbits; it is kind of unfair how cute they +are—strewn about in piles and pieces. The center of the glade is +completely clean and clear of the gore that fills the rest of the space. +It is empty except for a circle of small toadstools, in the center of +which sits a tiny black cat which looks up at you with huge round yellow +eyes. It mewls pathetically and rolls on its back.

+

WHAT DO YOU DO

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Krunn looks sternly at the cat. “Why you kill all gnome thing? You +going to get a BONK for that. Bad Kitty!” Krunn walks toward the black +cat with his club raised. Ready to BONK it.

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Glarg, is new to being around fleshy lifeforms. It is left assuming +that the gilpins must’ve gotten carried away while playing and fallen +apart. It clumsily tries to put one back together and wait for it to +turn back on.

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Spotting the toadstools, Cremini sends out tiny pink bubbles that +land on each toadstool’s head in some convoluted pattern that may as +well be random were it not for the blip bloop sounds. Like a +chipmunk’s tune, with only 8 bits.

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+
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Cremini blows some tiny pink bubbles and plays some dope toadstool +chiptune. The toadstools light up in a neon pastel pattern of bright +pinks and yellows and blues and purples. You can’t help but think that +the dreadlight would think this is tOtAlLy aWeSoMe.

+

Glarg puzzles over a few gilpin pieces and clumsily tries to assemble +them. They end up with a cluster of two or three torsos and a few too +many limbs jutting out at odd angles. Almost as an afterthought they +thrust a head into its center. It is a furry, scaly, rabbity, fishy +abomination. They set it down on the ground and make some coaxing, +pleading sounds at it. It sounds like smooth river rocks rubbing against +each other.

+

Krunn severely scolds and chastises the very bad kitty! In reply, it +rolls onto its side and does a big streeeeeeetch, clawing at the ground +and doing a cute meow-purr.

+

Krunn crosses into the toadstool circle and the small cat leaps to +its feet, arches its back and hisses and spits at the sudden intrusion. +It backs away but doesn’t leave the circle, and soon it is cornered, and +Krunn gives it a solid BONK right on the head, leaving a small gash +across the top of its head. It falls to the ground in a heap and doesn’t +move.

+

The toadstools audibly exhale, and a pinkish cloud of spores engulf +the cat. It yowls and jumps up and puffs up to an enormous size. Its +eyes bulge. And its warping, twisting bones outgrow their fleshy +enclosure, starting at the skull where Krunn split it. When its +transformation is complete, a huge skeletal beast with a mane of black +fur across its shoulders stands inside the mushroom circle. It roars, +baring its long fangs, and swipes at Krunn with its sharp boney +claws!

+

The spores waft throughout the glade. A few of them drift over and +land on the flesh golem Glarg made of gilpin pieces. They seep into its +skin and its eyes shoot open. It looks around in apparent confusion, +gasps for air, and moans. It cautiously reaches out to Glarg with its +tangle of limbs. “Ma… Ma?”

+

Crimini notices that—although they have stopped making music at this +point—the toadstools continue to pulse weakly but rhythmically in a +repeating pattern of colors.

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WHAT DO YOU DO?

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Glarg is delighted that the flesh elemental has reanimated! It looks +over its shoulder and is alarmed by the new calcium/keratin elemental +that appeared out of nowhere. It picks up Jr, the flesh elemental, and +puts it in the crook of its left arm while shifting Crimini to the +right, and slowly backs backs away towards the entrance to the +grove.

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“Oops. Should’ve started with a demo cut. Hee hee.” says Cremini from +the crook of Glarg’s arm. It emits a few more teeny green bubbles +towards the toadstools, just for a few opening notes of an adagio to +float out. A midi playing on air.

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Wide eyed, Krunn takes a few steps back. “Krunn sorry for BONK. Maybe +we can be friends” Kronn says. He reaches into his belt pouch and pulls +out a piece of yarn. “Look kitty I have to for you.” he says as he +dangles it in front of the monster cat.

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Krunn entices the skelebeast with a piece of yarn. It stops and cocks +its head to the side. It flops onto its side, and bats at the end of +string with one big skeletal paw. Its long tail swishes back and forth +in a wide arc.

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Glarg backs up with Jr in one arm and Cremini in the other. They +notice a cylindrical item rattling around inside the beast’s rib cage. +It is the size of a small torch, or some kind of baton, or maybe a large +rolled up scroll. It seems to be made of some kind of a dull silvery +metal.

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Cremini blows a few tiny green bubbles. The toadstools bop out a +little melody.

+

Jr, the gilpin flesh elemental, smiles happily and groans, and waves +their arms around in time with the toadstool song.

+

WHAT DO YOU DO

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Wed, Apr 12 at 8:13 PM

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Following Glarg’s line of sight, Cremini squints at the skelekat’s +ribs, “Hey, party people! What’s that inside the skele? Could it be a +treasure map? Should we ask it for a looksie?”

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“DRaaagaaaarMArrrrrb?”

+

Glarg squints its eye sockets at the mineral/protein elemental. It +puts Cremini down gently and then carefully balances Jr on top of his +“hat.”

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He then starts a sprint/gallop on all fours, faster than you might +expect a sentient boulder to move. Its goal is to climb the elemental +and grab the curly rock trapped inside.

+

It tries to communicate in one of the common elemental language that +its here to help disloge the foreign body from the chest cavity, which +sounds a little like:

+
++++++++++[>+>+++>+++++++>++++++++++<<<<-]>>>+++.<++.>>---.++++++++++++.<<.>>-----.---.+++++++++++++.-------------.<<.>>+++++++++++++++.-----.<<.>>-------.---.+++++++.++++.<<.>>+++++++++.----------.++++++.<<.>>----------------.+++++++.-------.++++++++.--------.+++++++++.++++++.-------------------.+++++++++++.<<.>>------.++++++++++++.---------.----.+++++++++.----------.<<++++++++++++++.
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