








                            CORNQUEST


                             dozens


0                                1

You  wake  up in the comfort of  You grab your lucky  rock  from
your own bed, in your own room.  under  your pillow. It is small
You open your eyes to  see  the  and pointy, in the shape  of  a
golden  sunlight come streaming  corn cob. There are even little
in through your window.  Golden  pock marks all over the rock so
like ears of corn. You suddenly  that  it looks like it has corn
remember  what day it is. It is  kernels! Very lucky indeed. You
the day of the  Harvest  Festi-  slip  it  into   your   pocket.
val!  You  throw  back your fa-  There, now you're are ready for
vorite corn  print  bed  covers  anything.    You   run  to  the
and  leap  out  of  bed. You've  kitchen. (You never go anywhere
been looking  forward  to  this  at anything less  than  a  full
day  all  year, and you already  run.)  Breakfast  is corn grits
know exactly what you're  going  and cornbread. You eat quickly.
to  wear.  If  you  wear a corn  It's the Harvest Festival after
dress, goto 3. If you wear corn  all! The best day of the  year!
bib overalls, goto to 8          You  run  outside.  There are a
                                 bunch of kids playing games out
                                 in the corn fields.  They  call
                                 your  name,  and you're tempted
                                 to join them. But you also want
                                 to go see the goings on down at
                                 the corn altar!  The altar  can
                                 wait,  time  to  play. Goto 10.
                                 Games are  for  stupid  babies!
                                 Time  to  visit the altar! Goto
                                 14.

                                 2

                                 You leave  the  plaza  and  run
                                 down  Broad  Street through the
                                 Golden  Gate   out   into   the
                                 fields.  Almost all of the corn
                                 has been harvested  already  so
                                 you  have  clear  sight all the
                                 way to the forest  edge.  Unbe-
                                 lieving,  you  spin  around  in
                                 circles three times just to  be
                                 sure  it's true: the corn beast
                                 is gone. You sink to the ground
                                 in despair. Goto 22










                               -2-


3                                7

You slip on a lovely corn  pat-  Okay  thank   goodness   you're
tern  dress. Yes, you look awe-  here.  Listen,  I  know this is
some. It twirls when  you  spin  going  to  sound   crazy,   but
around.  And  it  has  pockets!  please  hear  me  out.  You are
Which reminds you... Goto 1.     trapped inside  a  Choose  Your
                                 Own   Adventure   story.  These
4                                choices you think  you're  mak-
                                 ing?  They're not real choices.
Listen I don't know how you got  Being given an artificially re-
here  but  if  you're   reading  stricted  set  of  options   to
this,  you need to abandon your  choose  from  isn't  free will.
current story line  immediately  It's coercion. Here, I'll prove
and go straight to 7             it. If you believe me, goto 19.
                                 If you think this  sounds  like
5                                paranoid bunk, then goto 24

The   closer  you  get  to  the  8
plaza, the  more  you  get  the
feeling something is wrong. The  You pull on your overalls. They
decorations  are all up but no-  have a really nice looking corn
body is singing or hollering or  pattern  on  them,  and the bib
laughing. Or talking.  You  ar-  pocket in the front is  perfect
rive  at  the  Corn  Altar, and  for   holding   all   kinds  of
then gasp out loud and skid  to  things.  Speaking  of  which...
a  stop  before it.  The offer-  Goto 1
ing, the pile of ears of  corn,
is  still  lying  on  the altar  9
where it was placed last night!
People are milling about, whis-  You  scoop the little fella up!
pering and casting quick, fear-  You laugh with  delight  as  it
ful  glances  at  the   spurned  flips   and   jumps  and  rolls
corn.   Go checkout the corn at  around in your hand like a lit-
the altar: Goto 21 Listen in on  tle jumping  bean!  It  finally
some of the adults: Goto 13      settles  down,  stands  up, and
                                 points to a spot at  the  tree-
6                                line,  commanding  you  forward
                                 like George Washington crossing
You play hide and seek. You are  the  Delaware.  You  shrug  and
so  good  at  hiding  that  the  start  walking  that direction,
other  kids never find you. You  and the whelp impatiently  hops
eventually get tired  and  fall  down  to lead you forward. Goto
asleep,  but  not for too long:  27
your snoring wakes you up.  You
decide  to  leave  and seek out
other Harvest Festival festivi-
ties. Goto 14















                               -3-


10                               13

You join in the games. A  bunch  You sneak up behind a couple of
of your friends are here: Three  the  old  aunties and drop some
Fingered    Gerald,   Eccentric  eaves on them.  You  are  super
Kevin, Dale. Even  Standard  Ed  stealthy!  They are whisper ar-
has  come out to play! It's the  guing about  whether  the  Corn
Harvest Festival after all!  If  Mother  has  abandoned  us, and
you  choose  to  play tag, goto  whether  that  means  the  corn
11. If you play  hide-and-seek,  beast  will  leave.  Leave!  It
goto  6.  If you play Lava Mon-  can't leave! Without  the  corn
ster, goto 26.                   beast,  there will be nobody to
                                 protect the  fields!  We'll  be
11                               totally defenseless! Goto 25

You have a fantastic time play-  14
ing tag. Three Fingered  Gerald
plays  a little too rough, tag-  You  run through the streets of
ging the other  kids  too  hard  Cobbtown  toward   the   plaza.
and knocking them over. But you  Every  year during the harvest,
are too fast for Three Fingered  you set aside a portion of  the
Gerald.  They  never catch you.  harvest  for  the  Corn Mother.
You all have a great time,  and  And the night before  the  Har-
then   you   decide  to  scurry  vest  Festival, the Corn Mother
along. Goto 14                   comes and takes  the  offering,
                                 and  in  the  morning everybody
12                               wakes up and there are lots  of
                                 presents and feasting and danc-
You step into the forest. Gulp!  ing! It's the best! Goto 5.
You don't know anybody who  has
ever been in the forest. Nobody  15
from Cobbtown has ever left the
fields  as far as you know. You  So  what  are  we  going  to do
step  carefully  as  the  whelp  about it, you ask? We're  going
dances  as  around  your  feet,  to  break free of the narrative
lunging and thrusting with  its  is  what  we're  going  to  do.
thorn. You try not to worry too  Here's the plan.  Have you ever
much about the omininous shapes  heard  of an "ahnentafel"? It's
and   sounds  coming  from  the  a compact genealogical  number-
pooling shadows to either  side  ing  system  that  ... you know
of  the  trail.  To stay on the  what, forget it. Not important.
path, goto 20. To step off  the  Here's the part that's relevant
path and explore, goto 23        to you: even numbers  are  male
                                 relatives of the subject of the
                                 ahnentafel. Odd numbers are fe-
                                 males.   What  does any of this
                                 have  to  with  anything?  It's
                                 your escape hatch. Whenever you
                                 are  given a choice of options,
                                 always choose  an  odd  number.
                                 That's it. That's the plan. Now
                                 let's get you out of here. Goto
                                 0.










                               -4-


16                               19

You tell the whelp to get lost.  You're smart to believe me. You
Shoo! Skedaddle, crabapple! You  must have already felt it  deep
gently  nudge  the  corn  whelp  down. Like your free choice was
away with  your  foot,  and  it  an illusion, like your your de-
topples  over.  It jumps up and  cisions  are  all  leading  you
pulls  out  a  long  thorn  and  down a predetermined path. Well
stabs  you  in  the foot. Ouch!  you're right. And you  can  see
You  little  rascal!  You  bend  it  for  yourself:  go back and
down  to scoop the whelp up and  try the alternate path and  see
give it what for, but it  skit-  what  happens.  Afterward, come
ters  away and scampers off to-  back and goto 15.
ward the treeline. Follow  that
whelp! Goto 27.                  20

17                               good idea

Okay  you got this. Take a cou-  21
ple of deep breaths. There  you
go.  This  doesn't  necessarily  omg it's just lying there!  Why
mean that the Corn  Mother  has  has  the  Corn  Mother forsaken
turned  her back on you and the  us? What  does  it  mean?  What
rest of the village. She proba-  will  we do? To go into a panic
bly hasn't withdrawn  her  pro-  goto 25. To  remain  calm  goto
tection  from  you, leaving you  17.
open to attack  from  the  dire
crows, right? Right? Goto 25.    22

18                               You feel something bump against
                                 your  ankle.  You  look down to
You  run back home and hide un-  see  a  corn  whelp.  A  kernel
der your  bed.  Eventually  you  sprite. A sort of golem made of
hear  throaty,  gurggling  caws  dried  kernels  and  corn  husk
and the thundering  beating  of  tied together with golden corn-
wings as the dire crows descend  silk.  There's  only  one  corn
on  the  town. Without the corn  beast  as  far as anyone knows.
beast to scare them away,  they  But there are dozens and dozens
rip  most  of  the  village  to  of these  little  fellas.  This
pieces. THE END                  one is pawing and scratching at
                                 you.  Goto 9 to pick the little
                                 guy up. To tell  the  whelp  to
                                 scram goto 16




















                               -5-


23                               25

You  step off the worn path and  You  scream  and  panic and run
push  your  way  through  dense  around  in  circles  until  you
growth.   Twigs   and  brambles  trip  and  fall  down. You have
snatch at your ankles  and  el-  dirtied  up  your  clothes  and
bows  and brush none too gently  skinned  you  knee.  One of the
against your cheeks.  One  such  old aunties  nearby  clucks  at
brush  of  the  cheek  is espe-  you  disapprovingly.  You  pick
cially sticky and  grabby.  You  yourself up and  dust  yourself
swat  at  your  cheek  and your  off, patting yourself down. And
hand  comes  away  sticky.  You  you feel the small corn rock in
look  up and find that you have  your   pocket.  You  clutch  it
nearly walked right  smack  dab  tight in your fist and  squeeze
into  an  enormous messy spider  your  eyes  shut. If you decide
web. It  spans  tree  trunk  to  to go look for the  corn  beast
tree  trunk,  connecting half a  goto 2. If you go home and hide
dozen large trees in  a  sloppy  under your bed goto 18.
woven tapestry. Up above you, a
large  black  and yellow spider  26
appears to be dozing.  Back  to
the  path! Goto 12.  Cautiously  No.  You should never play Lava
walk around the web,  goto  29.  Monster. Go back to 10.
Get  out your corn butter knife
and start hacking and slashing!  27
Goto 28
                                 The treeline is thick and over-
24                               grown. Usually  there's  hardly
                                 any  way  into the woods unless
Do you feel empowered and free?  you  can  find  a  small   game
Like  you  made  a   meaningful  trail.  Except  now  there is a
choice? Go back and try the al-  rather large,  perfectly  round
ternate  path and see what hap-  circular  opening  cut  through
pens. Then come back  and  goto  the trees, bushes,  grass,  and
15 when you're ready.            vines.  Goto  18  to  nope away
                                 back home. To venture down  the
                                 weird  circular  path  into the
                                 forest, goto 12.

                                 28

                                 You get out  your  trusty  corn
                                 knife and start slashing at the
                                 web  with reckless abandon! The
                                 giant spider  swoops  down  and
                                 puts  a  quick stop to such un-
                                 sanctioned bafoonery.  You  are
                                 paralyzed   and   cocooned  and
                                 don't even  feel  it  when  the
                                 spider's  venom  jellifies your
                                 insides. THE END.












                               -6-


29

you  start  to  sneak  sneakily
around the web
























































