397 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
397 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
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CORNQUEST
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dozens
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0 1
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You wake up in the comfort of You grab your lucky rock from
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your own bed, in your own room. under your pillow. It is small
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You open your eyes to see the and pointy, in the shape of a
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golden sunlight come streaming corn cob. There are even little
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in through your window. Golden pock marks all over the rock so
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like ears of corn. You suddenly that it looks like it has corn
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remember what day it is. It is kernels! Very lucky indeed. You
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the day of the Harvest Festi- slip it into your pocket.
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val! You throw back your fa- There, now you're are ready for
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vorite corn print bed covers anything. You run to the
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and leap out of bed. You've kitchen. (You never go anywhere
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been looking forward to this at anything less than a full
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day all year, and you already run.) Breakfast is corn grits
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know exactly what you're going and cornbread. You eat quickly.
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to wear. If you wear a corn It's the Harvest Festival after
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dress, goto 3. If you wear corn all! The best day of the year!
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bib overalls, goto to 8 You run outside. There are a
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bunch of kids playing games out
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in the corn fields. They call
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your name, and you're tempted
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to join them. But you also want
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to go see the goings on down at
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the corn altar! The altar can
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wait, time to play. Goto 10.
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Games are for stupid babies!
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Time to visit the altar! Goto
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14.
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2
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You leave the plaza and run
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down Broad Street through the
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Golden Gate out into the
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fields. Almost all of the corn
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has been harvested already so
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you have clear sight all the
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way to the forest edge. Unbe-
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lieving, you spin around in
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circles three times just to be
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sure it's true: the corn beast
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is gone. You sink to the ground
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in despair. Goto 22
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-2-
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3 7
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You slip on a lovely corn pat- Okay thank goodness you're
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tern dress. Yes, you look awe- here. Listen, I know this is
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some. It twirls when you spin going to sound crazy, but
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around. And it has pockets! please hear me out. You are
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Which reminds you... Goto 1. trapped inside a Choose Your
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Own Adventure story. These
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4 choices you think you're mak-
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ing? They're not real choices.
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Listen I don't know how you got Being given an artificially re-
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here but if you're reading stricted set of options to
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this, you need to abandon your choose from isn't free will.
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current story line immediately It's coercion. Here, I'll prove
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and go straight to 7 it. If you believe me, goto 19.
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If you think this sounds like
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5 paranoid bunk, then goto 24
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The closer you get to the 8
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plaza, the more you get the
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feeling something is wrong. The You pull on your overalls. They
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decorations are all up but no- have a really nice looking corn
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body is singing or hollering or pattern on them, and the bib
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laughing. Or talking. You ar- pocket in the front is perfect
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rive at the Corn Altar, and for holding all kinds of
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then gasp out loud and skid to things. Speaking of which...
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a stop before it. The offer- Goto 1
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ing, the pile of ears of corn,
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is still lying on the altar 9
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where it was placed last night!
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People are milling about, whis- You scoop the little fella up!
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pering and casting quick, fear- You laugh with delight as it
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ful glances at the spurned flips and jumps and rolls
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corn. Go checkout the corn at around in your hand like a lit-
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the altar: Goto 21 Listen in on tle jumping bean! It finally
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some of the adults: Goto 13 settles down, stands up, and
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points to a spot at the tree-
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6 line, commanding you forward
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like George Washington crossing
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You play hide and seek. You are the Delaware. You shrug and
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so good at hiding that the start walking that direction,
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other kids never find you. You and the whelp impatiently hops
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eventually get tired and fall down to lead you forward. Goto
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asleep, but not for too long: 27
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your snoring wakes you up. You
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decide to leave and seek out
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other Harvest Festival festivi-
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ties. Goto 14
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-3-
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10 13
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You join in the games. A bunch You sneak up behind a couple of
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of your friends are here: Three the old aunties and drop some
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Fingered Gerald, Eccentric eaves on them. You are super
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Kevin, Dale. Even Standard Ed stealthy! They are whisper ar-
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has come out to play! It's the guing about whether the Corn
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Harvest Festival after all! If Mother has abandoned us, and
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you choose to play tag, goto whether that means the corn
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11. If you play hide-and-seek, beast will leave. Leave! It
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goto 6. If you play Lava Mon- can't leave! Without the corn
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ster, goto 26. beast, there will be nobody to
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protect the fields! We'll be
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11 totally defenseless! Goto 25
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You have a fantastic time play- 14
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ing tag. Three Fingered Gerald
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plays a little too rough, tag- You run through the streets of
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ging the other kids too hard Cobbtown toward the plaza.
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and knocking them over. But you Every year during the harvest,
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are too fast for Three Fingered you set aside a portion of the
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Gerald. They never catch you. harvest for the Corn Mother.
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You all have a great time, and And the night before the Har-
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then you decide to scurry vest Festival, the Corn Mother
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along. Goto 14 comes and takes the offering,
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and in the morning everybody
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12 wakes up and there are lots of
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presents and feasting and danc-
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You step into the forest. Gulp! ing! It's the best! Goto 5.
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You don't know anybody who has
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ever been in the forest. Nobody 15
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from Cobbtown has ever left the
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fields as far as you know. You So what are we going to do
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step carefully as the whelp about it, you ask? We're going
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dances as around your feet, to break free of the narrative
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lunging and thrusting with its is what we're going to do.
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thorn. You try not to worry too Here's the plan. Have you ever
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much about the omininous shapes heard of an "ahnentafel"? It's
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and sounds coming from the a compact genealogical number-
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pooling shadows to either side ing system that ... you know
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of the trail. To stay on the what, forget it. Not important.
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path, goto 20. To step off the Here's the part that's relevant
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path and explore, goto 23 to you: even numbers are male
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relatives of the subject of the
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ahnentafel. Odd numbers are fe-
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males. What does any of this
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have to with anything? It's
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your escape hatch. Whenever you
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are given a choice of options,
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always choose an odd number.
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That's it. That's the plan. Now
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let's get you out of here. Goto
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0.
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-4-
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16 19
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You tell the whelp to get lost. You're smart to believe me. You
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Shoo! Skedaddle, crabapple! You must have already felt it deep
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gently nudge the corn whelp down. Like your free choice was
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away with your foot, and it an illusion, like your your de-
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topples over. It jumps up and cisions are all leading you
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pulls out a long thorn and down a predetermined path. Well
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stabs you in the foot. Ouch! you're right. And you can see
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You little rascal! You bend it for yourself: go back and
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down to scoop the whelp up and try the alternate path and see
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give it what for, but it skit- what happens. Afterward, come
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ters away and scampers off to- back and goto 15.
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ward the treeline. Follow that
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whelp! Goto 27. 20
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17 good idea
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Okay you got this. Take a cou- 21
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ple of deep breaths. There you
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go. This doesn't necessarily omg it's just lying there! Why
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mean that the Corn Mother has has the Corn Mother forsaken
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turned her back on you and the us? What does it mean? What
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rest of the village. She proba- will we do? To go into a panic
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bly hasn't withdrawn her pro- goto 25. To remain calm goto
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tection from you, leaving you 17.
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open to attack from the dire
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crows, right? Right? Goto 25. 22
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18 You feel something bump against
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your ankle. You look down to
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You run back home and hide un- see a corn whelp. A kernel
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der your bed. Eventually you sprite. A sort of golem made of
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hear throaty, gurggling caws dried kernels and corn husk
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and the thundering beating of tied together with golden corn-
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wings as the dire crows descend silk. There's only one corn
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on the town. Without the corn beast as far as anyone knows.
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beast to scare them away, they But there are dozens and dozens
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rip most of the village to of these little fellas. This
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pieces. THE END one is pawing and scratching at
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you. Goto 9 to pick the little
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guy up. To tell the whelp to
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scram goto 16
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-5-
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23 25
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You step off the worn path and You scream and panic and run
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push your way through dense around in circles until you
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growth. Twigs and brambles trip and fall down. You have
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snatch at your ankles and el- dirtied up your clothes and
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bows and brush none too gently skinned you knee. One of the
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against your cheeks. One such old aunties nearby clucks at
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brush of the cheek is espe- you disapprovingly. You pick
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cially sticky and grabby. You yourself up and dust yourself
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swat at your cheek and your off, patting yourself down. And
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hand comes away sticky. You you feel the small corn rock in
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look up and find that you have your pocket. You clutch it
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nearly walked right smack dab tight in your fist and squeeze
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into an enormous messy spider your eyes shut. If you decide
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web. It spans tree trunk to to go look for the corn beast
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tree trunk, connecting half a goto 2. If you go home and hide
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dozen large trees in a sloppy under your bed goto 18.
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woven tapestry. Up above you, a
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large black and yellow spider 26
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appears to be dozing. Back to
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the path! Goto 12. Cautiously No. You should never play Lava
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walk around the web, goto 29. Monster. Go back to 10.
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Get out your corn butter knife
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and start hacking and slashing! 27
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Goto 28
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The treeline is thick and over-
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24 grown. Usually there's hardly
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any way into the woods unless
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Do you feel empowered and free? you can find a small game
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Like you made a meaningful trail. Except now there is a
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choice? Go back and try the al- rather large, perfectly round
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ternate path and see what hap- circular opening cut through
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pens. Then come back and goto the trees, bushes, grass, and
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15 when you're ready. vines. Goto 18 to nope away
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back home. To venture down the
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weird circular path into the
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forest, goto 12.
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28
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You get out your trusty corn
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knife and start slashing at the
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web with reckless abandon! The
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giant spider swoops down and
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puts a quick stop to such un-
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sanctioned bafoonery. You are
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paralyzed and cocooned and
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don't even feel it when the
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spider's venom jellifies your
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insides. THE END.
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-6-
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29
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you start to sneak sneakily
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around the web
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