(@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
ya see, some people go real fast 
and other people they go real slow 
yeah that's it doncha know 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
yeah that's the real root cause of most 
workplace conflict 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
...and that's how I became a YAML engineer. 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
To be honest, I'm not sure it's a real job either. 
But they keep giving me YAML and I keep 
ENGINEERING it! 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
So did you watch the Super Bowl? 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
Yeah, me neither. 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
Did you know that one of the very first 
television advertisements during the 
AFL–NFL World Championship Game was for 
Budweiser beer? 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
Yep! I guess you could say it was a SUPER BOWL 
PROTO AD! 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
Who even ever asked for or wanted an information 
SUPERHIGHWAY anyway? 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
All I want is like a small cute remote 
information HIKING TRAIL somewhere out in the 
woods where I can see some flowers and leaves and 
listen to the birds and stuff. 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
Is there even such a thing as "mainstream" 
anymore? I mean it used to be the case that 
everybody watched the same nightly news and 
listened to the same radio station. And 
"counterculture" was growing your hair long 
and listening to rock and roll. Now the duality 
of mainstream vs. counterculture seems as 
quaint as the idea that there are only two 
genders or only two sexes. Kids don't listen to 
rock & roll to rebel, they listen to soundcloud 
emo rap, or whatever, and if the niche sound that 
speaks directly to them doesn't exist, they can 
invent it and upload it for the world to hear with 
little more than a cheap laptop. 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
At the other end of the LONG TAIL of the internet 
is a metaphorical infosec furry, and because of 
them there are as many small STREAMS and 
countercultures as there are individual 
people. 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}
 (~~~~)    ./)_)
 (>vv<)      " "

     \
       there should be no such thing
       as billionaires

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./)_)
 (>vv<)      " "

 (@)(@)     {0,0}
 (~~~~)    ./)_)
 (>vv<)      " "

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
There was a sense of euphoria while we were in 
flow, like we were invinsible, but afterwards 
everything seemed brittle and fragile like it 
was held together with duct tape and kite string 
and like it might all come crumbling down if the 
wind blew in from the wrong direction. And there 
we were in the aftermath, unsure whether we 
accomplished our goals, who we hurt in the 
process, or if there was anything good about it 
all. 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
So anyway that's what we call a "hackathon". The 
tech bros invited me to "do some lines" and at 
this point I can't remember if it was code or 
coke. 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
So I picked up a book in the middle of this epic 
fantasy series. It's by this author who I heard 
does really good sword and sorcery stories, and 
I'm into that. Anyway the story opens on a 
tragic, lonely noble lord, last of his line, 
subject to disfigurement because of the family 
curse and whatnot. But, get this, it totally 
takes place in Old Germany during the rise of the 
Nazi party! 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
I was so disoriented that I looked it up, and 
there will eventually be a classic fantasy 
storyline that interweaves with the modern 
nazi storyline. 
 
Which means eventually the hero is literally 
going ride a dragon to Hitler's bunker and punch 
him in the face and if there's one thing this 
world needs more of, it's mother fucking 
dragons beating the shit out of nazis. 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
a guy was looking for a priest to officiate his 
wedding and narrowed it down to his final two 
choices. the first one walked in with two 
beetles and started praying over the bugs. the 
second one started spraying everybody with 
holy water from a water gun. Know who he chose? 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
He chose the blesser of two weevils 
 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
So I was down by the capitol and I noticed some 
kind of protest was happening. I saw a couple 
people wearing US flags and thought to myself, 
ew, probably a bunch of treasonous right-wing 
fundamentalist bastards. Which, you know, is 
always the first thing you think when you see 
somebody wearing the US flag. But then I saw 
somebody holding a "My Body My Choice" sign and 
thought, aw, it must be some pro-choicers! And I 
decided to get a little closer to check it out. 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
I got close enough to see a bunch of the other 
signs and they were all like, "No Jab! No 
Vaccine!" and that's when I knew I had been 
tricked. It WAS a bunch of treasonous 
right-wing fundamentalist bastards! I said 
"ew" again and turned around and ran away. 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
Ed is the standard text editor! 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
? 
? 
? 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
You can't fathom the unfathomable. 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
You can't derstand the understandable! 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
So there's this librarian who logged into a 
remote server to tell everybody on irc to keep 
the chatter down 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
It was a ssh shh 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
dang it yall hvae me writing a bunch of other fun 
stuff in there 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
I wonder if i can find something somebody calls 
home 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
Having fun isn't hard! 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
... when you have a library card! 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
today, I'm playing camp counselor at work and 
also facing the reality I need to upgrade my very 
old cell phone 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
hahaha, one is just emotional, the other is me 
doing the emotional labor of redirecting other 
folks energies so that they don't do a murder or 
something 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
hello my friends wit hshell access 

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  -- Hoo?
 (~~~~)    ./) )          
 (>vv<)      " "          

 (@)(@)     {0,0}  
 (~~~~)    ./) )   
 (>vv<)      " "   
                   
     \             
but my mood is good, which trumps everything