++Inky blinks down at their pinecrab apple leather boots consideringly. “Tea’s got the fanciest footgear, but at least we aren’t sporting fetid foot fungi like stockings. Maybe we could persuade the egre to let us through? It might set us back half a day trying to find any kobit holes that aren’t just non-portable potties.”
+
You look down at your boots. How serendipitous that you just had them shined by the blahoblins! You feel confident in your footwear.
+++Corraidhín: I may have a solution to the Egre problem. I gesture grandly, as it so happens I always come prepared for a fashion show.
+With a grand gesture I cast a spell to transform my robes into a stunning suit, complete with top hat, monocle, and cane
+I’m certain we can convince the fine fellow to let us pass if we look the part. Or better yet, I’m almost certain I can distract him while the rest of you sneak past, I’ve been told I can be quite verbose and boisterous.
+
Corraidhín successfully conjures up a stunning suit, surely the envy of every dandy, fop, and gentleman in the southern continent, if not all of Basmentaria!
+A nearby gnome gets flush, starts to fan herself excitedly, and then explodes dramatically.
+++“A splendid idea, with an equally splendid outfit to match!” Inky exclaimed. “Then, shall we proceed? Master Corraidhín, at your signal.”
+
You proceed down into the gnome hole.
+Retrieval Team 70 glares at you from behind their smoked glass goggles as you zip line past them. They continue their slow, defeated climb up the scaffolding. Vest shakes its gopher fist at you and swears, “You haven’t seen the last of us, Retrieval Team 43!”
+At the bottom, on solid ground, you approach the entrance to the kobit caves.
+Standing guard at the entrance to the kobit tunnels is a massive egre, a fearsome bird beast, muscles rippling and bulging beneath its beautiful white plumage. It turns its head and regards you with one jet black eye and then the other, snapping its sharp beak in the air as it tosses its head back and forth.
+It looks you up and down, and its gaze rests on your freshly polished shoes. It huffs and grunts, “Your shoes look clean.” It rests its scrutinizing gaze on Corraidhín’s garments. “And YOU look FABULOUS!” it exclaims as it tosses its head and beats it wings excitedly.
+“You may enter.” It graciously steps aside with a flourish.
+The smallest of you can stand upright in the kobit tunnels. The largest of you have to crawl.
+Kobits are small, vaguely mammalian, vaguely reptilian bipedal cave creatures. They are scaly and furry, and live in tunnels deep in the earth. They have huge yellow eyes, and long fine whiskers on their snouts and faces, all of which help them find their way around in the dark. They also have long, thick, coarse, drooping mustaches. The overall effect is that they look like tiny, monstrous, perpetually startled cowboys.
+You follow the winding tunnel down into the earth.
+You come around a corner and almost bump right into a kobit. It has eyes like saucers and an awe-inspiring mustache. It wears a name tag (“Corey”) and carries a clipboard. It blinks at you in surprise and then asks, “Who are you? What are you doing in here?” Corey flips through the pages on its clipboard. “There are no upsiders scheduled to arrive today. I don’t think you’re supposed to be here!” Corey glances around nervously with its huge eyes and looks about ready to cry out for help.
+WHAT DO YOU DO?
+ + ]]> +--“And jolly good polish too, it looks like,” Inky replies, squinting a bit at the ichor being smeared onto the boots in Earrings’ large calloused hands. “I hear there be some gnomes hereabouts? A camp? With your remarkable service, I bet they’d be coming to you all the time to get their boots cleaned.”
-
“GNOMES!?” Earrings interrobangs loudly and questioningly. It brings its hands to the sides of its face, covering its ear holes, and wags its oversized head in dismay, squeezing its tiny eyes shut. In the process, it smears polish around its face.
-“Gnomes there!” shouts Waistcoat. Its hands busy polishing, it tosses its head, gesturing with its prodigious proboscis in the direction you were heading. You continue to hear bangs and booms in the distance every once a while.
---Glarg gurgles something to the effect of “gluggurguuuurglaaaachhhh?” Its stance is one of surprise as its disposition changes to that of inquisition as its head cranes down to look at the blahoblin carrying the smelly rock on its back.
-
Teeth looks questioningly up at Glarg and experimentally gargles back up at it. “GURGLE BURBLE GLUG GLUG?” It smiles apologetically (a fearsome sight, its protruding jaws full of tiny pointy teeth) and shrugs and asks, “Shoe shine?”
---It attempts to pick that whole blahoblin up and bring the smelly rock to its face for a closer inspection.
-
“WAAAAAAH!” Teeth kicks its feet ineffectively and is quite helplessly tied to the big smelly rock when Glarg picks it up. The smelly rock smells pungent, sharp, earthy, moldy. Definitely could be food.
-By this time the blahoblins have polished the shoes of everybody who has consented to it, and are packing up. Except for Teeth who is being detained by the earth elemental.
-Red Shoes reappears from wherever they have been this whole time with a sly smile and rejoins its comrades.
-Your pockets have successfully been picked while you were distracted with the shoe shine, but not of anything of particular value.
-What small item(s) will you notice is missing in the hours and days to come? How will its absence be a minor inconvenience?
- - ]]> -“Congratulations!” The slightly tipsy hobbit grins and salutes you with his martini. “On Retrieval Team 43’s inaugural mission! I’m so excited for you, I’m sure you’ll do fantastic!”
-You are all seated around a table in the corner at Lucy’s Basement. It is dimly lit and fairly noisy. The walls are covered in red velvet curtains, and the tablecloths have little gold tassels. A cloud of purple smoke from candles, cigars, and pipes hangs in the air. Waiters bustle between tables refilling drinks.
-“So to recap, the Benefactor has tasked you with retrieving the five fabled Ginnarak Crystals. I, Blavin Blandfoot, will be your case manager. You will be paid handsomely for each crystal you retrieve. And if you retrieve all 5, you’ll get to meet the Benefactor at be their guest at their glorious mansion!”
-“The first crystal has been spotted near a Gnomish dig site in the Tammineaux Forest, just east of here.”
-“I recommend getting started right away!” He polishes off his drink and squints at his empty glass. “Well, maybe first thing in the morning. Waiter!”
-“Congratulations!” The slightly tipsy hobbit grins and salutes you with his martini. “On Retrieval Team 43’s inaugural mission! I’m so excited for you, I’m sure you’ll do fantastic!”
+You are all seated around a table in the corner at Lucy’s Basement. It is dimly lit and fairly noisy. The walls are covered in red velvet curtains, and the tablecloths have little gold tassels. A cloud of purple smoke from candles, cigars, and pipes hangs in the air. Waiters bustle between tables refilling drinks.
+“So to recap, the Benefactor has tasked you with retrieving the five fabled Ginnarak Crystals. I, Blavin Blandfoot, will be your case manager. You will be paid handsomely for each crystal you retrieve. And if you retrieve all 5, you’ll get to meet the Benefactor at be their guest at their glorious mansion!”
+“The first crystal has been spotted near a Gnomish dig site in the Tammineaux Forest, just east of here.”
+“I recommend getting started right away!” He polishes off his drink and squints at his empty glass. “Well, maybe first thing in the morning. Waiter!”
+++“And jolly good polish too, it looks like,” Inky replies, squinting a bit at the ichor being smeared onto the boots in Earrings’ large calloused hands. “I hear there be some gnomes hereabouts? A camp? With your remarkable service, I bet they’d be coming to you all the time to get their boots cleaned.”
+
“GNOMES!?” Earrings interrobangs loudly and questioningly. It brings its hands to the sides of its face, covering its ear holes, and wags its oversized head in dismay, squeezing its tiny eyes shut. In the process, it smears polish around its face.
+“Gnomes there!” shouts Waistcoat. Its hands busy polishing, it tosses its head, gesturing with its prodigious proboscis in the direction you were heading. You continue to hear bangs and booms in the distance every once a while.
+++Glarg gurgles something to the effect of “gluggurguuuurglaaaachhhh?” Its stance is one of surprise as its disposition changes to that of inquisition as its head cranes down to look at the blahoblin carrying the smelly rock on its back.
+
Teeth looks questioningly up at Glarg and experimentally gargles back up at it. “GURGLE BURBLE GLUG GLUG?” It smiles apologetically (a fearsome sight, its protruding jaws full of tiny pointy teeth) and shrugs and asks, “Shoe shine?”
+++It attempts to pick that whole blahoblin up and bring the smelly rock to its face for a closer inspection.
+
“WAAAAAAH!” Teeth kicks its feet ineffectively and is quite helplessly tied to the big smelly rock when Glarg picks it up. The smelly rock smells pungent, sharp, earthy, moldy. Definitely could be food.
+By this time the blahoblins have polished the shoes of everybody who has consented to it, and are packing up. Except for Teeth who is being detained by the earth elemental.
+Red Shoes reappears from wherever they have been this whole time with a sly smile and rejoins its comrades.
+Your pockets have successfully been picked while you were distracted with the shoe shine, but not of anything of particular value.
+What small item(s) will you notice is missing in the hours and days to come? How will its absence be a minor inconvenience?
+ + ]]> +Blavin is a secret agent, working for the Golden Iris, a secret society that wants to ‘create balance’ by seating a fourth god
Nullar got tired of being a god and wanted to die, and Neddas agreed to help him. Shit went bad and turned Liandt to stone, and Nullar’s leg to stone.
Now Nullar is trying to gather the Ginnarak crystals to assemble the God Slayer to attempt once more to end his own life.
+The gang has a rival: the gophers of Retrieval Team 70