Crypto is short for Cryptography

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Crypto used to be cool. It had edge. It felt dangerous. Sharing cryptography with someone on the internet could violate international arms treaties. But then, like so many cool terms before and after, a bunch of people who wanted to be rich came along and just about ruined everything.

The cryptography of the past still exists. It's still strong as ever. It even comes in e2e messaging apps so slick that your mom can use them. But sometimes I want it to be crunchy. I want a command so ugly that I can barely get it to work and that dumps out an incomprehensible stream of bits when I get it wrong. I could have been a cypherpunk. Well, not really. I was an angsty teen at around the right time but I was stuck in the sticks with no computer.

PGP, cryptograms, Vigenère, pigpen... they're all cooler than any coin. They're more fun than a contract so mathematically smart you can almost forget it relies on an actual person to fulfil it. So let's make and break pen-and-paper cyphers together. Copy my public key from below and import it into your ring. Generate your own. Sign mine. Use them to email me a bad poem about encryption. It will be a poem the CIA couldn't read if every agent tried. The technology is every bit ours as much as theirs. We can use it.

PUNENPGREF CRECYRK

GUR FRPERG GB HAQREFGNAQ

EBGNGR OL GUVEGRRA