371 lines
15 KiB
Plaintext
371 lines
15 KiB
Plaintext
SESSION #17 - MUSHROOM SAMBA
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Written By Michiko Yokote & Shinichiro Watanabe
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Dialogue Translation By Bandai Entertainment, INC.
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Transcript By RFBlues
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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OPENING CREDITS
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The Bebop floats fueless in Io space.
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The Bebop living room. Jet presents an empty box to the crew.
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JET: This was the most special of the special. It was an emergency ration
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for true emergencies that was saved for the last of the last resorts.
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All I'm asking is who ate this.
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SPIKE: Grudges over food sure are scary.
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JET: Spike, by perchance, was it you?
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SPIKE: If I was the culprit, I wouldn't leave the empty box lying around
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like that.
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ED: Ed is hungry.
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FAYE: Maybe you ate it yourself, but are pretending to be upset because
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we found the empty box?
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JET: What?!
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FAYE: We haven't had anything to eat for two whole days! Don't you call a
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situation like this an emergency?!
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SPIKE: I wanna eat stuff like fried beefun noodles...
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JET: We're outta gas! We can't do anything about it! If you could hold out
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like this a bit longer we'll reach Europa soon thanks to inertia.
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ED: Tummy's caving in!
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FAYE: If only we could use that energy to propel ourselves...
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JET: You keep mouthing off like that and I'll toss you out into absolute
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zero.
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SPIKE: And a stir-fry of liver and chives would be good, too...
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FAYE: Sounds good. At least it's better than aimlessly floating around this
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place.
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Ed finds a pistachio nut in her pocket. She takes off the shell and
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prepares to eat it. The rest stare at her ravenously. Ed screams.
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A large triangular ship crashes into Bebop. The nut slips from Ed's
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fingers.
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Ein eats the nut.
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FAYE: That was some collision...
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Jet tries to contact the ship.
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JET: Hey! Can you hear me? Answer me! Hey!
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The ship jets off.
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FAYE: Isn't this a hit-and-run?!
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The Bebop is suddenly pulled into Io's gravitational field.
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JET: This is bad! The shock from that collision changed our trajectory...
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SPIKE: What did what to who?
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FAYE: What's going on?!
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The Bebop crash-lands on Io.
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Session #17
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MUSHROOM SAMBA
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The Bebop control room.
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ED: Huh?
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FAYE: Wow... Where is this place? This is so uncivilized!
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SPIKE: I don't think that's our problem...
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JET: We have to start by checking the ship. Can you go get some food?
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Faye suddenly looks uneasy. She grabs her stomach.
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JET: What?
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FAYE: I suddenly feel... a stabbing pain...
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JET: What are you trying to pull?
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Faye runs into the bathroom. Ein pushes the empty box to Jet. Jet picks it
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up and examines the bottom.
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JET: This expired a year ago...
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SPIKE: I'm glad I didn't eat it.
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JET: Serves you right. This is divine retribution!
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They're stomachs rumble.
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JET: Let's get to it...
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The Engine Room. Jet and Spike examine the smoking engine.
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SPIKE: Whatcha gonna do?
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Ed pops up.
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ED: Ed will help too!
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Ed tugs at the handlebars. They break off.
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SPIKE: We're fine here, so go outside and find us some food.
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ED: Okay!
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Ed skips off.
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The rotating part of the ship. Ed puts on a pair of socks.
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ED: Gotta wear my socks to go out, to go out.
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Ed slips and falls. She takes off the socks.
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The Great Io Desert. Ed and Ein wander aimlessly. They lie down.
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ED: Nothing here...
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The triangular ship flies overhead.
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ED: It's that hit-and-run ship!
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Ed and Ein chase after it.
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ED: Wait, wait! Wait, wait!
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The ship flies out of sight.
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ED: Wait, wait!
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Ed stops. She picks up a scent. ED: Smell...
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Ed and Ein sniff around.
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ED: Smell... food...
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Following the trail they find a watermelon vender with a truck full of
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melons.
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ED: FOOD!
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They run to the truck.
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ED: Gimme!
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MELON MAN: 1000 Woolongs each, including tax. Cash only. No money cards or
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cash cards allowed.
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ED: I don't have money.
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MELON MAN: Then hurry home, kid.
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A slick sports car pulls up. Coffee, a tall attractive woman with an afro,
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walks out.
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COFFEE: Can I have one?
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MELON MAN: 1000 Woolongs each. Cash only. Cards are -
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The man notices Ed and Ein salivating in front of the watermelons.
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MELON MAN: Kid, no use staring. If you want food, go someplace like the
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town.
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Coffee hands the man a 1000-Woolong bill.
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COFFEE: I don't need change. In exchange...
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She flashes a picture of a man with a phone number written on the bottom.
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COFFEE: If you see this man, gimme a call. Thanks!
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The man takes the bill. Coffee takes a watermelon. Coffee drives off. Ed
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and Ein stow aboard the car in the trunk.
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Coffee stops at a gas station. Two policemen approach her.
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OFFICER A: Excuse us.
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OFFICER B: We would like to check your baggage.
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COFFEE: Something wrong?
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OFFICER A: Apparently, a broker on the wanted list for illegal mushroom
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sales made a getaway to this town.
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COFFEE: What a coincidence. I'm after that bounty as well.
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OFFICER A: A cowboy?
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OFFICER B: We're gonna check out your trunk.
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COFFEE: Go ahead, feel free.
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They open the trunk. To the surprise of all of them they find Ed and Ein
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asleep.
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OFFICER A: Hey!
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OFFICER B: All right! FREEZE!
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The policeman pull out their guns and handcuffs.
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COFFEE: Now, wait a minute -
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OFFICER A: All right, stay still -
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COFFEE: I don't know anything about this!
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OFFICER A: Turn around! Hands on the ground!
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COFFEE: What are you doing?!
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OFFICER B: Now put your hands on the ground!
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COFFEE: Let go of me!!
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OFFICER B: HURRY UP!
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Ed and Ein wake from the commotion and slip away onto the streets.
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Ed and Ein. walk into the city.
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ED: Food, food, do you have any? Oh, you don't? Oh, you do? Boy, am I
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hungry...
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They spot the mushroom dealer, Domino, carrying a bag. He eats a hotdog. Ed
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and Ein rush toward him.
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ED: Meanie!
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DOMINO: What?
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Ed grabs him.
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ED: Gimme! Gimme something!
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DOMINO: Dammit, stop hanging all over me!
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A man dragging a coffin behind him by a rope approaches Domino.
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SHAFT BROTHER: HEY! I won't let you tell me you forgot who I am, Domino!
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DOMINO: Let's see...
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SHAFT BROTHER: Come on! Remember, dammit! I'm the younger of the Shaft
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Brothers that bought mushrooms from you!
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DOMINO: I really can't recall...
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SHAFT BROTHER: You do want to know why I drag an empty coffin around like
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this, don't you? It's because I'm going to go home after
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putting your corpse inside -
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A truck drives by and runs over the coffin.
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ED: Pieces... All in pieces!
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DOMINO: What was what to who?
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SHAFT BROTHER: My big bro ate a mushroom he bought from you and laughed and
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laughed, and twisted his intestines to death!
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DOMINO: A happy way to die.
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Ed laughs.
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SHAFT BROTHER: Shut up! Speaking of which, it's all your fault!
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DOMINO: That's what I call an unjust resentment!
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ED: Ed is hungry, too!
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SHAFT BROTHER: Take THIS!
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He pulls out a grenade launcher.
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Domino runs off. Mushrooms drop from his bag.
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SHAFT BROTHER: Wait, you bastard! Dammit!
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The Shaft Brother runs after Domino.
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ED: Food!
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Ein eats one immediately.
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ED: Aah! Don't, Ein, we have to share!
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Ein hick-ups and begins to squeak uncontrollably.
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ED: Ein?
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Ed sniffs a mushroom.
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ED: Bad mushroom?
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EYECATCH
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Outside the Bebop. A plate with a single mushroom lies on top of an ironing
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board. Faye approaches it. Ed and Ein look from the shadows.
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FAYE: This for real?
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Faye takes it and eats it.
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FAYE: Delicious!
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She walks away.
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Moments later. Another plate with a single mushroom. Jet approaches it. Ed
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and Ein continue looking from the shadows.
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JET: This really can't be happening. Really. This really has no way of
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happening.
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Jet picks it up and eats it. Jet walks away satisfied.
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Moments later. Another plate with a single mushroom. Spike gives it a good
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look. He casually walks by the table and swipes the mushroom into his mouth
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while walking away. Ed and Ein continue looking from the shadows.
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The Bebop.
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Faye walks into the bathroom. She hick-ups and her eyes turn
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dull.
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Jet walks by the bonsai room. He stops at the door step, hicks-up and his
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eyes turn dull.
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The hall. Spike walks halfway up the steps leading into the control room.
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He hick-ups and his eyes turn dull. He takes a few steps forward, looks up
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and sees that his journey up the stairs is endless.
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In the bathroom. Faye sees the ceiling rise endlessly.
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The bonsai room. Jet converses with his bonsai and laughs.
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JET: Hey... You know, the world really is a great place...
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He scratches his head.
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JET: Did I just say something?
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Spike continues his journey up the stairs. He encounters a bullfrog. Spike
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stops.
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BULLFROG: Hey, mister. This is a stairway to heaven. You know that, right?
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SPIKE: An obnoxious little frog...
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Spike continues walking up.
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BULLFROG: I don't care anymore... I warned you!
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Ed and Ein watch Spike stepping on the same step over and over trying to
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get to the control room.
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The bathroom. Faye sees the mouth of the toilet bowl high above her head.
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It begins to overflow. She is submerged in water. Thousands of fish swim
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around her.
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Ed and Ein watch Faye swim the breaststroke standing up one step before the
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toilet.
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The bonsai room. Jet continues conversing with his bonsai.
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JET: Yeah, yeah, that's it. I now know the secrets of the universe.
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He laughs.
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JET: By the way... who was I?
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Ed and Ein walk by.
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ED: So these mushrooms are inedible after all...
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Ein nods and barks.
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Ed and Ein watch "Big Shot" on the monitor outside the ship.
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PUNCH: So, as you can tell, it's time for another episode of BIG SHOT!
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JUDY: We'll introduce you to more and more bounties this week! So, batting
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first for us today is...
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PUNCH: This man, Domino Walker. He's currently wanted for selling illegal
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mushrooms.
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ED: That's the guy we just saw!
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JUDY: The bounty is a conservative 1.2 mil.
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ED: That's cowgirl, Ein. We earn money and buy food! Ein, you're a cow-woof
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woof!.
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Ed and Ein gather equipment from the Bebop.
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Ed steps on a powered scooter.
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ED: Here we go! One! Two! Five! Four! Hello!
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Ed jets off.
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The police station. Coffee is being interrogated.
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OFFICER: Hey, don't underestimate the police!
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COFFEE: I really don't know anything!
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OFFICER: Then why did you have a strange kid and a dog in the trunk of your
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car?!
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The policeman's phone rings. He picks it up.
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OFFICER: Hello... Yes? Oh, it's you, Sally. Really... You're so hopeless...
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He turns away from Coffee.
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OFFICER: I told you so many times not to call me at work...
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Through the window, Coffee spots Ed and Ein speed by.
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OFFICER: And? Yeah, yeah, and that's it? I mean, I didn't mean it THAT way
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when I said "that's it?"...
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She carefully grabs her keys and escapes.
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OFFICER: Yeah, yeah, like that. I love you, Sally. Got it. Tonight at 7 it
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is. Bye-bye!
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He hangs up. Coffee is gone. Outside, she drives away.
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OFFICER: HEY!
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At an outdoors bar. The Shaft Brother speedily eats flavored ice. Sitting a
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table away are Antonio, Carlos and Jobin.
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ANOTONIO: What's wrong, young'un? Lookin' like that...
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CARLOS: Did your woman run off without you?
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JOBIN: What to say...
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SHAFT BROTHER: None of your business, old geezers.
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He spots Ed and Ein speed off. He tries to finish the ice quickly and gets
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a splitting headache.
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ANTONIO: Oh, man... that's for eating all at once.
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CARLOS: They say when you're in a hurry, go around.
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JOBIN: Is that right?
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Ed stops outside of town.
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ED: He's not here...
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She spots the triangular ship.
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ED: Aah! That hit-and-run ship!
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In the ship. Domino tends to mushrooms growing on bark.
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DOMINO: I'm sure they never even dreamed that I was raising these in here.
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He plucks one and tosses it into a full bag.
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DOMINO: This one's bad. Well, making an emergency landing here was the only
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miscalculation I had -
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He turns around and Ed and Ein startle him.
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ED: Were you surprised?
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DOMINO: I was. What the hell are you guys?
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ED: Why are you here?
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DOMINO: That's my line! How did you get in here in the first place?
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ED: The door was open.
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DOMINO: Is that so?!
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Ed points two gas guns at Domino.
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ED: Culprit of the hit-and-run, prepare to get arrested! Stinkbug gas!
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She pulls the triggers. Gas sprays out. Domino runs away.
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ED: Wait, wait, wait!
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Ed and Ein chase after him.
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They run outside. A train is about to cross. The Shaft Brother and the
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watermelon vender in his truck wait side by side. The Shaft Brother spots
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Domino and Ed. The train passes. Domino has gotten himself on top of it.
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The Shaft Brother punches out the watermelon vender, takes his truck and
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speeds after the train. He climbs onto the train and confronts Domino.
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SHAFT BROTHER: Don't think that you can get away from me!
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He pulls out his grenade launcher and fires at Domino. Domino dodges.
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Coffee catches up with the train. She pulls out her own grenade launcher.
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COFFEE: Don't get in my way!
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She fires at the Shaft Brother and misses.
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Ed and Ein chase after the train in the scooter. Ed, with Ein on her back,
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hops off the scooter, skips on Coffee's head and grabs onto the train.
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ED: Ein! Growl!
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Ein runs after Domino. He bites one of the mushroom bags. DOMINO: C-Come on! Let go of me!
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Ein tosses back the bag. It flies into the Shaft Brother's face. The Shaft
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Brother loses grip and falls from the train and through Coffee's
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windshield. Coffee's car flips over and explodes. Both miraculously
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survive.
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Ed runs after Domino and makes threatening gestures.
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ED: BOO!
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A cow is before the train on the tracks. The train suddenly brakes. Domino
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falls off the train in front of the cow. Ed lands on top of him. The train
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stops.
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ED: Gotcha!
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DOMINO: W-Wait... T-These mushrooms are worth 100,000 each. Let me go, and
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I'll give them to you.
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ED: Why?
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DOMINO: Think about which one is worth more.
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ED: I dunno.
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DOMINO: A-Are you an idiot?! Take the mushrooms!
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ED: Okay!
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Ed takes the bag and tosses it in the air.
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Ein barks at the cow
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EIN (Subtitles): Thank you.
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The cow moos back
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COW (Subtitles): Oh, it's no problem.
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Sunset. Spike is on the roof of the Bebop. Faye regains consciousness on
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the floor of the bathroom with toilet paper in her mouth. Jet makes up in
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the hallway, mouth red from eating lipstick.
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Ed runs into a tent outside the Bebop with the bag.
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ED: Yahoo! Dinner! Mushroom!
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In the tent.
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FAYE: 100,000 each? Really?
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JET: That sure would make some money.
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FAYE: These are real?
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A policeman approaches the tent outside. Jet, Ed and Faye walk outside.
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OFFICER: Excuse me. I'm with the police. I want to ask a few questions
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about Domino, an illegal mushroom dealer.
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JET: Unfortunately, we have no clue.
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FAYE: I'm so sorry we can't be of any help.
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ED: Ed knows who that -
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Jet and Faye cover Ed's mouth. Faye and Jet laugh nervously.
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FAYE: Don't mind her...
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Ed struggles free.
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ED: In exchange, I got...
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They cover her mouth again.
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JET: Really...
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FAYE: She's a troublesome kid...
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Spike walks outside, still dazed, holding the bag of mushrooms.
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OFFICER: Excuse me, sir.
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He tests the mushrooms with a scanner.
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OFFICER: They're okay. He must really like shitake mushrooms. Well, sorry
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to bother you.
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The policeman leaves.
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Space. The Bebop.
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JET: Here's dinner.
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SPIKE: What's the menu?
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JET: Shitake stir-fry, shitake stew, shitake salad, and a shitake dessert.
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ED: Yaaaaaay!
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FAYE: Again? How many days has it been?
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SPIKE: No... I can't eat anymore.
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JET: Quit complaining, and be thankful that we can even eat!
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ED: Thankful!
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Ein hick-ups.
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LIFE IS BUT A DREAM...
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CLOSING CREDITS
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COMING EPISODE
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JET: A videotape that was delivered to the Bebop with no return address.
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Because we wanted to view the tape, things took a turn for the
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unexpected. No, actually it doesn't go anywhere. At first glance, the
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story is pointless the actions are on a small scale and the ending is
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forced but what will you get out of it all? Next episode: "Speak Like
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A Child." At first glance, it's interesting.
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Next Session
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SPEAK LIKE A CHILD
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