<rss version="2.0"><channel><title>cleric + thief</title>
<link>http://tilde.town/~dozens/clericthief/index.html</link><description>adventures of iofi and maddox</description><atom:link rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" href="http://tilde.town/~dozens/clericthief/episodes.xml"/>
<item>
  <title>00007. Blackguard</title>
  <link>http://tilde.town/~dozens/clericthief/00007-blackguard.html</link>
  <pubDate>Sun Oct 16 00:00:00 MDT 2022
</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">2022-10-16 00007. Blackguard</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[
<p>Iofi walks up the dirt path to the cottage with a basket of fresh
picked goosefingers from the abandoned orchard.</p>
<p>She stops before a blank wall on the side of the log house and waits,
her arms full of fruit basket, as an opening slowly appears. When it is
large enough, she steps inside and the portal closes behind her.</p>
<p>Inside, Meadowgloom is sitting, propped up in a chair near the
fireplace. He is pale and thin now. His hair is thinner, and white. His
large watery eyes dominate his sunken face and his meaty jowls hang on
an otherwise gaunt face.</p>
<p>It is traumatic coming back from the dead.</p>
<p>Blackguard and Maddox are sitting with him.</p>
<p>Iofi sets the basket down on the table and retrieves one of the long,
yellow, fuzzy pods. She peels it open revealing a bright green flesh
speckled with small dark seeds. She scoops out the flesh, plates it with
some bread, and brings it to Meadowgloom who accepts with a weak
smile.</p>
<p>Maddox shifts uncomfortably in their chair. Iofi looks at him
questioningly.</p>
<p>“Nothing,” they say. “I just. I just didn’t expect it to still be
this hard. Being back here.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to keep going down there,” she replies gently,
sitting down next to them. “Why don’t you come on back. There’s no
reason to torture yourself.”</p>
<p>Maddox looks away, closes their eyes, and nods slightly. Another
Maddox snaps into existence by the table with the fruit basket. “I’m
recalling everybody,” this new Maddox says, the first Maddox popping out
of existence. “I need to have just one person in my head for a while.”
They leave the common room, going into one of the bedrooms and closes
the door behind them.</p>
<p>Iofi turns and looks at the fireplace. She and Blackguard watch in
silence as Meadowgloom pretends to eat.</p>
<center>
<pre>~ * ~</pre>
</center>
<p>Bridgers Farm is an abandoned orchard just outside the walls of
Kriteach. The goosefinger trees are growing untamed. More and more they
are becoming a small, wild forest. Goosefinger fruit lies rotting on the
ground in the summer. The birds and small critters can’t eat it fast
enough.</p>
<p>The farm used to supply Melior Abbey with goosefinger to make wine
and brandy, which the monks sold to support the abbey. And the farm.</p>
<p>When the King Vulture died and the monks all went mad, the abbey was
abandoned. And then it was razed to the ground: what the people of
Kriteach started in retribution, the monks themselves finished in
penitence.</p>
<p>A lot of rubble and a few walls, an intact room here and there, are
all that remain of Melior above ground.</p>
<p>Below ground the tunnels remain. The cellars and the catacombs, and a
few sealed tombs. One such sealed tomb is rumored to still hold the
remains of the 12th abbot of Melior who, according to legend, was
entombed alive as punishment for heresy and for plotting against the
King Vulture. For centuries the abbot’s remains have rested inside the
wall undisturbed until just very recently when he unexpectedly gained a
new cellmate, the Hand’s master assassin.</p>
<p>The Melior tunnels connect the abbey, nestled inside the city walls
in Scholar’s Gate, to the orchard on the outside. A convenient way to
transport fruit, and one of the few ways to bypass the city walls.</p>
<p>The privacy and freedom of movement provided by the tunnels, in
addition to the farm’s remoteness and its taboo association with the mad
monks of the King Vulture, are why Iofi and Maddox moved their new base
of operations here from the compromised Bone &amp; Beak bookstore and
cafe.</p>
<p>“I think it’s time,” says Iofi and Blackguard tenses. “The Crown and
the Hand are both looking for you, Blackguard. Why?”</p>
<p>Blackguard seems to deflate. Meadowgloom is sleeping in a chair by
the fire.</p>
<p>“I didn’t know,” Blackguard starts. “I was – I was moving cargo. I
would get a shipment container number, and then my men would go down to
the dockyard and load up the crates and carry them out to Chicken Gate.
And there’d be somebody there waiting to take the shipment. I didn’t
know where it came from or where it went.”</p>
<p>Blackguard looks up at Iofi, wild-eyed. “You have to believe me.
Nobody believes me. I just move cargo. The Count thinks I’m behind the
whole thing! I don’t know how he found out. But suddenly I had royal
funding. The shipments started coming in more frequently, and I had to
step away from my other ventures and just … do whatever this is
fulltime. Of coure I knew the Hand would find out. They know about
everything that comes through the harbor. I knew that being in the
pocket of the royals would do me any favors with them. But for a while
it seemed I was untouchable. Until … until I found out what we were
moving.”</p>
<p>Blackguard’s voice drops to a whisper, he casts his eyes downward and
rings his hands. “It was people. People, I tell you.”</p>
<p>He looks up at Iofi, his eyes blazing. “It was Western people. It was
Givzi people.”</p>

    ]]>
  </description>
</item>
<item>
  <title>00006. Bone and Feather</title>
  <link>http://tilde.town/~dozens/clericthief/00006-bone-feather.html</link>
  <pubDate>Sun Sep 18 00:00:00 MDT 2022
</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">2022-09-18 00006. Bone and Feather</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[
<p>“Blackguard?” Maddox fumes incredulously, their voice croaking as it
always does whenever raised above conversational tones. “How did you get
here?” They demand. “How did you find us? Who did you lead here, you
fool!”</p>
<p>Iofi and Blackguard are gingerly laying Meadowgloom down in the
pantry, which is just barely large enough to accommodate his frame. He
rolls his large watery eyes around without focusing on much of anything.
He gasps for breath, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly like a
fish. He is deathly pale.</p>
<p>Iofi looks up over her shoulder and glares at Maddox. They continue
to fume, but quietly.</p>
<p>“Go get ready to snap inside the wall,” she says.</p>
<p>Maddox raises their eyebrows, a silent question.</p>
<p>“We shouldn’t move Meadowgloom any more. And,” her voices hardens, “I
want whoever did this.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure about this? You’re willing to be god’s hammer?”</p>
<p>She nods resolutely. “Take the bathroom door.” Maddox nods and
leaves.</p>
<p>“You,” she says, turning back to Blackguard, “stay here with
Meadowgloom.” Probably didn’t need to be said. The man in the top hat
has made no effort to leave his side, not even once.</p>
<p>“Stay quiet. We’ll be back for you when this is over.”</p>
<p>She stands up and exits the pantry and closes the door. She reaches
into her satchel and pulls out a trinket, a small tin key that might
open a music box. She stoops down and places it by the door frame, and
touches the door, and whispers, “<span
class="smallcaps">Hidden</span>.”</p>
<p>The door vanishes.</p>
<p>She makes a round through the apartment, blessing each door and
making small offerings.</p>
<center>
<pre>~ * ~</pre>
</center>
<p>Outside, a small street urchin watches from the gutter as a figure
emerges from the shadows and approaches the door to the apartment. It
turns the handle and silently crosses the threshold. The urchin
vanishes.</p>
<p>The Dead Ringer climbs the steps up to the apartment above the
bookstore. At the top of the stairs is a closed door, the door to the
living area. He listens and hears nothing. He tries the handle. It is
unlocked. He lets himself inside.</p>
<p>Inside is a plain, empty room. There is a small table and chairs in
the middle, and a door in each of the other three walls.</p>
<p>The Dead Ringer listens and looks for signs of activity and, finding
none, steps into the room and looks around a little. He tries one of the
doors, opens it and peeks inside. The next room is plain and empty.
There is a small table and chairs in the middle, and a door in each of
the other three walls.</p>
<p>He looks back at the current room. And back through the door. The
rooms are identical. He cautiously steps inside and closes the door
behind him. He tries another door, only to find the same room once
again.</p>
<p>He retraces his steps to the original room and opens the door to the
stairwell. On the other side is a plain, empty room. There is a small
table and chairs in the middle, and a door in each of the other three
walls.</p>
<p>He closes the door quietly and backs up and looks around the room
again.</p>
<center>
<pre>~ * ~</pre>
</center>
<p>Iofi and Maddox are sitting in the bedroom.</p>
<p>She is sitting on the bed, feeding a strawberry to the small,
two-headed, black turtle in her lap. Both heads are eating toward the
center from opposite sides, and both seem very content.</p>
<p>Maddox is sitting still staring blankly at the wall. They do that
when concentrating on their other eyes and ears. And now that they seem
to have more eyes and more ears than before, they do a lot more
staring.</p>
<p>They blink a few times and turn to Iofi.</p>
<p>“Okay,” they say in their quiet melodic voice. “We’re ready.”</p>
<p>Iofi nods, and strokes the turtle’s back.</p>
<center>
<pre>~ * ~</pre>
</center>
<p>The Dead Ringer has been wandering through the single room labyrinth
for a while now. It is starting to take some effort to continue to
suppress his rising panic.</p>
<p>After an hour of trying doors at random, he opens a door onto a
lavish library. He almost cries out in relief at seeing something
different, and rushes into the room, closing the door behind him, his
chest heaving.</p>
<p>Sitting at a desk on the other side of the room is Rose Walker. She
looks up in surprise at the noise. When she sees who it is, she
startles, and slowly lowers the book she had been studying.</p>
<p>“What are you doing here?” she asks quietly.</p>
<p>The Dead Ringer draws a dagger and springs across the room. In an
instant he is lunging across the desk raising the tip of the dagger to
her throat and reaching for the back of her neck to draw her toward the
point.</p>
<p>His hand passes through her head.</p>
<p>The silent assassin’s composure finally breaks as he flinches and
moans out loud, “Wha-”</p>
<p>Walker smirks and says coolly, “Good to know.”</p>
<p>“Snap.”</p>
<p>A sudden smell of burning oil, a bright light and a flash of heat
behind him. A hand grabs the Ringer from behind even as he turns. He
adjusts his grip on the knife and spins toward his assailant.</p>
<p>“Snap.”</p>
<p>The library disappears and they are plunged into darkness. The only
light is his attacker’s lit torch. For a brief second, he can see his
foe, their face distorted by the flickering light and the dancing
shadows caused by the torch. It’s the short one with the blonde hair.
Maddox. The Ringer slashes at them, but they leap back and throw the
torch at his face. He dodges and it falls to the ground, sputters, and
nearly goes out.</p>
<p>From the darkness, “Snap.”</p>
<p>And then silence.</p>
<p>The Dead Ringer waits, tense as a coiled spring, for something or
someone to leap out of the shadows at him. But nothing happens. He is
alone.</p>
<p>He picks up the torch and looks around. Solid, dusty stone floor,
about five feet by six feet. Low stone ceiling. Stone brick walls. No
door. No windows. No exit.</p>
<p>In the corner is a tiny desk holding a dust covered book and a spent
candlestick. A human skeleton sits behind the desk, slumped against the
wall.</p>
<p>The Ringer screams out loud in anger.</p>
<p>Outside his tomb, his voice echoes impotently and unheard throughout
the tunnels below the ruins of the abandoned church.</p>
<p>EOF</p>

    ]]>
  </description>
</item>
<item>
  <title>00005. Dead Ringer</title>
  <link>http://tilde.town/~dozens/clericthief/00005-ringer.html</link>
  <pubDate>Sat Sep 10 00:00:00 MDT 2022
</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">2022-09-10 00005. Dead Ringer</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[
<p>The Index sits alone at the round, stone table. They skim over the
lines of a large book with the aide of with a small wand, a pointer
tapering into the shape of a small closed hand with an extended
finger.</p>
<p>They are dressed for the meeting in voluminous, jet-black robes lined
with fur. And a black velvet mask with gold trim. The face depicted on
the mask has large, owl-like eyes, and no mouth: they see all, and keep
all the Hand’s secrets.</p>
<p>They look up as the door opens and the other four file into the small
room beneath the wine cellar. All wear the same robes, and each wears a
unique mask.</p>
<p>The masks are mostly for ceremonial purposes at this point. The true
identities of the Hand are a fairly well-known secret within the inner
circle.</p>
<p>Except for the Dead Ringer, of course. The current spymaster, nor
their predecessor, have ever been unmasked.</p>
<p>The sit in order around the stone table. The Thumb to his right, the
Tall Man to his left, then the Dead Ringer and the Pinky.</p>
<p>The Index marks their place in the book, closes it and sets it aside.
They then produce another book from a bag under the table and opens it
up.</p>
<p>“We can begin,” they intone after finding their place.</p>
<p>Pinky has been compromised again,” rumbles Tall Man. His mask depicts
a face twisted by anger, or in anguish. He is an imposing figure. Many
enemies have assumed that his large physique must mean a lack of smarts.
They were wrong.</p>
<p>Pinky’s mask has hooded eyes and a smile, a face of indulgence and
merriment. “It’s to be expected,” she retorts. “I’m the most public
member of this organization. My businesses operate in the open.”</p>
<p>“When they come back,” interrupts the Thumb. “They can contend with
the Ringer.”</p>
<p>The Thumb is a fat man. His mask has plain, straight lines for the
eyes, mouth, and nose. A study in neutrality.</p>
<p>Dead Ringer sits back in their chair, half in the shadows. Their mask
is unique in that it has no facial features. It is blank, with gold trim
only around the neckline, uncomfortably like a noose. They don’t speak
in meetings.</p>
<p>They nod to the Thumb.</p>
<p>It is settled.</p>
<p>“We’ll up your protection in the meantime,” the Thumb says, turning
to Tall Man, who grunts and agrees to allocate some muscle.</p>
<p>The Index makes some notes in their ledger. “Very good. I think that
concludes unfinished business, yes? Very good, on to new business…”</p>
<pre><code>                                 ~ * ~</code></pre>
<p>Iofi makes herself busy building little shrines to Janice. Small
altars with incense and dried flowers and tiny stone carvings of
two-headed turtles. She leaves little offerings of brass hinges, keys
with no locks, locks with no keys, bits of shell, small vials of colored
sand, and bits of dried seaweed. She is fasting in preparation for the
first of the month and the rites she will perform.</p>
<p>There seems to be a perpetual secret scrum of Maddoxes in this corner
or that, whispering intently amongst themselves.</p>
<p>Meadowgloom has given up on trying to serve them tea after they keep
emphatically passing their illusory hands through the cup. He almost
spilled the entire tea set once, expecting some of the weight to shift
from the tray to them. “Let them just come and get the tea if they want
it,” he grumbles to himself. “Assuming they can even lift the cup and
saucer!”</p>
<p>Soon it is time to return to Madam Walker’s Supper Club.</p>
<pre><code>                                 ~ * ~</code></pre>
<p>Her information network is comprehensive.</p>
<p>Even if one doesn’t actually use her services, it is possible to
construct a basic profile based on the “you” shaped hole in the
information provided by her existing customers and her runners and
spies.</p>
<p>Nothing is really private.</p>
<p>It doesn’t take long to build a basic profile on Blackguard. He is an
importer of goods, and an investor in trades and ventures. Which can
mean good money in a busy port city like Kriteach. He doesn’t frequent
any of the brothels. Never married. No children. Has a cousin in Coopers
Kettle that he writes. Usually takes supper at the Yeoman’s Club.</p>
<p>Recently gone missing. House recently burned down.</p>
<p>She puzzles over that last detail, not for the first time. Each of
her colleagues has assured her that they played no part in the arson.
This suggests there may be another player with stakes in this game. She
taps a pencil pensively on her desk.</p>
<p>Early last year Blackguard appeared to divest himself of most of his
portfolio. It is assumed that he subsequently focused his full attenion
and all of his capital in a single venture, but it remains to be known
what that venture is. He went completely below ground around the same
time. Stopped going out. Ceased correspondance. Refused visitors.</p>
<p>Some things, after all, do remain secret.</p>
<p>Madam Walker sits at the desk in her library trying in vain to
concentrate on the memo in her hands. She keeps glancing up at the door
and resisting the urge to get up and look out into the hall.</p>
<p>As an experiment, she kept the door open. Light from the reading
lamps in the library spills out into the hall on the other side. Until
suddenly it doesn’t.</p>
<p>The hallway goes dark, as though a curtain has been drawn across the
doorway. Walker stiffens. The darkness recedes and she catches a glimpse
of an unfurnished room on the other side as the short thief walks in,
closing the door behind themself.</p>
<p>“You have the information we were promised?” they ask in a quiet
voice.</p>
<p>Walker nods and slides a folder across the desk to them. They glance
at it but make no move to pick it up.</p>
<p>“Will you read it to me?” they ask.</p>
<p>Walker raises an eyebrow and smirks a little, and tells them a
summary.</p>
<p>“He’s not one of my customers,” Walker concludes. “As I told you when
we first met, I don’t know him. And I don’t know where he is.”</p>
<p>“Is that true for the rest of the Hand? None of you know where he
is?”</p>
<p>Walker presses her lips together and smiles. “I don’t know what the
rest of the Hand does and doesn’t know. That’s not how we operate.”</p>
<p>Maddox grunts. “Sure, I–” but the they cut themself off abruptly with
a sudden intense look, and they snap out of existence.</p>
<p>Madam Walker blinks a few times in surprise at the abrupt departure.
She stands up and crosses the library and opens the door to the hallway,
only to see the hallway.</p>
<pre><code>                                 ~ * ~</code></pre>
<p>Meadowgloom is walking back from the grocer clutching a bag of bread
and fruit for dinner.</p>
<p>He passes under the etched wooden sign of the Bone and Feather
bookstore and cafe: a rook perching on top of a skull. He turns the
corner of the shop into the alley and walks up to the side entrance, the
stairway that goes up to the apartment above the bookstore where he’s
been living with the cleric and the thief.</p>
<p>He reaches into his coat pocket and fumbles around for the key. It
took a while to even get him a key to the place. Not because they didn’t
trust him, but because neither of them uses the front door. Iofi seems
to be able to connect arbitrary doors, so she can walk into the upstairs
closet and arrive at her destination. Maddox either uses Iofi’s doors,
or else they just teleport around between their different illusory
selves.</p>
<p>“Meadowgloom?” a voice from behind him asks.</p>
<p>Meadowgloom startles, and fumbles and drops the key just as he pulls
it out of his pocket.</p>
<p>Standing behind him, between him and the entrance to the alley, is a
backlit figure wearing a coat and scarf and a flat crown hat with a
brim. The figure is backlit, its face hidden in shadow.</p>
<p>“Yes? Who’s there?” Meadowgloom answers, and stoops down to fetch the
key.</p>
<p>The figure steps forward out of the shadow revealing a lined,
determined face wearing glasses and a mustache and goatee.</p>
<p>Still crouched down, Meadowgloom stops with his hand hovering over
the key. He says in surprise, “Mister Blackguard?”</p>
<p>Blackguard’s seems about to break into a smile, but instead raises
his hand in alarm and shouts, “Meadowgloom!”</p>
<p>For when Meadowgloom bent down to retrieve the dropped key,
Blackguard was able to see a shadowy figure clad all in black with a
black mask over their face step out of the gloom. It lifts an arm up
over its head, a long bladed dagger gripped in its hand.</p>
<p>When it hears Blackguard’s name spoken out loud, it pauses for a
fraction of a second, blade suspended in air, and tilts its head
slightly. And then it plunges the blade into Meadowgloom’s back.</p>
<pre><code>                                 ~ * ~</code></pre>
<p>Upstairs in the apartment Iofi and Maddox hear a man scream in
anguish outside in the alley. They look at each other and leap up and
rush toward the stairs. Two other Maddoxes appear at their side as they
go, running alongside them.</p>
<p>Iofi quickly unlocks the door and throws it open and a bunch of
Maddoxes flow through the opening out into the alley.</p>
<p>They find a man sitting hunched over on the ground cradling
Meadowgloom in his arms, rocking back and forth, both of them in a pool
of blood.</p>
<p>Two Maddoxes dash away toward either end of the alley as the third
steps forward, daggers in hand, surveying the immediate area. There is
no assailant to be found.</p>
<p>Iofi stoops down and touches Meadowgloom. His face is frozen in one
of curious surprise. He doesn’t respond or react. He doesn’t breathe.
There is no pulse.</p>
<p>The man is crying. He looks up at Iofi and takes a couple breaths to
compose himself.</p>
<p>Iofi squeezes her eyes shut and, hands on Meadowglooms chest,
whispers forcefully, “<span class="smallcaps">The tide goes in, the tide
goes out. All things come to an end, but not for you. Not here, not now.
Your story isn’t over yet. Come back to us.</span>”</p>
<p>She opens her eyes and peers expectantly at Meadowgloom’s face. Her
countenance falls in defeat when nothing happens. But then his eyes go
wide and he takes a violent gasp of air.</p>
<p>She sighs with relief. “Get him upstairs,” she commands the strange
man. “He’s still gravely injured. We must tend to him if he is to
live.”</p>
<p>The man nods and together the two of them lift Meadowgloom up to his
feet.</p>
<p>“Who are you?” Iofi asks.</p>
<p>“My name is Dedric Blackguard. I heard you were looking for me. I
need your help. I’m in danger and there’s nobody I can trust.”</p>
<p>EOF</p>

    ]]>
  </description>
</item>
<item>
  <title>00004. Pinky</title>
  <link>http://tilde.town/~dozens/clericthief/00004-pinky.html</link>
  <pubDate>Sun Sep  4 00:00:00 MDT 2022
</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">2022-09-04 00004. Pinky</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[
<p>Maddox is alone, slipping silently through the house, while Iofi and
another Maddox wait hidden in the kitchen.</p>
<p>In the dining hall, one of the girls startles them. But they talk
their way past her.</p>
<p>They climb the stairs at the end of the hall to the second level.</p>
<p>When they get to the top of the stairs, a large, beefy guard jumps
out and swings a fist at Maddox, but they dodge out of the way. Maddox
swipes at him with a dagger, and the guard jumps back to avoid its
point. The guard swings again and Maddox feints and stabs. The guard
barely avoids the attack.</p>
<p>This time the guard lands what should be a direct blow, but his fist
goes straight through the side of their skull. The guard stops and
blinks a few times in confusion. Maddox whispers a single word,
“Snap.”</p>
<p>A second Maddox steps out of the shadows and stabs the guard in the
ribs. Iofi lunges forward and strikes him in the head with her hammer,
knocking him out.</p>
<p>Maddox tries the single door at the top of the stairs. It is locked.
Iofi lays her hands on it and opens it, and they slip through.</p>
<p>At the end of the hallway are two guards, on high alert due to the
sound of the scuffle. They pounce, and Maddox turns and runs back down
the hallway. They give chase and as they pass through the hallway,
Maddox and Iofi attack from behind.</p>
<p>Iofi’s hammer knocks one out in a single blow. Maddox throws a dagger
and catches the second one in the neck. He cries out, turns and jabs
with his spear. Maddox takes a scratch from the spear, but then stabs
again and the guard goes down.</p>
<p>Maddox continues down the hall, leaving Maddox and Iofi behind. They
pause to listen at doors as they go.</p>
<p>They finally arrive at Walker’s study. The lights are on. She is
sitting at her desk reading papers and making notes in a journal.</p>
<p>Maddox slips silently into the room.</p>
<p>Rose Walker looks up and sets her papers down and sighs, “I obviously
need to up my security.”</p>
<p>“Not necessarily. There just aren’t really any doors that can keep us
out,” Maddox replies with a nearly apologetic smile.</p>
<p>She smiles back and folds her hands together, waiting.</p>
<p>“I’m looking for somebody,” Maddox continues. “His name’s
Blackguard.”</p>
<p>Walker unlaces her fingers, places her hands on the table, and
stands.</p>
<p>“I’ve never heard him,” she says, walking around the desk and
standing before Maddox. “He’s not one of my clients whoever he is. So
why are you asking me?”</p>
<p>Maddox narrows their eyes.</p>
<p>In the hallway, Iofi holds the grimorie in both hands. Her lips move
silently as she reads.</p>
<p>In the study, Walker’s smile fades and she falters, hesitates. Her
confidence is suddenly, inexplicably shaken. Maddox smirks.</p>
<p>They take a step forward. “Help us find Blackguard.”</p>
<p>“I tell you I don’t know the man!” she protests, taking step
back.</p>
<p>Iofi finally steps into the room. The grimorie has been placed back
into her satchel. She holds her glass hammer at her side.</p>
<p>“Then find out. Ask your girls.” Iofi says idly, looking around the
room. She walks behind the desk and flips through the papers, pocketing
one or two of them. Walker frowns.</p>
<p>“We’ll be back in three days,” Maddox warns.</p>
<p>Iofi crosses the room again and lays one hand on the door to Walker’s
study. “<span class="smallcaps">This door is now one of mine</span>,”
she says. She opens it and on the other side is the safe house.
Meadowgloom, setting out a tea set, looks up in surprise and lets out a
squeak.</p>
<p>Maddox smiles. They follow Iofi through the door and close it behind
them, leaving Walker alone once again in the study.</p>
<p>Walker composes herself and crosses the room and opens the door and
looks at the empty hallway on the other side, exactly where it should
be.</p>
<p>EOF</p>

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  </description>
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<item>
  <title>00003. The Hand</title>
  <link>http://tilde.town/~dozens/clericthief/00003-hand.html</link>
  <pubDate>Sat Sep  3 00:00:00 MDT 2022
</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">2022-09-03 00003. The Hand</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[
<p>“They had accents,” Maddox explains. They and Iofi are in Count
Dindrati’s library. They haven’t been invited to sit, so they both
stand. The count is seated at a table by himself studying a board game.
“They were from the west,” they continue.</p>
<p>“Yes, yes.” Dindrati waves his hand dismissively. His thumb and first
two fingers are scaly, and each ends in a pointed tip.</p>
<p>He picks up a piece from the board and moves it.</p>
<p>“Your priorities have changed,” he says, finally looking up from the
board. His wide, smooth face would probably be quite unremarkable were
it not for the raised gold-colored scales on the side of his jaw, like
beetle carapaces crawling up his left cheekbone and encircling his eye.
That eye has no pupil, no iris. Just a solid pool the color of liquid,
molten metal.</p>
<p>“I have reason to believe that the Hand may be involved in
Blackguard’s disappearance.” Maddox shifts their weight back onto their
heels. Iofi draws her shoulders back a little. “I want you to find out.
And if it’s true, I want you to make them feel my disappointment.”</p>
<p>He turns back to the game. “Start with the Pinky,” he says and waves
again, dismissing them.</p>
<p>Iofi clears her throat and says, “Going after the Hand is not nearly
the same as interviewing the butler of a rich merchant. We’ll need to
renegotiate our contract.”</p>
<p>Dindrati sighs and nods, and presses himself up from his game. He
turns around and crosses the room. He draws one claw-tipped finger
across the spines of the books on the shelf.</p>
<p>He pulls down a thick journal and turns back to the duo.</p>
<p>“Here,” he says, holding it out to Iofi. “This should be enough to
balance the scales.”</p>
<p>Iofi reaches out and takes the book from the count.</p>
<p>“I’ll adjust your pay accordingly,” he concludes, sitting back down
to the game.</p>
<hr />
<p>The count nominally governs Kriteach County. He speaks with the
authority of the king, and enforces his will with his own police force.
But it is the Hand that in actuality runs the day to day operations of
the city. They indulge in the standard practices of organized crime.
Racketeering, bribery, extortion and the like. But they do so with the
begrudging support of the citizens, because they also spend a
significant amount of effort enforcing their own code of ethics. They
investigate and punish breaches of conduct both within their own ranks,
and also amongst the people. Theirs has become a sort of people’s
court.</p>
<p>The governing body of the Hand is a council of five. Hence the name.
The individuals may change and come and go over the years. But the
positions and the titles are always the same.</p>
<p>There is the Thumb, as in “under my”. They serve an executive
function in the Hand, getting to set agendas and priorities and
direction.</p>
<p>The Index is the book keeper for the whole organization. His
accountants and lawyers know all the secrets and how to protect them.
And only he knows the extent and the contents, and the whereabouts, of
the Hand’s coffers.</p>
<p>There is no subtly to the Tall Man’s racket. His is enforcement and
protection. Usually through muscle and brute force. Although his crew
has been known to pull off a clandestine operation or two.</p>
<p>The Dead Ringer employs a small number of spies. They broker in
espionage, intrigue, disguise, and when necessary, assassination and
disposal.</p>
<p>And finally there is the Pinky–as in “wrapped around my little
finger”–whose portfolio includes information and blackmail. Their
network of spies is not necessarily limited to, but is largely comprised
of, the working girls in the brothels. And their intel are the secrets
that foolish men let slip while their head is on the pillow.</p>
<p>It is a well known secret that the current Pinky, one Madam Rose
Walker, is the owner and proprietor of Madam Walker’s Supper Club. A
charmingly seedy establishment where you can get a good bite to eat and
then, if you pay a little more, you can head upstairs and have one of
the girls for desert.</p>
<hr />
<p>Iofi and Maddox spent the day preparing. The book that Count Dindrati
gave them was a grimorie. A book of magic.</p>
<p>One of the rituals they prepared involved Iofi consuming the heart of
an animal. Meadowgloom dutifully obtained and prepared the beast while
the two of them continued to study. “Divination is more your thing than
mine anyway,” Maddox said apologetically as Iofi frowned and suffered
through eating the thing.</p>
<p>And now here they are. Standing in the shadows outside the supper
club in the southern part of the Lost Arch district, near the
harbour.</p>
<p>Convention dictates they conduct their missions after hours. But
“after hours” at a brothel is typically midday, which they agreed would
leave them feeling a little exposed. So they opted for 3:00, the
bewitching hour.</p>
<p>“Ready?” Iofi asks quietly. Maddox nods and the two of them step out
of the shadows. Maddox grumbles once again at the lack of windows on the
ground floor. They walk past the painted red front door and around to
the back alley where the entrance to the kitchen is. Iofi reaches into
her satchel to pet the black turtle as she walks up to the door. She
places her hand on the door and speaks with two voices, “<span
class="smallcaps">The door is open.</span>” She presses gently and the
door swings open.</p>
<p>She steps aside so that Maddox can slip in, and then follows them and
closes the door shut behind them.</p>
<p>EOF</p>

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<item>
  <title>00002. Meadowgloom</title>
  <link>http://tilde.town/~dozens/clericthief/00002-meadowgloom.html</link>
  <pubDate>Thu Sep  1 00:00:00 MDT 2022
</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">2022-09-01 00002. Meadowgloom</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[
<p>“You really don’t know where Blackguard is,” asks Maddox.</p>
<p>The four of them are sitting around a table in the safe house.
Maddox, the bone doctor, Iofi, and Meadowgloom.</p>
<p>The bone doctor, summoned by Other Maddox, is extraordinarily pale.
They have just finished stitching Maddox up, and are now wrapping them
up in a bandage. They also set out some salve for Iofi, who is rubbing
it into her boney forearms. They ache deeply from when she took the
brunt of the blow from the axeman.</p>
<p>“I really don’t,” confesses Meadowgloom in his high, soft voice.</p>
<p>Meadowgloom is Blackguard’s <em>majordomo</em>, head of his household
staff. Up until recently he was quite happy and content with his
job.</p>
<p>That was before, of course, he was detained and threatened with
bodily dismemberment by three thugs who broke into the Blackguard house.
Before being rescused by the tall dark haired woman and the short fair
haired man, both of whom command strange magicks and are also quite
handy with a hammer and a knife, respectively. Which makes them in some
ways even scarier than the burglars were. And ultimately they also
eventually threatened him with violence.</p>
<p>All because of Blackguard.</p>
<p>Blackguard, whose investments, speculations, and ventures have made
him one of the most conspicuously wealthy merchants in Kriteach.
Possibly on the entire island.</p>
<p>Blackguard, who over the last month started becoming increasingly
anxious and secretive. Holding meetings at odd hours behind closed
doors. Spending more and more time alone with his books. As though he
knew the net was tightening, drawing closed around him.</p>
<p>Blackguard, who disappeared three days ago and left Meadowgloom
holding the proverbial bag. After years of service and loyalty.</p>
<p>Fucking Blackguard.</p>
<p>“I don’t,” continues Meadowgloom. “But I can recreate his final days
in the house for you. I can give you access to his books. His
correspondence. Everything.”</p>
<hr />
<p>Meadowgloom’s confidence starts to waiver as the three of them walk
back to the Blackguard house. It was his sanctuary mere days ago. But
now the illusion of safety has been shattered, and when he thinks of
returning he feels a knot of dread in the pit of his stomach. He doesn’t
think he’ll ever feel at peace there again.</p>
<p>He doesn’t know how right he is about that.</p>
<p>The street is blocked off. The house, in the middle of the block, is
collapsed in on itself and continues to smoke and smolder slightly. It
is blackened by soot, gutted by fire, and utterly soaked from the
efforts of putting out the blaze.</p>
<p>The fire brigade is now focused on putting out a neighboring
apartment.</p>
<p>Meadowgloom moans helplessly and wordlessly. He was already mourning
the psychological loss of his home. But he wasn’t prepared for its
physical loss.</p>
<p>“Shit,” curses Maddox.</p>
<p>Iofi looks at them and frowns.</p>
<p>“It’s a setback,” she offers.</p>
<p>“It was our best and only lead,” they counter.</p>
<p>Meadowgloom moans again and rushes past the barricade toward the
house. He is stopped by the brigade, who won’t let him advance. Maddox
gives him a moment, and then steps forward and gently pulls him away.
They walk back in the direction from which they came. Meadowgloom,
silent and dejected, flanked on either side by Maddox and Iofi. Nothing
else to be done here.</p>
<p>“You’ll stay with us,” Iofi pats Meadowgloom on the arm.</p>
<p>Maddox mumbles something under their breath and nods.</p>
<p>“It’s the least we can do given the circumstances.”</p>
<p>EOF</p>

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  </description>
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<item>
  <title>00001. Cleric + Thief</title>
  <link>http://tilde.town/~dozens/clericthief/00001-introductions.html</link>
  <pubDate>Tue Aug 30 00:00:00 MDT 2022
</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">2022-08-30 00001. Cleric + Thief</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[
<p>Iofi knocks on the front door of the apartment while Maddox turns and
faces the other way, inspecting the immaculate lawn and the empty
tree-lined street.</p>
<p>“Does the formality of it ever strike you as funny?” asks Maddox.
They are short and fidgety, with a ruddy face, small squinting eyes, and
short shaggy blonde hair.</p>
<p>Iofi drags the fingers of one hand gently across the face of the
door. Her other hand starts to reach instinctively for the satchel
around her waist, but then the returns it to her side after all.
“Funny?” she echoes quietly, almost to herself. She is tall, almost
gaunt. Her long dark hair is pulled back into a low tight bun. She has
slightly buck teeth and a slight overbite, and large dark eyes with
hooded eyelids.</p>
<p>“Knocking like that. Like you need permission.” Maddox continues
quietly, their voice just above a whisper. “You don’t find it
funny?”</p>
<p>“It’s the right thing to do,” Iofi answers, turning her head slightly
toward her partner.</p>
<p>Maddox turns from the lawn, satisfied for now, and leans over the
railing to peer in through the window.</p>
<p>“The right thing to do,” they counter, “is whatever gets you what you
need.” They squint, trying to make out the inside of the room through
the thin curtains. “And right now, we need to find the merchant.”</p>
<p>The door opens a crack just as Iofi raises her fist to knock a second
time.</p>
<p>Maddox quickly straightens up and tries not to look like they were
just spying through the window.</p>
<p>In the doorway is a small bald man with a thin, meticulous goatee and
mustache. He stands in the small space between the door and its frame
and peers out at them with large watery eyes and a gaping mouth like a
goldfish.</p>
<p>“Yes?” he greets them with a soft, high voice.</p>
<p>“Hello,” Iofi smiles, revealing an impressive amount of teeth, her
mouth giving a round shape to her vowels. “We’re looking for Mister
Dedric Blackguard. Is he available?”</p>
<p>Maddox clears their throat and tugs on their sleeves on the front
porch. The small man glances at them briefly before flicking his eyes
back to Iofi.</p>
<p>“No, I’m afraid Mister Blackguard is not here at the moment.”</p>
<p>Maddox asks, “Do you know when he will be back?” their voice a little
raspy as they speak up to be heard.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid not,” he answers in his childlike voice. There is a heavy
thump and a scrape from somewhere behind the door. The doorman flinches
and smiles nervously.</p>
<p>Maddox narrows their eyes, and concern appears on Iofi’s face. “Is
everything alright?” she asks. The doorman’s eyes flit quickly behind
the door.</p>
<p>“Yes! Yes, everything is quite alright. It, erm. It was just the
cat!”</p>
<p>“The cat,” echoes Iofi.</p>
<p>“Look,” the doorman squeaks, “I really must be going. I really am
busy. I’ll tell Mister Blackguard you were here. Miss?”</p>
<p>“Iofi.” She gestures behind her, “and Maddox. From the office of the
Governor.”</p>
<p>The doorman meeps quietly again. “The governor? Oh, um. Yes, very
good. I will let Mister Blackguard know. Now, as I said, I am very busy.
Good day!”</p>
<p>The small man closes the door in their faces. There is the sound of a
key turning in a lock, and the sliding of a bolt.</p>
<p>“Do you think he’s in trouble in there?” Maddox asks Iofi, their
voice a little more melodious as it drops to its natural register just
above a whisper.</p>
<p>“If he is, it would be the right thing to do to help him, wouldn’t
it?” Iofi answers dipping her hand into her satchel.</p>
<p>“I’m more concerned about losing a lead than doing the right thing,
but you know. Tell yourself what you need to hear.”</p>
<p>Iofi places her free hand on the door and when she speaks next, she
does so with two voices at once. “<span class="smallcaps">This door is
unlocked</span>.” She lowers her hand to the door handle and turns it,
and steps aside making room for Maddox at her side as she silently opens
it a crack.</p>
<p>Maddox peers into the empty foyer on the other side of the door.
There is a staircase leading up to the second level, a hallway receding
away from them toward the back of the house, and a large doorway on
either side.</p>
<p>A second Maddox walks briskly but silently in from the room on the
right and looks expectantly at the two of them lurking in the doorway.
The Maddox on the front porch nods at Iofi, who pushes the front door
open wide enough for them both to fit through.</p>
<p>Maddox tells the other Maddox, “Continue searching the downstairs. If
everything’s clear, head back to the safe house and wait for us there.”
Maddox nods, and silently continues through the doorway on the left into
a dining room.</p>
<p>Maddox turns back to Iofi and nods questioningly toward the stairs.
They go first, a dagger suddenly in each hand. She pulls a glass rod out
of her satchel, something between a large hammer and small club, and
follows.</p>
<p>At the top of the stairs is a hall with four rooms. Two to the left,
one to the right, and one straight ahead.</p>
<p>Muffled voices drift down the hall from the room at the far end of
the hall.</p>
<p>Maddox and Iofi creep forward. One of the voices is the high, soft,
trembling voice of the doorman. The other voice is low, calm, and
commanding.</p>
<p>“I told you I don’t know where he is!”</p>
<p>“And I told you that is not an acceptable answer.” Maddox frowns at
the voice’s western accent and glances back and up at Iofi. She nods, a
single line of concern creasing her brow. She heard it to.</p>
<p>“He has something of ours,” the voice continues. “We need it
back.”</p>
<p>The doorman yelps and there is the sound of a brief scuffle, and a
thump, and the doorman cries out in despair.</p>
<p>Iofi leans over Maddox and places her hand on the door. “Ready?” They
crouch and raise their daggers. “<span class="smallcaps">We’re already
on the other side.</span>”</p>
<p>In an instant, Maddox and Iofi find themselves on the other side of
the door. Two thugs are holding the terrified doorman down in a chair.
One is pressing his hand flat down on the table in front of him, fingers
splayed. A third brute is standing before the doorman, a cleaver in his
hand, raised over the doorman’s fingers.</p>
<p>Maddox flings one dagger at the brute with the cleaver. It lodges in
the meat of his shoulder and he howls. All eyes turn toward the door,
which remains closed and locked.</p>
<p>Iofi points her rod at the brute and says, “<span
class="smallcaps">That’s not a cleaver, that’s an eel!</span>” The brute
watches in amazement as the cleaver in his hand bends and warps and
elongates and grows flesh and teeth. Teeth that the eel sink into the
brute’s forearm.</p>
<p>The brute cries out and throws the eel to the ground and stumbles
back.</p>
<p>The doorman scoots quickly away as the thugs release him and lunge
toward Maddox, the first drawing a shortsword, and the second swinging
an axe.</p>
<p>Maddox parries the shortsword, but the axe slices them across the
ribs. They cry out.</p>
<p>“Maddox!” Iofi cries and brings her club down on the thug. It’s an
awkward swing and glances off the thug’s arm, but it lands a
substantially more solid blow than a frail glass rod ought to.</p>
<p>Maddox dashes to the side and throws another dagger, striking up to
the hilt in the brute’s chest. He clutches the blade and staggers to the
floor.</p>
<p>The thug with the shortsword hesitates and takes a step back. But the
one with the axe charges forward and swings at Iofi. The blow is heavy
and rattles her bones, but she deflects it and swings her club again,
this time cracking the thug in the head. He stumbles.</p>
<p>Maddox, having produced another dagger, lunges for thug with the axe,
but the slash in his ribs is so painful that he is unable to strike a
killing blow. Still, the axeman cries and stumbles.</p>
<p>Seeing his opportunity, the swordsman darts forward and pierces
Maddox clean through the shoulder. Maddox cries out, barely still
standing.</p>
<p>Iofi advances in a fury and the swordsman falls beneath a flurry of
blows.</p>
<p>Maddox collapses in her arms and she drags him over to the doorman,
who is huddling wide-eyed in the corner.</p>
<p>The thug with the axe staggers forward and raises the blade over his
head as Maddox reaches out and weakly grabs the doorman by his lapel.
Iofi looks up and makes eye contact with the axeman as he grunts and
swings down on them. At the same time Maddox whispers, “Snap,” and the
three of them blink out of existence.</p>
<p>The axe buries itself in the floor, and the axeman looks around the
room, empty except for him and his dead and dying comrades.</p>
<hr />
<p>They arrive in a heap on the floor in safe house. Other Maddox is
standing over them. They look gravely concerned, but they don’t move
forward to help them.</p>
<p>“I saw,” they say softly. “I already called for help.”</p>
<p>Iofi, still holding Maddox in her arms, looks up at the other Maddox.
“Thank you,” she says.</p>
<p>The doorman whimpers and tries to crawl away on all fours, and vomits
on the ground.</p>
<p>Maddox groans, doubled over in pain. From between gritted teeth they
hiss, “Wait outside. Stand watch.”</p>
<p>Other Maddox nods and silently exits the room.</p>
<p>Maddox drags himself over to the doorman, the two of them both on the
ground, and they shove him onto his back. From somewhere, they have
produced another long bladed dagger. “Now,” they whisper, holding the
tip near the doorman’s face. “Whatever it is you were about to tell
those goons, you’re going to tell us instead. Where’s Blackguard?”</p>
<p>Iofi, her gown covered in blood, stands up and walks over to Maddox
and the whimpering doorman.</p>
<p>She crouches down and reaches into her satchel and pulls out a turtle
shell the size of her hand. It is jet black, with a bright orange dotted
line around the edge. She places it on the ground next to the doorman,
and watches it intently.</p>
<p>The doorman glances from Maddox to it, as first one and then another
head pokes out from the shell. One looks at the doorman curiously, and
the other ignores him, looking as much in the opposite direction as is
possible.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Iofi nods and says to the doorman, eyes still on the turtle,
“I suggest you tell them what they want to know. It would be the right
thing to do.”</p>
<p>EOF</p>

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