diff --git a/clients/network_client.py b/clients/network_client.py
index ec8e045..f578bc8 100644
--- a/clients/network_client.py
+++ b/clients/network_client.py
@@ -42,8 +42,7 @@ class BBJ:
     """
     def __init__(self, host="127.0.0.1", port=8080):
         self.base = "http://{}:{}/api/%s".format(host, port)
-        self.user_name = None
-        self.user_auth = None
+        self.user_name = self.user_auth = None
         self.send_auth = True
 
 
@@ -101,7 +100,8 @@ class BBJ:
         Uses the server's db_sanity_check method to verify the validty
         of value by key. If it is invalid, kwarg exception (default
         AssertionError) is raised with the exception containing the
-        attribute .description as the server's reason.
+        attribute .description as the server's reason. Exception can
+        be a False value to just rturn boolean False.
         """
         response = self(
             "db_sanity_check",
@@ -111,6 +111,8 @@ class BBJ:
         )
 
         if not response["data"]["bool"]:
+            if not exception:
+                return False
             description = response["data"]["description"]
             error = exception(description)
             error.description = description
@@ -148,8 +150,7 @@ class BBJ:
             user_auth = sha256(bytes(user_auth, "utf8")).hexdigest()
 
         if check_validity and not self.validate_credentials(user_name, user_auth):
-            self.user_auth = None
-            self.user_name = None
+            self.user_auth = self.user_name = None
             raise ConnectionRefusedError("Auth and User do not match")
 
         self.user_auth = user_auth
@@ -180,22 +181,44 @@ class BBJ:
         Returns True or False whether user_name is registered
         into the system.
         """
-        return self(
+        response = self(
             "user_is_registered",
             no_auth=True,
             target_user=user_name
-        )["data"]
+        )
+
+        return response["data"]
 
 
-    def user_register(self, user_name, user_auth, hash_auth=True):
+    def user_register(self, user_name, user_auth, hash_auth=True, set_as_user=True):
         """
         Register user_name into the system with user_auth. Unless hash_auth
         is set to false, user_auth should be a password string.
-        """
-        pass
-        # return self(
 
-        # )
+        When set_as_user is True, the newly registered user is internalizedn
+        and subsequent uses of the object will be authorized for them.
+        """
+        if hash_auth:
+            user_auth = sha256(bytes(user_auth, "utf8")).hexdigest()
+
+        response = self(
+            "user_register",
+            no_auth=True,
+            user_name=user_name,
+            auth_hash=user_auth
+        )["data"]
+
+        assert all([
+            user_auth == response["auth_hash"],
+            user_name == response["user_name"]
+        ])
+
+        if set_as_user:
+            self.user_name = user_name
+            self.user_auth = user_auth
+
+        return response
+
 
     def thread_index(self):
         """
@@ -204,3 +227,11 @@ class BBJ:
         """
         response = self("thread_index")
         return response["data"], response["usermap"]
+
+
+    def thread_load(self, thread_id):
+        """
+        Returns a tuple where [0] is a thread object and [1] is a usermap object.
+        """
+        response = self("thread_load", thread_id=thread_id)
+        return response["data"], response["usermap"]
diff --git a/clients/urwid/main.py b/clients/urwid/main.py
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..983bb78
--- /dev/null
+++ b/clients/urwid/main.py
@@ -0,0 +1,248 @@
+from time import sleep, localtime
+from string import punctuation
+from subprocess import run
+from random import choice
+from network import BBJ
+import urwid
+
+network = BBJ(host="127.0.0.1", port=8080)
+
+obnoxious_logo = """
+       OwO    8 888888888o    8 888888888o               8 8888         1337
+   %          8 8888    `88.  8 8888    `88.          !  8 8888   >><>
+       !!     8 8888     `88  8 8888     `88   *         8 8888
+ $            8 8888     ,88  8 8888     ,88             8 8888    <><><><>
+    <3        8 8888.   ,88'  8 8888.   ,88'      !      8 8888    ^   >|
+           ^  8 8888888888    8 8888888888               8 8888    ----||
+      (       8 8888    `88.  8 8888    `88.  88.        8 8888         |
+              8 8888      88  8 8888      88  `88.    |  8 888'    !??!
+  g      ?    8 8888.   ,88'  8 8888.   ,88'    `88o.   .8 88'  ----_
+              8 888888888P    8 888888888P        `Y888888 '         |
+"""
+
+welcome = """
+>>> Welcome to Bulletin Butter & Jelly! ---------------------------------------@
+| BBJ is a persistent, chronologically ordered discussion board for tilde.town.|
+| You may log in, register as a new user, or participate anonymously.          |
+| \033[1;31mTo go anon, just press enter. Otherwise, give me a name (registered or not)\033[0m  |
+@______________________________________________________________________________@
+"""
+
+colors = [
+    "\033[1;31m", "\033[1;33m", "\033[1;33m",
+    "\033[1;32m", "\033[1;34m", "\033[1;35m"
+]
+
+
+class App:
+    def __init__(self):
+        colors = [
+            ("bar", "light magenta", "default", "underline"),
+            ("button", "light red", "default")
+        ]
+        self.loop = urwid.MainLoop(urwid.Frame(
+            urwid.LineBox(ActionBox(urwid.SimpleFocusListWalker([]))),
+        ), colors)
+        self.date_format = "{1}/{2}/{0}"
+        self.index()
+
+
+    def set_header(self, text, *format_specs):
+        self.loop.widget.header = urwid.AttrMap(urwid.Text(
+            ("%s@bbj | " % network.user_name)
+            + text.format(*format_specs)
+        ), "bar")
+
+
+    def set_footer(self, *controls):
+        text = str()
+        for control in controls:
+            text += "[{}]{} ".format(control[0], control[1:])
+        self.loop.widget.footer = urwid.AttrMap(urwid.Text(text), "bar")
+
+
+    def readable_delta(self, created, modified):
+        delta = modified - created
+        minutes = delta // 60
+        if not minutes:
+            return "less than a minute ago"
+        elif minutes < 60:
+            return "%d minutes ago" % minutes
+        hours = delta // 60
+        if hours == 1:
+            return "about an hour ago"
+        elif hours < 48:
+            return "%d hours ago" % hours
+        return self.date_format.format(*localtime(modified))
+
+
+    def index(self):
+        threads, usermap = network.thread_index()
+        self.set_header("{} threads", len(threads))
+        self.set_footer("Compose")
+        walker = self.loop.widget.body.base_widget.body
+        for thread in threads:
+            button = urwid.Button("", self.thread_load, thread["thread_id"])
+            super(urwid.Button, button).__init__(
+                urwid.SelectableIcon(">>"))
+            title = urwid.Text(thread["title"])
+
+            last_mod = thread["last_mod"]
+            created = thread["created"]
+            infoline = "by ~{} @ {} | last active {}".format(
+                usermap[thread["author"]]["user_name"],
+                self.date_format.format(*localtime(created)),
+                self.readable_delta(created, last_mod)
+            )
+
+            walker.append(urwid.Columns([(3, urwid.AttrMap(button, "button")), title]))
+            walker.append(urwid.Text(infoline))
+            walker.append(urwid.Divider("-"))
+
+
+    def thread_load(self, button, thread_id):
+        thread, usermap = network.thread_load(thread_id)
+        walker = self.loop.widget.body.base_widget.body
+        walker.clear()
+        self.set_header("~{}: {}",
+            usermap[thread["author"]]["user_name"], thread["title"])
+        for message in thread["messages"]:
+            pass
+
+
+class ActionBox(urwid.ListBox):
+    pass
+
+
+def motherfucking_rainbows(string, inputmode=False, end="\n"):
+    """
+    I cANtT FeELLE MyYE FACECsEE ANYrrMOROeeee!!
+    """
+    for character in string:
+        print(choice(colors) + character, end="")
+    print('\033[0m', end="")
+    if inputmode:
+        return input("")
+    return print(end, end="")
+
+
+def paren_prompt(text, positive=True, choices=[]):
+    """
+    input(), but riced the fuck out. Changes color depending on
+    the value of positive (blue/green for good stuff, red/yellow
+    for bad stuff like invalid input), and has a multiple choice
+    system capable of rejecting unavailable choices and highlighting
+    their first characters.
+    """
+    end = text[-1]
+    if end != "?" and end in punctuation:
+        text = text[0:-1]
+
+    mood = ("\033[1;36m", "\033[1;32m") if positive \
+           else ("\033[1;31m", "\033[1;33m")
+
+    if choices:
+        prompt = "%s{" % mood[0]
+        for choice in choices:
+            prompt += "{0}[{1}{0}]{2}{3} ".format(
+                "\033[1;35m", choice[0], mood[1], choice[1:])
+        formatted_choices = prompt[:-1] + ("%s}" % mood[0])
+    else:
+        formatted_choices = ""
+
+    try:
+        response = input("{0}({1}{2}{0}){3}> \033[0m".format(
+            *mood, text, formatted_choices))
+        if not choices:
+            return response
+        elif response == "":
+            response = " "
+        char = response.lower()[0]
+        if char in [c[0] for c in choices]:
+            return char
+        return paren_prompt("Invalid choice", False, choices)
+
+    except EOFError:
+        print("")
+        return ""
+
+    except KeyboardInterrupt:
+        exit("\nNevermind then!")
+
+
+def sane_value(key, prompt, positive=True, return_empty=False):
+    response = paren_prompt(prompt, positive)
+    if return_empty and response == "":
+        return response
+    try: network.validate(key, response)
+    except AssertionError as e:
+        return sane_value(key, e.description, False)
+    return response
+
+
+def log_in():
+    """
+    Handles login or registration using the oldschool input()
+    method. The user is run through this before starting the
+    curses app.
+    """
+    name = sane_value("user_name", "Username", return_empty=True)
+    if name == "":
+        motherfucking_rainbows("~~W3 4R3 4n0nYm0u5~~")
+    else:
+        # ConnectionRefusedError means registered but needs a
+        # password, ValueError means we need to register the user.
+        try:
+            network.set_credentials(name, "")
+            # make it easy for people who use an empty password =)
+            motherfucking_rainbows("~~logged in as {}~~".format(network.user_name))
+
+        except ConnectionRefusedError:
+            def login_loop(prompt, positive):
+                try:
+                    password = paren_prompt(prompt, positive)
+                    network.set_credentials(name, password)
+                except ConnectionRefusedError:
+                    login_loop("// R E J E C T E D //.", False)
+
+            login_loop("Enter your password", True)
+            motherfucking_rainbows("~~logged in as {}~~".format(network.user_name))
+
+        except ValueError:
+            motherfucking_rainbows("Nice to meet'cha, %s!" % name)
+            response = paren_prompt(
+                "Register as %s?" % name,
+                choices=["yes!", "change name"]
+            )
+
+            if response == "c":
+                name = sane_value("user_name", "Pick a new name")
+
+            def password_loop(prompt, positive=True):
+                response1 = paren_prompt(prompt, positive)
+                if response1 == "":
+                    confprompt = "Confirm empty password"
+                else:
+                    confprompt = "Confirm it"
+                response2 = paren_prompt(confprompt)
+                if response1 != response2:
+                    return password_loop("Those didnt match. Try again", False)
+                return response1
+
+            password = password_loop("Enter a password. It can be empty if you want")
+            network.user_register(name, password)
+            motherfucking_rainbows("~~welcome to the party, %s!~~" % network.user_name)
+
+
+def main():
+    run("clear", shell=True)
+    motherfucking_rainbows(obnoxious_logo)
+    print(welcome)
+    log_in()
+    # sleep(1) # let that confirmation message shine
+
+if __name__ == "__main__":
+    global app
+    main()
+    app = App()
+    app.loop.run()
diff --git a/clients/urwid/network.py b/clients/urwid/network.py
new file mode 120000
index 0000000..b69adfd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/clients/urwid/network.py
@@ -0,0 +1 @@
+../network_client.py
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/clients/urwid/not now but soon b/clients/urwid/not now but soon
deleted file mode 100644
index 0e55cf3..0000000
--- a/clients/urwid/not now but soon	
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,3 +0,0 @@
-sorry
-
-emacs is cooler anyway 8)
\ No newline at end of file