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layout: post
title: "Content warning: emotional blackmail"
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Content warning: emotional blackmail. 

"If you don't do what I want you 
to, I'll kill myself." 

My mother said that to me when I was ten years 
old or younger. Yes, my mother. I didn't know what to do. I didn't even 
think to call the police. My siblings - a younger brother and a younger 
sister - were there as well. 

"Well? Do you want me to jump down from 
nine storeys high, or not? Shall I do it now?" 

My brother and I refused 
to give in. But my sister rushed to Mummy and said, sobbing: "I love 
you, Mummy, please don't jump." 

Fast forward to my fifteen-year-old 
self: I came in first in my cohort, in academic performance. 

At 
twenty-three years old: I felt unwell (mentally or otherwise). My 
university class-mates started avoiding me. 

Now, at thirty years old: 
Looking back, it was hardly surprising that I suffered a break-down. I 
had to attend to my wounds - emotional or otherwise - from my childhood. 
All those years, I had been avoiding it, pretending everything was fine. 
Now I feel much better, thanks to a Biblical God. And I wish - and 
practise - kindness towards my mother, because that's what my god wants. 

If you're suffering similarly right now, I hope my message encourages 
you.