From e9d2770a6417147de81097332dac78e6b5ae9e8c Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Pheng Heong TAN Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2017 21:25:59 +0800 Subject: [PATCH] To G!D be ever-lasting glory Amen. Praise be to G!D. --- diary.html | 157 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++- 1 file changed, 156 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/diary.html b/diary.html index eed0de7..654d4f0 100644 --- a/diary.html +++ b/diary.html @@ -26,12 +26,167 @@ and reconciliation to G!D - for G!D knows and I do not know who or where or how or what G!D chooses to pour breathe His Spirit into.
- And as an advance: worship me not - do not worship me. I am a servant of G!D, just like you. Worship G!D + And as an advance: worship me not - do not worship me. I am a servant of G!D, just like you. Worship G!D. I am nothing without + the Anointed One, Jesus, who calls himself the Son of Man, as the branch is nothing without the vine - or, as the leaf is nothing + without the tree.

it is the seventeenth day of the third month of the 105th year since a nation was publicly recognised
+ It's the twenty-third day of my challenge to eat vegetarian for forty days. +
+ I went to a gathering where people talked about Christianity. At the end, I wondered, aloud, what kind of person + G!D is. I said in the group discussion that I can't open my heart easily to Him, and told those people in the small group + that I am of the kind who are more suspicious. Afterwards, a woman person in the group came up to me + and said that she sensed yearning and a lot of resistance in me. She also showed me a quote by Joseph Campbell, which + went: 'the greatest treasures are in the caves that you fear most to tread'. She asked me how I was feeling. I told her + I felt thankful for the opportunity for discussion. I don't think that covered the depth of my feelings. + + I am angry. I feel anger towards G!D. Where was He when I was hurt, upset or forced to do things [under oppression]? + How can the people at the discussion talk about G!D's plan for me, when He feels distant? + + I feel naked. I feel like the outcast of the group in a reality show [on television], unable and unwilling to join the + group in their comfort, solidarity, trust and security in the group. I feel left out. I feel lonely. Most of all, I + feel afraid. I feel afraid to trust again in someone, something or G!D himself. I feel very vulnerable. + + I went to a psychiatric mental-health institution to seek help, attention and resolution. I expected + liberty, but I experienced coercion and oppression [even when I was finite in resources and energy, that is, + more precisely, needy, as in one of the needy or poor]. I learnt that I could not leave the ward at Acme Institute, + even if I wanted. [the name of the institute is masked, or anonymised - Jesus said: 'Be merciful, as your Master, who bought you for a price, + is merciful]. I learnt that the doctor, people who spent time with me previously (who said, "I am your father" and + "I am your mother"), and the social worker decided where and when I would stay and/or leave the ward [in the sense that + their approval, or authorisation, or their company, was required, for those to happen, as I had observed]. I was + pressured into taking medication by nurses, despite my + wishes to not consume them; + I was threatened with an indefinite incarceration in the hospital. + although i wanted to leave, I could not. how can people + say G!D has s plan for me when G!D feels so + far away as I went through that? + + from the writer: as the Quran says, even the prophets + and the fellow who were with them, cried out, + 'our Lord 1 where are you / verily, verily, the mercy of g1d is near 1' + + + Can somebody tell me that was G1D's plan for me + + sure? + + the remark that gave me the greatest emotional impact + was that G!D loved me unconditionally. + + + It felt like a hand + + from the writer: 'wipe the tears from your eyes. be dismayed + no more. For I, the LORD G!D, have struck + you in anger, for your sins were flagrant, + but you- you- I will have compassion + on you. You belong to Me, O Israel, + though I have scattered you into + distant lands and nations, and you + were stricken. You belong to Me, + and you will be with Me for-ever.

+ Praise be to G!D. I praise You, + for You have shown lovingkindness, + even to a poor spirit, a lowly heart, + a wretch like myself. +
+ Burst into song, mountains!
+ Tap-dance, trees!
+ Glow and flare, o stars!
+ For the LORD G!D hath redeemed for Himself + a daughter, a son, a nation, a city!'

+ + (what? would you rather G!D take angels for + daughters, and cherubims for sons?)

+ + Praise be to G!D (thank you, Daddy) +
+ + Wipe your tears from your eyes. + Do not be dismayed.
+ + Gardens of bliss, under which rivers + flow, spouses delighting in each other, + the objective of life, the felicity most high, + absolute beauty, supreme over all other felicity, + for the good pleasure of G!D, the Cherisher + and Sustainer of the Worlds.
+ + Thou art my shepherd; + I shall not want.
+ + I know no other Rock. + There is none like You. + I know no other Stone. + I know no other G!D.
+ + Blessed is He who hath given rest to His + people. May all nations come to know + that our Lord is G!D, and that there + is no other G!D other than He, and that + G!D is our G!D. To G!D be to the glory + for-ever and ever. Amen. (so it is).
+ + + It felt like a hand, gently being placed against my + heart. + + It felt like a piece of cloth being thrown against + my face. 'You don't have to earn that love,' that person + said. What if that was true? How can I trust G!D + not to hurt me? How can I trust G!D to not leave + me on my own? How can someone say, 'If you believe in + G!D, you will go through suffering' so matter-of-factly? + I don't want. + + Why does G!D make me suffer? If He is there, why does + G!D allow people to suffer? Very briefly, I also + wonder how we can end suffering, G!D or not. + + G!D. what will You do with me if I open my heart + to you? + + Who gave me food, shelter and clothes when I was + looking for them? + + + from the writer: 'I, the LORD G!D, have forgotten + your sins, and remember them no more. + as I said in the days of Noah after + the flood, I will not again cause + another world-destroying flood.'
+ "I promise + I will never stop doing good to her, and remind + her to fear me, and keep my commandment," saith + G!D, the Lord of lords, and King of kings. +
+ (O LORD, our Father, you are the potter, we + are the clay; we are all the work of Your hands) +
+ I will never tire of praising G!D
+ I praise You, oh LORD, for I am fearfully + and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful; + that I know full well. +
+
+ [Who gave me food, shelter and clothes when I was + looking for them?] + I needed those. Is it G!D? Is G!D there? + What does G!D do to people? I felt resentful towards G!D; + I'm not sure if I still do. + + from the writer: the end of a thing is as powerful + as its beginning. and the patient in spirit is superior + to the proud in spirit. (as written in Scripture) +
I love you, G!D.
+ G!D hath no begotten son, + and has no beings attached. (as written in Scripture + that some call "Quran") +I +