<!DOCTYPE html> <html> <head> <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="solarized_light.css"> </head> <h3> The wondrous works my god has done in my life </h3> <body> <ol> <li>In late 2013 A.D. or early 2014, I was alone at night on a long stretch of road. Before I knew it, I had a pack of dogs, which had lined themselves down the road, barking at me. I did not see how I could leave. Just when I thought I was in a terrible situation, a stranger came by in a car. I waved to him and miraculously, that stranger stopped for me and let me in. I thank my god for that rescue. That stranger would drop me off in a place that was better-lit (by street-lamps), and did not charge me any money for the ride. </li> <li>This happened between the years 2016 A.D. to 2018 A.D. In Indonesia, I was feeling thirsty. I was on a mini-bus then, and if I had brought water with me, I had run out of it. Looking around, , I saw a water-bottle in a dustbin (or trash-can) that was inside the bus. Long story short, I drank it. And I thank my god that he gives me what is needful for me. As it is written, the Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want. (Psalm 23) </li> <li>A man who was physically bulkier than me sat on top of me as I laid down on the bed, stomach down. He unbuckled my belt and I had the impression that he wanted sexual activities with me. I shook my head. "You don't want [it]," he said, and left the hotel room that we were both in. I don't think I had that much influence over his decision to leave. Maybe my god rescued me. My god is my saviour and my Rock. </li> </ol> <hr /> <h3>A longer story about God and me </h3> <p> At some point in time between the years 2013 and 2017, I was acutely aware that something was just not quite right with my life. I've felt that way, before 2013, I guess, but it had become something I just could not ignore. I somehow ended up doing the following: <ul> <li>travelling to Thailand, perhaps hoping that I could escape my problems if I travelled </li> <li>drinking alcoholic beverages </li> <li>sending myself to an institution of psychiatry, which might have been called a sanitarium or asylum, in older days. </li> <li>asking for help from certain members of the staff of the university that I was then enrolled in, as an undergraduate. One particular member of the staff would accuse me of being possessed by "the devil". </li> <li>stealing food from a refridgerator/fridge that was shared among my dormitory-mates, among other fridges </li> </ul> Long story short, I felt better after reading verses from the Bible. Epistles (or letters) by the apostle Paul helped me, in particular. I grew to fear God, in a gradual process. </p> <p>As I read more about God from the Bible, I discovered, or realised, that I have done things that God finds abominable. For example, God says in the Old Testament that "thou shalt not steal (you shall not steal)". (Exodus 20:15). <p>I asked God to help me be a better person, if only to end my suffering, if only to feel better. It seemed that I could not help myself feel better, no matter how much I tried. I guess it could be said that I tried to repent. I am still trying to repent. </p> <p>I think God loves me. He is giving me kindness. For example, I have sunshine most of the time (I need sunshine). And God made the sun. Plus, I grew to believe someone, or some being, or an existence other than my own, died in my place. Like, I believe I deserved to be struck dead after doing things that God doesn't like - in other words, I should have died for my sins (including stealing). But someone called Jesus, whom I would later address as Lord Jesus, suffered the punishment for my sins. I believe God is forgiving. I frequently ask God to forgive me. Lord Jesus has said, "Forgive, and you will be forgiven". So I try to forgive others whom I encounter in everyday life. It could be the staff of a restaurant who abruptly cleans the table I'm at, without so much as a smile at me. Lord Jesus taught mankind a prayer that includes the line, "Father in Heaven [...], forgive us our debts, as we have forgiven our debtors". So, I ask God to be nice to that particular member of the restaurant-staff who did not smile at me, who seemed so robot-like to me. I do this in the hopes that I myself am forgiven. </p> <p>Long story short, and as a way to summarise the above, I note the following: <ol> <li>I felt distressed, severely so </li> <li>I exhausted all the ways I could find to make myself feel better, without success </li> <li>I came across verses in the Bible. Or, as I now believe, God sent the Bible to me, in His generosity. </li> <li>I asked God for wisdom to understand what I have read in the Bible. (And if I have wisdom now, I believe it was God who gave it to me. And I believe God is still giving wisdom to me, as I write this - consider me a fool!) </li> <li>I acted based on what I read in the Bible. </li> <li>I am happy now. I am in God's care. </li> </ol> </p> </body> </html>