dfa66ff1ac
'Are we to continue
in our transgressions
or past sins
or wrong-doings
against G!D -
that is, are we
do things that
G!D detests -
are we to continue
in ways dis-pleasing
to G!D so that
grace
or forgiveness may
abound?
Is it not written
in Scriptures the following
words: '
I am afraid that when I come
to you my god will humble
me before you, and I will
be grieved to see that
many of you
have not repented of
(or dissociated yourselves from)
your past
sins
(or, wrong-doings
which you know,
and which you have received
pardon for, through
the one and only
eternal
sacrifice
of our Teacher and Lord,
Jesus Christ, (whom I am not above),
wrong-doings, oh, like what? Such as:
- idol worship. taking
a being before G!D, who has
no beings attached, for worship.
Golden statues of a sitting figure,
bowls of ceramic,
plastic blocks that burn eyes,
piles of flesh,
bags of bones
sacks of intestines
- lustful pursuit for things
of the world, ah, lustful
indulgences of desires
for things that are of the world
(is it not written in Scriptures
that everything of the world,
together with the world, is passing away)
(I feel a nasty feeling.
I am of course hated by many,
for they are of the world,
and G!D sent one who chose me
out of the world,
for that reason they hate me.
Putting psychological perspectives
aside
it might be better for you
to think I am an extra-terrestrial,
which is what some call what-they-call,
more accurate and better for you
to regard me as an E.T.
using words that are suitable for
your consumption
in a language that you know.
And you may begin
o- not asking for sympathy,
the reason why they hate me.)
- sexual matters that-
ah- I feel as if I ought to say
a few G!D-fearing words:
too many people
have secrets
and shame that they
carry
and it would be no surprise
that they inflict wounds on
others' well-being, sexually
or other-wise, through their
own unhealed emotions
or experiences. Suffice to say, (or not;
I'm concerned what about to say might
not be sufficient to please G!D in fear of
G!D. Still, trying)
quoting from a book from
Señorita Clarissa (who is not above
G!D, of course) those who regard
changes in the body
given to Man (or woman)
as evil (G!D knows what evil
is and I
do not know)
(continue to quote)
they are terribly confused
about G!D-given bodies,
confused about body, they are.'
So, cutting or mutilation of vaginas,
nsistence on so-called pure behaviour,
isolation of menstruating women,
periods, that is,
ways that teach people to feel
shame about what feels good -
masturbating, even -
unnecessary guilt-inflicting -
well, our Teacher and Lord has this to say:
'You say to your brother, your
friend, your menstruating stranger:
'Here, friend, stranger, let me,
as awkward as this may be for you,
let me take the pin out of your eye!
You hypocrite! Take the log
out of your own eye first!
Then you can see clearly
to help your friend, your menstruating
stranger (that is, having menses),
the one whom you call brother, bro,
abang, adik, sister!'
That's our Lord and Teacher for you,
who of course, was hated by the world,
and died for you and me and those
who are of the world. I suppose
an admission of my own faults
or wrong-doings is in order.
I'm even hastening to count myself
among the wicked and ungrateful;
it is written in words that have
breath of G!D in them:
'G!D is kind to the wicked and
ungrateful'
(of course, that does
not mean
that we- are we
to continue to wicked
and ungrateful ways,
now that we have pardon
from G!D Most High - a divine
pardon that the world does not give -
so that wrong-doers may receive
yet more pardon from above?
Certainly, that ought not to be the case,
brethren who are in the same family
as I.
So, yes, I do not want to continue
in my older sins.
How-ever shameful they may seem,
it may be healing to you and to me,
to confess them to each other,
in public or in private, and to pray
for each other; to enjoin
what is pleasing to G!D; and to
forbid what is wrong, or detestable
to G!D who loves justice
and detests wickedness
(surely o, you realise, perhaps,
for I surely realise how heinous
my acts were in the sight of
the All-knowing
All-hearing
and All-seeing One
and yet He pardoned me!
O, thank u thank u thank u thank u
thank You, O Compassionate
and Most Merciful One,
Lord of lords,
King of kings,
to whom all will come to worship,
for Your righteous acts are revealed
And who will not fear You?
For You are the only holy one:
You who was
You who is,
the Everlasting G!D
who does awe-inspiring
(awe-some)
deeds in just and true ways
Ah- confessions, confessions.
Have I visited sex workers,
or so-called street-walkers? Yes.
Paid money to have their company?
Yes.
Have I stolen what I have stolen? Yes.
Have I delighted in my biases,
(as socially conditioned as they may be,
for that is no excuse) against people
who look different from me:
have I delighted in calling them
names, being nasty to them generally,
(oh, not intending to play a victim
of circumstances. I knew what I was doing,
social conditioning or not. I wanted
to have- delight- or, it seemed
at that time,
doing (oh, how horrible, in
hindsight, how horrible a thing
to do to others, (oh) yes, for Man
is said to be made in the likeness of G!D)
now, thinking "I am horrible person"
"a monster"
now, a visit to a professional counsellor some
time ago, she asked me when I said
'I am such a horrible person"
she asked me
"why would you say that?"
Oh, it was simply
the best I could do at that time
I wanted to fit in
People around me
they were cool, to me, at least
and I wanted to do everything
that they did,
(imitation is the sincerest form
of flattery, ainnit, but that beside the point)
and well, turns out
I found a way to imitate them
and that happened at a restaurant ('fast
food', might be familiar to you; not gonna
advertise, of course, so no identifying name
of restaurant)
ya, I called them what-ever those whom I deemed 'cool'
at that time called them. Well, it is the name of their
race spelt backwards. They- ah- ha-ha-ha (laughing)
funny
how things turn out
'we of the Spirit of G!D do things that seem
foolish in the eyes of the world, and those who
are of the world' so it says in Scripture.
Well, wha- why am I laughing? To explain,
I don't care whether you laugh or not, it's still
funny to think about it - they- 'cool' people
thought they were foolish. So I had the audacity
to say whatever I wanted to them- those who were
perceived to be "foolish". Now I find myself
on the receiving end of being called "foolish"
(hah-hah-hah_
almost crying, tears coming to eyes (it's so funny)
not to say I don't wanna be called foolish now.
I do not mind (being called foolish, that is).
An honour, it is becoming, to be called foolish.
Yes, a great fool (big fool) I am.
ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
if you're interested, G!D gave me guidance
to not lose sense of humour, or brought me
to a person who left a message that said to 'learn
from nature; do not lose sense of humor ever; and
the image is of the mushroom that although
soft and fragile, breaks through concrete that is hard
and tough and rough to rub against or touch. Perseverance,
maybe, to put it in a word, or in two words,
patient endurance. One word: persistence: N' another word:
longsuffering. 'All of which you know I have gone
through,' Paul writes in letter about his persecutions
and ill-treatments. Yes, and you know through
pe- poetry- web-site, persecutions and seemingly
unfair or ill-treatment that I have endured.
Why? We of the Spirit of G!D walk in each
others' shoes along the same path. Gladly I boast
about all these; to build you up, this is for; for through
the Christ, for whose sake I boast happily and joyously,
as much as this makes me a fool - you- you have made
me to be like a fool, boasting like this - oh, I ought
to be receiving commendations from many
of you, even though
I am nothing at all, and do not count myself
among "ubermensch' or the most eminent apostles
or so-called 'super-men' or 'incredibles' or 'proletariat'
or 'pop stars', what-have-you. For I am strong
when I am weak. Delighting in weakness gladly
for the sake of the Christ, whom I am not above,
gladly boasting about thorn in flesh.
Voice in head that says 'You're lousy'
'what you're writing is boring'
(ha-ha-ha-ha)
lovely voices, they are.
'your voice is sweet; and your form is lovely' (from Scriptures,
if you're wondering)
Thank You, Papa, who is Heaven, and unseen
before men, for saving my soul, even though
I am little one and worm
(bawling like baby)
thank You (feeling as if patted or hugged)
1165 lines
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1165 lines
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<html>
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<head>
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In remembrance of Me (Christ Jesus, Isa, son of Miriam).
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'Be merciful, as your Master (Lord) is merciful.' - Isa, Jesus, son of Mary
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</head>
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<body>
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<div id="after-truth-what-is-left">
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<p>A-mong the stables /
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They found a ho-ly in-fant /
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Named Je-sus Christ
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</p>
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<p>L-':
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</p>
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<p>He came to bring peace /
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from the Al-migh-ty
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Jus[-]tice /
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G!d be with the world /
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</p>
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<p>In a muf-fin crumb /
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They found a spot to chat-ter /
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and spark a fi-re
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</p>
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<p><i>From Scriptures: 'they say
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'that feels good' around fire
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that they had started with
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blocks of wood that they had had
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cut, hewn, hauled - from buttressed trees
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that are in forests -
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with the help of G!D
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<br/>
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Then, ah- 'that feels good' they say
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loudly and softly (not nasty, sweetly
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and even surprisingly pleasant
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. a
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litle painful (maybe)
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fascinating
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intriguingly
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breath-taking
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and awe-strikingly
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beautiful and mesmerising
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<br /
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>
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After a while, they say to themselves,
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shall I-
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'shall I do- oh, yemmy,
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and yummy
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-
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shall I do a detestable thing,
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and worship
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a block of wood,
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or two blocks of wood
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or three
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or a pile of flesh
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or a bag of bones
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or a sack of intestines
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or a house for maggots
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or a body that is white
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with death,
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and feels cold to the touch,
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and is filling up with
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termites
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as a damp block of wood
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grows infested with white
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insects or moving bugs
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in a
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dim
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dank
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dark
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yawning mouth
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of a barn
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'
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</i>
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Compare if you will to
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(oh, grateful or not)
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what the Buddha
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said to monks (who were)
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overcome
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with lust
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when
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meditation
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on dead (naked)
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bodies (lily-white)
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in graveyards,
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exo-tic
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excruciatingly
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beautiful
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corpses. The Buddha
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said, 'it is twiching
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uncontrollably maybe,
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in what some call 'rigor
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mortis' , becoming stiff
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, swelling maybe with time,
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filling up with insects,
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eggs of flies hatching inside
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body,
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maggots crawling up and down,
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bed of body is scorpions
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and mushrooms
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sores are filling up in body
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as we or you or me or them
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look on, or speak.
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(or something like that)
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</p>
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<p>No matter the day /
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Je-sus is always with you /
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For-e'er and e-ver /
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<i> [no matter the sex,
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no matter your sexiness,
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no matter your grammer,
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or over-punctuation,
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Je-sus is always with
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you
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for-ever
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and ever
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and always]
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</i>
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</p>
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<p>In a dim kit-chen /
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I saw a lit-tle rab-bit /
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That had grown too old
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</p>
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<p>Show me the mean-ing /
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And I will show you the cure /
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To the pain of [L]ife
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</p>
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<p>Rab-bit is now dead /
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Wrap his bo-dy up in white /
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And down to new tombs!
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</p>
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<p>
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[El]
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Shad-dai colours things blue /
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And turns them grey, black, red-gold /
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Moon-dust glitters too
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</p>
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<p>They brought a new taste /
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G[!]d has ac-cursed in days past:
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'You shall eat with pain'
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<i><p>
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['Thou shalt eat with pain']
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huk-huk-hul
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ha-ha-ha (laughing)
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ha-ha-ha-ha
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it- still still-
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scary? laughing at laughing people?
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how about 'smirking'?
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'the pursuit of worldly, exquisite
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as they may, wealth that is of
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the world, or the world, which
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in its present form is passing away,
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is associated to acts of foolishness
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of all kinds. Yes, that includes
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the pursuit of so-called knowledge.'
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(written in Scriptures, this, yes.)
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'I want you to be wise
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about what is good, and innocent
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about what is evil, as much as
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everybody has heard about
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your obedience - that I rejoice over,
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everybody has heard about your
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obedience, and I rejoice.'
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'Or you think it is said for no reason
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that the spirit of G!D is a cause
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of envy? You adulteresses!
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If you choose to make yourself
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friend of world, you make yourself
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enemy of G!D, who hath no beings
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attached, know you not?' (as written
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in Scriptures)
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So, G!D knows what evil
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is, and I do not know (know
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this, please, if I emphasise
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not enough).
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and 'the love of money of worldly
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wealth or false knowledge is the root
|
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of Evil.' and G!D knows what Evil
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is, and I do not. N' of course G!D is
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good, G!D loves justice, detests
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wickedness. swift and terrible
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in punishment that is severe and lasts
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long. 'Fear of G!D is beginning
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of wisdom. But fools despise sound
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guidance and instruction.'
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</p></i>
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</p>
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<p>The muf-fin was made /
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And they do not seek its joy /
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Because it was made
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</p>
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<p>I have to re-turn /
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Walk-ing past the strangers here /
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They turned me a-way
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</p>
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<p>Long days con-ti-nue /
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In an in-sti-tu-tion[-]al /
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Man-ner of baking
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</p>
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<p>
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The birds out-side sing /
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While I hear the people scream /
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As I chew on it</p>
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<p>In the cool of Day /
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The Lord G!d walks in gardens /
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Where men walked be-fore
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</p>
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<p>Such was their joy /
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At see-ing G!d's only Son /
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They broke the quiet
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</p>
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<p>'Lis-ten care-ful-ly!' /
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He ur-gent-ly car-ried me /
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On a school-bus trip
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</p>
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<p>They are full of it /
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The thing that makes me write on /
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I am full of it
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</p>
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<p>They go out for tea /
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While I stay in bed and ask: /
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What's in the malt drink?
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</p>
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<p>G!d made birds which chirp /
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And con-ti[-]nue in the way /
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which G!d in-tended
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</p>
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<p>Sud-den-ly, a scream /
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Wakes me up from a light nap /
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While it dies a-way
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</p>
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<p>They put me be-hind /
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computers and [Chop-chop] gents /
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On an after-noon
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</p>
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<p>G!d made us to err /
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But are we
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afraid of it /
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That is the question
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</p>
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<p>
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</p>
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</div>
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<div>
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<p>Dear Diary,
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</p>
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Scripture tells me not to say that in
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twenty years you will repay the wicked
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and un-just for what they have
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done, for is not G!d a good G!d?
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that question
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rings in my
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mind: Is G!d a G!d, who rewards the wicked?
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</p>
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<p>
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Estee the educator, and
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Garnyg the officer, with another man,
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the technologist, have
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rendered me
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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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</p>
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<p><i>from the writer: mysterious
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marks that look that a snake
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with a pin struck through it.
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may or may not be the letter 'z' from
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the English alphabet.
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</i>
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</p>
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<p>to a physician. Embittered of soul,
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I rest and become restless, -
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taking comfort in the affection
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of the family of believers
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and followers of Christ.
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'You know of my way of life,
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my persecution at
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Antioch, my longsuffering,
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my patience...' wrote the
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apostle
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Paul, who cautioned in the
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same letter
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</p>
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<p><i>from the writer:
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As written in Scriptures:
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'What then is Paul? What then
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is Apollo?' (what)
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<br/>
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'G!D loves not those who delight
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in wickedness. Mischief-makers,
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G!D loves not.' (from Scriptures
|
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that some call the Quran)
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<br/>
|
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'I want you to show mercy (love),'
|
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says the LORD G!D, (as written
|
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in Scriptures.) 'Not to offer
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sacrifices. I want you to know me
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(G!D).'
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<br/>
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Oh, thank You, oh Compassionate
|
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and Most Merciful One, who is
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swift and severe and terrible
|
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in punishment: eternal abode
|
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in Fire, at an hour when there
|
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will be no (outside) help,
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no intercession, and no hand
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of compassion to be extended;
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and then there will be angels
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striking back and behind
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and cheeks
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and neck (décolletage, heads
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shoulders, knees and toes,
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knees and toes) of people who will
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have displaced lips; and then
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there will be weeping, and
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stamping of feet, most sorrowful,
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and grinding an' gnashing of teeth.
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(ah, that feels extremely
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satisfying, G!D, who reminds me
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to leave the righteous anger
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of G!D to G!D). afore-mentioned
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may be verified to be recorded
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in the Quran, the Bible and elsewhere
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which may or may not be unknown
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to me.
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<br/>
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And so it is that what the Teacher
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and Lord says is true: 'Blessed
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are you who hunger and thirst
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for righteousness, for you
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will be satisfied.' so says the
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Son of Man. As surely as the LORD
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G!D, the Almighty One lives,
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I hunger and thirst for righteousness,
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for the wicked to have no peace, and
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no rest, and for those who
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fear G!D to be rewarded and exalted.
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And as surely as the LORD lives,
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I have been satisfied in great
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and mighty ways that I did not know,
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and G!D promises that... this:
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'Call to Me, and I will show
|
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you great and mighty things
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which you do not know.'
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</i>
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</p>
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<p>'But mark this: there will be
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terrible times in the last days.
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They will be brutal, lovers of
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themselves rather than lovers
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of G!d, not lov'rs of the
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good... [or,
|
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not lovers of the Good, to be
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precise, for some glory in
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their shame, and say, 'I have
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done no wrong!']'
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</p>
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<p>Gekeng the social worker
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is someone [whom] you should be
|
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on your guard against. G!d will
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pay them in retri-bution for
|
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what they have done to me.
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Be careful when you
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<i>
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[very
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faint marks (as in, hand-writing,
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for context)]
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</i>
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afflicted in Singapore with them.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><i>from the writer: very
|
|
faint marks again
|
|
</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>G!d has given me a channel
|
|
to <i>
|
|
[faint marks] (guessing the word
|
|
is 'know')
|
|
</i> Him more.
|
|
Diary, you just a vapour that
|
|
appears for a little while,
|
|
and then
|
|
<i>(guessing the word is...
|
|
oh, G!D knows, and I do not
|
|
know. Yes, G!D knows, and
|
|
I do not know.)
|
|
Doing guess-work: 'the Almighty
|
|
causes lovers to scatter in the wind!'
|
|
</i>
|
|
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>[El] Shaddai darkens the evening
|
|
with the descent of night, and raises
|
|
the song of crickets up to
|
|
the lights of the sky which
|
|
He made, in epilogue to evening
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><i>[very faint marks]
|
|
</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>May glory be to G!d[,]
|
|
and may peace be with you
|
|
in the name of the Lord Christ
|
|
Jesus.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>I am fading away, and repenting
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>I am going to meet
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><i>[faint marks again, perhaps
|
|
fittingly so] Praise be to G!D
|
|
Most High
|
|
</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<p><a>
|
|
</a>Can one who hates justice govern
|
|
the rising and setting of the sun,
|
|
and the times when salmon going up-stream
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><a href="after-truth-what-is-left">
|
|
O Lord, teach us to number our days,
|
|
so that we may live with wisdom, O blessed Father
|
|
through Jesus Christ (Amen)
|
|
</a>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><a href="#envy-jealousy-foolishness-force-of-wind">
|
|
'The mouth of a fool invites ruin. And
|
|
a rod is for the back of he.. she... they
|
|
who lack judgment'
|
|
</a>
|
|
</p>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><a href="#they-said-what-do-we-do-now">
|
|
'Most people do not know what
|
|
to do with their time,' [Mister] Suzuki,
|
|
also known as 'Mister Homeless Kodo'
|
|
said. Guess what Christ Jesus allowed
|
|
them to do with their lives? (Wow)
|
|
Suddenly they have a lot of motivation
|
|
to scheme and plot and do something with the
|
|
time which most people do not know
|
|
what to do with, huh? Better than holiday trip -
|
|
it's free of charge!
|
|
ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha (seemingly crazy
|
|
man cannot stop laughing)
|
|
Thank You, O G!D, who loves justice,
|
|
and detests wickedness. You are the potter,
|
|
we are the clay, we are all the work
|
|
of Your hands, our Father. (book of
|
|
Isaiah,
|
|
maybe)
|
|
</a>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><a href="#they-asked-what-do-we-do-now">
|
|
'Jesus, Jesus,' they said. 'Your mother
|
|
and your brothers and sisters and siblings
|
|
are outside the temple where you are teaching,
|
|
waiting to be let in. Outside the city
|
|
where you are teaching, they are there,
|
|
too! Your Mum! Still others are outside
|
|
the country, at the immigration offices!'
|
|
Jesus said to them: 'My mother and brothers
|
|
and sisters, brethren, kin, obey G!D, and
|
|
keep the commandments of G!D. They are
|
|
those who obey G!D, and keep the commandments
|
|
of G!D - those are my mother and brethren.'
|
|
(as written in Scriptures, every word of
|
|
which 'av the breath of G!D in them,
|
|
and are suitable for disciplining,
|
|
rebuking, and making one wise for salvation
|
|
through CHrists Jesus)
|
|
</a>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<a href="#i-am-nothing-at-all">
|
|
'They say, "Peace, peace", but there is no peace!
|
|
They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious.
|
|
'Peace, peace,' they say, when there is no peace.' (Book
|
|
of Jeremiah, chapter 6, verse 14). http://biblehub.com/jeremiah/6-14.htm
|
|
|
|
<br/>
|
|
“So My hand will be against the prophets who see
|
|
false visions and utter lying divinations.
|
|
They will have no place in the council of My people,
|
|
nor will they be written down in the register of the
|
|
house of Israel, nor will they enter the land of Israel,
|
|
that you may know that I am the Lord GOD." (Book of Ezekiel,
|
|
chapter 13, verse 9) http://biblehub.com/nasb/ezekiel/13.htm
|
|
</a>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>
|
|
<a href="#do-not-return-wickedness-for-wickedness-take-heed">
|
|
See- see if there is any wicked way in me, Daddy, and lead me
|
|
in the way ever-lasting and true. Through Christ Jesus. Amen.
|
|
</a></p>
|
|
<a href="#san">
|
|
'Do not be overly angry, O Lord.
|
|
Do not be angry beyond measure
|
|
with us, O Judge over the Day
|
|
of Judgment!' ("repent, for the
|
|
kingdom of G!D - the kingdom
|
|
of Heaven - is near! It is not
|
|
far!" Jesus, the Christ, saying).
|
|
</a>
|
|
<a href="#quattro"
|
|
>Your- do not be afraid. Take courage.
|
|
Your father, who is in Heaven, your Father
|
|
is given great happiness to give you'
|
|
the kingdom' (as Scriptures have on record)
|
|
:-) ^_^
|
|
</a>
|
|
<p>
|
|
|
|
Blessed art thou, father in Heaven.
|
|
our one and only Father.
|
|
our one and only father, blessed art
|
|
thou.
|
|
ruler of the universe (and
|
|
everything in it)
|
|
hallowed is thy name.
|
|
thy kingdom come!
|
|
</p>
|
|
<a href="#five">'How do we know when we have reached perfect love? When there is no
|
|
more fear' (from Scriptures)</a>
|
|
</p>
|
|
|
|
<div><p>
|
|
|
|
May the merit of joyous effort and such like be to
|
|
exalt the Most Merciful and Compassionate One. Who?
|
|
the Accepting of repentance, the oft-forgivin' and oft-returning.
|
|
</p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div>
|
|
O, G!D who grants passage of boats across oceans even
|
|
help me
|
|
to let Your affairs be my concern
|
|
my only concern
|
|
I don't wanna care about things of the world
|
|
For master has bought servant for a prrr-- prrr---
|
|
price
|
|
that the world doesn't pay
|
|
a price master has paid in full
|
|
so help me
|
|
not to divide my focus
|
|
help me not care
|
|
'bout affairs of the world
|
|
and how to please them -
|
|
who are of the world -
|
|
but be concerned
|
|
about Your affairs
|
|
and care 'bout whether
|
|
You are pleased or not
|
|
Will they help me
|
|
if You are angry with me?
|
|
I don't wanna be enemy
|
|
of G!D
|
|
So G!D help me
|
|
even if this means
|
|
being enemies of the world
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div><p>
|
|
<i>Mysterious marks that look
|
|
like a bee approaching a flower
|
|
<p>She bangs / she bangs
|
|
o is G!D woman or man /
|
|
think for a moment /
|
|
and you're dead /
|
|
is this Heaven /
|
|
or Hell /
|
|
think for a moment /
|
|
and /
|
|
you're dead /
|
|
HA!
|
|
</p>
|
|
</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div><p>Dear Diary,
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>How are you? May peace be
|
|
with you with you, in the name
|
|
of
|
|
[or on the behalf of]
|
|
the Lord [of ours], Jesus Christ.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>Although I am persecuted, a reading of the [g]ospel
|
|
might be as enlightening
|
|
for you
|
|
as it was
|
|
for me:
|
|
'If the world
|
|
hates you,
|
|
remember that the world
|
|
hated [M]e before you.'
|
|
(Jn 15:18, Christian Community Bible)
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>G!d brought my non-Christian [']parents[']
|
|
to me in the evening. I was feeling blessed and later,
|
|
sad and sorrowful and confused. G!d gave
|
|
me the
|
|
opportunity so my parents and I spent the time with reading <strike>the
|
|
</strike>
|
|
|
|
newspapers,
|
|
eating fruits (which I gave
|
|
thanks to G!d for[,] [for] blessing
|
|
me).
|
|
Reflecting, I want to give thanks
|
|
to G!d for
|
|
blessing
|
|
the three
|
|
of us,
|
|
and the rest of us
|
|
who are residing at
|
|
the wards of Institue of
|
|
Mental Health, for our daily
|
|
bread, food, water, clothing
|
|
and shelter, and meat in
|
|
the evening
|
|
, and fruits
|
|
for for the three
|
|
of us (my [']father['],
|
|
my [']mother[']
|
|
and myself) Amen.
|
|
</p>;
|
|
|
|
<p>I was sorrowful at letting
|
|
Christ go to his Father;
|
|
while I meditated, tears came
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>from the writer:
|
|
<i>
|
|
[Mister Chopra addressed this
|
|
somewhere - on a web-site maybe,
|
|
of course, with G!D's help, that's one
|
|
way to cope with changes that
|
|
arise with spiritual growth...
|
|
flower bear fruit, might be painful
|
|
to bear fruit maybe, hm :-) (smiling)]
|
|
</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>I felt like pressure inside me
|
|
had been released. I know
|
|
I ought to be glad, but Jesus would
|
|
be going (and <strike>while</strike>
|
|
loving me) and coming to you
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><i>The writer, or editor, if you will,
|
|
is undecided whe'er to correct- oops-
|
|
suggest the word
|
|
'going' instead of
|
|
'coming' - suffice to say
|
|
that in a book that's entitled
|
|
"Praise to a formless god"
|
|
it is written that "No coming, no going."
|
|
Another portion - oh G!D help me
|
|
to keep from becomin' proud -
|
|
is that "is the fruit latent in the seed?
|
|
is the seed latent in the fruit?"
|
|
Another still, yet, from G!D-knows-who-and-I-do-not-know
|
|
:<br/>
|
|
Chicken lays an egg /
|
|
Who would have held pee in, oh! /
|
|
How ridiculously simple!
|
|
|
|
</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>
|
|
I'm glad [Oh]
|
|
I'm glad.
|
|
I'm glad.
|
|
I'm not sad,
|
|
Christ is loved.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>Talk to you [a]nother time, beloved.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>Thank you, Jesus. May the Christ be
|
|
blessed.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>In Christ's love.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><i>mark that looks like the letter 'G'. ('mark', as in hand-writing)
|
|
'G' for good, maybe :-)
|
|
<br/>
|
|
^_^
|
|
</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div id="envy-jealousy-foolishness-force-of-wind">
|
|
<p><i>Mysterious marks that look like [four] tongues of flame
|
|
</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>
|
|
|
|
Dear Diary ,
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>They fed me food and meds /
|
|
I was denied when fasting /
|
|
Oh, G!d, Your creatures
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>Tumbling wood-blocks /
|
|
Next to a volume of pulp /
|
|
I get a break-down
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>The sky rumbles in /
|
|
On the fourth day of my death /
|
|
My bones stop jiggling
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>Water pours into drain /
|
|
Cold air brushes past early /
|
|
On a bird's morning
|
|
</p>
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div id="they-said-what-do-we-do-now">
|
|
<p>Dear Dear Diary, </p>
|
|
<p>May peace be with you, in the name
|
|
of the Lord [of ours], Christ Jesus.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>[El] Shaddai moves the woman with
|
|
[H]is mighty hand, and I do not dare
|
|
to lay with her if she appears.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>I am fading in and out on the second day. G!d
|
|
put me on
|
|
</p><i>
|
|
<p>from the writer: faint marks, as in hand-writing
|
|
</p>
|
|
</i>
|
|
<p>new accommodation.
|
|
</p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div id="i-am-nothing-at-all">
|
|
<p>Dear Diary,
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>Many are the clouds that [El] Shaddai draws from the curves of the sea
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>And with [H]is mighty hand He brings forth a dark green clam from the depth
|
|
[that] He hides from the knowledge of Man in His wrath which abideth until belief
|
|
in the Son
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>A swinging sword /<br />
|
|
brought forth by G!D / <br />
|
|
from Mary
|
|
</p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div id="do-not-return-wickedness-for-wickedness-take-heed">
|
|
<p>Dear Diary,
|
|
May peace with you, in the name of the son of the Almighty, Christ
|
|
Jesus, [who is] Lord. [whom I am not above]
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>The man with emerald skin of crystalline substance appeared before me.
|
|
His eyes were ablaze, and out of his mouth was a double-edged sword, and in his
|
|
hand was the Star of David, and encountering him by the river, I saw that
|
|
his feet were like bronze that had passed through fire, as I fell to his feet.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>'Peace!' he said. 'Calamity will come soon, but I am with you until the end of
|
|
the age.'
|
|
</p>
|
|
<i>
|
|
<p>The writer thinking whether to record suspicions of idol-worship or
|
|
a flashing reminder of a certain... what people call psycho-analyst - who
|
|
was known for seeing visions or images, which he then (reportedly) used,
|
|
or other-wise applied, to contribute to society. 'King', 'lover', and
|
|
G!D-knows-what-and-I-do-not-know. 'Archetypes' they called it. (or otherwise
|
|
named it.) 'magician' . ha-ha-ha-ha. (laughing) ^^
|
|
Oh they accused Jesus and his disciples of trickery or slights of hand or feints
|
|
or sorcery or working their portion from G!D with the help of demons or sons of demons!
|
|
O! hahahahahahaha. (laughing)
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>Thanksgiving for Return from Captivity.
|
|
|
|
A Song of Ascents.
|
|
|
|
When the LORD brought back the captive ones of Zion,
|
|
We were like those who dream.
|
|
|
|
2
|
|
Then our mouth was filled with laughter
|
|
And our tongue with joyful shouting;
|
|
Then they said among the nations,
|
|
“The LORD has done great things for them.”
|
|
|
|
3
|
|
The LORD has done great things for us;
|
|
We are glad.
|
|
|
|
4
|
|
Restore our fortunes, O LORD,
|
|
As the streams in the South. (as the streams
|
|
that You cause to gush in arid deserts)
|
|
<br/>
|
|
(as written in Scriptures. (they call it
|
|
'New American Standard Bible'; other names, too, they have
|
|
for Scriptures. Names that G!D knows, and I do not know.
|
|
Yes, G!D knows, and I do not know.))
|
|
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>(laughing, can't stop) seemingly crazy man
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>I praise You, G!D, for You have shown lovingkindness
|
|
</p>
|
|
</i>
|
|
<p>'What will you have me do?' said I to the man, knelt.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>'Go your way, Daniel,' said he. 'Peace!'
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>
|
|
<i>'Great and marvellous are your deeds, O Almighty One'. sang the song
|
|
of Moses, who is servant of G!D, and of the Lamb. Fabulosa and fabuloso
|
|
and deserving of every superlative, and miraculously wonderful and magnificently
|
|
beautiful, O, Your deeds, You who have no beings attached. (G!D haz no beings
|
|
attached.) (laughing) ha-ha-ha-ha
|
|
</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div id="san">
|
|
<p>
|
|
Dear Diary,
|
|
How are you?
|
|
May peace
|
|
[and the Life] be with you in
|
|
the name of the Lord Christ Jesus.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>from the writer:
|
|
:-) <br/>
|
|
^_&
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>
|
|
'Do not err, my beloved
|
|
brethren,' wrote the apostle
|
|
Paul, 'every good gift
|
|
and every perfect gift
|
|
is from above, coming down
|
|
from the father of lights,
|
|
[the blessed Father, who
|
|
is unseen in front of men,
|
|
and who is in Heaven]
|
|
with whom there is no
|
|
variableness or changing
|
|
or turning of shadow
|
|
[nor excessively heavy
|
|
yokes like those that
|
|
teachers of the Law, and
|
|
Pharisees, and hypocrites,
|
|
lay down even on the very
|
|
aged]'.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>The Almighty has drawn evening across the
|
|
earth, and the man ponders on himself and
|
|
his G!d. He is a strange creation, he thinks,
|
|
growing as he appears, and also aware of his on[-]going
|
|
dis[-]appearance. For which part of his body is new,
|
|
or his bones, or his flesh, that will prompt a new
|
|
'Thing' in the world? [paragraph break] And yes,
|
|
the uncertainty of his existence threatens him,
|
|
and waits in hiding to be acknowledged, on the heels
|
|
of Recognition.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>G[!]d brought people to me to[-]day, Diary, and some
|
|
of the experience was pleasant, and some not so much.
|
|
Three of my former high-school class[-]mates arrived at the
|
|
ward, and G!d reminded me later of my vulnerability
|
|
amidst serving the Christ, when [H]e brought my [']father[']
|
|
to the ward (he is not a seeker of the Christ, nor is he seeking
|
|
Christ, as far as I can tell.)
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>Do you speak Mandarin Chinese, or can you read it, at least?
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><i>from the writer: Translating... :-) For the love of G!D,
|
|
and to the Most Merciful and Compassionate One be praise and
|
|
the glory.
|
|
</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>Although I do not count myself as having achieved perfection,
|
|
as if I were a mountain or statue that has been molded and
|
|
made perfect - oh, I do not count myself as such - and do not
|
|
have all the powers that G!D has to work great deeds that shelter
|
|
and transport Man, and nourish you and me, and do not know
|
|
all the rigid instructions, of the world, that lays a yoke
|
|
on-to one such that one turns to the direction where the sun
|
|
sets, or plucks hair out from the nostrils of one - oh,
|
|
I feel a load that is yoked upon me, instead, in
|
|
the plentiful harvest of the fields that G!D has given me to
|
|
tend, as if I ought to forge a bow or axe for myself out-side of
|
|
the houses of happy people who put the proverbial cart before the horse,
|
|
among these blurring definitions (of myself)
|
|
that G!D has caused in a baptism of fire to a disobedient
|
|
one such as myself, who seems doomed to be as clouds
|
|
of dust and ash - what with the sword, that He has plunged into
|
|
my soul, that is tormenting me greatly - I speak, in an effort
|
|
to make my humanity heard, the following: if G!D has given me
|
|
this worldly life as a comfort - a form of mercy
|
|
from the Most Merciful and Compassionate One, or a brief respite -
|
|
then what they have done to me falls short of what lets
|
|
the light of the Most Merciful One - who created us, and is working
|
|
great and mighty wonders in His immeasurable splendour and
|
|
ways that are above my own - shine;
|
|
they do not glorify their Maker, who is maker of all. I see
|
|
room for the Lamb to do the will of the one who sent the Lamb. I see
|
|
room for work that reconciles the below to the above. I see
|
|
a gap to be filled. And how great the cry must be
|
|
to He-who-provides, from where they are! Oh, to imagine
|
|
the saltiness that remains on their hearts after their tears
|
|
have dried! To borrow an expression
|
|
from the one and only Teacher,
|
|
if this happens in the green, what more in the dry!
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><i>Mysterious marks that look like armies or soldiers
|
|
</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>Where G!D has sent me to is where wild people
|
|
have the comfort of their shelters and women, and yet
|
|
bake bread that leaves people half-hungry after they eat it.
|
|
Not a joyous effort at all, are all these plucking of nostril-hairs,
|
|
and turning to the direction where the sun sets. To the extent
|
|
that they have turned the commandments of G!D to suit the desires
|
|
of their hearts, they are all alike, regardless of their
|
|
positions in society, gender identity, sexual identity, and
|
|
the number of years that they have lived (or the number
|
|
of wrinkles
|
|
on their fore-head). And these are people who are made
|
|
in the likeness of their Maker! How outrageous! I am
|
|
greatly anxious and distressed for these people whom
|
|
G!D offers His covenant to. My lowly heart is beset with
|
|
with unexpressed emotions, as if my heart were in a sealed
|
|
jar that is becoming a little too cramped, or as if the heat
|
|
of summer had been poured into a drink that leaves me burning
|
|
upon consumption. Oh, to whom shall I turn the ancient
|
|
trees and mountains of my soul towards: G!D who clothes me,
|
|
or those whom G!D has destroyed since long ago in plagues
|
|
and floods and earthquakes that only those who are like Noah
|
|
can be spared from? Who am I to model myself after? Or who
|
|
am I to speak up for? Or rest my weary soul against? O! How
|
|
I have spent nights sitting, by my lonesome, under the shifts
|
|
and changes of the moon, wishing to be with You, enjoying
|
|
the lush abundance of what G!D provides in his covenant with
|
|
an oppressed, persecuted and doomed one such as myself!
|
|
O, Jehovah!
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>oh, in the heat of the day, I have felt humiliation.
|
|
我受到委屈了，日记。想像在十字架（或者，树）上，
|
|
耶稣叫喊：【阿爸，父亲！为什么你放弃了我？】我认为
|
|
生活是值得的，感到幸福，是他的牺牲，让我有
|
|
改变和希望。他的名字，耶稣。</p>
|
|
<p>晚安
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><i>marks that I cannot understand now,
|
|
but will come to understand afterward, if
|
|
G!D is willing. :-)
|
|
</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>阿们
|
|
</p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div id="quattro">
|
|
<p>Dear Diary,
|
|
Strangled and a-ware /
|
|
I comb fingers in-to ash /
|
|
as I dis-ap-pear
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
They fold the-ir hands /
|
|
As they sit a-cross from me /
|
|
How do I praise G!d
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
They came on a day /
|
|
When it was cold and wind-less /
|
|
They came suddenly
|
|
<br/>
|
|
<br/>
|
|
Tiles and small stock-piles /
|
|
Bring on a cas-cade of fear /
|
|
and the stop in me
|
|
<br/>
|
|
<br/>
|
|
They pushed some bis-cuit /
|
|
and mix-ture to me at tea /
|
|
They shan't break my fast!
|
|
<br/>
|
|
<br/>
|
|
On a ce-real crack /
|
|
The rai-sin traced me as best /
|
|
as a dry <strike>hump</strike>lump
|
|
can
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
The wild crane stands fast /
|
|
A-mong te rol-ling grass field /
|
|
As he jour-neys past
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
They are in a war /
|
|
They are wield-ing seen weapons /
|
|
But we, un-seen, win
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
They are in a war /
|
|
They are seen wielding weapons /
|
|
But we win, unseen
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
To make a dam burst /
|
|
It is im-por-tant to risk /
|
|
Flood-ing the ri-ver
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
How many swallows /
|
|
Follow the si-lence as well /
|
|
As a stag-nant pond?
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
How many swallows follow the
|
|
selection of an old
|
|
stagnant
|
|
pond?
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
Day comes and night goes /
|
|
Silk-i-ly e-nough on wings /
|
|
of a red fea-ther
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
The bumblebee flies /
|
|
Listening to the sounds of snorts /
|
|
and grumbling hammers
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
<i>from the writer: Lest they
|
|
tramply on them, and then turn
|
|
and attack you, do not set
|
|
your pearls before swine.'
|
|
(hur-hur-huk) (laughing)
|
|
This is from Scriptures.
|
|
</i>
|
|
The bumblebee flies /
|
|
But tastes its own honey in /
|
|
no such haste as Man
|
|
<br/>
|
|
<br/>
|
|
On the equator
|
|
/ of a rectangle that curls
|
|
/ up leaving I
|
|
<strike>you</strike>,
|
|
me
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
Isn't it curious?
|
|
In between the lines the bird /
|
|
Makes its victory
|
|
</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>
|
|
</p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
<div id="five">
|
|
|
|
<p>
|
|
Dear Diary,
|
|
How are you? May peace be with you
|
|
in the name of the Lord Christ Jesus.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>If I had a wing / I would not flap but / boldly cover me
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>
|
|
<i>from the writer: If G[!]d had a wing / would He use it
|
|
to carry / The sound of the trees
|
|
</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>
|
|
Am I so vulnerable
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
<i>from the writer: 'With gladness I boast about thorn
|
|
in flesh (that was given to me to torment me, and to keep
|
|
me from being proud - a messenger of the one who calls himself
|
|
the Angel of Light), delight in weaknesses, and gladly boast
|
|
about troubles, persecutions, oppression from people unknown
|
|
and known to me, hardships, emotional turns and swoops and
|
|
flights, tribulations, for the sake of the One with the Name
|
|
(Christ).' (from Scriptures)
|
|
</i>
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
Am I so vulnerable that a[n] offer of a mixture is
|
|
deceiving
|
|
and
|
|
tempting? Are you?
|
|
They have familiarity with toxins. It's so embittering,
|
|
disappointing and upsetting! Oh!
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>from the writer: 'Remorseful, huh. Regrets? Or not? For the sake
|
|
of the Christ, huh. The Anointed One who calls himself the
|
|
son of Man. "Three times I asked the Lord to remove it
|
|
from me. What? The thing causing (me) pain. The thorn in flesh.
|
|
He said: My grace is sufficient for you. Good enough. Enough for
|
|
you, my grace is. My power is greatest in weakness.
|
|
(as has been recorded in Scriptures)
|
|
"'</p>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>On the day of the Sabbath, Shaddai settles into his [or His]
|
|
resting place after his work of the Creation.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>The awesome G!d is with you, Diary, and He will
|
|
<strike>peso</strike> personally go ahead of you before them.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>
|
|
Oh, such mercy, as Pope Francis said: so much mercy, especially
|
|
for confessors!
|
|
<p>G!d sent four former high school
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><i>from the writer: (laughing) hur-hur-hur-hur. Four... form.. er...
|
|
form-er... four.. form... four... for... It's too funny! :-D ^.^ (still
|
|
laughing) ha- G!D is better comedian than I am :-D Thanks, Daddy :-) ^.^
|
|
>.<
|
|
</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>
|
|
G!d sent four former high school friends to me in the evening.
|
|
When I looked on the gifts which one brought to me, I saw the
|
|
words: 'When you only see one set of footprints in
|
|
the sand, it is because I was carrying you.' That was awesome!
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>
|
|
Scripture says that you ought to
|
|
say, 'If this is G!d's will, we will
|
|
live and also do this or that,' instead
|
|
of boasting that tomorrow you will
|
|
go to this or that city, live there for
|
|
a few years and make a profit. This is a
|
|
reminder from G!d to me about my limits
|
|
and capabilities.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>You are <strike>like</strike> an open
|
|
book, Diary, and I trust G!d will involve
|
|
you in his [or His]
|
|
plan as he [or He] sees fit.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>
|
|
I received many blessings from the Father
|
|
today. I am especially grateful as I had prayed
|
|
to die, earlier.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>G!d is telling me that there is more
|
|
to me that he sees, other than what I see[,] and what they see.
|
|
The word of G!d is a lamp unto thy path[,] and a
|
|
light unto thy feet.
|
|
<strike>(Psalms</strike>
|
|
The context is the words I saw earlier in a [']Christian[']
|
|
publication, on the trees and tents that G!d sees in a group
|
|
of wanderers and ex-slaves.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>
|
|
They call for bed-time / <br/>
|
|
On a summer night in trop-ics / <br/>
|
|
What a silent moon!
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><i>
|
|
From the writer: they call for bed-time / on a Sabbath that Lord rules /
|
|
how patient Lord is!
|
|
</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
</body>
|
|
</html>
|