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posts/0006_bookmarks.md

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+pubdate: Thu Mar 31 04:37:31 UTC 2023
+title: book marks
+slug: bookmarks
+
+I got a new computer. It's a thinkpad (x1 carbon gen10) and came with Ubuntu preinstalled. I often say this about new computers, but I really like it. I tend to get to a point when I'm mad at the new computer and then all feels lost until the next one. This one feels different; it feels like home. This is a blog post about bookmarks but first: a tour through computing disappointments from the thinkpad I had in 2010 to today:
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+- the thinkpad in 2010 did not let me down. I loved it. I lost it in a very bad breakup.
+- job gave me a macbook. it was heavy and hot. I put ubuntu on it and it barely worked. I hated it.
+- next job gave me a dell xps 13 with ubuntu. it was hot and sharp. the hard drive eventually died.
+- I actually have no idea what the next job gave me. I just don't remember at all. that's weird. probably a mac book pro.
+- next job gave me a thinkpad x1 carbon gen5. I put linux on it. I liked it mostly but it had very quiet speakers and a dim screen. Also hot.
+- job forced a switch to mac. mac book pro 2018. I hated the touchbar. heavy and hot. really bad keyboard.
+- microsoft surface go. this thing was adorable. Basically a netbook. Awkward on my lap, though, and ran real slow.
+- microsoft suface book. the worst designed laptop I have ever used. screen cracked in my bag and it cut my thumb a few times.
+- microsoft surface pro x. Also awkward on my lap and blue screened once a day. laughably unusable.
+- system76 lemur pro. I had such high hopes. terrible keyboard, bad speakers, bad touchpad, and serious hardware issue around battery consumption. gave it away.
+- job gave me an m1 mbp. I came pretty close to liking this laptop. ultimately it was macos that made it unpleasant for me. also, i did not love the keyboard.
+
+This new bud has a _beautiful_ screen. decent speakers. A luxurious keyboard and touchpad. Big SSD. even the fingerprint reader works in Ubuntu. Since its first boot this laptop has felt like home.
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+Something about this home feeling has made me feel comfortable. Like I'm sinking into a cozy chair and taking stock of a warm, safe, familiar cottage. I set up Firefox and synced my stuff and felt like arranging my big pile of unsorted bookmarks from the past decade-ish.
+
+here's some that felt notable. maybe i'll add more later.
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+(LINK https://www.increpare.com/ increpare.com) a large collection of interesting little games, many of which are playable in the browser. I do not know how or when I came across this.
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+(LINK https://frandallfarmer.github.io/neohabitat-doc/docs// neo habitat) a remake of the original graphical multiplayer game.
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+(LINK https://web.archive.org/web/20221218232044/https://mud.co.uk/richard/DesigningVirtualWorlds.pdf A PDF of Richard Bartle's Designing Virtual Worlds book) Unfortunately his site has gone down but the Wayback machine has a backup.
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+(LINK https://alba-valb.org/ lincoln brigade database) database of americans that volunteered in the (LINK https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish_Civil_War spanish civil war)
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+(LINK https://twitter.com/dasharez0ne/status/979810839749210112/ this da share zone tweet my wife and i reference constantly)
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+(LINK https://us.v-cdn.net/6030815/uploads/983/406D7PPRTDZG.gif this gif)
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+(LINK https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0155636/ imdb entry for Colony Mutation) Came across this fascinating, kind of cronenberg-without-budget movie recorded onto a blank VHS tape in a thrift store.
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+(LINK https://patents.google.com/patent/US1214863A/en the patent for disco balls)
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+(LINK https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leopold_von_Sacher-Masoch the wikipedia article for Leopold von Sacher-Masoch). Masochism is named for him. Though he didn't want that.
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+(LINK http://www.oocities.org/capitolhill/2333/rookie.html drama in alphaworld)
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+(LINK https://imgur.com/a/SkZQ4 a gallery of cyberpunk/hacker zines) some really cool stuff i haven't seen elsewhere.

posts/0007_smudge.md

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+pubdate: Thu Apr 13 05:06:39 UTC 2023
+title: smudge
+slug: smudge
+
+I made a new piece of (LINK https://github.com/vilmibm/smudge software) . It's a command line piece of art. 
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+(IMG https://raw.githubusercontent.com/vilmibm/smudge/trunk/smudge.gif a recording of a terminal running the smudge program. a grid of characters in grey turns orange from the top town, eventually dissipating into smoke)
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+The software accepts any number of filenames as arguments. each file is then interleaved, character by character, into a grid. the grid of characters is then ignited and the fire spreads downward. characters eventually become smoke particles that float upward and wisp away into nothing.
+
+I made this program because I wanted something I could run ritualistically. Initially, it was to run on a computer as a way to make it feel like a home. I've been using it, however, as a meditation aid. Before commiting to a potentially stressful task, I get a related text file and then watch it burn away. It's comforting and gives me some space and time to breathe.
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+Ritual is important. It can help nudge the brain into certain states. It can provide structure to a day or event which in turn can help focus a mind in turmoil. It provides an intentional space for reflection. I don't get much out of rituals involving physical objects, however. I think living in America my whole life has made me consider many physical goods as a form of (LINK https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=kipple kipple) . This was less true growing up when I lived in a forest since I could wander out and find a weird stick or rock or curious leaf covered in gall; but since then, even if I go out and obtain something from the natural world to use ritualistically, I am distracted by how shallow and capitalist it feels. It's also frowned on to be seen burning things in an urban environment.
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+the smudge program is a way to address this for me. Text files feel like special objects. They occur organically and have a shape to them that is incidental, like something from a forest floor. And digital conflagration can't burn down my house. I have found this program to be highly satisfying for its intended end.
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+It is written in Go. I have been slowly adding to a tiny "framework" for doing this kind of programming in Go on the command line based on a library I really like called (LINK https://github.com/gdamore/tcell tcell) . If you are interested in that code, you can see it (LINK https://github.com/vilmibm/smudge/blob/trunk/game/game.go on github). I might split it out into its own library. Let me know if that seems useful.
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+If you want to download and use smudge, you can get a binary from (LINK https://github.com/vilmibm/smudge/releases/tag/v1.0.0 its release page) for your OS.