diff --git a/server/db/db.go b/server/db/db.go
index b72c953..b5f9656 100644
--- a/server/db/db.go
+++ b/server/db/db.go
@@ -176,6 +176,9 @@ func (db *pgDB) Ensure() error {
 		oakDoor = &Object{
 			Data: data,
 			Script: `
+				provides("get tetanus", function(args)
+					tellSender("you now have tetanus")
+				end)
 				goes(north, "pub")
 			`,
 		}
diff --git a/server/witch/header.go b/server/witch/header.go
index c80048c..80b9ffa 100644
--- a/server/witch/header.go
+++ b/server/witch/header.go
@@ -9,6 +9,7 @@ TODO: consider making this (or witch.go) a different package entirely. the `witc
 */
 
 import (
+	"log"
 	"strings"
 
 	lua "github.com/yuin/gopher-lua"
@@ -23,36 +24,47 @@ func witchProvides(l *lua.LState) int {
 	// TODO test this manually
 
 	verbAndPattern := l.ToString(1)
-	l.Pop(1)
+	cb := l.ToFunction(2)
 
 	split := strings.SplitN(verbAndPattern, " ", 2)
 	verb := split[0]
 	pattern := split[1]
 
-	l.Push(lua.LString(pattern))
-
-	return addPatternHandler(l, verb)
+	return addPatternHandler(l, verb, pattern, cb)
 }
 
 func witchHears(l *lua.LState) int {
-	return addPatternHandler(l, "say")
+	pattern := l.ToString(1)
+	cb := l.ToFunction(2)
+	return addPatternHandler(l, "say", pattern, cb)
 }
 
 func witchSees(l *lua.LState) int {
-	return addPatternHandler(l, "emote")
+	pattern := l.ToString(1)
+	cb := l.ToFunction(2)
+
+	return addPatternHandler(l, "emote", pattern, cb)
 }
 
 func witchGoes(l *lua.LState) int {
-	// arg 0: direction
-	// arg 1: from room
-	// arg 2: to room
-	// TODO call addPatternHandler with "go" verb and direction pattern; figure out how to call moveSender etc
-	// TODO call addPatternHandler again for the reverse direction
-	return -1
+	// TODO validate direction
+	// TODO convert direction constant to english
+
+	direction := l.ToString(1)
+	targetRoom := l.ToString(2)
+
+	cb := func(l *lua.LState) int {
+		log.Printf("please move sender to target room '%s'", targetRoom)
+		return 0
+	}
+
+	// TODO call addPatternHandler again for the reverse direction (make a reverse helper)
+	return addPatternHandler(l, "go", direction, l.NewFunction(cb))
 }
 
 func witchSeen(l *lua.LState) int {
-	return addHandler(l, "look")
+	cb := l.ToFunction(1)
+	return addHandler(l, "look", cb)
 }
 
 func witchMy(l *lua.LState) int {
@@ -69,11 +81,10 @@ func witchDoes(ls *lua.LState) int {
 	return 0
 }
 
-func addHandler(l *lua.LState, verb string) int {
+func addHandler(l *lua.LState, verb string, cb *lua.LFunction) int {
 	pattern := ".*"
-	cb := l.ToFunction(1)
 
-	//log.Printf("adding handler: %s %s %#v", verb, pattern, cb)
+	log.Printf("adding handler: %s %s %#v", verb, pattern, cb)
 
 	handlers := l.GetGlobal("_handlers").(*lua.LTable)
 
@@ -88,11 +99,8 @@ func addHandler(l *lua.LState, verb string) int {
 	return 0
 }
 
-func addPatternHandler(l *lua.LState, verb string) int {
-	pattern := l.ToString(1)
-	cb := l.ToFunction(2)
-
-	//log.Printf("adding handler: %s %s %#v", verb, string(pattern), cb)
+func addPatternHandler(l *lua.LState, verb, pattern string, cb *lua.LFunction) int {
+	log.Printf("adding handler: %s %s %#v", verb, string(pattern), cb)
 
 	handlers := l.GetGlobal("_handlers").(*lua.LTable)
 
diff --git a/server/witch/witch.go b/server/witch/witch.go
index 847a793..860517b 100644
--- a/server/witch/witch.go
+++ b/server/witch/witch.go
@@ -16,6 +16,15 @@ import (
 	lua "github.com/yuin/gopher-lua"
 )
 
+const (
+	dirEast  = "_DIR_EAST"
+	dirWest  = "_DIR_WEST"
+	dirNorth = "_DIR_NORTH"
+	dirSouth = "_DIR_SOUTH"
+	dirAbove = "_DIR_ABOVE"
+	dirBelow = "_DIR_BELOW"
+)
+
 /*
 allows({
   read = "world",
@@ -135,14 +144,14 @@ func NewScriptContext(db db.DB, getSend func(string) func(*proto.ClientMessage)
 				l = lua.NewState()
 
 				// direction constants
-				l.SetGlobal("east", lua.LString("_DIR_EAST"))
-				l.SetGlobal("west", lua.LString("_DIR_WEST"))
-				l.SetGlobal("north", lua.LString("_DIR_NORTH"))
-				l.SetGlobal("south", lua.LString("_DIR_SOUTH"))
-				l.SetGlobal("above", lua.LString("_DIR_ABOVE"))
-				l.SetGlobal("below", lua.LString("_DIR_BELOW"))
-				l.SetGlobal("up", lua.LString("_DIR_ABOVE"))
-				l.SetGlobal("down", lua.LString("_DIR_BELOW"))
+				l.SetGlobal("east", lua.LString(dirEast))
+				l.SetGlobal("west", lua.LString(dirWest))
+				l.SetGlobal("north", lua.LString(dirNorth))
+				l.SetGlobal("south", lua.LString(dirSouth))
+				l.SetGlobal("above", lua.LString(dirAbove))
+				l.SetGlobal("below", lua.LString(dirBelow))
+				l.SetGlobal("up", lua.LString(dirAbove))
+				l.SetGlobal("down", lua.LString(dirBelow))
 
 				// witch object behavior functions
 				l.SetGlobal("has", l.NewFunction(witchHas))
@@ -227,11 +236,13 @@ func NewScriptContext(db db.DB, getSend func(string) func(*proto.ClientMessage)
 
 			handlers := l.GetGlobal("_handlers").(*lua.LTable)
 			handlers.ForEach(func(k, v lua.LValue) {
+				log.Println("checking handler verbs", k)
 				if k.String() != vc.Verb {
 					return
 				}
 				v.(*lua.LTable).ForEach(func(kk, vv lua.LValue) {
 					pattern := regexp.MustCompile(kk.String())
+					log.Println("checking handler", kk.String(), vv, pattern)
 					if pattern.MatchString(vc.Rest) {
 						// TODO TODO TODO TODO TODO
 						// this could be a remote code execution vuln; but by being here, I