<li>This happened between the years 2016 A.D. to 2018 A.D. In Indonesia, I was feeling thirsty. I was on a mini-bus then, and if I had brought water with me, I had run out of it. Looking around, ,
I saw a water-bottle in a dustbin (or trash-can) that was inside the bus. Long story short, I drank it. And I thank my god that he gives
me what is needful for me. As it is written, the Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want. (Psalm 23)
In my mid-twenties, I felt a desire to know God and experience His love for myself. (Others have written about this yearning more eloquently than myself; I trust I am not alone.)
I wanted to sell a laptop Papa had given me. On my way to send it to a computer-shop, I realised I had left it at a cafe where I had been dining. I decided that was one way to give away my laptop as well, and let the laptop go wherever it had gone, instead of claiming it back from the cafe.
My friends accused me of being idle and imposed their world-view of a conventional, worldly job upon me. After they read a verse from the Bible about how "whoever does not work is worse than an unbeliever", I decided to work among these friends. I had a little over SGD$450 in my savings then, so I withdrew it in denominations of $50, and gave one $50 bill to each of the nine "friends" who had imposed themselves on me. "God gave me this money, take it. I am working now, like how the apostles gave away the fish and the loaves."
On a morning shortly after that, Papa and Mummy engaged some men to send me to Institute of Mental Health (in Singapore), where I stayed under lock and key for three months.
Mummy had damaged me with emotional and physical violence in childhood. (For example, she threatened to commit suicide unless my siblings and I behaved as she wanted). I chose to forgive her: a few months ago, I invited her to have a dessert with me, and I shared with her some photographs I had taken. (She liked two of those photographs, in particular).
As the world turned to the Internet amidst the pandemic, I reached out to strangers. Sometimes my message was as simple as "How are you doing today?" Some have told me they find my messages helpful. And I enjoyed discovering brothers and sisters in the Christian family, through web-sites such as LinkedIn.
This account of my pursuit of God is me bearing fruit as well. May it encourage people in this world to reconcile themselves to God, their maker - if they are willing to pay the cost of following the Christ.
That was about seven years ago. I was twenty-four years old.
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We read in the Bible, "the kingdom of God is about self-control". I say Amen to that. Now I can have respectful friendships with women I meet on the Internet and "in real life". Thanks be to God. I find these friendships more rewarding and satisfying than a reluctant kiss from a stranger at a bar.
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<p>
Does that mean I don't feel temptation? Yes, I do. On the MRT, I see women wearing figure-hugging clothes. My flesh tells me to squeeze their butt, even without their permission. But do I act on the desires of my flesh? No. I walk by the Spirit, instead of the flesh. I thank God that I am not one of those young men who appear in the news for stealing ladies' underwear, or touching women without permission.
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<p>
It is written in the Bible, "it is no longer I who live, but the Christ in me."
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<p>
And, "I have crucified the flesh with its desires."
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God calls me to a higher life. It is my duty and honour to obey that call.
