388 lines
20 KiB
HTML
388 lines
20 KiB
HTML
<html>
|
|
<body>
|
|
<p>
|
|
So that my Father who is unseen before those of the world - my only Father - may be glorified. The
|
|
Merciful - Most Merciful - and Compassionate One, the Accepting of repentance.
|
|
<br/>
|
|
And so that the commandments may be obeyed by a lowly heart and poor spirit such as myself:
|
|
<ul>
|
|
<li>Love G!D with all your heart, soul, spirit, body, mind and psychic power and unknown powers
|
|
and any other powers you may have, and all your eyes - seen and unseen. This is the foundation of
|
|
the Law and the prophets - the first and most important and greatest commandment.
|
|
</li>
|
|
<li>
|
|
Love thy neighbour as yourself. This, the second commandment, is like it (the first commandment). :-)
|
|
</li>
|
|
<li>
|
|
To the disciples of the Anointed One, who calls himself the Son of Man: 'this is a new commandment I give to you.
|
|
Love one another as I have loved you. By this, the world will know that you are my disciples, when you love
|
|
one another as I have loved you. (the 'I am', who have spake unto you, who argued among yourselves about who the greatest
|
|
among you is, and have saith that the greatest among you will serve you).'
|
|
</li>
|
|
</ul>
|
|
<br/>
|
|
And especially to my enemies who hath tormented me, (Man's ways all seem innocent to Him, but the LORD weighs each motive)
|
|
so that they may have the comfort of knowing they are not alone in their emotional upheavals, if G!D accepts their repentance
|
|
and reconciliation to G!D - for G!D knows and I do not know who or where or how or what G!D chooses to <strike>pour</strike>
|
|
breathe
|
|
His Spirit into. <br/>
|
|
And as an advance: worship me not - do not worship me. I am a servant of G!D, just like you. Worship G!D. I am nothing without
|
|
the Anointed One, Jesus, who calls himself the Son of Man, as the branch is nothing without the vine - or, as the leaf is nothing
|
|
without the tree.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>
|
|
Entries:
|
|
<ul>
|
|
<li>it is the seventeenth day of the third month of the 105th year since a nation was publicly recognised</li>
|
|
<li>t is the fifteenth day of the second month of the 105th year since a worldly nation
|
|
was publicly recognised.</li>
|
|
</ul>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>
|
|
it is the seventeenth day of the third month of the 105th year since a nation was publicly recognised<br/>
|
|
|
|
It's the twenty-third day of my challenge to eat vegetarian for forty days.
|
|
<br />
|
|
I went to a gathering where people talked about Christianity. At the end, I wondered, aloud, what kind of person
|
|
G!D is. I said in the group discussion that I can't open my heart easily to Him, and told those people in the small group
|
|
that I am of the kind who are more suspicious. Afterwards, a <strike>woman</strike> person in the group came up to me
|
|
and said that she sensed yearning and a lot of resistance in me. She also showed me a quote by Joseph Campbell, which
|
|
went: 'the greatest treasures are in the caves that you fear most to tread'. She asked me how I was feeling. I told her
|
|
I felt thankful for the opportunity for discussion. I don't think that covered the depth of my feelings.
|
|
|
|
I am angry. I feel anger towards G!D. Where was He when I was hurt, upset or forced to do things [under oppression]?
|
|
How can the people at the discussion talk about G!D's plan for me, when He feels distant?
|
|
|
|
I feel naked. I feel like the outcast of the group in a reality show [on television], unable and unwilling to join the
|
|
group in their comfort, solidarity, trust and security in the group. I feel left out. I feel lonely. Most of all, I
|
|
feel afraid. I feel afraid to trust again in someone, something or G!D himself. I feel very vulnerable.
|
|
|
|
I went to a <strike>psychiatric</strike> mental-health institution to seek help, attention and resolution. I expected
|
|
liberty, but I experienced coercion and oppression [even when I was finite in resources and energy, that is,
|
|
more precisely, needy, as in one of the needy or poor]. I learnt that I could not leave the ward at Acme Institute,
|
|
even if I wanted. [the name of the institute is masked, or anonymised - Jesus said: 'Be merciful, as your Master, who bought you for a price,
|
|
is merciful]. I learnt that the doctor, people who spent time with me previously (who said, "I am your father" and
|
|
"I am your mother"), and the social worker decided where and when I would stay and/or leave the ward [in the sense that
|
|
their approval, or authorisation, or their company, was required, for those to happen, as I had observed]. I was
|
|
pressured into taking <strike>medication</strike> by nurses, despite my
|
|
wishes to not consume them;
|
|
I was threatened with an indefinite incarceration in the hospital.
|
|
although i wanted to leave, I could not. how can people
|
|
say G!D has s plan for me when G!D feels so
|
|
far away as I went through that?
|
|
|
|
<i>from the writer: as the Quran says, even the prophets
|
|
and the fellow who were with them, cried out,
|
|
'our Lord 1 where are you / verily, verily, the mercy of g1d is near 1'
|
|
</i>
|
|
|
|
Can somebody tell me that was G1D's plan for <strike>me
|
|
</strike>
|
|
sure?
|
|
|
|
the remark that gave me the greatest emotional impact
|
|
was that G!D loved me unconditionally.
|
|
|
|
<strike>
|
|
It felt like a hand
|
|
</strike>
|
|
<i>from the writer: 'wipe the tears from your eyes. be dismayed
|
|
no more. For I, the LORD G!D, have struck
|
|
you in anger, for your sins were flagrant,
|
|
but you- you- I will have compassion
|
|
on you. You belong to Me, O Israel,
|
|
though I have scattered you into
|
|
distant lands and nations, and you
|
|
were stricken. You belong to Me,
|
|
and you will be with Me for-ever. <br/><br/>
|
|
Praise be to G!D. I praise You,
|
|
for You have shown lovingkindness,
|
|
even to a poor spirit, a lowly heart,
|
|
a wretch like myself.
|
|
<br/>
|
|
Burst into song, mountains! <br/>
|
|
Tap-dance, trees! <br/>
|
|
Glow and flare, o stars! <br/>
|
|
For the LORD G!D hath redeemed for Himself
|
|
a daughter, a son, a nation, a city!' <br/><br/>
|
|
|
|
(what? would you rather G!D take angels for
|
|
daughters, and cherubims for sons?)<br/><br/>
|
|
|
|
Praise be to G!D (thank you, Daddy)
|
|
<br/>
|
|
|
|
Wipe your tears from your eyes.
|
|
Do not be dismayed. <br/>
|
|
|
|
Gardens of bliss, under which rivers
|
|
flow, spouses delighting in each other,
|
|
the objective of life, the felicity most high,
|
|
absolute beauty, supreme over all other felicity,
|
|
for the good pleasure of G!D, the Cherisher
|
|
and Sustainer of the Worlds. <br/>
|
|
|
|
Thou art my shepherd;
|
|
I shall not want. <br/>
|
|
|
|
I know no other Rock.
|
|
There is none like You.
|
|
I know no other Stone.
|
|
I know no other G!D. <br/>
|
|
|
|
Blessed is He who hath given rest to His
|
|
people. May all nations come to know
|
|
that our Lord is G!D, and that there
|
|
is no other G!D other than He, and that
|
|
G!D is our G!D. To G!D be to the glory
|
|
for-ever and ever. Amen. (so it is). <br/>
|
|
</i>
|
|
|
|
<strike>It felt like a hand, gently being placed against my
|
|
heart.</strike>
|
|
|
|
It felt like a piece of cloth being thrown against
|
|
my face. 'You don't have to earn that love,' that person
|
|
said. What if that was true? How can I trust G!D
|
|
not to hurt me? How can I trust G!D to not leave
|
|
me on my own? How can someone say, 'If you believe in
|
|
G!D, you will go through suffering' so matter-of-factly?
|
|
I don't want.
|
|
|
|
Why does G!D make me suffer? If He is there, why does
|
|
G!D allow people to suffer? Very briefly, I also
|
|
wonder how we can end suffering, G!D or not.
|
|
|
|
G!D. what will You do with me if I open my heart
|
|
to you?
|
|
|
|
Who gave me food, shelter and clothes when I was
|
|
looking for them?
|
|
|
|
<i>
|
|
from the writer: 'I, the LORD G!D, have forgotten
|
|
your sins, and remember them no more.
|
|
as I said in the days of Noah after
|
|
the flood, I will not again cause
|
|
another world-destroying flood.' <br/>
|
|
"I promise
|
|
I will never stop doing good to her, and remind
|
|
her to fear me, and keep my commandment," saith
|
|
G!D, the Lord of lords, and King of kings.
|
|
<br/>
|
|
(O LORD, our Father, you are the potter, we
|
|
are the clay; we are all the work of Your hands)
|
|
<br/>
|
|
I will never tire of praising G!D<br/>
|
|
I praise You, oh LORD, for I am fearfully
|
|
and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful;
|
|
that I know full well.
|
|
</i> <br/>
|
|
<br/>
|
|
[Who gave me food, shelter and clothes when I was
|
|
looking for them?]
|
|
I needed those. Is it G!D? Is G!D there?
|
|
What does G!D do to people? I felt resentful towards G!D;
|
|
I'm not sure if I still do.
|
|
|
|
<i>from the writer: the end of a thing is as powerful
|
|
as its beginning. and the patient in spirit is superior
|
|
to the proud in spirit. (as written in Scripture)
|
|
<br/> I love you, G!D.<br/>
|
|
G!D hath no begotten son,
|
|
and has no beings attached. (as written in Scripture
|
|
that some call "Quran")
|
|
I
|
|
</i>
|
|
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>
|
|
tis to glorify the Compassionate and Most Merciful One, who is Sovereign over the Here-after,
|
|
Lord of lords, King of kings, Creator of creators, redeemer of worms, husband to prostitutes with
|
|
poor spirit and lowly heart, the Accepting of the repentance of wicked, ungrateful thieves
|
|
and theivesses, the Most
|
|
Accepting of repentance.<br/>
|
|
Inspiration is verse in the Bible: 'Just as Jonah spent three days and nights in belly of fish,
|
|
so, too, will the Son of Man spend three days in <strike>belly</strike> of earth'. <br />
|
|
With G!D's help, if G!D is willing, one will help the other through a trial <strike>
|
|
|
|
from</strike>
|
|
that
|
|
G!D
|
|
causes. To trade stories, if you will. 'For I am strong when I am weak', as written in Scripture,
|
|
'even though I am nothing at all [without the Anointed One,
|
|
through whom I can do all things], and
|
|
so, am made to be like a fool by you -
|
|
you have made me to be like a fool - boasting
|
|
like this, even though I am nothing at all.
|
|
I do not count myself among the most
|
|
eminent apostles, or the so-called super-apostles or uber-apostles. Still, I ought
|
|
to be receiving commendations from you lot. For we of the spirit of G!D
|
|
walk in each other's shoes, along the same path, and there
|
|
is no male or female, Jew or Gentile,
|
|
outsider or insider - all are one
|
|
through the Anointed One who calls himself Son of Man, Jesus,
|
|
son of Mary, who conceived with the help of G!D when no man has
|
|
laid a hand or rod on her. This is to build you up.' <br/>
|
|
|
|
As a verse in
|
|
Bible goes (yes, another Bible verse :-D ), (so grateful for Scripture), 'two is better
|
|
than one. if one falls down, the other can help the one up. if there is only one going at
|
|
it, that one has calamity upon them... him... her...'
|
|
<br />
|
|
It is the fifteenth day of the second month of the 105th year since a worldly nation
|
|
was publicly recognised. ('For everything of the world passes away, and is passing
|
|
away,' as Scripture has on record.)
|
|
|
|
<br/>
|
|
<br/>
|
|
I'm frustrated at my Heavenly Father's presence,
|
|
whenever I think about a mother-figure. It seems that He will not
|
|
cease or stop whatever He is doing to remind me of Him when I think
|
|
about creating a mother-figure that I have lost. <br/><br/>
|
|
I feel grief at such a time - why? G!D, what is the message
|
|
behind these feelings of loss and anxiety? <br/><br/>
|
|
I recall the octopus that I coloured rainbow, when
|
|
I was in kindergarten [before the age of seven, as the layman
|
|
knows it]. I felt hurt and unhappy that I had to colour it another
|
|
colour for [the] grades. I feel frustrated and boxed in.
|
|
I feel [like] that [feeling of] a square peg in a round
|
|
hole. I feel furious!
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
Like Father G!D [who is in Heaven and unseen and has no beings attached],
|
|
I created. That was an octopus
|
|
that could only be found in the rainbow
|
|
that formed from the dew-drops in a magical forest.
|
|
It was an octopus that you had to call into existence,
|
|
and to transfer to a water body large enough to contain
|
|
it. It was killed by the teacher, who was an alien in
|
|
disguise[,] and disliked magical beings.
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
No matter how much I create, I won't be able to create a
|
|
mother-figure <br/><br/>
|
|
<i>from the writer: As written in Scripture, 'a wise son brings
|
|
joy to his Father; a foolish son brings grief to his mother.'</i>
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
Oh G!D, I am grieving. No matter how much magic I do, I won't be
|
|
able to get the same mother-figure, nor the memories of the times
|
|
with her. I lost someone who could have made great memories with me
|
|
as her son. She won't get any more memories with me.
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
<i>
|
|
from the writer: 'I despise all those who cling on to worthless idols
|
|
or carven images, or images of G!D, who has no beings attached.
|
|
All those who would speak up for worthless idols are foolish fools.'
|
|
All these can be found in Scripture, which implies you have
|
|
to take up a quest to search, if you will, and if G!D is willing.
|
|
'I have observed an abhor-able, horrible thing in Ephraim and Israel:
|
|
my people prostituting themselves to other gods!' The LORD G!D says.
|
|
|
|
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
I thank G!D who hath counted me among ministry, and enabled me to me
|
|
among the faithful.
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
I praise You, G!D, for you have shown lovingkindness. I will tell the
|
|
world about your wonderful deeds in my life, You who
|
|
grant even passage of boats across oceans and unknown waters,
|
|
and brings wealth from the sea, houses I did not build,
|
|
rocks that I did not create, life I did not call into being,
|
|
fruits I did not sow the seeds of, and even divine reconciliation
|
|
to G!D and godliness, a peace that the world does not give,
|
|
and a redemption and promise and eternity that the world cannot
|
|
give - does not give - and You are sure to keep Your promises, O
|
|
G!D of Truth and truth and Ruth and Naomi, who asked to be
|
|
named Mara, which means 'bitter', for she was embittered, even
|
|
though her name, 'Naomi', meant 'pleasant'.
|
|
</i>
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
It seems as if G!D wants me to go to Him as He creates, not stay on my side,
|
|
looking for Mother.
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
<i>from the writer: oh, how horrible - looking for Mother, so-called mother.
|
|
</i>
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
Whenever the mother-figure came into my life, she is dead now. I have hardly
|
|
any memories of her; the feeling remains in me.
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
<i>
|
|
From the writer: No longer. Rejoice in the LORD. I say again, rejoice!
|
|
You were bought with a price. Remember G!D's terrors, signs and wonders
|
|
that He hath rehearsed to you. Everybody has heard about your obedience,
|
|
and I rejoice. As the Son of Man said, 'Blessed are you who
|
|
are mourning, for you will be comforted.'
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
As Scriptures have on record: 'little ones, continue doing what
|
|
you are doing. Your Father approves.' <br/><br/>
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
On a related note, since came to Mind, people asked or told Jesus,
|
|
who was teaching in a synagogue: 'Your mother and brothers and sisters
|
|
are outside the city gates, waiting for you.' Jesus said,
|
|
'my brothers and sisters and mother are those who obey G!D,
|
|
and keep His commandments, and obey them.' This is in Scripture, too.
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
On yet another related note, a famous Zen saying goes,
|
|
'When you see the Buddha, kill him! When you see your parents, kill them!'
|
|
As fierce as that may 'sound', G!D will show you Truth and truth, if He is willing,
|
|
and if you try your best (with all you have: your time and energy and
|
|
resources) to seek Him. For as Scriptures say: 'Seek ye G!D with all your
|
|
heart, and ye shall find Me'. And as the Son of Man said
|
|
to those who said to those who cried to him - 'We want to enter
|
|
the kingdom of G!D, too! We want to enter into Paradise! How should we
|
|
do it?' - 'the road to the kingdom of G!D is a narrow one. But try your best.'
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
On yet another related note, the Buddha was asked which was more
|
|
important: wisdom or compassion (something like lovingkindness). The Buddha
|
|
answered: 'Effort. Effort is most important'.
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
'Brothers and sisters, I do not think I have made it my own. One thing I do:
|
|
forgetting what lies behind, and pushing on-ward, for the upward call of G!D
|
|
through the Anointed One, Jesus, through whom I am crucified unto the world,
|
|
and the world unto me.' This is in Scripture, too.
|
|
</i>
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
There is no one woman who is Her, or can compare to Her.
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
<i>From the writer: oh, how disgusting. Kimochi warui, a Japanese expression
|
|
or pronunciation goes. Feeling a sense of despise.
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
On a related note, 'Kimochi warui' is the last line in the ending scene
|
|
of a movie in the animated story, 'Neon Genesis Evangelion', which is
|
|
described as 'anime (or animated stories) for adults'. The ending scene
|
|
featured a cross that evokes a remembrance of the crucifixion of
|
|
a famous figure. A sacrifice, scary in nature or feel, if you watch
|
|
the scene, of the protagonist, who is somehow in a robot that
|
|
seems to be- well, G!D knows, and I do not know. For these are worldly
|
|
things, yet the series is popularly posited to be subtly
|
|
touching on themes of psychology, if you believe the rumor that goes around,
|
|
and yet Bible - Scriptures - express concern that 'I will not like
|
|
what I see in you when I come to you, and you will not like
|
|
what you see in me. What I will not like to see in you:
|
|
deceitfulness, divisions, jealousies, gossip and gossips, slander,
|
|
arrogance against godliness, and delight in wickedness.'
|
|
So, on that note, praise be to G!D, who is true, and keeps promises
|
|
that He makes - I prayed to G!D, the Blessed Father, Ruler of the Universe,
|
|
who causes boats to have integrity throughout journeys and pilgrimages
|
|
across waters, Hallowed Name, and The Almighty One, who is All-knowing,
|
|
All-hearing, All-seeing, heard me and listened. I prayed to Him
|
|
to remind me to fear Him always, 'for fear of G!D is the beginning
|
|
of wisdom, but fools despise wisdom and instruction, or Guidance', as Scriptures
|
|
have on record, and He answered my prayer.
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
On a related note, the ending of the popular anime, or animated story,
|
|
Full Metal Alchemist, featured a sacrifice of the protagonist, that is
|
|
strikingly resonant with the death and resurrection of the dead
|
|
that Scriptures have on record: 'unless it is what I have spoken: that
|
|
I have hope of the resurrection of the dead'.
|
|
<br/><br/>
|
|
Glory be to G!D in the Highest, and peace be upon those whom G!D favours.
|
|
Now, may the love of G!D, and the fellowship of those who are in the
|
|
Spirit of G!D, and the grace of the Anointed One whom we call Teacher
|
|
and Lord, who calls himself 'Son of Man', be with you all.
|
|
(and so it is).
|
|
Amen.
|
|
</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
</body>
|
|
</html>
|