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Dozens B. McCuzzins 2023-09-27 06:06:00 -06:00
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WICCAN REDE PUBLIC LICENSE
Version 1, August 2022
Copyright (C) 2023 dozens@tilde.team
Everyone is permitted to copy and distribute verbatim or modified
copies of this license document, and changing it is allowed as long
as the name is changed.
TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR COPYING, DISTRIBUTION, AND MODIFICATION
0. Harm no one
1. Do what you want

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# bloodmoongate
this is a short incomplete roleplaying game
that me and some townies played
on the internal mailing list
it is also a markdown file
and some custom css
that is fed to pandoc
to create some fancy html
it is also a groff file
that targets plain text
and pdf

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src := 'src/story.ms'
builddir := 'out'
# show all commands
default:
just --list --unsorted
# groff to text
text:
groff -Tutf8 -ms {{src}} \
| sed "s,\x1B\[[0-9;]*[a-zA-Z],,g" \
> {{builddir}}/story.txt
# groff to pdf
pdf:
groff -Tpdf -ms {{src}} \
> {{builddir}}/story.pdf
# watch for changed, build pdf
watchpdf:
ls {{src}} \
| entr -c -r just pdf
# remove build files
clean:
rm {{builddir}}/*

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TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE
dozens and the tilde.town players
dozens@tilde.team
Townies & Taverns is an unfinished experimental
freeform roleplaying game that took place in the
spring of 2023 on the internal list+town@tilde.town
mailing list.
It all started when ˜mhj asked the following question:
What are some good play by email games? It
would also be cool to do a play by email dun
geons and dragons campaign maybe? I dunno
how that would work, but yeah... —mhj
What follows is the answer to that question.
27 September 2023
TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE
DOZENS So now the kings quest
has fallen to you! The king
Defeating the demon hordes and doms second greatest and
sealing the Bloodmoon Gate was mightiest adventurers! You must
King Ardans greatest accom not fail!
plishment. Afterward, he shat
tered the Staff of the Archmage You are at The Famous
into five pieces and flung them Shrub, one of the busiest tav
to the farthest regions of the erns in Woodhome. And tonight
Silver Yonder to ensure that is your last night in town be
the foul gate would remain fore heading into the Flooded
closed forever. Lands to confront the clan of
barbarians known as the Pinky
Each of the five pieces of and recover the first artifact.
the staff were entrusted to one
of Ardans most faithful war 1. Who are you?
riors. They developed over the
years into five powerful, se 2. Why do the Woodhomians fear
cretive sects. Together, they the Pinky?
are known as the Hand.
3. What terrible creature lurks
The years that followed in the Flooded Lands?
the closing of the gate were
ones of peace and prosperity. 4. What evidence have you seen
Generations were born and grew of demonic presence?
old during Ardans reign. Such
was the feytouched kings 5. How are you spending your
lifespan elongated. The terrors last night in Woodhome?
of the Demon Plague soon faded
into legend. STUX
Now, fools and villains Oh, sounds like fun!
have meddled where they ought
not. And the Bloodmoon Gate has
started to open once again. 1. I am Stux RowHammer, nearly
Imps, gremlins, and other minor renowned worlock
demons—harbingers of the demon
horde—have been spotted causing 2. The Pinky are rumored to
mischief throughout the Yonder. have a weapon able to de
stroy entire villages. No
The king, now wizened and ones ever seen it or seen
enfeebled, has assembled his proof of it, but its so
greatest and mightiest adven scary that no ones every
turers to recover the lost questions it
pieces of the Staff of the
Archmage. For only its power 3. None have ever returned to
can save the Silver Yonder from tell what dark beasts stalk
the demon hordes. that land
Unfortunately they never 4. I spend it enjoying food and
came back. games with my family
1
TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE
Did I do that right? any of them have ever spoken a
word to me! but their company
MHJ comforts me nonetheless
1. Who are you? DOZENS
oh! oh dear, i figured When the world was young, the
wed met already, but i under bountiful earth and the hungry
stand if you didnt se—hey! sea fell in love with each
down here! please watch where other from a distance. The
you step! gnomes dont have earth would make eyes at the
very strong bones you know. my sea, and the sea would bash
name is tato, the illusion! i fully wave. They agreed to meet
enjoy card tricks, and making face to face to consummate
people disappear their love, and the waters rose
up and flooded the land. When
ME I MEAN. PAY NO HEED TO the great flood receded, the
THE RUMORS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD devastation was total. Great
cities were erased. Entire
2. Why do the Woodhomians fear civilizations were wiped out.
the Pinky? When they saw what they had
done in their carelessness,
like my good friend stux earth and sea agreed that,
mentioned, it is rumo—huh, what though their love may continue
do you mean you dont know me to burn, they must never see
either? ive followed you for each other again.
weeks now
But see each other they
no matter did. Quietly and discreetly,
their passions held in check by
the destruction of entire the fear of losing control once
villages is actually only the more.
second scariest trick this
weapon this is proof enough for The Flooded Lands are the
me, its just science! but to last place where earth and sea
be fully rigorous, i sought to mingle. Endless bogs, wet
investigate further lands, swamps, and marshes.
Neither the children of the
upon discovering the au earth nor the children of the
thor and asking where these vi sea are entirely at home here.
sions came from, the author Rather, this is home to those
replied "hell awaits you for born of the flood. Things made
breaking into my house at this of mud and clay. Slimy, scaley
hour!", which i believe refers things with and fur and gills.
to the coming demonic invasion
How are you spending your last Your goal here is to find
night in Woodhome? the Pinky, Ardans champion,
and recover the first artifact
woodhome means a lot to of the archmage.
me, so i will check in with all
of my friends! Two paths lie ahead of
you.
none of them are much the
speaking type, i do not believe
2
TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE
One is through the Swamp Big foot that wide as
of Sorrows. It is the most di arms.
rect route and will get you to
the Pinkys monastery the 5. How are you spending your
quickest. But it is also the last night in Woodhome?
most dangerous. For the swamp
is full of Dreadlights, Bog Eat drink sleep
Rot, and Oneirophants.
KRUNN
The more circuitous route
is also the safer option. It Krunn say go swamp more to
will take you around the swamp, thing to BONK.
through the Trollfen, and over
Turtle Mound. A longer journey, DOZENS
but one less fraught with dan
ger. The story thus far: you are on
a mission to reassemble the
WHAT DO YOU DO Staff of the Archmage and seal
the Bloodmoon Gate to prevent
STUX the Demon Horde from sweeping
across the Silver Yonder. The
I look at the rest of the party first piece of the staff is in
the possession of the Pinky
"What do you all think? somewhere in the Flooded Lands.
Im no ranger, I dont know
much about the wilderness. Im There is a long footbridge
not afraid to take the quick of rotten, moldy, wooden planks
route, but I also see the wis that leads out across the fetid
dom in the more cautious ap water. You follow it into the
proach". Swamp of Sorrows.
KRUNN The swamp is putrid. Al
most nauseatingly smelly. A
1. Who are you? thick carpet of orange algae
undulates with the rippling of
Me Krunn with club who go the water beneath it. Pockets
BONK! of swamp gas escape the mud far
below and belch noisily when
2. Why do the Woodhomians fear they reach the surface. Clouds
the Pinky? of insects float above the wa
ter, and nip at you as you pass
They too have club go by. Large swamp trees grow
BONK! here, with gnarled, twisted
roots. Moss and thick vines
3. What terrible creature lurks hang from the branches and
in the Flooded Lands? block your view. Between the
trees, in the distance, you can
Big thing with big bite see sulphurous yellow dread
that ouch. lights bobbing up and down,
just waiting to lure an unwit
4. What evidence have you seen ting traveler out into the wa
of demonic presence? ters.
3
TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE
Just up ahead, a large Stux what we do ? It might be
portion of the bridge has col woo woo magic. Krunn slowly
lapsed. About as far across as backs away waiting for Stux or
a wide road. You look down and the gnomes reply.
see five or eight emaciated,
milky white bodies floating STUX
suspended in the water below
you. Their eyes are closed and Hmmmm... Something strange is
their skin is pulled taught going on here. Im going to put
across their bones. Their hair on my sunglasses of true sight
spreads out like a halo around and see if anything becomes ob
their heads. These are Oneiro vious.
phants, slumbering prisoners of
the swamp. If youre lucky, GLARG
they wont bother you. If you
disturb their slumber though, Through the sunglasses you can
they may try to pull you down see the outline of a large
into the swamp to join them. bulky humanoid curled up into a
tight ball with its arm stick
WHAT DO YOU DO? ing out.
GLARG All of a sudden, with a
loud, deep crack, the leg dis
A few paces left of the en lodges itself from the ball and
trance to the collapsed bridge starts kicking the ground. Now
is what appears to be a boulder the boulder is rocking back
with an arm sticking out the andforth in place with the leg
side of it. It seems to give kicking the ground when it gets
off a very faint hum. close.
KRUNN STUX
Tell Stux and little gnome to "Hey Krunn, its BONKING TIME!
stand back. Krunn will roll Somtimes you gotta BONK first
boulder cause Krunn strong. and ask questions when they re
gain conscienceness"
GLARG
KRUNN
As you study the boulder you
notice the arm protruding from With a solemn nod to Stux,
it is made of the same burnt Krunn raises his club over his
umber stone as the rest of the head with both hands and runs
boulder... peculiar because the at the rock. BONK!
ground around it is... well,
swamp coloured. DOZENS
The boulder begins to vis While Stux and Krunn were fuss
ibly vibrate. At first faint, ing around with the leggy one
but then as if a stampeed of armed boulder, you inadver
horses was going on around it. tently attracted the attention
of the swamps least desirable
KRUNN denizens.
4
TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE
Three oneirophants—the **CRACK** another arm pops
lanky, clammy, pale drowned out of the side of the boulder.
creatures who sleep at the bot Now the fingers on the hand of
tom of the swamp—have crawled the first arm are starting to
up onto the pier. They slither move. The boulder rocks back
around on their bellies grin and forth, pivoting around
ning and grabbing at your an where its fourth leg should
kles. be.
"Come swim with us!" says The mass suddenly stops
the one with no teeth. wiggling as the oneirophants
start talking. It then looks at
"Yes, come sleep under wa one clawing at its leg. It
ter!" agrees the one with far bends over at the middle form
too many teeth. ing a waist until its head is
about a foot from the dread
"Such sights you will lights. It opens its mouth in
see!" dentation and makes a noise
clearly not coming from its
"Yes, such wonders!" throat, but somewhere deep
within it, a noise that sounds
The third oneirophants deep, gutteral, cosmic, and
mouth is sewn shut so you have earthy.
no idea whether or not it has
an appropriate number of teeth. "ggglllaaaAAAAAR
It is awkwardly fumbling around RRRRRGGGGGGG!!"
with the ankle of the humanoid
boulder but seems incapable of It moves its arm down to
getting a hold of it with its wards the oneirophant in an at
cold slippery hand. It looks tempt to grab it and throw it
frustrated and uncomfortable. back into the lake.
One of the bobbing dread DOZENS
lights—alerted to your presence
by the commotion—weaves its way The oneirophant slithers around
over to the pier and shines on its belly, grinning up at
brightly in your eyes so that you with its sharp little
you have to squint. pointy teeth and its large wet
eyes.
"hEy dO YoU YoU WaNt tO
SeE A WeIrD TuRtLe?" says the "Come sleep and swim with
dreadlight. "iTS RiGhT OvEr us!" it hisses at you. "You
hErE, fOlLoW Me. Its rEaLlY can be like a shark! Sleeping
WeIrD. yOu gOtTa sEe iT." and swimming with one eye open
and—ACK!"
WHAT DO YOU DO?
KRUNN Meanwhile Glarg is glarg
ing out super hard. As the
Krunn BONKS! one of the oneiro oneirophant tries in vain to
phants that talks to much. grab your ankle, you in turn
wrap your giant rocky fist
GLARG around its entire torso and
lift it up. It hisses and
5
TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE
slither wriggles in your grasp. DOZENS
You squeeze a little too
tightly, and it pops out of Glarg grabs at the dreadlight.
your grasp like a slippery
fish. You comically juggle it "WHoA ThErE BuDdY!" cries
a few times, squeezing and the dreadlight as it dances
shooting it from your fist. away, tantalizingly just out of
Until finally it flops onto the your grasp, luring you closer
pier, and back into the water. and closer to the edge of the
pier. "lEts nOt bE So gRaBbY
The remaining oneirophants OkAy bIg gUy? I CaNT ShOw yOu
make rude faces and wag their tHiS WeIrD TuRtLe iF IM AlL
fingers at you, disgusted at CaPtUrEd aNd sTuFf! aNd tHaT
your inhospitable behavior. WoUlD Be sAd wOuLdNT It? FoR
And they too slither off the ThErE To bE ThIs tOtAlLy wEiRd
side of the pier. tUrTlE, aNd nObOdY GeTs tO SeE
It?"
Only the dreadlight re
mains, bobbing up and down in Krunn sees Glarg grasp re
the air. It is a small orb of peatedly at the annoying, bob
light about the size of your bing light. Finally, in
fist. It glows a sulphurous evitably, they overextend them
yellow a couple arm lengths self and start to lose their
away from the pier, hovering balance, teetering on the edge
over the water. of the pier.
It buzzes as it speaks in And then—KerSPLASH!!—down
a slightly muffled, undulating they go.
voice, "tHeRes a tUrTlE OuT
HeRe tHaT Is tOtAlLy wEiRd. Glarg floats like a stone
Its lIkE, yOu wOuLdNT EvEn in the water. Which is to say,
bElIeVe iT. yOuvE GoT To cOmE not at all. A gleeful oneiro
SeE ThIs wEiRd tUrTlE, cmOn." phant burbles with delight as
you sink past, "Yes! Haha,
Meanwhile, your way for yessssss!", and finally you
ward is still blocked by the come to rest in the mud at the
washed out bridge. bottom of the swamp.
WHAT DO YOU DO The surface of the water
is only five or six feet out of
GLARG your reach.
Glarg squints its eye indents You notice that you came
at the the dreadlight. Mistak to rest near a large, smooth,
ing it for a shiny rock, it oblong, patterned stone. And
walks on to the pier in attempt as you watch, the stone opens
to grab it. along its seam and a large,
striped turtle head pokes out
KRUNN and looks at you curiously.
Then a second striped head
Krunn like blinky light too. emerges from the shell! The
Krunn also like turtle. YUM! second head continues to regard
Krunn follows Glarg. you while the first one extends
its neck and experimentally
6
TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE
nibbles on your arm with a gen The round head clambers up
tle bite. to the surface, it becomes
clear that the brown flat hat
WHAT DO YOU DO is in fact the top of the
stubby creatures head. It is
STUX also apparent that they have no
arms and legs (or at least no
Suddenly you see a rope peirce visible appendages), but it
the surface of the water and manages to wobble closer until
make its way to you. You grab it is standing about a war
on to it, and someone starts locks arms length away.
pulling you out. You notice it
feels too soft to be a rope, "This one is Cremini!" It
and its full of knots. beams. "What a wonderful day
for a poolside party!"
As you come out of the wa
ter you see the warlock Stux It turns to the water and
pulling you to shore. Thats begins to blow bubbles along
when you finally see that the the surface of the swamp from
"rope" is actually a series of the top of its head.
brightly colored hankerchiefs
tied together. GLARG
Stux says: "Guys, I have a Glarg looks at, what it per
confession to make. I didnt ceives to be, a talking rock.
exactly tell you the whole Glarg picks up Cremini and
truth about myself. You see, I holds it close to its bosom
am a warlock, but Im a party turn to look down at the lake
warlock. Like kids parties. My and rumbles:
deity is Bozo The Clown. I re
ally do have magic, but its "Twaarrrrrtaaaal"
not the cool or useful kind."
CREMINI
He looks down at his feet.
"I just wanted to feel cool, The talking mushroom rock—or is
like a real adventurer and not it a rock mushroom?—giggles
a 38 year old party entertainer when Glarg picks it up. "Youre
that lives in his grand very strong!" It exclaims. They
mothers basement" look downwards at the lake as
well. "Turtles all the way
CREMINI down!"
"Did someone say magic and par DOZENS
ties?" says a giggling voice
from somewhere under the pier. recap:
A small round head wearing a
flat hat with pops out from the Bloodmoon Gate has
among the algae and rocks to started to open once again and
peer curiously at Stux with harbingers of the Demon Horde
beady black eyes. It smiles have been seen in the Silver
softly at the party warlock. Yonder. Your mission is to re
"Entertainers are cool! Are you cover the Five Artifacts and
holding a party? Thats useful reassemble the Staff of the
for having fun!" Archmage, the legendary weapon
7
TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE
that can seal the demon gate bonk you. Krunn like to party.
forever. You are currently in Krunn sees turtle and licks
the Swamp of Sorrows seeking lips. He decides not to BONK!
the Pinky, guardian of the turtle but to use ancient bar
first artifact. barian turtle charming tech
nique. He starts to play drums
And now: on his club.
Stux the party warlock CREMINI
fishes Glarg out of the swamp.
From its cozy nook in Glargs
Glarg picks up Cremini, arms, Cremini bobs its small
the small agreeable mushroom rocky head to the beat of
creature whose rock content is Krunns club drums. They send
currently unknown. tiny bubbles floating in the
air towards the turtle with
Krunn assesses the land light popping sounds in sync
scape for potential things to with the rhythm.
bonk.
GLARG
The swamp water bubbles,
froths, and churns. As though Glarg is vibin˜˜
summoned by the Glargs words,
a twoheaded turtle of enormous It feels moved to "sing".
girth breaches the surface. A sound emminated from it that
is reminiscent of an inactive
Its shell is black and volcano trying to sing the AB
covered in spiraling geodesic Cs to the beat of the Krunns
patterns. Its heads are also drum.
black, and have colorful
stripes that run from behind DOZENS
their eyes along the back of
their heads and necks. The party starts ROCKING OUT.
You think that if you play It is a total raver!
this right and pacify the tur
tle somehow with your unique Krunn is drumming, Glarg
skills and talents, that it is singing, Cremini is blowing
might ferry you across the bubbles. And Stux the Party
washed out bridge to the other Warlock is doing all kinds of
side. cool party tricks. Making bal
loon animals. They even man
The dreadlight bobs up and aged to produce a small xylo
down excitedly, "oH HeCk yEaH phone from somewhere and are
LoOk aT ThAt tUrTlE! oH MaN It banging out a jaunty melody
iS So wEiRd hAhA! hAhA, with a tiny mallet.
wHeEeEe!"
The giant, twoheaded tur
WHAT DO YOU DO? tle freezes in place. Both
heads regard you, wideeyed and
KRUNN silent. And then they both
start bobbing up and down in
Stux even though you party lock time to the music.
I still your friend and wont
8
TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE
After the performance, the club raised. Ready to BONK it.
giant, obsidian turtle drifts
over to the edge of the pier. GLARG
You climb aboard, and continue
to party hard and rock out as Glarg, is new to being around
the creature happily ferries fleshy lifeforms. It is left
you safely across the swamp. assuming that the gilpins
mustve gotten carried away
The dreadlight, still bob while playing and fallen apart.
bing up and down in place, It clumsily tries to put one
cries out, "oMg tHaT Is sO back together and wait for it
SiCk! HaHa wHaT A WeIrD TuRtLe! to turn back on.
YoU GuYs aRe tOtAlLy cRaZy!"
CREMINI
You land on the other side
and deturtle, climbing out Spotting the toadstools, Crem
onto the slick grass and mud of ini sends out tiny pink bubbles
the far shore. The turtle that land on each toadstools
sinks back into the swamp with head in some convoluted pattern
a small smile on each of its that may as well be random were
faces and settles down into the it not for the *blip bloop*
mud for a long nap. sounds. Like a chipmunks tune,
with only 8 bits.
You follow the path
through the swamp and eventu DOZENS
ally come to a largeish clear
ing. It is a small glade full Cremini blows some tiny pink
of silvery blades of grass. It bubbles and plays some dope
is full of eviscerated gilpins— toadstool chiptune. The toad
small swamp gnomes that kind of stools light up in a neon pas
resemble fishlike bunny rab tel pattern of bright pinks and
bits; it is kind of unfair how yellows and blues and purples.
cute they are—strewn about in You cant help but think that
piles and pieces. The center the dreadlight would think this
of the glade is completely is tOtAlLy aWeSoMe.
clean and clear of the gore
that fills the rest of the Glarg puzzles over a few
space. It is empty except for gilpin pieces and clumsily
a circle of small toadstools, tries to assemble them. They
in the center of which sits a end up with a cluster of two or
tiny black cat which looks up three torsos and a few too many
at you with huge round yellow limbs jutting out at odd an
eyes. It mewls pathetically gles. Almost as an after
and rolls on its back. thought they thrust a head into
its center. It is a furry,
WHAT DO YOU DO scaly, rabbity, fishy abomina
tion. They set it down on the
KRUNN ground and make some coaxing,
pleading sounds at it. It
Krunn looks sternly at the cat. sounds like smooth river rocks
"Why you kill all gnome thing? rubbing against each other.
You going to get a BONK for
that. Bad Kitty!" Krunn walks Krunn severely scolds and
toward the black cat with his chastises the very bad kitty!
9
TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE
In reply, it rolls onto its but rhythmically in a repeating
side and does a big pattern of colors.
streeeeeeetch, clawing at the
ground and doing a cute meow WHAT DO YOU DO?
purr.
GLARG
Krunn crosses into the
toadstool circle and the small Glarg is delighted that the
cat leaps to its feet, arches flesh elemental has reanimated!
its back and hisses and spits It looks over its shoulder and
at the sudden intrusion. It is alarmed by the new cal
backs away but doesnt leave cium/keratin elemental that ap
the circle, and soon it is cor peared out of nowhere. It picks
nered, and Krunn gives it a up Jr, the flesh elemental, and
solid BONK right on the head, puts it in the crook of its
leaving a small gash across the left arm while shifting Crimini
top of its head. It falls to to the right, and slowly backs
the ground in a heap and backs away towards the entrance
doesnt move. to the grove.
The toadstools audibly ex CREMINI
hale, and a pinkish cloud of
spores engulf the cat. It "Oops. Shouldve started with a
yowls and jumps up and puffs up demo cut. Hee hee." says Crem
to an enormous size. Its eyes ini from the crook of Glargs
bulge. And its warping, twist arm. It emits a few more teeny
ing bones outgrow their fleshy green bubbles towards the toad
enclosure, starting at the stools, just for a few opening
skull where Krunn split it. notes of an adagio to float
When its transformation is com out. A midi playing on air.
plete, a huge skeletal beast
with a mane of black fur across KRUNN
its shoulders stands inside the
mushroom circle. It roars, Wide eyed, Krunn takes a few
baring its long fangs, and steps back. "Krunn sorry for
swipes at Krunn with its sharp BONK. Maybe we can be friends"
boney claws! Kronn says. He reaches into
his belt pouch and pulls out a
The spores waft throughout piece of yarn. "Look kitty I
the glade. A few of them drift have to for you." he says as he
over and land on the flesh dangles it in front of the mon
golem Glarg made of gilpin ster cat.
pieces. They seep into its
skin and its eyes shoot open. DOZENS
It looks around in apparent
confusion, gasps for air, and Krunn entices the skelebeast
moans. It cautiously reaches with a piece of yarn. It stops
out to Glarg with its tangle of and cocks its head to the side.
limbs. "Ma... Ma?" It flops onto its side, and
bats at the end of string with
Crimini notices that—al one big skeletal paw. Its long
though they have stopped making tail swishes back and forth in
music at this point—the toad a wide arc.
stools continue to pulse weakly
10
TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE
Glarg backs up with Jr in disloge the foreign body from
one arm and Cremini in the the chest cavity, which sounds
other. They notice a cylindri a little like:
cal item rattling around inside
the beasts rib cage. It is ++++++++++[>+>+++>+++
the size of a small torch, or ++++>++++++++++<<<<]
some kind of baton, or maybe a >>>+++.<++.>>.++++
large rolled up scroll. It ++++++++.<<.>>.
seems to be made of some kind .+++++++++++++.
of a dull silvery metal. .<<.>>++++++
+++++++++..<<.>>
Cremini blows a few tiny ..+++++++.+
green bubbles. The toadstools +++.<<.>>+++++++++.
bop out a little melody. .++++++.<<.>>
.++++
Jr, the gilpin flesh ele +++..++++++++.
mental, smiles happily and .+++++++++.++
groans, and waves their arms ++++.
around in time with the toad .+++++++++++.<<.>>
stool song. .++++++++++++.
..+++++++
WHAT DO YOU DO ++..<<+++++
+++++++++.
CREMINI
Following Glargs line of
sight, Cremini squints at the
skelekats ribs, "Hey, party
people! Whats that inside the
skele? Could it be a treasure
map? Should we ask it for a
looksie?"
GLARG
"DRaaagaaaarMArrrrrb?"
Glarg squints its eye
sockets at the mineral/protein
elemental. It puts Cremini down
gently and then carefully bal
ances Jr on top of his "hat."
He then starts a
sprint/gallop on all fours,
faster than you might expect a
sentient boulder to move. Its
goal is to climb the elemental
and grab the curly rock trapped
inside.
It tries to communicate in
one of the common elemental
language that its here to help
11

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@ -0,0 +1,633 @@
---
title: "Townies & Taverns"
description: "A silly little role-playing game"
created: 2023-02-13
updated: 2023-03-25
---
Townies & Taverns is an experimental freeform role-playing game taking place on the `list+town@tilde.town` mailing list (internal only).
It started when ~mhj asked the following question:
::: { .pc .mhj }
What are some good play by email games? It would also be cool to do a play by email dungeons and dragons campaign maybe? I dunno how that would work, but yeah...
:::
::: { .dm .dozens }
oh snap guess what, it's already happening
~
Defeating the demon hordes and sealing the Bloodmoon Gate was King Ardan's greatest accomplishment. Afterward, he shattered the Staff of the Archmage into five pieces and flung them to the farthest regions of the Silver Yonder to ensure that the foul gate would remain closed forever.
Each of the five pieces of the staff were entrusted to one of Ardan's most faithful warriors. They developed over the years into five powerful, secretive sects. Together, they are known as the Hand.
The years that followed the closing of the gate were ones of peace and prosperity. Generations were born and grew old during Ardan's reign. Such was the fey-touched king's lifespan elongated. The terrors of the Demon Plague soon faded into legend.
Now, fools and villains have meddled where they ought not. And the Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again. Imps, gremlins, and other minor demons---harbingers of the demon horde---have been spotted causing mischief throughout the Yonder.
The king, now wizened and enfeebled, has assembled his greatest and mightiest adventurers to recover the lost pieces of the Staff of the Archmage. For only its power can save the Silver Yonder from the demon hordes.
Unfortunately they never came back.
So now the king's quest has fallen to you! The kingdom's second
greatest and mightiest adventurers! You must not fail!
~
You are at The Famous Shrub, one of the busiest taverns in Woodhome. And tonight is your last night in town before heading into the Flooded Lands to confront the clan of barbarians known as the Pinky and recover the first artifact.
1. Who are you?
2. Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?
3. What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands?
4. What evidence have you seen of demonic presence?
5. How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?
:::
::: { .pc .stux }
Oh, sounds like fun!
1. I am Stux RowHammer, nearly renowned worlock
2. The Pinky are rumored to have a weapon able to destroy entire
villages. No one's ever seen it or seen proof of it, but it's so
scary that no one's every questions it
3. None have ever returned to tell what dark beasts stalk that land
4. I spend it enjoying food and games with my family
Did I do that right?
:::
::: pc
> 1. Who are you?
oh! oh dear, i figured we'd met already, but i understand if you didn't se--hey! down here! please watch where you step! gnomes don't have very strong bones you know. my name is tato, the illusion! i enjoy card tricks, and making people disappear
...
ME I MEAN. PAY NO HEED TO THE RUMORS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD
> 2. Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?
like my good friend stux mentioned, it is rumo--huh, what do you mean you don't know me either? i've followed you for weeks now
no matter
the destruction of entire villages is actually only the second scariest trick this weapon this is proof enough for me, it's just science! but to be fully rigorous, i sought to investigate further
upon discovering the author and asking where these visions came from, the author replied "hell awaits you for breaking into my house at this hour!", which i believe refers to the coming demonic invasion
> 5. How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?
woodhome means a lot to me, so i will check in with all of my friends!
none of them are much the speaking type, i do not believe any of them have ever spoken a word to me! but their company comforts me nonetheless
:::
::: dm
When the world was young, the bountiful earth and the hungry sea fell in love with each other from a distance. The earth would make eyes at the sea, and the sea would bashfully wave. They agreed to meet face to face to consummate their love, and the waters rose up and flooded the land. When the great flood receded, the devastation was total. Great cities were erased. Entire civilizations were wiped out. When they saw what they had done in their carelessness, earth and sea agreed that, though their love may continue to burn, they must never see each other again.
But see each other they did. Quietly and discreetly, their passions held in check by the fear of losing control once more.
The Flooded Lands are the last place where earth and sea mingle. Endless bogs, wetlands, swamps, and marshes. Neither the children of the earth nor the children of the sea are entirely at home here. Rather, this is home to those born of the flood. Things made of mud and clay. Slimy, scaley things with and fur and gills.
Your goal here is to find the Pinky, Ardan's champion, and recover
the first artifact of the archmage.
Two paths lie ahead of you.
One is through the Swamp of Sorrows. It is the most direct route and will get you to the Pinky's monastery the quickest. But it is also the most dangerous. For the swamp is full of Dreadlights, Bog Rot, and Oneirophants.
The more circuitous route is also the safer option. It will take you around the swamp, through the Trollfen, and over Turtle Mound. A longer journey, but one less fraught with danger.
WHAT DO YOU DO
:::
::: { .pc .stux }
I look at the rest of the party
"What do you all think? I'm no ranger, I don't know much about the wilderness. I'm not afraid to take the quick route, but I also see the wisdom in the more cautious approach".
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
1. Who are you?
Me Krunn with club who go BONK!
2. Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?
They too have club go BONK!
3. What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands?
Big thing with big bite that ouch.
4. What evidence have you seen of demonic presence?
Big foot that wide as arms.
5. How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?
Eat drink sleep
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
Krunn say go swamp more to thing to BONK.
:::
::: dm
The story thus far: you are on a mission to re-assemble the Staff of the Archmage and seal the Bloodmoon Gate to prevent the Demon Horde from sweeping across the Silver Yonder. The first piece of the staff is in the possession of the Pinky somewhere in the Flooded Lands.
~
There is a long footbridge of rotten, moldy, wooden planks that leads out across the fetid water. You follow it into the Swamp of Sorrows.
The swamp is putrid. Almost nauseatingly smelly. A thick carpet of orange algae undulates with the rippling of the water beneath it. Pockets of swamp gas escape the mud far below and belch noisily when they reach the surface. Clouds of insects float above the water, and nip at you as you pass by. Large swamp trees grow here, with gnarled, twisted roots. Moss and thick vines hang from the branches and block your view. Between the trees, in the distance, you can see sulphurous yellow dreadlights bobbing up and down, just waiting to lure an unwitting traveler out into the waters.
Just up ahead, a large portion of the bridge has collapsed. About as far across as a wide road. You look down and see five or eight emaciated, milky white bodies floating suspended in the water below you. Their eyes are closed and their skin is pulled taught across their bones. Their hair spreads out like a halo around their heads. These are Oneirophants, slumbering prisoners of the swamp. If you're lucky, they won't bother you. If you disturb their slumber though,
they may try to pull you down into the swamp to join them.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
A few paces left of the entrance to the collapsed bridge is what appears to be a boulder with an arm sticking out the side of it. It seems to give off a very faint hum.
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
Tell Stux and little gnome to stand back. Krunn will roll boulder cause Krunn strong.
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
As you study the boulder you notice the arm protruding from it is made of the same burnt umber stone as the rest of the boulder... peculiar because the ground around it is... well, swamp coloured.
The boulder begins to visibly vibrate. At first faint, but then as if a stampeed of horses was going on around it.
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
Stux what we do ? It might be woo woo magic. Krunn slowly backs away waiting for Stux or the gnomes reply.
:::
::: { .pc .stux }
Hmmmm... Something strange is going on here. I'm going to put on my sunglasses of true sight and see if anything becomes obvious.
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
Through the sunglasses you can see the outline of a large bulky humanoid curled up into a tight ball with its arm sticking out.
All of a sudden, with a loud, deep crack, the leg dislodges itself from the ball and starts kicking the ground. Now the boulder is rocking back-and-forth in place with the leg kicking the ground when it gets close.
:::
::: { .pc .stux }
"Hey Krunn, its BONKING TIME! Somtimes you gotta BONK first and ask questions when they regain conscienceness"
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
With a solemn nod to Stux, Krunn raises his club over his head with both hands and runs at the rock. BONK!
:::
::: dm
While Stux and Krunn were fussing around with the leggy one-armed
boulder, you inadvertently attracted the attention of the swamp's
least desirable denizens.
Three oneirophants---the lanky, clammy, pale drowned creatures who
sleep at the bottom of the swamp---have crawled up onto the pier.
They slither around on their bellies grinning and grabbing at your
ankles.
"Come swim with us!" says the one with no teeth.
"Yes, come sleep under water!" agrees the one with far too many
teeth.
"Such sights you will see!"
"Yes, such wonders!"
The third oneirophant's mouth is sewn shut so you have no idea whether or not it has an appropriate number of teeth. It is awkwardly fumbling around with the ankle of the humanoid boulder but seems incapable of getting a hold of it with its cold slippery hand. It looks frustrated and uncomfortable.
One of the bobbing dreadlights---alerted to your presence by the commotion---weaves its way over to the pier and shines brightly in your eyes so that you have to squint.
"hEy dO YoU YoU WaNt tO SeE A WeIrD TuRtLe?" says the dreadlight. "iT'S RiGhT OvEr hErE, fOlLoW Me. It's rEaLlY WeIrD. yOu gOtTa sEe iT."
WHAT DO YOU DO?
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
Krunn BONKS! one of the oneirophants that talks to much.
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
After Krunn BONKS the boulder, its shaking slows to a rumble and then stops. Then **CRACK**; a squat hemisphere pops out of the top of the boulder. The hemisphere rotates 180 degrees. As the... head?... completes its rotation, what appears to be crude facial feature become visible, like a sculpter was making the rough draft of a head in clay.
**CRACK** another arm pops out of the side of the boulder. Now the fingers on the hand of the first arm are starting to move. The boulder rocks back and forth, pivoting around where it's fourth leg should be.
The mass suddenly stops wiggling as the oneirophants start talking. It then looks at one clawing at its leg. It bends over at the middle forming a waist until its head is about a foot from the dreadlights. It opens its mouth indentation and makes a noise clearly not coming from its throat, but somewhere deep within it, a noise that sounds deep, gutteral, cosmic, and earthy.
"ggglllaaaAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!"
It moves its arm down towards the oneirophant in an attempt to grab it and throw it back into the lake.
:::
::: dm
The oneirophant slithers around on its belly, grinning up at you with its sharp little pointy teeth and its large wet eyes.
"Come sleep and swim with us!" it hisses at you. "You can be like a shark! Sleeping and swimming with one eye open and---ACK!"
Krunn BONKS the talkative oneirophant right on its noggin. Its skull makes a squishy sound and flattens---ejecting a surprising amount of water---and slowly, slowly returns to its normal shape like a sponge. It looks up at Krunn, insulted and cross-eyed and kind of lopsided, and slinks away off the side of the pier and back into the swamp with a plop.
Meanwhile Glarg is glarging out super hard. As the oneirophant tries in vain to grab your ankle, you in turn wrap your giant rocky fist around its entire torso and lift it up. It hisses and slither wriggles in your grasp. You squeeze a little too tightly, and it pops out of your grasp like a slippery fish. You comically juggle it a few times, squeezing and shooting it from your fist. Until finally it flops onto the pier, and back into the water.
The remaining oneirophants make rude faces and wag their fingers at you, disgusted at your inhospitable behavior. And they too slither off the side of the pier.
Only the dreadlight remains, bobbing up and down in the air. It is a small orb of light about the size of your fist. It glows a sulphurous yellow a couple arm lengths away from the pier, hovering over the water.
It buzzes as it speaks in a slightly muffled, undulating voice, "tHeRe's a tUrTlE OuT HeRe tHaT Is tOtAlLy wEiRd. It's lIkE, yOu wOuLdN'T EvEn bElIeVe iT. yOu'vE GoT To cOmE SeE ThIs wEiRd tUrTlE, c'mOn."
Meanwhile, your way forward is still blocked by the washed out bridge.
WHAT DO YOU DO
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
Glarg squints its eye indents at the the dreadlight. Mistaking it for a shiny rock, it walks on to the pier in attempt to grab it.
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
Krunn like blinky light too. Krunn also like turtle. YUM! Krunn follows
Glarg.
:::
::: dm
Glarg grabs at the dreadlight.
"WHoA ThErE BuDdY!" cries the dreadlight as it dances away,
tantalizingly just out of your grasp, luring you closer and closer to
the edge of the pier. "lEt's nOt bE So gRaBbY OkAy bIg gUy? I CaN'T
ShOw yOu tHiS WeIrD TuRtLe iF I'M AlL CaPtUrEd aNd sTuFf! aNd tHaT
WoUlD Be sAd wOuLdN'T It? FoR ThErE To bE ThIs tOtAlLy wEiRd tUrTlE,
aNd nObOdY GeTs tO SeE It?"
Krunn sees Glarg grasp repeatedly at the annoying, bobbing light.
Finally, inevitably, they overextend themself and start to lose their
balance, teetering on the edge of the pier.
And then--KerSPLASH!!--down they go.
Glarg floats like a stone in the water. Which is to say, not at all.
A gleeful oneirophant burbles with delight as you sink past,
"Yes! Haha, yessssss!", and finally you come to rest in the mud at
the bottom of the swamp.
The surface of the water is only five or six feet out of your reach.
You notice that you came to rest near a large, smooth, oblong,
patterned stone. And as you watch, the stone opens along its seam
and a large, striped turtle head pokes out and looks at you
curiously. Then a second striped head emerges from the shell! The
second head continues to regard you while the first one extends its
neck and experimentally nibbles on your arm with a gentle bite.
WHAT DO YOU DO
:::
::: { .pc .stux }
Suddenly you see a rope peirce the surface of the water and make it's way to
you. You grab on to it, and someone starts pulling you out. You notice it
feels too soft to be a rope, and it's full of knots.
As you come out of the water you see the warlock Stux pulling you to shore.
That's when you finally see that the "rope" is actually a series of brightly
colored hankerchiefs tied together.
Stux says:
"Guys, I have a confession to make. I didn't exactly tell you the whole truth
about myself. You see, I am a warlock, but I'm a party warlock. Like kids
parties. My deity is Bozo The Clown. I really do have magic, but it's not the
cool or useful kind."
He looks down at his feet.
"I just wanted to feel cool, like a real adventurer and not a 38 year old
party entertainer that live's in his grandmother's basement"
:::
::: { .pc .cremini }
"Did someone say magic and parties?" says a giggling voice from somewhere under
the pier. A small round head wearing a flat hat with pops out from among the
algae and rocks to peer curiously at Stux with beady black eyes. It smiles
softly at the party warlock. "Entertainers are cool! Are you holding a party?
That's useful for having fun!"
The round head clambers up to the surface, it becomes clear that the brown flat
hat is in fact the top of the stubby creature's head. It is also apparent that
they have no arms and legs (or at least no visible appendages), but it manages
to wobble closer until it is standing about a warlock's arm's length away.
"This one is Cremini!" It beams. "What a wonderful day for a poolside party!"
It turns to the water and begins to blow bubbles along the surface of the
swamp from the top of its head.
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
Glarg looks at, what it perceives to be, a talking rock. Glarg picks up
Cremini and holds it close to its bosom turn to look down at the lake
and rumbles:
"Twaarrrrr-taaaal"
:::
::: { .pc .cremini }
The talking mushroom rock — or is it a rock mushroom? — giggles when Glarg
picks it up. "You're very strong!" It exclaims. They look downwards at the
lake as well. "Turtles all the way down!"
:::
::: dm
recap:
the Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again and harbingers of
the Demon Horde have been seen in the Silver Yonder. Your mission is
to recover the Five Artifacts and reassemble the Staff of the
Archmage, the legendary weapon that can seal the demon gate forever.
You are currently in the Swamp of Sorrows seeking the Pinky, guardian
of the first artifact.
And now:
Stux the party warlock fishes Glarg out of the swamp.
Glarg picks up Cremini, the small agreeable mushroom creature whose
rock content is currently unknown.
Krunn assesses the landscape for potential things to bonk.
The swamp water bubbles, froths, and churns. As though summoned by
the Glarg's words, a two-headed turtle of enormous girth breaches the
surface.
Its shell is black and covered in spiraling geodesic patterns. Its
heads are also black, and have colorful stripes that run from behind
their eyes along the back of their heads and necks.
You think that if you play this right and pacify the turtle somehow
with your unique skills and talents, that it might ferry you across
the washed out bridge to the other side.
The dreadlight bobs up and down excitedly, "oH HeCk yEaH LoOk aT
ThAt tUrTlE! oH MaN It iS So wEiRd hAhA! hAhA, wHeEeEe!"
WHAT DO YOU DO?
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
Stux even though you party lock I still your friend and won't bonk you. Krunn
like to party. Krunn sees turtle and licks lips. He decides not to BONK!
turtle but to use ancient barbarian turtle charming technique. He starts to
play drums on his club.
:::
::: { .pc .cremini }
From its cozy nook in Glarg's arms, Cremini bobs its small rock-y head to the
beat of Krunn's club drums. They send tiny bubbles floating in the air towards
the turtle with light popping sounds in sync with the rhythm.
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
Glarg is vibin~~
It feels moved to "sing". A sound emminated from it that is reminiscent
of an inactive volcano trying to sing the A-B-Cs to the beat of the
Krunn's drum.
:::
::: dm
The party starts ROCKING OUT.
It is a total raver!
Krunn is drumming, Glarg is singing, Cremini is blowing bubbles. And
Stux the Party Warlock is doing all kinds of cool party tricks.
Making balloon animals. They even managed to produce a small
xylophone from somewhere and are banging out a jaunty melody with a
tiny mallet.
The giant, two-headed turtle freezes in place. Both heads regard
you, wide-eyed and silent. And then they both start bobbing up and
down in time to the music.
After the performance, the giant, obsidian turtle drifts over to the
edge of the pier. You climb aboard, and continue to party hard and
rock out as the creature happily ferries you safely across the swamp.
The dreadlight, still bobbing up and down in place, cries out, "oMg
tHaT Is sO SiCk! HaHa wHaT A WeIrD TuRtLe! YoU GuYs aRe tOtAlLy
cRaZy!"
You land on the other side and de-turtle, climbing out onto the slick
grass and mud of the far shore. The turtle sinks back into the swamp
with a small smile on each of its faces and settles down into the mud
for a long nap.
You follow the path through the swamp and eventually come to a
large-ish clearing. It is a small glade full of silvery blades of
grass. It is full of eviscerated gilpins---small swamp gnomes that
kind of resemble fish-like bunny rabbits; it is kind of unfair how
cute they are---strewn about in piles and pieces. The center of the
glade is completely clean and clear of the gore that fills the rest
of the space. It is empty except for a circle of small toadstools,
in the center of which sits a tiny black cat which looks up at you
with huge round yellow eyes. It mewls pathetically and rolls on its
back.
WHAT DO YOU DO
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
Krunn looks sternly at the cat. "Why you kill all gnome thing? You going to
get a BONK for that. Bad Kitty!" Krunn walks toward the black cat with his
club raised. Ready to BONK it.
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
Glarg, is new to being around fleshy lifeforms. It is left assuming that
the gilpins must've gotten carried away while playing and fallen apart.
It clumsily tries to put one back together and wait for it to turn back
on.
:::
::: { .pc .cremini }
Spotting the toadstools, Cremini sends out tiny pink bubbles that land on each
toadstool's head in some convoluted pattern that may as well be random were it
not for the *blip bloop* sounds. Like a chipmunk's tune, with only 8 bits.
:::
::: dm
Cremini blows some tiny pink bubbles and plays some dope toadstool
chiptune. The toadstools light up in a neon pastel pattern of bright
pinks and yellows and blues and purples. You can't help but think
that the dreadlight would think this is tOtAlLy aWeSoMe.
Glarg puzzles over a few gilpin pieces and clumsily tries to assemble
them. They end up with a cluster of two or three torsos and a few
too many limbs jutting out at odd angles. Almost as an afterthought
they thrust a head into its center. It is a furry, scaly, rabbity,
fishy abomination. They set it down on the ground and make some
coaxing, pleading sounds at it. It sounds like smooth river rocks
rubbing against each other.
Krunn severely scolds and chastises the very bad kitty! In reply, it
rolls onto its side and does a big streeeeeeetch, clawing at the
ground and doing a cute meow-purr.
Krunn crosses into the toadstool circle and the small cat leaps to
its feet, arches its back and hisses and spits at the sudden
intrusion. It backs away but doesn't leave the circle, and soon it
is cornered, and Krunn gives it a solid BONK right on the head,
leaving a small gash across the top of its head. It falls to the
ground in a heap and doesn't move.
The toadstools audibly exhale, and a pinkish cloud of spores engulf
the cat. It yowls and jumps up and puffs up to an enormous size.
Its eyes bulge. And its warping, twisting bones outgrow their fleshy
enclosure, starting at the skull where Krunn split it. When its
transformation is complete, a huge skeletal beast with a mane of
black fur across its shoulders stands inside the mushroom circle. It
roars, baring its long fangs, and swipes at Krunn with its sharp
boney claws!
The spores waft throughout the glade. A few of them drift over and
land on the flesh golem Glarg made of gilpin pieces. They seep into
its skin and its eyes shoot open. It looks around in apparent
confusion, gasps for air, and moans. It cautiously reaches out to
Glarg with its tangle of limbs. "Ma... Ma?"
Crimini notices that---although they have stopped making music at
this point---the toadstools continue to pulse weakly but rhythmically
in a repeating pattern of colors.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
Glarg is delighted that the flesh elemental has reanimated! It looks
over its shoulder and is alarmed by the new calcium/keratin elemental that
appeared out of nowhere. It picks up Jr, the flesh elemental, and puts
it in the crook of its left arm while shifting Crimini to the right, and
slowly backs backs away towards the entrance to the grove.
:::
::: { .pc .cremini }
"Oops. Should've started with a demo cut. Hee hee." says Cremini from the crook
of Glarg's arm. It emits a few more teeny green bubbles towards the toadstools,
just for a few opening notes of an adagio to float out. A midi playing on air.
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
Wide eyed, Krunn takes a few steps back. "Krunn sorry for BONK. Maybe we
can be friends" Kronn says. He reaches into his belt pouch and pulls out a
piece of yarn. "Look kitty I have to for you." he says as he dangles it in
front of the monster cat.
:::
::: dm
Krunn entices the skelebeast with a piece of yarn. It stops and
cocks its head to the side. It flops onto its side, and bats at the
end of string with one big skeletal paw. Its long tail swishes back
and forth in a wide arc.
Glarg backs up with Jr in one arm and Cremini in the other. They
notice a cylindrical item rattling around inside the beast's rib
cage. It is the size of a small torch, or some kind of baton, or
maybe a large rolled up scroll. It seems to be made of some kind of
a dull silvery metal.
Cremini blows a few tiny green bubbles. The toadstools bop out a
little melody.
Jr, the gilpin flesh elemental, smiles happily and groans, and waves
their arms around in time with the toadstool song.
WHAT DO YOU DO
:::
::: date
Wed, Apr 12 at 8:13 PM
:::
::: { .pc .cremini }
Following Glarg's line of sight, Cremini squints at the skelekat's ribs, "Hey,
party people! What's that inside the skele? Could it be a treasure map? Should
we ask it for a looksie?"
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
"DRaaagaaaarMArrrrrb?"
Glarg squints its eye sockets at the mineral/protein elemental. It puts
Cremini down gently and then carefully balances Jr on top of his "hat."
He then starts a sprint/gallop on all fours, faster than you might
expect a sentient boulder to move. Its goal is to climb the elemental
and grab the curly rock trapped inside.
It tries to communicate in one of the common elemental language that its
here to help disloge the foreign body from the chest cavity, which
sounds a little like:
```
++++++++++[>+>+++>+++++++>++++++++++<<<<-]>>>+++.<++.>>---.++++++++++++.<<.>>-----.---.+++++++++++++.-------------.<<.>>+++++++++++++++.-----.<<.>>-------.---.+++++++.++++.<<.>>+++++++++.----------.++++++.<<.>>----------------.+++++++.-------.++++++++.--------.+++++++++.++++++.-------------------.+++++++++++.<<.>>------.++++++++++++.---------.----.+++++++++.----------.<<++++++++++++++.
```
:::

717
groff/src/story.ms 100644
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@ -0,0 +1,717 @@
.ds TITLE TOWNIES & TAVERNS: THE BLOODMOON GATE
.ds AUTHOR dozens and the tilde.town players
.ds DESC A silly little role-playing game
.ds CREATED 2023-02-13
.ds UPDATED 2023-03-25
.
.
.
.P1 1
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.TL
\*[TITLE]
.AU
\*[AUTHOR]
.AI
dozens@tilde.team
.AB no
.LP
.I "Townies & Taverns"
is an
unfinished experimental freeform role-playing game
that took place in the spring of 2023
on the internal
.CW
list+town@tilde.town
.R
mailing list.
.LP
It all started when ~mhj asked the following question:
.QS
.I
What are some good play by email games?
It would also be cool to do a play by email dungeons and dragons campaign maybe?
I dunno how that would work, but yeah...
.R
\*[-]mhj
.QE
.LP
What follows is the answer to that question.
.AE
.ND 2023-09-26
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.2C
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.Heading DOZENS
.LP
Defeating the demon hordes and sealing the Bloodmoon Gate was King
Ardan's greatest accomplishment. Afterward, he shattered the Staff of
the Archmage into five pieces and flung them to the farthest regions
of the Silver Yonder to ensure that the foul gate would remain closed
forever.
.PP
Each of the five pieces of the staff were entrusted to one of Ardan's
most faithful warriors. They developed over the years into five
powerful, secretive sects. Together, they are known as the Hand.
.PP
The years that followed the closing of the gate were ones of peace
and prosperity. Generations were born and grew old during Ardan's
reign. Such was the fey-touched king's lifespan elongated. The
terrors of the Demon Plague soon faded into legend.
.PP
Now, fools and villains have meddled where they ought not. And the Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again. Imps, gremlins, and other minor demons\*[-]harbingers of the demon horde\*[-]have been spotted causing mischief throughout the Yonder.
.PP
The king, now wizened and enfeebled, has assembled his greatest and mightiest adventurers to recover the lost pieces of the Staff of the Archmage. For only its power can save the Silver Yonder from the demon hordes.
.PP
Unfortunately they never came back.
.PP
So now the king's quest has fallen to you! The kingdom's second
greatest and mightiest adventurers! You must not fail!
.PP
You are at The Famous Shrub, one of the busiest taverns in Woodhome. And tonight is your last night in town before heading into the Flooded Lands to confront the clan of barbarians known as the Pinky and recover the first artifact.
.IP 1. 3n
Who are you?
.IP 2.
Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?
.IP 3.
What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands?
.IP 4.
What evidence have you seen of demonic presence?
.IP 5.
How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?
.PI
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.Heading STUX
.LP
Oh, sounds like fun!
.PP
.IP 1. 3n
I am Stux RowHammer, nearly renowned worlock
.IP 2.
The Pinky are rumored to have a weapon able to destroy entire
villages. No one's ever seen it or seen proof of it, but it's so
scary that no one's every questions it
.IP 3.
None have ever returned to tell what dark beasts stalk that land
.IP 4.
I spend it enjoying food and games with my family
.LP
Did I do that right?
.
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.
.Heading MHJ
.IP 1. 3n
Who are you?
.PP
oh! oh dear, i figured we'd met already, but i understand if you didn't se\*[-]hey! down here! please watch where you step! gnomes don't have very strong bones you know. my name is tato, the illusion! i enjoy card tricks, and making people disappear
.PP
ME I MEAN. PAY NO HEED TO THE RUMORS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD
.IP 2. 3n
Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?
.PP
like my good friend stux mentioned, it is rumo\*[-]huh, what do you mean you don't know me either? i've followed you for weeks now
.PP
no matter
.PP
the destruction of entire villages is actually only the second scariest trick this weapon this is proof enough for me, it's just science! but to be fully rigorous, i sought to investigate further
.PP
upon discovering the author and asking where these visions came from, the author replied "hell awaits you for breaking into my house at this hour!", which i believe refers to the coming demonic invasion
.PI 5. 3n
How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?
.PP
woodhome means a lot to me, so i will check in with all of my friends!
.PP
none of them are much the speaking type, i do not believe any of them have ever spoken a word to me! but their company comforts me nonetheless
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.Heading DOZENS
.LP
When the world was young, the bountiful earth and the hungry sea fell in love with each other from a distance. The earth would make eyes at the sea, and the sea would bashfully wave. They agreed to meet face to face to consummate their love, and the waters rose up and flooded the land. When the great flood receded, the devastation was total. Great cities were erased. Entire civilizations were wiped out. When they saw what they had done in their carelessness, earth and sea agreed that, though their love may continue to burn, they must never see each other again.
.PP
But see each other they did. Quietly and discreetly, their passions held in check by the fear of losing control once more.
.PP
The Flooded Lands are the last place where earth and sea mingle. Endless bogs, wetlands, swamps, and marshes. Neither the children of the earth nor the children of the sea are entirely at home here. Rather, this is home to those born of the flood. Things made of mud and clay. Slimy, scaley things with and fur and gills.
.PP
Your goal here is to find the Pinky, Ardan's champion, and recover
the first artifact of the archmage.
.PP
Two paths lie ahead of you.
.PP
One is through the Swamp of Sorrows. It is the most direct route and will get you to the Pinky's monastery the quickest. But it is also the most dangerous. For the swamp is full of Dreadlights, Bog Rot, and Oneirophants.
.PP
The more circuitous route is also the safer option. It will take you around the swamp, through the Trollfen, and over Turtle Mound. A longer journey, but one less fraught with danger.
.PP
WHAT DO YOU DO
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.Heading STUX
.LP
I look at the rest of the party
.PP
"What do you all think? I'm no ranger, I don't know much about the wilderness. I'm not afraid to take the quick route, but I also see the wisdom in the more cautious approach".
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.Heading KRUNN
.IP 1. 3n
Who are you?
.PP
Me Krunn with club who go BONK!
.IP 2. 3n
Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?
.PP
They too have club go BONK!
.IP 3. 3n
What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands?
.PP
Big thing with big bite that ouch.
.IP 4. 3n
What evidence have you seen of demonic presence?
.PP
Big foot that wide as arms.
.IP 5. 3n
How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?
.PP
Eat drink sleep
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.Heading KRUNN
.LP
Krunn say go swamp more to thing to BONK.
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.Heading DOZENS
.LP
The story thus far: you are on a mission to re-assemble the Staff of
the Archmage and seal the Bloodmoon Gate to prevent the Demon Horde
from sweeping across the Silver Yonder. The first piece of the staff
is in the possession of the Pinky somewhere in the Flooded Lands.
.PP
There is a long footbridge of rotten, moldy, wooden planks that leads
out across the fetid water. You follow it into the Swamp of Sorrows.
.PP
The swamp is putrid. Almost nauseatingly smelly. A thick carpet of orange algae undulates with the rippling of the water beneath it. Pockets of swamp gas escape the mud far below and belch noisily when they reach the surface. Clouds of insects float above the water, and nip at you as you pass by. Large swamp trees grow here, with gnarled, twisted roots. Moss and thick vines hang from the branches and block your view. Between the trees, in the distance, you can see sulphurous yellow dreadlights bobbing up and down, just waiting to lure an unwitting traveler out into the waters.
.PP
Just up ahead, a large portion of the bridge has collapsed. About as far across as a wide road. You look down and see five or eight emaciated, milky white bodies floating suspended in the water below you. Their eyes are closed and their skin is pulled taught across their bones. Their hair spreads out like a halo around their heads. These are Oneirophants, slumbering prisoners of the swamp. If you're lucky, they won't bother you. If you disturb their slumber though,
they may try to pull you down into the swamp to join them.
.PP
WHAT DO YOU DO?
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.Heading GLARG
.LP
A few paces left of the entrance to the collapsed bridge is what appears to be a boulder with an arm sticking out the side of it. It seems to give off a very faint hum.
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.Heading KRUNN
.LP
Tell Stux and little gnome to stand back. Krunn will roll boulder cause Krunn strong.
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.Heading GLARG
.LP
As you study the boulder you notice the arm protruding from it is made of the same burnt umber stone as the rest of the boulder... peculiar because the ground around it is... well, swamp coloured.
.PP
The boulder begins to visibly vibrate. At first faint, but then as if a stampeed of horses was going on around it.
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.Heading KRUNN
.LP
Stux what we do ? It might be woo woo magic. Krunn slowly backs away waiting for Stux or the gnomes reply.
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.KS
.Heading STUX
.LP
Hmmmm... Something strange is going on here. I'm going to put on my sunglasses of true sight and see if anything becomes obvious.
.KE
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.Heading GLARG
.LP
Through the sunglasses you can see the outline of a large bulky humanoid curled up into a tight ball with its arm sticking out.
.PP
All of a sudden, with a loud, deep crack, the leg dislodges itself from the ball and starts kicking the ground. Now the boulder is rocking back-and-forth in place with the leg kicking the ground when it gets close.
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.Heading STUX
.LP
"Hey Krunn, its BONKING TIME! Somtimes you gotta BONK first and ask questions when they regain conscienceness"
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.Heading KRUNN
.LP
With a solemn nod to Stux, Krunn raises his club over his head with both hands and runs at the rock. BONK!
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.Heading DOZENS
.LP
While Stux and Krunn were fussing around with the leggy one-armed
boulder, you inadvertently attracted the attention of the swamp's
least desirable denizens.
.PP
Three oneirophants\*[-]the lanky, clammy, pale drowned creatures who
sleep at the bottom of the swamp\*[-]have crawled up onto the pier.
They slither around on their bellies grinning and grabbing at your
ankles.
.PP
"Come swim with us!" says the one with no teeth.
.PP
"Yes, come sleep under water!" agrees the one with far too many
teeth.
.PP
"Such sights you will see!"
.PP
"Yes, such wonders!"
.PP
The third oneirophant's mouth is sewn shut so you have no idea whether or not it has an appropriate number of teeth. It is awkwardly fumbling around with the ankle of the humanoid boulder but seems incapable of getting a hold of it with its cold slippery hand. It looks frustrated and uncomfortable.
.PP
One of the bobbing dreadlights\*[-]alerted to your presence by the commotion\*[-]weaves its way over to the pier and shines brightly in your eyes so that you have to squint.
.PP
"hEy dO YoU YoU WaNt tO SeE A WeIrD TuRtLe?" says the dreadlight. "iT'S RiGhT OvEr hErE, fOlLoW Me. It's rEaLlY WeIrD. yOu gOtTa sEe iT."
.PP
WHAT DO YOU DO?
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.Heading KRUNN
.LP
Krunn BONKS! one of the oneirophants that talks to much.
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.Heading GLARG
.LP
.PP
**CRACK** another arm pops out of the side of the boulder. Now the fingers on the hand of the first arm are starting to move. The boulder rocks back and forth, pivoting around where it's fourth leg should be.
.PP
The mass suddenly stops wiggling as the oneirophants start talking. It then looks at one clawing at its leg. It bends over at the middle forming a waist until its head is about a foot from the dreadlights. It opens its mouth indentation and makes a noise clearly not coming from its throat, but somewhere deep within it, a noise that sounds deep, gutteral, cosmic, and earthy.
.PP
"ggglllaaaAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!"
.PP
It moves its arm down towards the oneirophant in an attempt to grab it and throw it back into the lake.
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.Heading DOZENS
.LP
The oneirophant slithers around on its belly, grinning up at you with its sharp little pointy teeth and its large wet eyes.
.PP
"Come sleep and swim with us!" it hisses at you. "You can be like a shark! Sleeping and swimming with one eye open and\*[-]ACK!"
.PP
.PP
Meanwhile Glarg is glarging out super hard. As the oneirophant tries in vain to grab your ankle, you in turn wrap your giant rocky fist around its entire torso and lift it up. It hisses and slither wriggles in your grasp. You squeeze a little too tightly, and it pops out of your grasp like a slippery fish. You comically juggle it a few times, squeezing and shooting it from your fist. Until finally it flops onto the pier, and back into the water.
.PP
The remaining oneirophants make rude faces and wag their fingers at you, disgusted at your inhospitable behavior. And they too slither off the side of the pier.
.PP
Only the dreadlight remains, bobbing up and down in the air. It is a small orb of light about the size of your fist. It glows a sulphurous yellow a couple arm lengths away from the pier, hovering over the water.
.PP
It buzzes as it speaks in a slightly muffled, undulating voice, "tHeRe's a tUrTlE OuT HeRe tHaT Is tOtAlLy wEiRd. It's lIkE, yOu wOuLdN'T EvEn bElIeVe iT. yOu'vE GoT To cOmE SeE ThIs wEiRd tUrTlE, c'mOn."
.PP
Meanwhile, your way forward is still blocked by the washed out bridge.
.PP
WHAT DO YOU DO
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.Heading GLARG
.LP
Glarg squints its eye indents at the the dreadlight. Mistaking it for a shiny rock, it walks on to the pier in attempt to grab it.
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.Heading KRUNN
.LP
Krunn like blinky light too. Krunn also like turtle. YUM! Krunn follows
Glarg.
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.Heading DOZENS
.LP
Glarg grabs at the dreadlight.
.PP
"WHoA ThErE BuDdY!" cries the dreadlight as it dances away,
tantalizingly just out of your grasp, luring you closer and closer to
the edge of the pier. "lEt's nOt bE So gRaBbY OkAy bIg gUy? I CaN'T
ShOw yOu tHiS WeIrD TuRtLe iF I'M AlL CaPtUrEd aNd sTuFf! aNd tHaT
WoUlD Be sAd wOuLdN'T It? FoR ThErE To bE ThIs tOtAlLy wEiRd tUrTlE,
aNd nObOdY GeTs tO SeE It?"
.PP
Krunn sees Glarg grasp repeatedly at the annoying, bobbing light.
Finally, inevitably, they overextend themself and start to lose their
balance, teetering on the edge of the pier.
.PP
And then\*[-]KerSPLASH!!\*[-]down they go.
.PP
Glarg floats like a stone in the water. Which is to say, not at all.
A gleeful oneirophant burbles with delight as you sink past,
"Yes! Haha, yessssss!", and finally you come to rest in the mud at
the bottom of the swamp.
.PP
The surface of the water is only five or six feet out of your reach.
.PP
You notice that you came to rest near a large, smooth, oblong,
patterned stone. And as you watch, the stone opens along its seam
and a large, striped turtle head pokes out and looks at you
curiously. Then a second striped head emerges from the shell! The
second head continues to regard you while the first one extends its
neck and experimentally nibbles on your arm with a gentle bite.
.PP
WHAT DO YOU DO
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.Heading STUX
.LP
Suddenly you see a rope peirce the surface of the water and make it's way to
you. You grab on to it, and someone starts pulling you out. You notice it
feels too soft to be a rope, and it's full of knots.
.PP
As you come out of the water you see the warlock Stux pulling you to shore.
That's when you finally see that the "rope" is actually a series of brightly
colored hankerchiefs tied together.
.PP
Stux says:
"Guys, I have a confession to make. I didn't exactly tell you the whole truth
about myself. You see, I am a warlock, but I'm a party warlock. Like kids
parties. My deity is Bozo The Clown. I really do have magic, but it's not the
cool or useful kind."
.PP
He looks down at his feet.
"I just wanted to feel cool, like a real adventurer and not a 38 year old
party entertainer that live's in his grandmother's basement"
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.Heading CREMINI
.LP
"Did someone say magic and parties?" says a giggling voice from somewhere under
the pier. A small round head wearing a flat hat with pops out from among the
algae and rocks to peer curiously at Stux with beady black eyes. It smiles
softly at the party warlock. "Entertainers are cool! Are you holding a party?
That's useful for having fun!"
.PP
The round head clambers up to the surface, it becomes clear that the brown flat
hat is in fact the top of the stubby creature's head. It is also apparent that
they have no arms and legs (or at least no visible appendages), but it manages
to wobble closer until it is standing about a warlock's arm's length away.
.PP
"This one is Cremini!" It beams. "What a wonderful day for a poolside party!"
.PP
It turns to the water and begins to blow bubbles along the surface of the
swamp from the top of its head.
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.Heading GLARG
.LP
Glarg looks at, what it perceives to be, a talking rock. Glarg picks up
Cremini and holds it close to its bosom turn to look down at the lake
and rumbles:
.PP
"Twaarrrrr-taaaal"
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.Heading CREMINI
.LP
The talking mushroom rock\*[-]or is it a rock mushroom?\*[-]giggles when Glarg
picks it up. "You're very strong!" It exclaims. They look downwards at the
lake as well. "Turtles all the way down!"
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.Heading DOZENS
.LP
recap:
.PP
the Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again and harbingers of
the Demon Horde have been seen in the Silver Yonder. Your mission is
to recover the Five Artifacts and reassemble the Staff of the
Archmage, the legendary weapon that can seal the demon gate forever.
You are currently in the Swamp of Sorrows seeking the Pinky, guardian
of the first artifact.
.PP
And now:
.PP
Stux the party warlock fishes Glarg out of the swamp.
.PP
Glarg picks up Cremini, the small agreeable mushroom creature whose
rock content is currently unknown.
.PP
Krunn assesses the landscape for potential things to bonk.
.PP
The swamp water bubbles, froths, and churns. As though summoned by
the Glarg's words, a two-headed turtle of enormous girth breaches the
surface.
.PP
Its shell is black and covered in spiraling geodesic patterns. Its
heads are also black, and have colorful stripes that run from behind
their eyes along the back of their heads and necks.
.PP
You think that if you play this right and pacify the turtle somehow
with your unique skills and talents, that it might ferry you across
the washed out bridge to the other side.
.PP
The dreadlight bobs up and down excitedly, "oH HeCk yEaH LoOk aT
ThAt tUrTlE! oH MaN It iS So wEiRd hAhA! hAhA, wHeEeEe!"
.PP
WHAT DO YOU DO?
.
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.Heading KRUNN
.LP
Stux even though you party lock I still your friend and won't bonk you. Krunn
like to party. Krunn sees turtle and licks lips. He decides not to BONK!
turtle but to use ancient barbarian turtle charming technique. He starts to
play drums on his club.
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.Heading CREMINI
.LP
From its cozy nook in Glarg's arms, Cremini bobs its small rock-y head to the
beat of Krunn's club drums. They send tiny bubbles floating in the air towards
the turtle with light popping sounds in sync with the rhythm.
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.Heading GLARG
.LP
Glarg is vibin~~
.PP
It feels moved to "sing". A sound emminated from it that is reminiscent
of an inactive volcano trying to sing the A-B-Cs to the beat of the
Krunn's drum.
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.Heading DOZENS
.LP
The party starts ROCKING OUT.
.PP
It is a total raver!
.PP
Krunn is drumming, Glarg is singing, Cremini is blowing bubbles. And
Stux the Party Warlock is doing all kinds of cool party tricks.
Making balloon animals. They even managed to produce a small
xylophone from somewhere and are banging out a jaunty melody with a
tiny mallet.
.PP
The giant, two-headed turtle freezes in place. Both heads regard
you, wide-eyed and silent. And then they both start bobbing up and
down in time to the music.
.PP
After the performance, the giant, obsidian turtle drifts over to the
edge of the pier. You climb aboard, and continue to party hard and
rock out as the creature happily ferries you safely across the swamp.
.PP
The dreadlight, still bobbing up and down in place, cries out, "oMg
tHaT Is sO SiCk! HaHa wHaT A WeIrD TuRtLe! YoU GuYs aRe tOtAlLy
cRaZy!"
.PP
You land on the other side and de-turtle, climbing out onto the slick
grass and mud of the far shore. The turtle sinks back into the swamp
with a small smile on each of its faces and settles down into the mud
for a long nap.
.PP
You follow the path through the swamp and eventually come to a
large-ish clearing. It is a small glade full of silvery blades of
grass. It is full of eviscerated gilpins\*[-]small swamp gnomes that
kind of resemble fish-like bunny rabbits; it is kind of unfair how
cute they are\*[-]strewn about in piles and pieces. The center of the
glade is completely clean and clear of the gore that fills the rest
of the space. It is empty except for a circle of small toadstools,
in the center of which sits a tiny black cat which looks up at you
with huge round yellow eyes. It mewls pathetically and rolls on its
back.
.PP
WHAT DO YOU DO
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.Heading KRUNN
.LP
Krunn looks sternly at the cat. "Why you kill all gnome thing? You going to
get a BONK for that. Bad Kitty!" Krunn walks toward the black cat with his
club raised. Ready to BONK it.
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.Heading GLARG
.LP
Glarg, is new to being around fleshy lifeforms. It is left assuming that
the gilpins must've gotten carried away while playing and fallen apart.
It clumsily tries to put one back together and wait for it to turn back
on.
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.Heading CREMINI
.LP
Spotting the toadstools, Cremini sends out tiny pink bubbles that land on each
toadstool's head in some convoluted pattern that may as well be random were it
not for the *blip bloop* sounds. Like a chipmunk's tune, with only 8 bits.
.
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.Heading DOZENS
.LP
Cremini blows some tiny pink bubbles and plays some dope toadstool
chiptune. The toadstools light up in a neon pastel pattern of bright
pinks and yellows and blues and purples. You can't help but think
that the dreadlight would think this is tOtAlLy aWeSoMe.
.PP
Glarg puzzles over a few gilpin pieces and clumsily tries to assemble
them. They end up with a cluster of two or three torsos and a few
too many limbs jutting out at odd angles. Almost as an afterthought
they thrust a head into its center. It is a furry, scaly, rabbity,
fishy abomination. They set it down on the ground and make some
coaxing, pleading sounds at it. It sounds like smooth river rocks
rubbing against each other.
.PP
Krunn severely scolds and chastises the very bad kitty! In reply, it
rolls onto its side and does a big streeeeeeetch, clawing at the
ground and doing a cute meow-purr.
.PP
Krunn crosses into the toadstool circle and the small cat leaps to
its feet, arches its back and hisses and spits at the sudden
intrusion. It backs away but doesn't leave the circle, and soon it
is cornered, and Krunn gives it a solid BONK right on the head,
leaving a small gash across the top of its head. It falls to the
ground in a heap and doesn't move.
.PP
The toadstools audibly exhale, and a pinkish cloud of spores engulf
the cat. It yowls and jumps up and puffs up to an enormous size.
Its eyes bulge. And its warping, twisting bones outgrow their fleshy
enclosure, starting at the skull where Krunn split it. When its
transformation is complete, a huge skeletal beast with a mane of
black fur across its shoulders stands inside the mushroom circle. It
roars, baring its long fangs, and swipes at Krunn with its sharp
boney claws!
.PP
The spores waft throughout the glade. A few of them drift over and
land on the flesh golem Glarg made of gilpin pieces. They seep into
its skin and its eyes shoot open. It looks around in apparent
confusion, gasps for air, and moans. It cautiously reaches out to
Glarg with its tangle of limbs. "Ma... Ma?"
.PP
Crimini notices that\*[-]although they have stopped making music at
this point\*[-]the toadstools continue to pulse weakly but rhythmically
in a repeating pattern of colors.
.PP
WHAT DO YOU DO?
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.Heading GLARG
.LP
Glarg is delighted that the flesh elemental has reanimated! It looks
over its shoulder and is alarmed by the new calcium/keratin elemental that
appeared out of nowhere. It picks up Jr, the flesh elemental, and puts
it in the crook of its left arm while shifting Crimini to the right, and
slowly backs backs away towards the entrance to the grove.
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.Heading CREMINI
.LP
"Oops. Should've started with a demo cut. Hee hee." says Cremini from the crook
of Glarg's arm. It emits a few more teeny green bubbles towards the toadstools,
just for a few opening notes of an adagio to float out. A midi playing on air.
.
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.Heading KRUNN
.LP
Wide eyed, Krunn takes a few steps back. "Krunn sorry for BONK. Maybe we
can be friends" Kronn says. He reaches into his belt pouch and pulls out a
piece of yarn. "Look kitty I have to for you." he says as he dangles it in
front of the monster cat.
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.Heading DOZENS
.LP
Krunn entices the skelebeast with a piece of yarn. It stops and
cocks its head to the side. It flops onto its side, and bats at the
end of string with one big skeletal paw. Its long tail swishes back
and forth in a wide arc.
.PP
Glarg backs up with Jr in one arm and Cremini in the other. They
notice a cylindrical item rattling around inside the beast's rib
cage. It is the size of a small torch, or some kind of baton, or
maybe a large rolled up scroll. It seems to be made of some kind of
a dull silvery metal.
.PP
Cremini blows a few tiny green bubbles. The toadstools bop out a
little melody.
.PP
Jr, the gilpin flesh elemental, smiles happily and groans, and waves
their arms around in time with the toadstool song.
.PP
WHAT DO YOU DO
.
.
.
.Heading CREMINI
.LP
Following Glarg's line of sight, Cremini squints at the skelekat's ribs, "Hey,
party people! What's that inside the skele? Could it be a treasure map? Should
we ask it for a looksie?"
.Heading GLARG
.LP
"DRaaagaaaarMArrrrrb?"
.PP
Glarg squints its eye sockets at the mineral/protein elemental. It puts
Cremini down gently and then carefully balances Jr on top of his "hat."
.PP
He then starts a sprint/gallop on all fours, faster than you might
expect a sentient boulder to move. Its goal is to climb the elemental
and grab the curly rock trapped inside.
.PP
It tries to communicate in one of the common elemental language that its
here to help disloge the foreign body from the chest cavity, which
sounds a little like:
.QP
+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:[\:>\:+\:>\:+\:+\:+\:>\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:>\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:<\:<\:<\:<\:-\:]\:>\:>\:>\:+\:+\:+\:.\:<\:+\:+\:.\:>\:>\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:<\:<\:.\:>\:>\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:<\:<\:.\:>\:>\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:<\:<\:.\:>\:>\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:<\:<\:.\:>\:>\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:<\:<\:.\:>\:>\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:<\:<\:.\:>\:>\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:-\:.\:<\:<\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:+\:.\:

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# BLOODMOON GATE
https://tilde.town/~dozens/townies-and-taverns.html
---
this is a roleplaying game that we are playing on the town mailing list

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---
title: "Townies & Taverns"
description: "A silly little role-playing game"
created: 2023-02-13
updated: 2023-03-25
---
Townies & Taverns is an experimental freeform role-playing game taking place on the `list+town@tilde.town` mailing list (internal only).
It started when ~mhj asked the following question:
::: { .pc .mhj }
What are some good play by email games? It would also be cool to do a play by email dungeons and dragons campaign maybe? I dunno how that would work, but yeah...
:::
::: { .dm .dozens }
oh snap guess what, it's already happening
~
Defeating the demon hordes and sealing the Bloodmoon Gate was King Ardan's greatest accomplishment. Afterward, he shattered the Staff of the Archmage into five pieces and flung them to the farthest regions of the Silver Yonder to ensure that the foul gate would remain closed forever.
Each of the five pieces of the staff were entrusted to one of Ardan's most faithful warriors. They developed over the years into five powerful, secretive sects. Together, they are known as the Hand.
The years that followed the closing of the gate were ones of peace and prosperity. Generations were born and grew old during Ardan's reign. Such was the fey-touched king's lifespan elongated. The terrors of the Demon Plague soon faded into legend.
Now, fools and villains have meddled where they ought not. And the Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again. Imps, gremlins, and other minor demons---harbingers of the demon horde---have been spotted causing mischief throughout the Yonder.
The king, now wizened and enfeebled, has assembled his greatest and mightiest adventurers to recover the lost pieces of the Staff of the Archmage. For only its power can save the Silver Yonder from the demon hordes.
Unfortunately they never came back.
So now the king's quest has fallen to you! The kingdom's second
greatest and mightiest adventurers! You must not fail!
~
You are at The Famous Shrub, one of the busiest taverns in Woodhome. And tonight is your last night in town before heading into the Flooded Lands to confront the clan of barbarians known as the Pinky and recover the first artifact.
1. Who are you?
2. Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?
3. What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands?
4. What evidence have you seen of demonic presence?
5. How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?
:::
::: { .pc .stux }
Oh, sounds like fun!
1. I am Stux RowHammer, nearly renowned worlock
2. The Pinky are rumored to have a weapon able to destroy entire
villages. No one's ever seen it or seen proof of it, but it's so
scary that no one's every questions it
3. None have ever returned to tell what dark beasts stalk that land
4. I spend it enjoying food and games with my family
Did I do that right?
:::
::: pc
> 1. Who are you?
oh! oh dear, i figured we'd met already, but i understand if you didn't se--hey! down here! please watch where you step! gnomes don't have very strong bones you know. my name is tato, the illusion! i enjoy card tricks, and making people disappear
...
ME I MEAN. PAY NO HEED TO THE RUMORS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD
> 2. Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?
like my good friend stux mentioned, it is rumo--huh, what do you mean you don't know me either? i've followed you for weeks now
no matter
the destruction of entire villages is actually only the second scariest trick this weapon this is proof enough for me, it's just science! but to be fully rigorous, i sought to investigate further
upon discovering the author and asking where these visions came from, the author replied "hell awaits you for breaking into my house at this hour!", which i believe refers to the coming demonic invasion
> 5. How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?
woodhome means a lot to me, so i will check in with all of my friends!
none of them are much the speaking type, i do not believe any of them have ever spoken a word to me! but their company comforts me nonetheless
:::
::: dm
When the world was young, the bountiful earth and the hungry sea fell in love with each other from a distance. The earth would make eyes at the sea, and the sea would bashfully wave. They agreed to meet face to face to consummate their love, and the waters rose up and flooded the land. When the great flood receded, the devastation was total. Great cities were erased. Entire civilizations were wiped out. When they saw what they had done in their carelessness, earth and sea agreed that, though their love may continue to burn, they must never see each other again.
But see each other they did. Quietly and discreetly, their passions held in check by the fear of losing control once more.
The Flooded Lands are the last place where earth and sea mingle. Endless bogs, wetlands, swamps, and marshes. Neither the children of the earth nor the children of the sea are entirely at home here. Rather, this is home to those born of the flood. Things made of mud and clay. Slimy, scaley things with and fur and gills.
Your goal here is to find the Pinky, Ardan's champion, and recover
the first artifact of the archmage.
Two paths lie ahead of you.
One is through the Swamp of Sorrows. It is the most direct route and will get you to the Pinky's monastery the quickest. But it is also the most dangerous. For the swamp is full of Dreadlights, Bog Rot, and Oneirophants.
The more circuitous route is also the safer option. It will take you around the swamp, through the Trollfen, and over Turtle Mound. A longer journey, but one less fraught with danger.
WHAT DO YOU DO
:::
::: { .pc .stux }
I look at the rest of the party
"What do you all think? I'm no ranger, I don't know much about the wilderness. I'm not afraid to take the quick route, but I also see the wisdom in the more cautious approach".
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
1. Who are you?
Me Krunn with club who go BONK!
2. Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?
They too have club go BONK!
3. What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands?
Big thing with big bite that ouch.
4. What evidence have you seen of demonic presence?
Big foot that wide as arms.
5. How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?
Eat drink sleep
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
Krunn say go swamp more to thing to BONK.
:::
::: dm
The story thus far: you are on a mission to re-assemble the Staff of the Archmage and seal the Bloodmoon Gate to prevent the Demon Horde from sweeping across the Silver Yonder. The first piece of the staff is in the possession of the Pinky somewhere in the Flooded Lands.
~
There is a long footbridge of rotten, moldy, wooden planks that leads out across the fetid water. You follow it into the Swamp of Sorrows.
The swamp is putrid. Almost nauseatingly smelly. A thick carpet of orange algae undulates with the rippling of the water beneath it. Pockets of swamp gas escape the mud far below and belch noisily when they reach the surface. Clouds of insects float above the water, and nip at you as you pass by. Large swamp trees grow here, with gnarled, twisted roots. Moss and thick vines hang from the branches and block your view. Between the trees, in the distance, you can see sulphurous yellow dreadlights bobbing up and down, just waiting to lure an unwitting traveler out into the waters.
Just up ahead, a large portion of the bridge has collapsed. About as far across as a wide road. You look down and see five or eight emaciated, milky white bodies floating suspended in the water below you. Their eyes are closed and their skin is pulled taught across their bones. Their hair spreads out like a halo around their heads. These are Oneirophants, slumbering prisoners of the swamp. If you're lucky, they won't bother you. If you disturb their slumber though,
they may try to pull you down into the swamp to join them.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
A few paces left of the entrance to the collapsed bridge is what appears to be a boulder with an arm sticking out the side of it. It seems to give off a very faint hum.
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
Tell Stux and little gnome to stand back. Krunn will roll boulder cause Krunn strong.
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
As you study the boulder you notice the arm protruding from it is made of the same burnt umber stone as the rest of the boulder... peculiar because the ground around it is... well, swamp coloured.
The boulder begins to visibly vibrate. At first faint, but then as if a stampeed of horses was going on around it.
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
Stux what we do ? It might be woo woo magic. Krunn slowly backs away waiting for Stux or the gnomes reply.
:::
::: { .pc .stux }
Hmmmm... Something strange is going on here. I'm going to put on my sunglasses of true sight and see if anything becomes obvious.
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
Through the sunglasses you can see the outline of a large bulky humanoid curled up into a tight ball with its arm sticking out.
All of a sudden, with a loud, deep crack, the leg dislodges itself from the ball and starts kicking the ground. Now the boulder is rocking back-and-forth in place with the leg kicking the ground when it gets close.
:::
::: { .pc .stux }
"Hey Krunn, its BONKING TIME! Somtimes you gotta BONK first and ask questions when they regain conscienceness"
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
With a solemn nod to Stux, Krunn raises his club over his head with both hands and runs at the rock. BONK!
:::
::: dm
While Stux and Krunn were fussing around with the leggy one-armed
boulder, you inadvertently attracted the attention of the swamp's
least desirable denizens.
Three oneirophants---the lanky, clammy, pale drowned creatures who
sleep at the bottom of the swamp---have crawled up onto the pier.
They slither around on their bellies grinning and grabbing at your
ankles.
"Come swim with us!" says the one with no teeth.
"Yes, come sleep under water!" agrees the one with far too many
teeth.
"Such sights you will see!"
"Yes, such wonders!"
The third oneirophant's mouth is sewn shut so you have no idea whether or not it has an appropriate number of teeth. It is awkwardly fumbling around with the ankle of the humanoid boulder but seems incapable of getting a hold of it with its cold slippery hand. It looks frustrated and uncomfortable.
One of the bobbing dreadlights---alerted to your presence by the commotion---weaves its way over to the pier and shines brightly in your eyes so that you have to squint.
"hEy dO YoU YoU WaNt tO SeE A WeIrD TuRtLe?" says the dreadlight. "iT'S RiGhT OvEr hErE, fOlLoW Me. It's rEaLlY WeIrD. yOu gOtTa sEe iT."
WHAT DO YOU DO?
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
Krunn BONKS! one of the oneirophants that talks to much.
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
After Krunn BONKS the boulder, its shaking slows to a rumble and then stops. Then **CRACK**; a squat hemisphere pops out of the top of the boulder. The hemisphere rotates 180 degrees. As the... head?... completes its rotation, what appears to be crude facial feature become visible, like a sculpter was making the rough draft of a head in clay.
**CRACK** another arm pops out of the side of the boulder. Now the fingers on the hand of the first arm are starting to move. The boulder rocks back and forth, pivoting around where it's fourth leg should be.
The mass suddenly stops wiggling as the oneirophants start talking. It then looks at one clawing at its leg. It bends over at the middle forming a waist until its head is about a foot from the dreadlights. It opens its mouth indentation and makes a noise clearly not coming from its throat, but somewhere deep within it, a noise that sounds deep, gutteral, cosmic, and earthy.
"ggglllaaaAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!"
It moves its arm down towards the oneirophant in an attempt to grab it and throw it back into the lake.
:::
::: dm
The oneirophant slithers around on its belly, grinning up at you with its sharp little pointy teeth and its large wet eyes.
"Come sleep and swim with us!" it hisses at you. "You can be like a shark! Sleeping and swimming with one eye open and---ACK!"
Krunn BONKS the talkative oneirophant right on its noggin. Its skull makes a squishy sound and flattens---ejecting a surprising amount of water---and slowly, slowly returns to its normal shape like a sponge. It looks up at Krunn, insulted and cross-eyed and kind of lopsided, and slinks away off the side of the pier and back into the swamp with a plop.
Meanwhile Glarg is glarging out super hard. As the oneirophant tries in vain to grab your ankle, you in turn wrap your giant rocky fist around its entire torso and lift it up. It hisses and slither wriggles in your grasp. You squeeze a little too tightly, and it pops out of your grasp like a slippery fish. You comically juggle it a few times, squeezing and shooting it from your fist. Until finally it flops onto the pier, and back into the water.
The remaining oneirophants make rude faces and wag their fingers at you, disgusted at your inhospitable behavior. And they too slither off the side of the pier.
Only the dreadlight remains, bobbing up and down in the air. It is a small orb of light about the size of your fist. It glows a sulphurous yellow a couple arm lengths away from the pier, hovering over the water.
It buzzes as it speaks in a slightly muffled, undulating voice, "tHeRe's a tUrTlE OuT HeRe tHaT Is tOtAlLy wEiRd. It's lIkE, yOu wOuLdN'T EvEn bElIeVe iT. yOu'vE GoT To cOmE SeE ThIs wEiRd tUrTlE, c'mOn."
Meanwhile, your way forward is still blocked by the washed out bridge.
WHAT DO YOU DO
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
Glarg squints its eye indents at the the dreadlight. Mistaking it for a shiny rock, it walks on to the pier in attempt to grab it.
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
Krunn like blinky light too. Krunn also like turtle. YUM! Krunn follows
Glarg.
:::
::: dm
Glarg grabs at the dreadlight.
"WHoA ThErE BuDdY!" cries the dreadlight as it dances away,
tantalizingly just out of your grasp, luring you closer and closer to
the edge of the pier. "lEt's nOt bE So gRaBbY OkAy bIg gUy? I CaN'T
ShOw yOu tHiS WeIrD TuRtLe iF I'M AlL CaPtUrEd aNd sTuFf! aNd tHaT
WoUlD Be sAd wOuLdN'T It? FoR ThErE To bE ThIs tOtAlLy wEiRd tUrTlE,
aNd nObOdY GeTs tO SeE It?"
Krunn sees Glarg grasp repeatedly at the annoying, bobbing light.
Finally, inevitably, they overextend themself and start to lose their
balance, teetering on the edge of the pier.
And then--KerSPLASH!!--down they go.
Glarg floats like a stone in the water. Which is to say, not at all.
A gleeful oneirophant burbles with delight as you sink past,
"Yes! Haha, yessssss!", and finally you come to rest in the mud at
the bottom of the swamp.
The surface of the water is only five or six feet out of your reach.
You notice that you came to rest near a large, smooth, oblong,
patterned stone. And as you watch, the stone opens along its seam
and a large, striped turtle head pokes out and looks at you
curiously. Then a second striped head emerges from the shell! The
second head continues to regard you while the first one extends its
neck and experimentally nibbles on your arm with a gentle bite.
WHAT DO YOU DO
:::
::: { .pc .stux }
Suddenly you see a rope peirce the surface of the water and make it's way to
you. You grab on to it, and someone starts pulling you out. You notice it
feels too soft to be a rope, and it's full of knots.
As you come out of the water you see the warlock Stux pulling you to shore.
That's when you finally see that the "rope" is actually a series of brightly
colored hankerchiefs tied together.
Stux says:
"Guys, I have a confession to make. I didn't exactly tell you the whole truth
about myself. You see, I am a warlock, but I'm a party warlock. Like kids
parties. My deity is Bozo The Clown. I really do have magic, but it's not the
cool or useful kind."
He looks down at his feet.
"I just wanted to feel cool, like a real adventurer and not a 38 year old
party entertainer that live's in his grandmother's basement"
:::
::: { .pc .cremini }
"Did someone say magic and parties?" says a giggling voice from somewhere under
the pier. A small round head wearing a flat hat with pops out from among the
algae and rocks to peer curiously at Stux with beady black eyes. It smiles
softly at the party warlock. "Entertainers are cool! Are you holding a party?
That's useful for having fun!"
The round head clambers up to the surface, it becomes clear that the brown flat
hat is in fact the top of the stubby creature's head. It is also apparent that
they have no arms and legs (or at least no visible appendages), but it manages
to wobble closer until it is standing about a warlock's arm's length away.
"This one is Cremini!" It beams. "What a wonderful day for a poolside party!"
It turns to the water and begins to blow bubbles along the surface of the
swamp from the top of its head.
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
Glarg looks at, what it perceives to be, a talking rock. Glarg picks up
Cremini and holds it close to its bosom turn to look down at the lake
and rumbles:
"Twaarrrrr-taaaal"
:::
::: { .pc .cremini }
The talking mushroom rock — or is it a rock mushroom? — giggles when Glarg
picks it up. "You're very strong!" It exclaims. They look downwards at the
lake as well. "Turtles all the way down!"
:::
::: dm
recap:
the Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again and harbingers of
the Demon Horde have been seen in the Silver Yonder. Your mission is
to recover the Five Artifacts and reassemble the Staff of the
Archmage, the legendary weapon that can seal the demon gate forever.
You are currently in the Swamp of Sorrows seeking the Pinky, guardian
of the first artifact.
And now:
Stux the party warlock fishes Glarg out of the swamp.
Glarg picks up Cremini, the small agreeable mushroom creature whose
rock content is currently unknown.
Krunn assesses the landscape for potential things to bonk.
The swamp water bubbles, froths, and churns. As though summoned by
the Glarg's words, a two-headed turtle of enormous girth breaches the
surface.
Its shell is black and covered in spiraling geodesic patterns. Its
heads are also black, and have colorful stripes that run from behind
their eyes along the back of their heads and necks.
You think that if you play this right and pacify the turtle somehow
with your unique skills and talents, that it might ferry you across
the washed out bridge to the other side.
The dreadlight bobs up and down excitedly, "oH HeCk yEaH LoOk aT
ThAt tUrTlE! oH MaN It iS So wEiRd hAhA! hAhA, wHeEeEe!"
WHAT DO YOU DO?
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
Stux even though you party lock I still your friend and won't bonk you. Krunn
like to party. Krunn sees turtle and licks lips. He decides not to BONK!
turtle but to use ancient barbarian turtle charming technique. He starts to
play drums on his club.
:::
::: { .pc .cremini }
From its cozy nook in Glarg's arms, Cremini bobs its small rock-y head to the
beat of Krunn's club drums. They send tiny bubbles floating in the air towards
the turtle with light popping sounds in sync with the rhythm.
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
Glarg is vibin~~
It feels moved to "sing". A sound emminated from it that is reminiscent
of an inactive volcano trying to sing the A-B-Cs to the beat of the
Krunn's drum.
:::
::: dm
The party starts ROCKING OUT.
It is a total raver!
Krunn is drumming, Glarg is singing, Cremini is blowing bubbles. And
Stux the Party Warlock is doing all kinds of cool party tricks.
Making balloon animals. They even managed to produce a small
xylophone from somewhere and are banging out a jaunty melody with a
tiny mallet.
The giant, two-headed turtle freezes in place. Both heads regard
you, wide-eyed and silent. And then they both start bobbing up and
down in time to the music.
After the performance, the giant, obsidian turtle drifts over to the
edge of the pier. You climb aboard, and continue to party hard and
rock out as the creature happily ferries you safely across the swamp.
The dreadlight, still bobbing up and down in place, cries out, "oMg
tHaT Is sO SiCk! HaHa wHaT A WeIrD TuRtLe! YoU GuYs aRe tOtAlLy
cRaZy!"
You land on the other side and de-turtle, climbing out onto the slick
grass and mud of the far shore. The turtle sinks back into the swamp
with a small smile on each of its faces and settles down into the mud
for a long nap.
You follow the path through the swamp and eventually come to a
large-ish clearing. It is a small glade full of silvery blades of
grass. It is full of eviscerated gilpins---small swamp gnomes that
kind of resemble fish-like bunny rabbits; it is kind of unfair how
cute they are---strewn about in piles and pieces. The center of the
glade is completely clean and clear of the gore that fills the rest
of the space. It is empty except for a circle of small toadstools,
in the center of which sits a tiny black cat which looks up at you
with huge round yellow eyes. It mewls pathetically and rolls on its
back.
WHAT DO YOU DO
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
Krunn looks sternly at the cat. "Why you kill all gnome thing? You going to
get a BONK for that. Bad Kitty!" Krunn walks toward the black cat with his
club raised. Ready to BONK it.
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
Glarg, is new to being around fleshy lifeforms. It is left assuming that
the gilpins must've gotten carried away while playing and fallen apart.
It clumsily tries to put one back together and wait for it to turn back
on.
:::
::: { .pc .cremini }
Spotting the toadstools, Cremini sends out tiny pink bubbles that land on each
toadstool's head in some convoluted pattern that may as well be random were it
not for the *blip bloop* sounds. Like a chipmunk's tune, with only 8 bits.
:::
::: dm
Cremini blows some tiny pink bubbles and plays some dope toadstool
chiptune. The toadstools light up in a neon pastel pattern of bright
pinks and yellows and blues and purples. You can't help but think
that the dreadlight would think this is tOtAlLy aWeSoMe.
Glarg puzzles over a few gilpin pieces and clumsily tries to assemble
them. They end up with a cluster of two or three torsos and a few
too many limbs jutting out at odd angles. Almost as an afterthought
they thrust a head into its center. It is a furry, scaly, rabbity,
fishy abomination. They set it down on the ground and make some
coaxing, pleading sounds at it. It sounds like smooth river rocks
rubbing against each other.
Krunn severely scolds and chastises the very bad kitty! In reply, it
rolls onto its side and does a big streeeeeeetch, clawing at the
ground and doing a cute meow-purr.
Krunn crosses into the toadstool circle and the small cat leaps to
its feet, arches its back and hisses and spits at the sudden
intrusion. It backs away but doesn't leave the circle, and soon it
is cornered, and Krunn gives it a solid BONK right on the head,
leaving a small gash across the top of its head. It falls to the
ground in a heap and doesn't move.
The toadstools audibly exhale, and a pinkish cloud of spores engulf
the cat. It yowls and jumps up and puffs up to an enormous size.
Its eyes bulge. And its warping, twisting bones outgrow their fleshy
enclosure, starting at the skull where Krunn split it. When its
transformation is complete, a huge skeletal beast with a mane of
black fur across its shoulders stands inside the mushroom circle. It
roars, baring its long fangs, and swipes at Krunn with its sharp
boney claws!
The spores waft throughout the glade. A few of them drift over and
land on the flesh golem Glarg made of gilpin pieces. They seep into
its skin and its eyes shoot open. It looks around in apparent
confusion, gasps for air, and moans. It cautiously reaches out to
Glarg with its tangle of limbs. "Ma... Ma?"
Crimini notices that---although they have stopped making music at
this point---the toadstools continue to pulse weakly but rhythmically
in a repeating pattern of colors.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
Glarg is delighted that the flesh elemental has reanimated! It looks
over its shoulder and is alarmed by the new calcium/keratin elemental that
appeared out of nowhere. It picks up Jr, the flesh elemental, and puts
it in the crook of its left arm while shifting Crimini to the right, and
slowly backs backs away towards the entrance to the grove.
:::
::: { .pc .cremini }
"Oops. Should've started with a demo cut. Hee hee." says Cremini from the crook
of Glarg's arm. It emits a few more teeny green bubbles towards the toadstools,
just for a few opening notes of an adagio to float out. A midi playing on air.
:::
::: { .pc .krunn }
Wide eyed, Krunn takes a few steps back. "Krunn sorry for BONK. Maybe we
can be friends" Kronn says. He reaches into his belt pouch and pulls out a
piece of yarn. "Look kitty I have to for you." he says as he dangles it in
front of the monster cat.
:::
::: dm
Krunn entices the skelebeast with a piece of yarn. It stops and
cocks its head to the side. It flops onto its side, and bats at the
end of string with one big skeletal paw. Its long tail swishes back
and forth in a wide arc.
Glarg backs up with Jr in one arm and Cremini in the other. They
notice a cylindrical item rattling around inside the beast's rib
cage. It is the size of a small torch, or some kind of baton, or
maybe a large rolled up scroll. It seems to be made of some kind of
a dull silvery metal.
Cremini blows a few tiny green bubbles. The toadstools bop out a
little melody.
Jr, the gilpin flesh elemental, smiles happily and groans, and waves
their arms around in time with the toadstool song.
WHAT DO YOU DO
:::
::: date
Wed, Apr 12 at 8:13 PM
:::
::: { .pc .cremini }
Following Glarg's line of sight, Cremini squints at the skelekat's ribs, "Hey,
party people! What's that inside the skele? Could it be a treasure map? Should
we ask it for a looksie?"
:::
::: { .pc .glarg }
"DRaaagaaaarMArrrrrb?"
Glarg squints its eye sockets at the mineral/protein elemental. It puts
Cremini down gently and then carefully balances Jr on top of his "hat."
He then starts a sprint/gallop on all fours, faster than you might
expect a sentient boulder to move. Its goal is to climb the elemental
and grab the curly rock trapped inside.
It tries to communicate in one of the common elemental language that its
here to help disloge the foreign body from the chest cavity, which
sounds a little like:
```
++++++++++[>+>+++>+++++++>++++++++++<<<<-]>>>+++.<++.>>---.++++++++++++.<<.>>-----.---.+++++++++++++.-------------.<<.>>+++++++++++++++.-----.<<.>>-------.---.+++++++.++++.<<.>>+++++++++.----------.++++++.<<.>>----------------.+++++++.-------.++++++++.--------.+++++++++.++++++.-------------------.+++++++++++.<<.>>------.++++++++++++.---------.----.+++++++++.----------.<<++++++++++++++.
```
:::

7
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# list commands
default:
just --list --unsorted
# build html
html:
pandoc -f markdown -t html5 -s -H style.html -o townies-and-taverns.html emails.txt

72
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%rec: staff
%doc: when the artifacts are assembled to form the Staff of the Archmage, then you may attempt to seal the Bloodmoon Gate
Champion: Pinky
Artifact: Cold Iron Band
Aspect: Moon, Light, Sleep, Dreams
Region: Flooded Lands
Champion: Ringer
Artifact: Rod of Ways
Aspect: Portals, Passages, Doors, Hallways
Region: Rolling Hills
Champion: Tallman
Artifact: Black Iron Band
Aspect: Prison, Banishment, Holding, Obstacles
Region: Iron Mountains
Champion: Pointer
Artifact: Rod of Tricks
Aspect: Disguise, Trickery, Duplicity, Lies
Region: Fell Vale
Champion: Thumb
Artifact: Bloodstone
Aspect: Birth, Life, Change, Beginnings
Region: Maw of Omission
%rec: fronts
%doc: what are the threats in your area
Front: Demon Plague
Description: Hastur the Demon Prince aims to send his armies to ravage the waking world.
Impulse: to spread, to wipe out humanity
Leader: Hastur, the Yellow Prince
Lieutenant: Wilde
Goons:
Opposition: The Hand
Portents:
+ [x] minor demons appear in the silver yonder
+ [ ] the yellow sign is seen throughout the yonder
+ [ ] the Hand is eradicated
+ [ ] the staff of the archmage is assembled
+ [ ] the bloodmoon gate is fully opened
+ [ ] the demon horde is unleashed
Doom: chaos, destruction, apocalypse
Front: Masquerade
Description: Qaanaaq collects party guests as her hoard, and protects them fiercely. She will never let them go. They will dance and dance and dance and dance and dance.
Impulse: to hoard and protect
Leader: Qaanaaq the Faerie Dragon
Lieutenant: Thistledown, Dandelion Knight
Goons: Ayer, Hoy, and Manana
Opposition: ??
Portents:
+ [ ] the door to Fey is opened
+ [ ] widespread dreams of endless dancing
+ [ ] persistant sound of music
+ [ ] fatigue
+ [ ] people start disappearing
+ [ ] the door to Fey is closed
Doom: enslavement
Front: Clavigers
Description: The clavigers are the Key Masters of the universe. They study and catalog every door, portal, and gate in existance.
Impulse: to acquire knowledge, open doors
Leader: Ignatius "Nacho" Polycarp
Lieutenant: Amanda Savage
Goons: Door Wizard, and Key Wizard
Opposition:
Portents:
Doom:

116
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<style>
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}
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.stux::before {
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.stux::after {
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.dm::before {
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right: 0;
text-align: right;
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.glarg {
background: whitesmoke;
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.cremini {
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.cremini::after {
content: '🍄';
}
</style>

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<!DOCTYPE html>
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="" xml:lang="">
<head>
<meta charset="utf-8" />
<meta name="generator" content="pandoc" />
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0, user-scalable=yes" />
<meta name="description" content="A silly little role-playing game" />
<title>Townies &amp; Taverns</title>
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</head>
<body>
<header id="title-block-header">
<h1 class="title">Townies &amp; Taverns</h1>
</header>
<p>Townies &amp; Taverns is an experimental freeform role-playing game
taking place on the <code>list+town@tilde.town</code> mailing list
(internal only).</p>
<p>It started when ~mhj asked the following question:</p>
<div class="pc mhj">
<p>What are some good play by email games? It would also be cool to do a
play by email dungeons and dragons campaign maybe? I dunno how that
would work, but yeah…</p>
</div>
<div class="dm dozens">
<p>oh snap guess what, its already happening</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>Defeating the demon hordes and sealing the Bloodmoon Gate was King
Ardans greatest accomplishment. Afterward, he shattered the Staff of
the Archmage into five pieces and flung them to the farthest regions of
the Silver Yonder to ensure that the foul gate would remain closed
forever.</p>
<p>Each of the five pieces of the staff were entrusted to one of Ardans
most faithful warriors. They developed over the years into five
powerful, secretive sects. Together, they are known as the Hand.</p>
<p>The years that followed the closing of the gate were ones of peace
and prosperity. Generations were born and grew old during Ardans reign.
Such was the fey-touched kings lifespan elongated. The terrors of the
Demon Plague soon faded into legend.</p>
<p>Now, fools and villains have meddled where they ought not. And the
Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again. Imps, gremlins, and other
minor demons—harbingers of the demon horde—have been spotted causing
mischief throughout the Yonder.</p>
<p>The king, now wizened and enfeebled, has assembled his greatest and
mightiest adventurers to recover the lost pieces of the Staff of the
Archmage. For only its power can save the Silver Yonder from the demon
hordes.</p>
<p>Unfortunately they never came back.</p>
<p>So now the kings quest has fallen to you! The kingdoms second
greatest and mightiest adventurers! You must not fail!</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>You are at The Famous Shrub, one of the busiest taverns in Woodhome.
And tonight is your last night in town before heading into the Flooded
Lands to confront the clan of barbarians known as the Pinky and recover
the first artifact.</p>
<ol type="1">
<li><p>Who are you?</p></li>
<li><p>Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?</p></li>
<li><p>What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands?</p></li>
<li><p>What evidence have you seen of demonic presence?</p></li>
<li><p>How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?</p></li>
</ol>
</div>
<div class="pc stux">
<p>Oh, sounds like fun!</p>
<ol type="1">
<li><p>I am Stux RowHammer, nearly renowned worlock</p></li>
<li><p>The Pinky are rumored to have a weapon able to destroy entire
villages. No ones ever seen it or seen proof of it, but its so scary
that no ones every questions it</p></li>
<li><p>None have ever returned to tell what dark beasts stalk that
land</p></li>
<li><p>I spend it enjoying food and games with my family</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Did I do that right?</p>
</div>
<div class="pc">
<blockquote>
<ol type="1">
<li>Who are you?</li>
</ol>
</blockquote>
<p>oh! oh dear, i figured wed met already, but i understand if you
didnt sehey! down here! please watch where you step! gnomes dont have
very strong bones you know. my name is tato, the illusion! i enjoy card
tricks, and making people disappear</p>
<p></p>
<p>ME I MEAN. PAY NO HEED TO THE RUMORS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD</p>
<blockquote>
<ol start="2" type="1">
<li>Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?</li>
</ol>
</blockquote>
<p>like my good friend stux mentioned, it is rumohuh, what do you mean
you dont know me either? ive followed you for weeks now</p>
<p>no matter</p>
<p>the destruction of entire villages is actually only the second
scariest trick this weapon this is proof enough for me, its just
science! but to be fully rigorous, i sought to investigate further</p>
<p>upon discovering the author and asking where these visions came from,
the author replied “hell awaits you for breaking into my house at this
hour!”, which i believe refers to the coming demonic invasion</p>
<blockquote>
<ol start="5" type="1">
<li>How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?</li>
</ol>
</blockquote>
<p>woodhome means a lot to me, so i will check in with all of my
friends!</p>
<p>none of them are much the speaking type, i do not believe any of them
have ever spoken a word to me! but their company comforts me
nonetheless</p>
</div>
<div class="dm">
<p>When the world was young, the bountiful earth and the hungry sea fell
in love with each other from a distance. The earth would make eyes at
the sea, and the sea would bashfully wave. They agreed to meet face to
face to consummate their love, and the waters rose up and flooded the
land. When the great flood receded, the devastation was total. Great
cities were erased. Entire civilizations were wiped out. When they saw
what they had done in their carelessness, earth and sea agreed that,
though their love may continue to burn, they must never see each other
again.</p>
<p>But see each other they did. Quietly and discreetly, their passions
held in check by the fear of losing control once more.</p>
<p>The Flooded Lands are the last place where earth and sea mingle.
Endless bogs, wetlands, swamps, and marshes. Neither the children of the
earth nor the children of the sea are entirely at home here. Rather,
this is home to those born of the flood. Things made of mud and clay.
Slimy, scaley things with and fur and gills.</p>
<p>Your goal here is to find the Pinky, Ardans champion, and recover
the first artifact of the archmage.</p>
<p>Two paths lie ahead of you.</p>
<p>One is through the Swamp of Sorrows. It is the most direct route and
will get you to the Pinkys monastery the quickest. But it is also the
most dangerous. For the swamp is full of Dreadlights, Bog Rot, and
Oneirophants.</p>
<p>The more circuitous route is also the safer option. It will take you
around the swamp, through the Trollfen, and over Turtle Mound. A longer
journey, but one less fraught with danger.</p>
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO</p>
</div>
<div class="pc stux">
<p>I look at the rest of the party</p>
<p>“What do you all think? Im no ranger, I dont know much about the
wilderness. Im not afraid to take the quick route, but I also see the
wisdom in the more cautious approach”.</p>
</div>
<div class="pc krunn">
<ol type="1">
<li><p>Who are you?</p>
<p>Me Krunn with club who go BONK!</p></li>
<li><p>Why do the Woodhomians fear the Pinky?</p>
<p>They too have club go BONK!</p></li>
<li><p>What terrible creature lurks in the Flooded Lands?</p>
<p>Big thing with big bite that ouch.</p></li>
<li><p>What evidence have you seen of demonic presence?</p>
<p>Big foot that wide as arms.</p></li>
<li><p>How are you spending your last night in Woodhome?</p>
<p>Eat drink sleep</p></li>
</ol>
</div>
<div class="pc krunn">
<p>Krunn say go swamp more to thing to BONK.</p>
</div>
<div class="dm">
<p>The story thus far: you are on a mission to re-assemble the Staff of
the Archmage and seal the Bloodmoon Gate to prevent the Demon Horde from
sweeping across the Silver Yonder. The first piece of the staff is in
the possession of the Pinky somewhere in the Flooded Lands.</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>There is a long footbridge of rotten, moldy, wooden planks that leads
out across the fetid water. You follow it into the Swamp of Sorrows.</p>
<p>The swamp is putrid. Almost nauseatingly smelly. A thick carpet of
orange algae undulates with the rippling of the water beneath it.
Pockets of swamp gas escape the mud far below and belch noisily when
they reach the surface. Clouds of insects float above the water, and nip
at you as you pass by. Large swamp trees grow here, with gnarled,
twisted roots. Moss and thick vines hang from the branches and block
your view. Between the trees, in the distance, you can see sulphurous
yellow dreadlights bobbing up and down, just waiting to lure an
unwitting traveler out into the waters.</p>
<p>Just up ahead, a large portion of the bridge has collapsed. About as
far across as a wide road. You look down and see five or eight
emaciated, milky white bodies floating suspended in the water below you.
Their eyes are closed and their skin is pulled taught across their
bones. Their hair spreads out like a halo around their heads. These are
Oneirophants, slumbering prisoners of the swamp. If youre lucky, they
wont bother you. If you disturb their slumber though, they may try to
pull you down into the swamp to join them.</p>
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO?</p>
</div>
<div class="pc glarg">
<p>A few paces left of the entrance to the collapsed bridge is what
appears to be a boulder with an arm sticking out the side of it. It
seems to give off a very faint hum.</p>
</div>
<div class="pc krunn">
<p>Tell Stux and little gnome to stand back. Krunn will roll boulder
cause Krunn strong.</p>
</div>
<div class="pc glarg">
<p>As you study the boulder you notice the arm protruding from it is
made of the same burnt umber stone as the rest of the boulder… peculiar
because the ground around it is… well, swamp coloured.</p>
<p>The boulder begins to visibly vibrate. At first faint, but then as if
a stampeed of horses was going on around it.</p>
</div>
<div class="pc krunn">
<p>Stux what we do ? It might be woo woo magic. Krunn slowly backs away
waiting for Stux or the gnomes reply.</p>
</div>
<div class="pc stux">
<p>Hmmmm… Something strange is going on here. Im going to put on my
sunglasses of true sight and see if anything becomes obvious.</p>
</div>
<div class="pc glarg">
<p>Through the sunglasses you can see the outline of a large bulky
humanoid curled up into a tight ball with its arm sticking out.</p>
<p>All of a sudden, with a loud, deep crack, the leg dislodges itself
from the ball and starts kicking the ground. Now the boulder is rocking
back-and-forth in place with the leg kicking the ground when it gets
close.</p>
</div>
<div class="pc stux">
<p>“Hey Krunn, its BONKING TIME! Somtimes you gotta BONK first and ask
questions when they regain conscienceness”</p>
</div>
<div class="pc krunn">
<p>With a solemn nod to Stux, Krunn raises his club over his head with
both hands and runs at the rock. BONK!</p>
</div>
<div class="dm">
<p>While Stux and Krunn were fussing around with the leggy one-armed
boulder, you inadvertently attracted the attention of the swamps least
desirable denizens.</p>
<p>Three oneirophants—the lanky, clammy, pale drowned creatures who
sleep at the bottom of the swamp—have crawled up onto the pier. They
slither around on their bellies grinning and grabbing at your
ankles.</p>
<p>“Come swim with us!” says the one with no teeth.</p>
<p>“Yes, come sleep under water!” agrees the one with far too many
teeth.</p>
<p>“Such sights you will see!”</p>
<p>“Yes, such wonders!”</p>
<p>The third oneirophants mouth is sewn shut so you have no idea
whether or not it has an appropriate number of teeth. It is awkwardly
fumbling around with the ankle of the humanoid boulder but seems
incapable of getting a hold of it with its cold slippery hand. It looks
frustrated and uncomfortable.</p>
<p>One of the bobbing dreadlights—alerted to your presence by the
commotion—weaves its way over to the pier and shines brightly in your
eyes so that you have to squint.</p>
<p>“hEy dO YoU YoU WaNt tO SeE A WeIrD TuRtLe?” says the dreadlight.
“iTS RiGhT OvEr hErE, fOlLoW Me. Its rEaLlY WeIrD. yOu gOtTa sEe
iT.”</p>
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO?</p>
</div>
<div class="pc krunn">
<p>Krunn BONKS! one of the oneirophants that talks to much.</p>
</div>
<div class="pc glarg">
<p>After Krunn BONKS the boulder, its shaking slows to a rumble and then
stops. Then <strong>CRACK</strong>; a squat hemisphere pops out of the
top of the boulder. The hemisphere rotates 180 degrees. As the… head?…
completes its rotation, what appears to be crude facial feature become
visible, like a sculpter was making the rough draft of a head in
clay.</p>
<p><strong>CRACK</strong> another arm pops out of the side of the
boulder. Now the fingers on the hand of the first arm are starting to
move. The boulder rocks back and forth, pivoting around where its
fourth leg should be.</p>
<p>The mass suddenly stops wiggling as the oneirophants start talking.
It then looks at one clawing at its leg. It bends over at the middle
forming a waist until its head is about a foot from the dreadlights. It
opens its mouth indentation and makes a noise clearly not coming from
its throat, but somewhere deep within it, a noise that sounds deep,
gutteral, cosmic, and earthy.</p>
<p>“ggglllaaaAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!”</p>
<p>It moves its arm down towards the oneirophant in an attempt to grab
it and throw it back into the lake.</p>
</div>
<div class="dm">
<p>The oneirophant slithers around on its belly, grinning up at you with
its sharp little pointy teeth and its large wet eyes.</p>
<p>“Come sleep and swim with us!” it hisses at you. “You can be like a
shark! Sleeping and swimming with one eye open and—ACK!”</p>
<p>Krunn BONKS the talkative oneirophant right on its noggin. Its skull
makes a squishy sound and flattens—ejecting a surprising amount of
water—and slowly, slowly returns to its normal shape like a sponge. It
looks up at Krunn, insulted and cross-eyed and kind of lopsided, and
slinks away off the side of the pier and back into the swamp with a
plop.</p>
<p>Meanwhile Glarg is glarging out super hard. As the oneirophant tries
in vain to grab your ankle, you in turn wrap your giant rocky fist
around its entire torso and lift it up. It hisses and slither wriggles
in your grasp. You squeeze a little too tightly, and it pops out of your
grasp like a slippery fish. You comically juggle it a few times,
squeezing and shooting it from your fist. Until finally it flops onto
the pier, and back into the water.</p>
<p>The remaining oneirophants make rude faces and wag their fingers at
you, disgusted at your inhospitable behavior. And they too slither off
the side of the pier.</p>
<p>Only the dreadlight remains, bobbing up and down in the air. It is a
small orb of light about the size of your fist. It glows a sulphurous
yellow a couple arm lengths away from the pier, hovering over the
water.</p>
<p>It buzzes as it speaks in a slightly muffled, undulating voice,
“tHeRes a tUrTlE OuT HeRe tHaT Is tOtAlLy wEiRd. Its lIkE, yOu
wOuLdNT EvEn bElIeVe iT. yOuvE GoT To cOmE SeE ThIs wEiRd tUrTlE,
cmOn.”</p>
<p>Meanwhile, your way forward is still blocked by the washed out
bridge.</p>
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO</p>
</div>
<div class="pc glarg">
<p>Glarg squints its eye indents at the the dreadlight. Mistaking it for
a shiny rock, it walks on to the pier in attempt to grab it.</p>
</div>
<div class="pc krunn">
<p>Krunn like blinky light too. Krunn also like turtle. YUM! Krunn
follows Glarg.</p>
</div>
<div class="dm">
<p>Glarg grabs at the dreadlight.</p>
<p>“WHoA ThErE BuDdY!” cries the dreadlight as it dances away,
tantalizingly just out of your grasp, luring you closer and closer to
the edge of the pier. “lEts nOt bE So gRaBbY OkAy bIg gUy? I CaNT ShOw
yOu tHiS WeIrD TuRtLe iF IM AlL CaPtUrEd aNd sTuFf! aNd tHaT WoUlD Be
sAd wOuLdNT It? FoR ThErE To bE ThIs tOtAlLy wEiRd tUrTlE, aNd nObOdY
GeTs tO SeE It?”</p>
<p>Krunn sees Glarg grasp repeatedly at the annoying, bobbing light.
Finally, inevitably, they overextend themself and start to lose their
balance, teetering on the edge of the pier.</p>
<p>And thenKerSPLASH!!down they go.</p>
<p>Glarg floats like a stone in the water. Which is to say, not at all.
A gleeful oneirophant burbles with delight as you sink past, “Yes! Haha,
yessssss!”, and finally you come to rest in the mud at the bottom of the
swamp.</p>
<p>The surface of the water is only five or six feet out of your
reach.</p>
<p>You notice that you came to rest near a large, smooth, oblong,
patterned stone. And as you watch, the stone opens along its seam and a
large, striped turtle head pokes out and looks at you curiously. Then a
second striped head emerges from the shell! The second head continues to
regard you while the first one extends its neck and experimentally
nibbles on your arm with a gentle bite.</p>
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO</p>
</div>
<div class="pc stux">
<p>Suddenly you see a rope peirce the surface of the water and make its
way to you. You grab on to it, and someone starts pulling you out. You
notice it feels too soft to be a rope, and its full of knots.</p>
<p>As you come out of the water you see the warlock Stux pulling you to
shore. Thats when you finally see that the “rope” is actually a series
of brightly colored hankerchiefs tied together.</p>
<p>Stux says: “Guys, I have a confession to make. I didnt exactly tell
you the whole truth about myself. You see, I am a warlock, but Im a
party warlock. Like kids parties. My deity is Bozo The Clown. I really
do have magic, but its not the cool or useful kind.”</p>
<p>He looks down at his feet. “I just wanted to feel cool, like a real
adventurer and not a 38 year old party entertainer that lives in his
grandmothers basement”</p>
</div>
<div class="pc cremini">
<p>“Did someone say magic and parties?” says a giggling voice from
somewhere under the pier. A small round head wearing a flat hat with
pops out from among the algae and rocks to peer curiously at Stux with
beady black eyes. It smiles softly at the party warlock. “Entertainers
are cool! Are you holding a party? Thats useful for having fun!”</p>
<p>The round head clambers up to the surface, it becomes clear that the
brown flat hat is in fact the top of the stubby creatures head. It is
also apparent that they have no arms and legs (or at least no visible
appendages), but it manages to wobble closer until it is standing about
a warlocks arms length away.</p>
<p>“This one is Cremini!” It beams. “What a wonderful day for a poolside
party!”</p>
<p>It turns to the water and begins to blow bubbles along the surface of
the swamp from the top of its head.</p>
</div>
<div class="pc glarg">
<p>Glarg looks at, what it perceives to be, a talking rock. Glarg picks
up Cremini and holds it close to its bosom turn to look down at the lake
and rumbles:</p>
<p>“Twaarrrrr-taaaal”</p>
</div>
<div class="pc cremini">
<p>The talking mushroom rock — or is it a rock mushroom? — giggles when
Glarg picks it up. “Youre very strong!” It exclaims. They look
downwards at the lake as well. “Turtles all the way down!”</p>
</div>
<div class="dm">
<p>recap:</p>
<p>the Bloodmoon Gate has started to open once again and harbingers of
the Demon Horde have been seen in the Silver Yonder. Your mission is to
recover the Five Artifacts and reassemble the Staff of the Archmage, the
legendary weapon that can seal the demon gate forever. You are currently
in the Swamp of Sorrows seeking the Pinky, guardian of the first
artifact.</p>
<p>And now:</p>
<p>Stux the party warlock fishes Glarg out of the swamp.</p>
<p>Glarg picks up Cremini, the small agreeable mushroom creature whose
rock content is currently unknown.</p>
<p>Krunn assesses the landscape for potential things to bonk.</p>
<p>The swamp water bubbles, froths, and churns. As though summoned by
the Glargs words, a two-headed turtle of enormous girth breaches the
surface.</p>
<p>Its shell is black and covered in spiraling geodesic patterns. Its
heads are also black, and have colorful stripes that run from behind
their eyes along the back of their heads and necks.</p>
<p>You think that if you play this right and pacify the turtle somehow
with your unique skills and talents, that it might ferry you across the
washed out bridge to the other side.</p>
<p>The dreadlight bobs up and down excitedly, “oH HeCk yEaH LoOk aT ThAt
tUrTlE! oH MaN It iS So wEiRd hAhA! hAhA, wHeEeEe!”</p>
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO?</p>
</div>
<div class="pc krunn">
<p>Stux even though you party lock I still your friend and wont bonk
you. Krunn like to party. Krunn sees turtle and licks lips. He decides
not to BONK! turtle but to use ancient barbarian turtle charming
technique. He starts to play drums on his club.</p>
</div>
<div class="pc cremini">
<p>From its cozy nook in Glargs arms, Cremini bobs its small rock-y
head to the beat of Krunns club drums. They send tiny bubbles floating
in the air towards the turtle with light popping sounds in sync with the
rhythm.</p>
</div>
<div class="pc glarg">
<p>Glarg is vibin~~</p>
<p>It feels moved to “sing”. A sound emminated from it that is
reminiscent of an inactive volcano trying to sing the A-B-Cs to the beat
of the Krunns drum.</p>
</div>
<div class="dm">
<p>The party starts ROCKING OUT.</p>
<p>It is a total raver!</p>
<p>Krunn is drumming, Glarg is singing, Cremini is blowing bubbles. And
Stux the Party Warlock is doing all kinds of cool party tricks. Making
balloon animals. They even managed to produce a small xylophone from
somewhere and are banging out a jaunty melody with a tiny mallet.</p>
<p>The giant, two-headed turtle freezes in place. Both heads regard you,
wide-eyed and silent. And then they both start bobbing up and down in
time to the music.</p>
<p>After the performance, the giant, obsidian turtle drifts over to the
edge of the pier. You climb aboard, and continue to party hard and rock
out as the creature happily ferries you safely across the swamp.</p>
<p>The dreadlight, still bobbing up and down in place, cries out, “oMg
tHaT Is sO SiCk! HaHa wHaT A WeIrD TuRtLe! YoU GuYs aRe tOtAlLy
cRaZy!”</p>
<p>You land on the other side and de-turtle, climbing out onto the slick
grass and mud of the far shore. The turtle sinks back into the swamp
with a small smile on each of its faces and settles down into the mud
for a long nap.</p>
<p>You follow the path through the swamp and eventually come to a
large-ish clearing. It is a small glade full of silvery blades of grass.
It is full of eviscerated gilpins—small swamp gnomes that kind of
resemble fish-like bunny rabbits; it is kind of unfair how cute they
are—strewn about in piles and pieces. The center of the glade is
completely clean and clear of the gore that fills the rest of the space.
It is empty except for a circle of small toadstools, in the center of
which sits a tiny black cat which looks up at you with huge round yellow
eyes. It mewls pathetically and rolls on its back.</p>
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO</p>
</div>
<div class="pc krunn">
<p>Krunn looks sternly at the cat. “Why you kill all gnome thing? You
going to get a BONK for that. Bad Kitty!” Krunn walks toward the black
cat with his club raised. Ready to BONK it.</p>
</div>
<div class="pc glarg">
<p>Glarg, is new to being around fleshy lifeforms. It is left assuming
that the gilpins mustve gotten carried away while playing and fallen
apart. It clumsily tries to put one back together and wait for it to
turn back on.</p>
</div>
<div class="pc cremini">
<p>Spotting the toadstools, Cremini sends out tiny pink bubbles that
land on each toadstools head in some convoluted pattern that may as
well be random were it not for the <em>blip bloop</em> sounds. Like a
chipmunks tune, with only 8 bits.</p>
</div>
<div class="dm">
<p>Cremini blows some tiny pink bubbles and plays some dope toadstool
chiptune. The toadstools light up in a neon pastel pattern of bright
pinks and yellows and blues and purples. You cant help but think that
the dreadlight would think this is tOtAlLy aWeSoMe.</p>
<p>Glarg puzzles over a few gilpin pieces and clumsily tries to assemble
them. They end up with a cluster of two or three torsos and a few too
many limbs jutting out at odd angles. Almost as an afterthought they
thrust a head into its center. It is a furry, scaly, rabbity, fishy
abomination. They set it down on the ground and make some coaxing,
pleading sounds at it. It sounds like smooth river rocks rubbing against
each other.</p>
<p>Krunn severely scolds and chastises the very bad kitty! In reply, it
rolls onto its side and does a big streeeeeeetch, clawing at the ground
and doing a cute meow-purr.</p>
<p>Krunn crosses into the toadstool circle and the small cat leaps to
its feet, arches its back and hisses and spits at the sudden intrusion.
It backs away but doesnt leave the circle, and soon it is cornered, and
Krunn gives it a solid BONK right on the head, leaving a small gash
across the top of its head. It falls to the ground in a heap and doesnt
move.</p>
<p>The toadstools audibly exhale, and a pinkish cloud of spores engulf
the cat. It yowls and jumps up and puffs up to an enormous size. Its
eyes bulge. And its warping, twisting bones outgrow their fleshy
enclosure, starting at the skull where Krunn split it. When its
transformation is complete, a huge skeletal beast with a mane of black
fur across its shoulders stands inside the mushroom circle. It roars,
baring its long fangs, and swipes at Krunn with its sharp boney
claws!</p>
<p>The spores waft throughout the glade. A few of them drift over and
land on the flesh golem Glarg made of gilpin pieces. They seep into its
skin and its eyes shoot open. It looks around in apparent confusion,
gasps for air, and moans. It cautiously reaches out to Glarg with its
tangle of limbs. “Ma… Ma?”</p>
<p>Crimini notices that—although they have stopped making music at this
point—the toadstools continue to pulse weakly but rhythmically in a
repeating pattern of colors.</p>
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO?</p>
</div>
<div class="pc glarg">
<p>Glarg is delighted that the flesh elemental has reanimated! It looks
over its shoulder and is alarmed by the new calcium/keratin elemental
that appeared out of nowhere. It picks up Jr, the flesh elemental, and
puts it in the crook of its left arm while shifting Crimini to the
right, and slowly backs backs away towards the entrance to the
grove.</p>
</div>
<div class="pc cremini">
<p>“Oops. Shouldve started with a demo cut. Hee hee.” says Cremini from
the crook of Glargs arm. It emits a few more teeny green bubbles
towards the toadstools, just for a few opening notes of an adagio to
float out. A midi playing on air.</p>
</div>
<div class="pc krunn">
<p>Wide eyed, Krunn takes a few steps back. “Krunn sorry for BONK. Maybe
we can be friends” Kronn says. He reaches into his belt pouch and pulls
out a piece of yarn. “Look kitty I have to for you.” he says as he
dangles it in front of the monster cat.</p>
</div>
<div class="dm">
<p>Krunn entices the skelebeast with a piece of yarn. It stops and cocks
its head to the side. It flops onto its side, and bats at the end of
string with one big skeletal paw. Its long tail swishes back and forth
in a wide arc.</p>
<p>Glarg backs up with Jr in one arm and Cremini in the other. They
notice a cylindrical item rattling around inside the beasts rib cage.
It is the size of a small torch, or some kind of baton, or maybe a large
rolled up scroll. It seems to be made of some kind of a dull silvery
metal.</p>
<p>Cremini blows a few tiny green bubbles. The toadstools bop out a
little melody.</p>
<p>Jr, the gilpin flesh elemental, smiles happily and groans, and waves
their arms around in time with the toadstool song.</p>
<p>WHAT DO YOU DO</p>
</div>
<div class="date">
<p>Wed, Apr 12 at 8:13 PM</p>
</div>
<div class="pc cremini">
<p>Following Glargs line of sight, Cremini squints at the skelekats
ribs, “Hey, party people! Whats that inside the skele? Could it be a
treasure map? Should we ask it for a looksie?”</p>
</div>
<div class="pc glarg">
<p>“DRaaagaaaarMArrrrrb?”</p>
<p>Glarg squints its eye sockets at the mineral/protein elemental. It
puts Cremini down gently and then carefully balances Jr on top of his
“hat.”</p>
<p>He then starts a sprint/gallop on all fours, faster than you might
expect a sentient boulder to move. Its goal is to climb the elemental
and grab the curly rock trapped inside.</p>
<p>It tries to communicate in one of the common elemental language that
its here to help disloge the foreign body from the chest cavity, which
sounds a little like:</p>
<pre><code>++++++++++[&gt;+&gt;+++&gt;+++++++&gt;++++++++++&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;-]&gt;&gt;&gt;+++.&lt;++.&gt;&gt;---.++++++++++++.&lt;&lt;.&gt;&gt;-----.---.+++++++++++++.-------------.&lt;&lt;.&gt;&gt;+++++++++++++++.-----.&lt;&lt;.&gt;&gt;-------.---.+++++++.++++.&lt;&lt;.&gt;&gt;+++++++++.----------.++++++.&lt;&lt;.&gt;&gt;----------------.+++++++.-------.++++++++.--------.+++++++++.++++++.-------------------.+++++++++++.&lt;&lt;.&gt;&gt;------.++++++++++++.---------.----.+++++++++.----------.&lt;&lt;++++++++++++++.</code></pre>
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